SDG here with another quick post … If you enjoyed the Star Wars John Williams tribute song post, you may appreciate this hilarious take the Star Wars saga, retold by someone who hasn’t seen it (and animated by someone who, um, has). Enjoy!
One question that occurs to me watching this: Where did he get that image of Lando in that goofy pose, holding his cape like that?
EDIT: The YouTube video has been pulled, but you can still catch SNC's 12 Days at AOL Music.
SDG here with a Christmas-related post, if a non-religious humor one. I first saw the video below last year, but it definitely bears re-watching. Enjoy!
SDG here. Both Jimmy and I have posted in the past about mondegreens, so I won't go into the background about why misheard song lyrics and the like are called that (more at Wikipedia)… but I will tell you why I've been thinking about them lately.
Last week, I had a mondedream.
Here's what happened. Last weekend, while browsing in a bookstore, I heard the song "Run-Around" by the band Blues Traveler, a song I've heard many times before. Like many people (as I've since learned), I've never known exactly how the chorus begins — and, not being big into popular music generally, I've never thought much about it before.
I didn't think of it that evening either, although subconsciously I must have been working on it, because that night I dreamed about the song — and, in my dream, thought I was positive I had figured out the ambiguous line in question.
When I woke up, I realized that my guess had to be wrong — but I also realized that that it was actually phonetically persuasive and narratively cogent — more so, in fact, than other mondegreens on the same line I've since found online.
The real line, I have since found out, is:
"But you / Why you wanna give me the runaround?"
However, that "But-a ya-e-ew…" is polysyllablized (I'm sure there's a musicological term for this) in such a way that many people apparently think it is something more complicated. In fact, I didn't know this at the time, but it turns out that one common mondegreen for this line is "Buddy L…" Makes no sense, but that's what people think he's saying.
I like my dreamed-up version better:
"Bloody hell… why you wanna give me the runaround?"
"Bloody hell" sounds a lot like "Buddy L" (and therefore both must sound a lot like the way the line actually comes out) — but my version actually makes sense… and I came up with it in my sleep.
What's more, I keep singing it that way in my head now — even though I now know the real line.
Now that I'm on the subject, I might as well reveal my lifetime classic mondegreen.
Fair warning: This anecdote will ruin several minutes of Handel's Messiah for you. There. You can't say I didn't tell you. (As added protection, I'll white out the words so you have to swipe them with your mouse to read them.)
The Messiah got a lot of play in our house when I was a kid. My mother sang in it at a local church, and she played it especially around Christmastime. My mondegreen concerns the opening of the segment that begins:
"All we like sheep … All we like sheep / Have gone astray…"
In typical Baroque style, those first four words "All we like sheep" are echoed by four antiphonal beats from the strings section: "All we like sheep [bum bum bum bum]."
As a child, I not only misheard the words "All we like sheep," I glossed an antiphonal response onto the four following beats which, in my brain at the time, seemed somehow fitting.
So during "All we like sheep [bum bum bum bum]," what I heard in my head as a kid was (swipe with your mouse at your own risk!):
"Oh, we like sheep! [And sheep like us!]"
People hate me for telling them that, because it ruins the segment. (Sorry people!)
So those are my mondegreens. (I've got others, but I'll save 'em for later.) In the combox, feel free to share yours! I don't mean your favorite common ones, like "There's a bathroom on the right" or "Excuse me while I kiss this guy" (though you can add those too), but song lyrics you yourself misheard or misinterpreted.
In closing, a seasonal favorite (not mine!): "Now bring us some frigging pudding!" (Real line: "Now bring us some figgy pudding," "We Wish You a Merry Christmas")
Many observers were impressed by Col. Saul Tigh’s selection of Laura Roslin as his running mate in the upcoming election.
Others found Roslin to be a lightweight compared to Tigh’s 40 years of service to the Twelve Colonies and his record as a war hero and former POW.
Originally, Roslin held only a minor post in the Colonial government which–while it showcased her genuine love for children–nevertheless was a small backdrop before an unexpected and lightning rise to executive office, which she has held for only a short time.
On the other hand, her decision to ban abortion in order to keep mankind alive, her gung-ho Cylon-hunting, and her deep religious faith will surely fire up the base.
It is less clear what the effect will be of her statement that Admiral Adama’s deeply-unpopular and protracted conflict with the Cylons is a "task that is from the gods."
