Category: Curios & Humor

… Well, not my church, the architecture of which I like just fine, but I can never resist the opportunity to make a bad pun.

The church in the picture is a Lego church, built by a computer programmer, Amy Hughes, who once wanted to be an architect and who obviously had way too much time on her hands. Here are some quickie facts about the Lego church:

"How long to build it? It was about a year and a half of planning, building and photographing.

"How many pieces of Lego to build it? More than 75,000.

"How big is it? About 7 feet by 5 1/2 feet by 30 inches (2.2 m x 1.7m x .76m).

"How many Lego people does it seat? 1372.

"How many windows? 3976. It [also] features a balcony, a narthex, stairs to the balcony, restrooms, coat rooms, several mosaics, a nave, a baptistery, an alter, a crucifix, a pulpit and an elaborate pipe organ."

SEE MORE PICTURES.

It’s a cool toy project, but be sure not to forget Ms. Hughes’ name. In the event that your diocese decides to build a new parish and her name appears as on the project as an architect, start worrying.

JIMMY ADDS: I’m thinking that the Lego church needs to inaugurate a more effective outreach program. If it doesn’t get more Lego parishioners into the pews fast then its donations won’t be able to underwrite the payments it needs to make such an obviously elaborate structure. I hope the Lego church had a lot of money in its building fund before it started such an extensive construction project.

(CHT Bill Dembski and the reader who e-mailed!)

CHT to the reader who e-mailed the following story.

As many of you know, the CES was kicked off yesterday with
Bill Gates heading the CES Game Power Showcase and Forum.
A technological breakthrough will be introduced today that
will be a must have for everyone in 2006.

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device,
trade named: BOOK

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no
wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be
connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use, even a child
can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere — even
sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful
enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. Here’s
how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper
(recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of
information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit
device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their
correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use
both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density
and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for
further increases in information density; for now, BOOKs
with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information
directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to
the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used
merely by opening it.

Unlike other display devices, BOOK never crashes or requires
rebooting, and it can even be dropped on the floor or
stepped on without damage. However, it can become unusable
if immersed in water for a significant period of time. The
"browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet
and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an
"index" feature, which pinpoints the exact location of
selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to
the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if
the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design
standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by
various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can
be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous
views at once. The number is limited only by the number of
pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries
with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib
Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a
precursor of a new entertainment wave. Also, BOOK’s appeal
seems so certain that thousands of content creators have
committed to the platform and investors are reportedly
flocking. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

So the official delegation of the State of Narnia to World Trade Organization have walked out of talks with the world powers and gone home.

"’The independent state of Narnia has walked out of trade negotiations here [Hong Kong], citing pressure from the EU and the US to enforce liberalisation of its garment-related sector,’ read the story.

"It went on to quote Narnia’s spokeswoman ‘Susan Aslan’ attacking ‘bullying by EU and US delegations,’ adding its representatives were returning to the capital Cair Parvel."

Once the mainstream media finally caught on that the "story" was a spoof planted by a jokester, it shamefacedly pulled it off such business sites as Forbes.com:

"A Day Today-style story claimed the state of Narnia had walked out of the World Trade Organisation talks in Hong Kong because it was fed up with being bullied by the US and Europe.

"The wind-up was posted on news wires on Sunday and stayed up for nearly an hour — long enough for it to be picked up by top business websites, including Forbes.com."

GET THE STORY.

(Nod to Mark Shea for the link.)

Next thing you know we’ll see stories on how Hogwarts has received accreditation and King Kong has been rescued by PETA.

Feel free to suggest more such spoofs in the combox.

LarkNews.com, a Christian satirical news site, has released it latest issue. My favorite bit of "virtual news" was notice that Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life has bought the New Orleans Saints and will build for them a football stadium to be dubbed the Purpose-Driven Field.

"The centerpiece of Warren’s purchase will be Purpose-Driven Field, to be located just north of New Orleans. Stadium construction will create thousands of jobs for the local economy, and will give Warren’s ministry a foothold in the South, where he hopes to gain greater influence. During the week, Purpose-Driven Field will host conferences, outreaches and short-term missions groups stopping over on their way to Central America, or helping to rebuild New Orleans. Warren already refers to the New Orleans location as Saddleback South, friends say.

"The Saints will now operate differently than most NFL teams. Players will be required to go through the 40 Days of Purpose program. Alcohol will not be served in the stadium, and every attendee will receive a copy of the Purpose-Driven Life. Halftime shows will offer ‘edgy, cool’ evangelism and worship concerts, says a spokesman. Warren intends to be as visible as Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, who often walks the sidelines during games.

"’We’re marching into New Orleans,’ Warren told partner churches recently to rousing applause."

GET THE STORY.

(Nod to Mark Shea for the link.)

For a St. Blog’s parody of The Purpose-Driven Life, check out The Porpoise-Driven Life by the Curt Jester.

