Category: Curios & Humor

Okay! The link to GiantMicrobes.Com is too amazing to pass up!

For those who missed it, yesterday Tim J. was telling about a bug that’s recently had him severely under the weather. (Muchos sympathies to Tim J.!)

There’s been something similar going around the Catholic Answers offices (as Michelle mentioned), only it seems to be a cough-inducing virus that goes into folks lungs and stays there for weeks and weeks and weeks. (Mercifully, I have not caught it.)

Then in the combox a helpful reader pointed to the amazing site GiantMicrobes.Com! As they explain on the site:

We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, Stomach Ache, Cough, Ear Ache, Bad Breath, Kissing Disease, Athlete’s Foot, Ulcer, Martian Life, Beer & Bread, Black Death, Ebola, Flesh Eating, Sleeping Sickness, Dust Mite, Bed Bug, and Bookworm (and in our Professional line: H.I.V. and Hepatitis).

Each 5-to-7 inch doll is accompanied by an image of the real microbe it represents, as well as information about the microbe.

They make great learning tools for parents and educators, as well as amusing gifts for anyone with a sense of humor!

They’re also serious about making the plush toys look like (well, kinda like) the offending real-world critters.

They’re the perfect thing to help Mr. Monk get over his germophobia!

Note also that they have a "Martian Life" plush toy based on the alleged fossils of Martian life in that meteor they found in Antartica.

(Warning also that a few of the diseases are scary or unmentionable.)

Combining the themes of the first two posts today (i.e., the Supreme Court and Star Trek), it’s worth noting that blogger Alan K. Henderson writes:

Kathryn Jean Lopez has a question she wants posed to John Roberts (link via Glenn):

"I’d like to know if Star Trek had an influence on John Roberts and, if so, what that influence was."

Here are some responses I don’t want to hear:

• "It is a good day to die."
• "Strength
  is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. We wish to improve ourselves. We
  will add your distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to
  service ours."
• "My position on Roe? How much latinum is it worth to you?"
• "Please state the nature of the legal emergency."
• "From hell’s heart, I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
• "Setting dissent on stun."
• "Don’t push your luck, pinkskin!"
• "Engaging cloaking device." [dodging a question]
• "Red alert! Raise shields!" [more dodging]
• "Beam me out of here!" [yet more dodging]
• "Really, Mr. Senator, you emotions will become your undoing."

Okay, maybe I do want to hear that last one [SOURCE].

Feel free to add your own inappropriate Star Trek answers in the combox.

Here’s a video that’s been going around the Net lately. It’s titled–for reasons that will become obvious if they aren’t already–"Don’t touch my bone."

CLICK TO WATCH.

OR GO HERE TO DOWNLOAD.

It’s funny!

A lot of folks have been wondering what’s going on in the mind of the dog in the video. At first glance, his behavior certainly seems strange, and hypothetically he could have a canine equivalent of one of those disorders where a part of a person’s body (e.g., a hand) moves without voluntary control.

But I think there may be a very simple explanation:

<SPOILER SWIPE>He’s just playing! Dogs sometimes chase their tails, seeming to treat a body part (their tail) as if it were part of another critter. Something like that may be happening here. This dog may have achieved the level of abstraction needed to play a little game of defending his bone against an imaginary aggressor, while using his foot to play the part of the imaginary aggressor. It may just be a dog version of what happens when little boy put toy soldiers or toy robots or whatever in each hand and then let the toys "fight" in front of them. If so, the dog isn’t crazy. He’s just smart and playful.</SPOILER SWIPE>

Here’s a video that’s been going around the Net lately. It’s titled–for reasons that will become obvious if they aren’t already–"Don’t touch my bone."

CLICK TO WATCH.

OR GO HERE TO DOWNLOAD.

It’s funny!

A lot of folks have been wondering what’s going on in the mind of the dog in the video. At first glance, his behavior certainly seems strange, and hypothetically he could have a canine equivalent of one of those disorders where a part of a person’s body (e.g., a hand) moves without voluntary control.