Some pundits viewed her selection cynically, saying that Tigh needed to choose someone like Roslin in order to shore up his standing in the party.
Many of the party faithful have long had the feeling that the maverick Tigh was not really "one of us," in the words of fighter pilot Lt. Kara Thrace, who once faced disciplinary action for punching then-Col. Tigh in the face. "No matter what his service record has been or what he endured back on New Caprica," she said, "he never really seemed like he was one of us. There was always something that made him different."
These feelings were accentuated when Col. Tigh recently confirmed rumors that he is, in fact a Cylon, though he swears that his allegiance is to mankind.
"After they revealed that, I was thinking about sitting out this election," Lt. Thrace said. "But then he named Roslin as his running mate, and that won me back over. Personally, I’d rather have Roslin at the top of the ticket than a Cylon who says he’s on our side, but anything’s better than who the other party is putting up."
Tigh’s major party rival for the presidency is the charismatic newcomer Gaius Baltar, who despite shady dealings in the past has rocketed to popularlity and achieved almost messianic status with his enthusiastic followers.
"It’s really creepy," Laura Roslin said in a recent press conference "watching all those young women treating him like some kind of religious figure who will save us all. He actually has less experience than I do, with his background as a ‘computer organizer.’"
Concerned with the effect his relative inexperience could have on voters, Gaius Baltar had nominated as his running mate Tom Zarek, a long-term political figure from the tiny world of Sagittaron who is often perceived as a political attack dog, though with a reputation for being long-winded.
"What a snore-fest he is," Lt. Thrace said.
The effect of the vice presidential selections remains to be seen, but this year’s election has already stirred much comment.
Some have marveled at the unusual plot twists the campaign has taken, while others have noted eerie similarities to other races.
Asked for comment, Priestess Elyosha of the Mystical Majority responded, "You know what they say in politics: All of this has happened before; all of this will happen again."
(CHT: Fr. Z and the reader who e-mailed.)
Both organizations are racing to make new vice-presidential picks
after it was discovered late last night that they were both about to
name the same running mate. "This is worse than when Laura Bush and
three other ladies wore the same Oscar de La Renta gown to a White
House function" said an anonymous inside source, "The public generally
expects the presidential candidates to have different running mates."
The individual at the center of the controversy won’t now be named,
and both campaigns are trying to move quickly past the faux pas, while
taking measures to make sure it doesn’t happen again. "We really need
more communication on that level" said a campaign staffer, "though the
individual should have said something to alert us weeks ago. They
thought it was pretty funny, but the joke was almost on the American
people.".
"We’ve been working hard to show the public all the important
differences between our candidate and his opponent, and this kind of
thing doesn’t make it any easier.".
TWELVE CYLON MODELS.
SEVEN ARE KNOWN.
FOUR LIVE IN SECRET.
ONE WILL BE REVEALED.
.
.
.
Okay, yeah. The evidence is pretty overwhelming.
.
.
.
John McCain is a Cylon.
C
CHT: Chris Palmer (via Tigerhawk (via Instapundit))
BTW, new BSG tonight.
William M. Briggs reports:
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
On the other hand, one of Briggs’ commenters suggests that this may be a self-correcting phenomenon:
The good news is that zombies have a significantly lower carbon
footprint than living humans. For example, if Al Gore became Zombie Al
Gore his utility usage and air travel would go from several hundred
tonnes of carbon per year to zero tonnes of carbon per year. . . .Generalize these figures across the population and we can see an
inverse relationship between zombie attacks and carbon emissions
leading in time to a reduction or reversal of warming trends and
consequently of favorable zombie habitat. A new stable state might be
brought about within a matter of decades provided zombie outbreaks can
be encouraged in heavy emitting states including mainland China.
Meanwhile, Transterrestrial Musings suggests that the real cause of global warming is the sun and that changes in the sun’s activity will actually lead to a decrease in zombie attacks, stating:
Take that, undead!
Zombies and vampires. Is there any problem the sun can’t fix?
From a recently-ended eBay auction (CHT to the reader who e-mailed!):
LOT OF POKEMON CARDS THAT MY KIDS TRIED TO SNEAK BY ME
Description:I’m selling a bunch of Pokemon cards. Why? Because my kids sneaked them into my shopping cart while at the grocery store and I ended up buying them because I didn’t notice they were there until we got home. How could I have possibly not noticed they were in my cart, you ask? Let me explain.
