Okay…
Time to let everyone off the hook on the mystery cube, though I’m afraid your combox speculations may be more entertaining than my original thought.
Gene Branaman’s comment only served to remind me that I am not running in the right artsy social circles. If, during my art career, I had payed more attention to strategic shmoozing, I might indeed be able to display my cube of meat on a marble pedastal in some urban gallery and probably make several thousand dollars on the thing.
I found Jimmy’s observation about the "greenish stripe" a little unsettling, as my family had already cooked and eaten the cube in question. I think it is a result, though, of a phenomenon we artists call "simultaneous color contrast". The "stripe" is actually grayish, but in contrast to the surrounding reddish color, appears green-ish.
I sure hope so, anyway.
What you have all been looking at is what I like to call (for want of a better name) Tur-Fu!
It is processed turkey meat, carefully formed into the approximate shape of a block of Tofu. I am hoping to market this to people who… umm… don’t like, or who may be allergic, to tofu.
Problem is, ground turkey tastes pretty good (we made chili), which is a characteristic not generally found in tofu. I have been trying to think of a way to extract all the flavor out of the turkey, so that it tastes more like styrofoam.
Or air.
Oh, well. I will keep trying.
I know that this won’t be everyone’s cup of Earl Grey, but I am just trying to provide alternatives, here.
I do want to reassure everyone that no soybeans were harmed in the making of this post!
Um… Tim… if you’re serious here…
Not to burst your bubble or anything, but why wouldn’t the people who don’t like tofu just eat plain turkey rather than your turfu? If they’re vegetarian, they won’t be eating turfu because it’s made of animals, and if they’re not, they’d just eat the turkey because it tastes better. Unless you’re trying to use this as a tofu substitute…
Or are you just making fun of Quorn and stuff like that that’s supposed to taste like meat but isn’t?
I always thought it would be hilarious to take meat products and try to make them look and taste like vegetables.
I could market them with names such as “Broccomeat”, “turkarrots”, and “lardduce”, though that last one sounds dangerously close to something else.
I just thought of another good one: Patétoes.
I always thought Tur-fu was a deadly form of fowl martial arts, like Chick-Kwon-do or Wushu Duck. The most dangerous move in Tur-fu is (of course) The Forgotten Wing.
I once saw a beach ball covered in peanut butter (Skippy smooth, if memory serves) that someone called art & put, literally, on a pedestal. I’m not sure what the artiste’s statement or point was but I know what mine was as I laughed out loud in the little gallery to the surprised states of folks who must’ve found the work . . . deep.
Instead of shaped like a tofu block, why not shape it like Catholic apologists? “Munch on Jimmy while reading your Haydock…Satisfy your hunger with Mark Shea while debating hours online…”
Sorry to go “here”, but it looks like most of the “herbal (420)” brownies that I have consumed in the past.
Tofu, eh? hmmm