But I think there may be a very simple explanation:

<SPOILER SWIPE>He’s just playing! Dogs sometimes chase their tails, seeming to treat a body part (their tail) as if it were part of another critter. Something like that may be happening here. This dog may have achieved the level of abstraction needed to play a little game of defending his bone against an imaginary aggressor, while using his foot to play the part of the imaginary aggressor. It may just be a dog version of what happens when little boy put toy soldiers or toy robots or whatever in each hand and then let the toys "fight" in front of them. If so, the dog isn’t crazy. He’s just smart and playful.</SPOILER SWIPE>

Bloggers The Angry Twins have come up with a gummi presentation to explain the seven deadly sins.

Can you guess which deadly sin the little green guy pictured here represents?

GET THE PRESENTATION.

(WARNING! One of the seven deadly sins is . . . ahem . . . well, y’know.)

CHT to the reader who e-mailed!

A reader writes:

In light of recent shark bites in Florida and South Jersey, it seemed imperative to come up with some guidlines to "help"  people from future incidents. Hope you enjoy these.

EXCERPTS:

• Avoid shiny reflective jewelry and uneven tans or tan lines (sharks are attracted to contrasts); avoid swimming with gaping gunshot wounds (sharks possess phenomenal olfactory senses, and are enthralled by blood); do not use barbecue- or human-scented suntan lotion.
• Do spray yourself with the threatening scent of a predator of a shark (for example, larger sharks)
• Never be the farthest swimmer from shore. Always get someone else to swim out farther.
• Sharks are afraid of lightning and thunder. The best time to take a swim is during a violent electrical storm.
• Do not bring too many inflatable sharks into the ocean. It will make it difficult to identify the true sharks, which are the real threat.
• Remember: Very few parts of the shark pose any danger at all to you. Stay near those parts.
• Strike first. Inflict a large, potentially fatal bite to underbelly of shark before he has any idea what is happening.

GET THE REST OF THESE TIMELY AND VALUABLE SUMMERTIME SAFETY TIPS!

Down yonder a reader asks concerning robotic lawnmowers that automatically cut people’s grass:

"Isn’t that dangerous? What if there are kids in the neighbourhood?"

It might well be. I don’t know what kind of safety precautions these things have or what laws there may be concerning where they can be used.

However, here’s an even more amazing lawnmower engineering thingie (cowboy hat tip: Southern Appeal).

It’s called the Sky Cutter, and you can order your own kit to make one remarkably inexpensively.

For the record, this isn’t a lawnmower that has been rejiggered to fly. It’s a model airplane that has been rejiggered to look like a lawnmower, one of a number of novelty model aircraft produced by FlyingThingZ.Com.

Most amazing is a film of the Sky Cutter in action–set to the tune of Cotton-Eyed Joe. As they put it at Southern Appeal: "Pure (Redneck) Genius"!

YEE-HAW!!!

WATCH THE MOVIE (Windows Media Player)

Google says that these prayers show up on 512 different Internet sites, so count this one as #513.

I have no idea where these come from or if these are at all authentic, but they’re still funny and charming, so here goes . . .

1.  Dear God,
please put another holiday
between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda

2.  Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother
but what I asked for was a puppy.
I never asked for anything before.
You can look it up.
Joyce

3.  Dear Mr.
God,
I wish you would not make it so easy
for people to come apart
I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet

4.  God,
I read the bible.
What does beget mean?
Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison

5.  Dear God,
how did you know you were God?
Who told you?
Charlene

6.  Dear God,
is it true my father
won’t get in Heaven
if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita

7.  Dear God,
I bet it’s very hard for you
to love all of everybody in the whole world.
There are only 4 people in our family
and I can never do it.
Nancy

8.  Dear God,
I like the story about Noah
the best of all of them.
You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn

9.  Dear God,
my Grandpa says you were around
when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis

10.  Dear God,
do you draw the lines around the countries?
If you don’t, who does?
Nathan

11.  Dear God,
did you mean for giraffes
to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma

12.  Dear God,
in bible times,
did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer

13.  Dear God,
how come you did all those miracles
in the old days and don’t do any now?
Billy

14.  Dear God,
please send Dennis Clark
to a different summer camp this year.
Peter

15.  Dear God,
maybe Cain and Abel
would not kill each other so much
if they each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry

16.  Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring,
but it never did come yet.
What’s up?  Don’t forget.
Mark

17.  Dear God,
my brother told me about
how you are born
but it just doesn’t sound right.
What do you say?
Marsha

18.  Dear God,
if you watch in Church on Sunday
I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara

19.  Dear God,
is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,
or do you just know him through the business?
Donny

20.  Dear God,
I do not think anybody
could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that.
I am not just saying that because
you are already God.
Charlesv

21.  Dear God,
it is great the way you always
get the stars in the right place.
Why can’t you do that with the moon?
Jeff

22.  Dear God,
I am doing the best I can.
Really !!!!
Frank

And, saving the best for last   .