You haven’t lived until you’ve gone grocery shopping with six kids in tow. I would rather swim, covered in bait, through the English Channel, be a contestant on Fear Factor when they’re having pig brains for lunch, or do fourth grade math than to take my six kids to the grocery store. Because I absolutely detest grocery shopping, I tend to put it off as long as possible. There comes a time, however, when you’re peering into your fridge and thinking, ‘Hmmm, what can I make with ketchup, Italian dressing, and half an onion,’ that you decide you cannot avoid going to the grocery store any longer. Before beginning this most treacherous mission, I gather all the kids together and give them “The Lecture“.
“The Lecture“ goes like this…
MOM: “We have to go to the grocery store.”
KIDS: “Whine whine whine whine whine.“
MOM: “Hey, I don’t want to go either, but it’s either that or we’re eating cream of onion-ketchup soup and drinking Italian dressing for dinner tonight.”
KIDS: “Whine whine whine whine whine.“
MOM: “Now here are the rules: do not ask me for anything, do not poke the packages of meat in the butcher section, do not test the laws of physics and try to take out the bottom can in the pyramid shaped display, do not play baseball with oranges in the produce section, and most importantly, do not try to leave your brother at the store. Again.”
OK, the kids have been briefed. Time to go.
Once at the store, we grab not one, but two shopping carts. I wear the baby in a sling and the two little children sit in the carts while I push one cart and my oldest son pushes the other one. My oldest daughter is not allowed to push a cart. Ever. Why? Because the last time I let her push the cart, she smashed into my ankles so many times, my feet had to be amputated by the end of our shopping trip. This is not a good thing. You try running after a toddler with no feet sometime.
At this point, a woman looks at our two carts and asks me, “Are they all yours?” I answer good naturedly, “Yep!
“Oh my, you have your hands full.”
“Yes, I do, but it‘s fun!” I say smiling. I’ve heard all this before. In fact, I hear it every time I go anywhere with my brood.
We begin in the produce section where all these wonderfully, artistically arranged pyramids of fruit stand. There is something so irresistibly appealing about the apple on the bottom of the pile, that a child cannot help but try to touch it. Much like a bug to a zapper, the child is drawn to this piece of fruit. I turn around to the sounds of apples cascading down the display and onto the floor. Like Indiana Jones, there stands my son holding the all-consuming treasure that he just HAD to get and gazing at me with this dumbfounded look as if to say, “Did you see that??? Wow! I never thought that would happen!”
I give the offending child an exasperated sigh and say, “Didn’t I tell you, before we left, that I didn’t want you taking stuff from the bottom of the pile???”
“No. You said that you didn’t want us to take a can from the bottom of the pile. You didn’t say anything about apples.”
With superhuman effort, I resist the urge to send my child to the moon and instead focus on the positive – my child actually listened to me and remembered what I said!!! I make a mental note to be a little more specific the next time I give the kids The Grocery Store Lecture.
A little old man looks at all of us and says, “Are all of those your kids?”
Thinking about the apple incident, I reply, “Nope. They just started following me. I’ve never seen them before in my life.”
OK, now onto the bakery section where everything smells so good, I’m tempted to fill my cart with cookies and call it a day. Being on a perpetual diet, I try to hurry past the assortment of pies, cakes, breads, and pastries that have my children drooling. At this point the chorus of “Can we gets” begins.
“Can we get donuts?”
“No.”
“Can we get cupcakes?”
“No.”
“Can we get muffins?”
“No.”
“Can we get pie?”
“No.”
You’d think they’d catch on by this point, but no, they’re just getting started.
In the bakery, they’re giving away free samples of coffee cake and of course, my kids all take one. The toddler decides he doesn’t like it and proceeds to spit it out in my hand. (That’s what moms do. We put our hands in front of our children’s mouths so they can spit stuff into them. We’d rather carry around a handful of chewed up coffee cake, than to have the child spit it out onto the floor. I’m not sure why this is, but ask any mom and she’ll tell you the same.) Of course, there’s no garbage can around, so I continue shopping one-handed while searching for someplace to dispose of the regurgitated mess in my hand.
In the meat department, a mother with one small baby asks me, “Wow! Are all six yours?”
I answer her, “Yes, but I’m thinking of selling a couple of them.”
(Still searching for a garbage can at this point.)