Explaining God, to the extent that it is possible for humans to understand him, is not a bad thing. I think what makes the cartoon hilarious is that it captures the attitude of those theologians who do not consider themselves bound by doctrinal orthodoxy and end up trying to explain away God.

I consider a time capsule to be a box or tube. Some people in 1957 thought a great time capsule would be a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere, so they filled it with souvenirs of the time period and buried in a concrete vault. When the time capsule is opened in 2007, the person or his heirs who most accurately guessed Tulsa, Oklahoma’s 2007 population will win the capsule and a bank account that is now worth approximately $1200. … If the account can be found, that is.

"The 1957 Belvedere is underground next to the Tulsa County Courthouse. Also buried with it were five gallons of gas and a case of beer.

"Old news reports indicate the gas was buried in case internal combustion engines became obsolete by 2007 and no fuel was available. Other buried items include the contents of a woman’s purse: 14 bobby pins, a lipstick, a pack of gum, tissues, a pack of cigarettes and matches and $2.43.

"There was also an unpaid parking ticket, a bottle of tranquilizers and a spool of microfilm, which records the entries of a contest held to determine the winner of the car. The person to guess Tulsa’s population in 2007 or the heirs of that person were to win the car and a $100 savings account.

"Assuming an average annual interest of 5 percent compounded quarterly, such an account would be worth almost $1,200 today, if the account could be found.

"The account was set up at a savings and loan that was taken over by Sooner Federal, which was liquidated during the savings and loan bust of the early 1990s. The committee has been trying to find the account, so far without success."

GET THE STORY.

It’s interesting that the capsule’s creators thought that gas might no longer be available in 2007. The way things are going these days with laws created by Big Nanny and legions of agitated activists lobbying Big Nanny for more legislation, my guess would be that the product in the capsule most likely to be obsolete in two years would be the cigarettes.

CHT to the reader who sent in THIS STORY from the Weekly World News:

VATICAN SPOKESMAN CONFIRMS …
PEACE TALKS UNDER WAY BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS!
War between good and evil has left Hell virtually bankrupt!

By MICHAEL CHIRON
Vatican City

ANGELS and demons have quietly entered into peace talks — and if all goes well, Heaven and Hell could sign a treaty normalizing relations within weeks!

That’s the mindbending assertion of a leading theologian who has sources privy to the highstakes negotiations.

"Just a decade ago, a peace pact between Heaven and Hell would have been unthinkable," says Mario Ongini of Vatican City.

"But in this era, we’ve seen many implacable foes, like Great Britain and the IRA, sit down at the bargaining table to settle their differences.

"Of course, this won’t be a cakewalk. The two camps remain miles apart on many issues — and there’s a lot of bad blood and distrust." It was reportedly Satan who first extended the olive branch, sending God the message, "Isn’t it time to let bygones be bygones?"

GET THE STORY.

According to THIS STORY,

The president of Ferrari gave a Formula One steering wheel as a symbolic gift to Benedict XVI, the "pilot of Christianity."

Luca Cordero di Montezemolo, who is also president of the FIAT Italian car company, on Monday gave the Pope a check for €950,000 ($1.1 million), which the Holy Father will allocate to charitable works.

Attending Monday’s audience were Ferrari executives, including Piero Ferrari, the founder’s son and vice president of the firm.

"The F1 steering wheel of the champion of the world, for Your Holiness Benedict XVI, pilot of Christianity," read the message on the gift given to the Pope.

"It is very complicated, Holiness," explained Montezemolo, referring to the difficulty of steering a racing car. Joking, the Pope noted the "complexity" of guiding the Church.

Y’know, given the traditional papal attire, the pope is a MAN IN WHITE.

In light of this story, I just can’t help wondering if he’s also a fan of

THE MAN IN BLACK.

A BIG CHT to the reader who sent THIS!

Pope to change D&D cosmology

Vatican City (Reuters): The Pope is set to abolish the concept of Limbo, overturning a belief held by Dungeons & Dragons players since Gary Gygax first described the cosmology of the game in the Players Handbook in 1978.

Limbo has long been held by the Catholic Church to be the place where the souls of children go if they die before they can be baptised, as well as the source of the chaotic neutral alignment and home of the Slaadi. However, a 30-strong international commission of theologians summoned by the late John Paul II last year to come up with a "more coherent and illuminating" doctrine in tune with the modern age is to present its findings to Pope Benedict XVI on Friday.

Vatican sources said yesterday that the commission would recommend that Limbo be replaced by the more "compassionate" doctrine that all children who die do so "in the hope of eternal salvation", rather than the traditionally held belief that their souls suffer eternal deprivations at the hands of the Slaadi and their demented lords Ssendam and Ygorl.

What this change in theology will do for the millions of Dungeons & Dragons players across the world is not yet clear. . . .

That’s JUST the beginning, so . . .

GET THE STORY!