Category: Curios & Humor

Peep this five-star cartoon by young cartoonist Zach Brissett:

SOURCE: Southern Appeal.

Okay…

Time to let everyone off the hook on the mystery cube, though I’m afraid your combox speculations may be more entertaining than my original thought.

Gene Branaman’s comment only served to remind me that I am not running in the right artsy social circles. If, during my art career, I had payed more attention to strategic shmoozing, I might indeed be able to display my cube of meat on a marble pedastal in some urban gallery and probably make several thousand dollars on the thing.

I found Jimmy’s observation about the "greenish stripe" a little unsettling, as my family had already cooked and eaten the cube in question. I think it is a result, though, of a phenomenon we artists call "simultaneous color contrast". The "stripe" is actually grayish, but in contrast to the surrounding reddish color, appears green-ish.

I sure hope so, anyway.

What you have all been looking at is what I like to call (for want of a better name) Tur-Fu!

It is processed turkey meat, carefully formed into the approximate shape of a block of Tofu. I am hoping to market this to people who… umm… don’t like, or who may be allergic, to tofu.

Problem is, ground turkey tastes pretty good (we made chili), which is a characteristic not generally found in tofu. I have been trying to think of a way to extract all the flavor out of the turkey, so that it tastes more like styrofoam.

Or air.

Oh, well. I will keep trying.

I know that this won’t be everyone’s cup of Earl Grey, but I am just trying to provide alternatives, here. 

I do want to reassure everyone that no soybeans were harmed in the making of this post!

What the heck is this? It’s a new product I am in the process of inventing. I admit it is a rough start. Marketing is everything, though, and I’m confident this is the perfect "niche" product.
If you figure out what it is, maybe you can suggest a snappy name.

I’ll give a small hint – it’s pretty tasty, which remains a problem.

Michelle here.

I’ve always thought of myself to be more like Lucy Van Pelt than Lucy Pevensie, but that may be because I have not yet read the Chronicles of Narnia.

GET THE QUIZ.

Recently a company in China got it’s business license pulled.

Why?

Harboring anti-Communist sentiments? Being overly friendly with the Catholic Church? Selling "Goddess of Liberty" statues at Tiananmen Square?

Nope.

Selling real estate on the moon.

No kidding!

At $37 dollars an acre.

But the company isn’t taking it lying down that it got its business license suspended.

It’s suing the authorities to get it back!

GET THE STORY.

Now, if you personally would like to buy some lunar real estate, don’t fret.

YOU CAN GET IT HERE

from the same company whose Beijing branch was just closed.

A few weeks ago I actually found myself contemplating getting a Starbucks credit card since I often find myself heading in there for a hot chocolate and a gossip-fest with my sister and a mutual friend. Then I came to my senses and decided not to drink materialism’s Kool-Aid by getting plastic to buy a cup of cocoa.  In any event, the Curt Jester has devised a credit card offer that I’d like to find in my mailbox: The Vatican credit card, the slogan of which is, naturally enough, "Don’t leave Rome without it!"

"Sure you receive offers everyday in the mail and you promptly throw them away, but this offer is truly different. Tired of false promises and fine print that discloses how you are going to be raked over the coals if you actually charge anything? Tired of big banks that will only get bigger by charging you a fortune in interest and late fees. If you are tired and disillusioned by business cons then you will actually love this new credit card that actually delivers on its promises.

[…]

"But wait there is more! Each member gets automatically enrolled in our debt warning system. If your charges become disordered in relationship to your salary automatic stewardship warnings are mailed to your house or sent via email. Our group of dedicated contemplative money managers will also immediately start asking St. John of the Cross to intercede for you in the area of detachment from material things.

"From the Church that brought you Western civilization finally there is a name you can trust on the card you carry around with you in your wallet."

GET THE POST.

Sign me up as quickly as possible so I can be sure to use it next time at Starbucks!

One night on the cruise this year I came back from dinner and found this little creature sitting on my nightstand.

At first I was charmed (at the obvious cuteness of the object).

Then I was impressed (at my cabin attendant’s obvious skill in fashioning an elephant out of towels).

Then I was confused (at why he’d take the time to do this).

Then I was mildly disturbed (at the fact that those are MY sunglasses and to retrieve them my cabin attendant had to venture a little farther into one of my unzipped tote bags than I was comfortable with).

Then I realized the potential for a blog post and whipped out my camera.

Little did I know that this was only the first whimsical towel creature that would visit my cabin over succeeding nights.

Continue reading “March Of The Burn-Victim Towel Animals!”

So I’m sure you’ve seen all those web ads for Catholic dating services, Protestant dating services, Jewish dating services, conservative dating services, and whatnot.

What’s next?

How about an

ATHEIST DATING SERVICE?

Upon looking at this site’s FAQs, I noticed that one of them was "Who runs FreeThinker’s Match Maker?" and immediately thought: "A lonely atheist guy?"

YUP.

While surfing through some Evangelical Christian blogs, I noticed a curious award given to Phil Johnson’s PyroManiac. He had been awarded a "Get out of Purgatorio free!"-card, created in the image of Monopoly’s "Get out of jail free!"-cards. Since Evangelicals do not believe in purgatory, and since neither the person who awarded the card or the person who received it believe in purgatory, I assume that the donor of the card was awarding Johnson a free pass out of his own weblog that is named Purgatorio.

If anyone knows of a source of free passes out of Actual Purgatory, let me know. I know of some suffering souls who would be greatly appreciative of the donation.

. . . thus giving it a 5-Catholic majority:

10) Meat-less Fridays all year round in the Supreme Court cafeteria;

9) Oral arguments in Latin;

8)
The bones of [first] Chief Justice [John Jay] Marshall will be disinterred and placed in a
glass coffin in the center of the Supreme Court bench;

7) Collections between each session of oral argument;

6) Supreme Court windows replaced with stained glass;

5)
On close votes, the Justices will consult a statue of St. Thomas More.
If the statue weeps, they affirm; if no tears, then they reverse.

4) Incense at the start of each session;

3) Supreme Court opinions will be deemed infallible and unreviewable by any earthly authority [Ed. – Sorry – that does not appear to be a change at all]

2) Catechism of the Catholic Church will now be "persuasive authority";

And, the number one change which a Catholic majority would make to the Supreme Court . . .

1) Wednesday night bingo!

SOURCE.

CHT: Southern Appeal.