23.  Dear God,
I didn’t think orange went with purple
until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night.
That was really cool.
Thomas

[NOTE FROM JIMMY: Actually, my personal favorite was #20, but the sunset one obviously impressed the anonymous author of the list more. #2 and #5 were personal favorites as well.]

Google says that these prayers show up on 512 different Internet sites, so count this one as #513.

I have no idea where these come from or if these are at all authentic, but they’re still funny and charming, so here goes . . .

1.  Dear God,

please put another holiday

between Christmas and Easter.

There is nothing good in there now.

Amanda

2.  Dear God,

Thank you for the baby brother

but what I asked for was a puppy.

I never asked for anything before.

You can look it up.

Joyce

3.  Dear Mr.

God,
I wish you would not make it so easy

for people to come apart

I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.

Janet

4.  God,

I read the bible.

What does beget mean?

Nobody will tell me.

Love Alison

5.  Dear God,

how did you know you were God?

Who told you?

Charlene

6.  Dear God,

is it true my father

won’t get in Heaven

if he uses his golf words in the house?

Anita

7.  Dear God,

I bet it’s very hard for you

to love all of everybody in the whole world.

There are only 4 people in our family

and I can never do it.

Nancy

8.  Dear God,

I like the story about Noah

the best of all of them.

You really made up some good ones.

I like walking on water, too.

Glenn

9.  Dear God,

my Grandpa says you were around

when he was a little boy.

How far back do you go?

Love, Dennis

10.  Dear God,

do you draw the lines around the countries?

If you don’t, who does?

Nathan

11.  Dear God,

did you mean for giraffes

to look like that or was it an accident?

Norma

12.  Dear God,

in bible times,

did they really talk that fancy?

Jennifer

13.  Dear God,

how come you did all those miracles

in the old days and don’t do any now?

Billy

14.  Dear God,

please send Dennis Clark

to a different summer camp this year.

Peter

15.  Dear God,

maybe Cain and Abel

would not kill each other so much

if they each had their own rooms.

It works out OK with me and my brother.

Larry

16.  Dear God,

I keep waiting for spring,

but it never did come yet.

What’s up?  Don’t forget.

Mark

17.  Dear God,

my brother told me about

how you are born

but it just doesn’t sound right.

What do you say?

Marsha

18.  Dear God,

if you watch in Church on Sunday

I will show you my new shoes.

Barbara

19.  Dear God,

is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,

or do you just know him through the business?

Donny

20.  Dear God,

I do not think anybody

could be a better God than you.

Well, I just want you to know that.

I am not just saying that because

you are already God.

Charlesv

21.  Dear God,

it is great the way you always

get the stars in the right place.

Why can’t you do that with the moon?

Jeff

22.  Dear God,

I am doing the best I can.

Really !!!!

Frank

And, saving the best for last   .

23.  Dear God,

I didn’t think orange went with purple

until I saw the sunset

you made on Tuesday night.

That was really cool.

Thomas

[NOTE FROM JIMMY: Actually, my personal favorite was #20, but the sunset one obviously impressed the anonymous author of the list more. #2 and #5 were personal favorites as well.]

If you look closely you will see that this very toast bears the image of a well-known (and, ironically, anti-carbohydrate) Catholic apologist familiar to us all.

In a bizarre coincidence, it popped up out of the toaster just as the announcer on Iron Chef shouted "allez cuisine!" (translated – "Everyone into the kitchen!"). Clearly I was meant to come "into the kitchen" and discover this mysterious image.

You won’t see this on E-bay, though. In my excitement I became confused and the mystery toast was accidentally slathered with butter and honey and consumed.

Unbelieveably, when examined closely the second piece of toast bore the images of Tom and John Knoll, inventors of Adobe Photoshop.
Find out more about the history of Photoshop HERE.

JIMMY ADDS: In this case, I wouldn’t be anti-carbohydrate. Any toast of this nature should be consumed immediately for the sake of all mankind. Who knows what the Easter Bunny could do with it!