Ok, after the meat department, my kids’ attention spans are spent. They’re done shopping at this point, but we aren’t even halfway through the store. This is about the time they like to start having shopping cart races. And who may I thank for teaching them this fun pastime? My seventh “child”, also known as my husband. While I’m picking out loaves of bread, the kids are running down the aisle behind the carts in an effort to get us kicked out of the store. I put to stop to that just as my son is about to crash head on into a giant cardboard cut-out of a Keebler elf stacked with packages of cookies.
Ah! Yes! I find a small trash can by the coffee machine in the cereal aisle and finally dump out the squishy contents of my hand. After standing in the cereal aisle for an hour and a half while the kids perused the various cereals, comparing the marshmallow and cheap, plastic toy content of each box, I broke down and let them each pick out a box. At any given time, we have twenty open boxes of cereal in my house.
As this is going on, my toddler is playing Houdini and maneuvering his little body out of the seat belt in an attempt to stand up in the cart. I’m amazed the kid made it to his second birthday without suffering a brain damaging head injury. In between trying to flip himself out of the cart, he sucks on the metal bars of the shopping cart. Mmmm, can you say “influenza”?
The shopping trip continues much like this. I break up fights between the kids now and then and stoop down to pick up items that the toddler has flung out of the cart. I desperately try to get everything on my list without adding too many other goodies to the carts.
Somehow I manage to complete my shopping in under four hours and head for the check-outs where my kids start in on a chorus of, “Can we have candy?” What evil minded person decided it would be a good idea to put a display of candy in the check-out lanes, right at a child’s eye level? Obviously someone who has never been shopping with children.
As I unload the carts, I notice many extra items that my kids have sneaked in the carts unbeknownst to me. I remove a box of Twinkies, a package of cupcakes, a bag of candy, and a can of cat food (we don’t even have a cat!). I somehow missed the box of Pokemon cards however and ended up purchasing them unbeknownst to me. As I pay for my purchases, the clerk looks at me, indicates my kids, and asks, “Are they all yours?”
Frustrated, exhausted from my trip, sick to my stomach from writing out a check for $289.53, dreading unloading all the groceries and putting them away and tired of hearing that question, I look at the clerk and answer her in my most sarcastic voice, “No. They’re not mine. I just go around the neighborhood gathering up kids to take to the grocery store because it’s so much more fun that way.”
So, up for auction is an opened (they ripped open the box on the way home from the store) package of Pokemon cards. There are 44 cards total. They’re in perfect condition, as I took them away from the kiddos as soon as we got home from the store. Many of them say "Energy". I tried carrying them around with me, but they didn’t work. I definitely didn’t have any more energy than usual. One of them is shiny. There are a few creature-like things on many of them. One is called Pupitar. Hee hee hee Pupitar! (Oh no! My kids’ sense of humor is rubbing off on me!) Anyway, I don’t there’s anything special about any of these cards, but I’m very much not an authority on Pokemon cards. I just know that I’m not letting my kids keep these as a reward for their sneakiness.
Shipping is FREE on this item. Insurance is optional, but once I drop the package at the post office, it is no longer my responsibility. For example, if my son decides to pour a bottle of glue into the envelope, or my daughter spills a glass of juice on the package, that’s my responsibility and I will fully refund your money. If, however, I take the envelope to the post office and a disgruntled mail carrier sets fire to it, a pack of wild dogs rip into it, or a mail sorting machine shreds it, it’s out of my hands, so you may want to add insurance. I will leave feedback for you as soon as I’ve received your payment. I will be happy to combine shipping on multiple items won within three days. This comes from a smoke-free, pet-free, child-filled home. Please ask me any questions before placing your bid. Happy bidding! 🙂
The cards eventually sold for $142.51. The auction received 180,000 views.
So the marketers for the upcoming Simpsons Movie have painted a 180-foot tall Homer Simpson next to the Cerne Abbas Giant.
I think it’s hilarious.
The local pagans, however, are annoyed, as they consider the giant (a) sacred or something like that and (b) a fertility symbol dating from ancient times.
In reality, it was made in the 17th century and may be a lampoon on Oliver Cromwell depicted as a naked Hercules.
In other words, it’s one more phony claim of a pagan survival in Britain. Y’know, like Wicca and stuff.
I’m just sayin’.
GET THE STORY. (WARNING: Story discusses the fact that the giant is anatomically correct and has images of such.)
MORE ON THE CERNE ABBAS GIANT. (WARNING: Article discusses the fact that the giant is anatomically correct and has images of such.)
