Worst eBay Auction Ever

Okay.

Recently the worst eBay auction EVER was conducted.

I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want other folks linking to it.

I don’t want other folks linking to it because it will only popularize the idea and give ideas to others who might be inclined to do the same thing, which would result in further desecrations (which right there ought to tell an educated Catholic what someone sold on eBay).

Incidentally, in case folks are wondering, for a Catholic to procure the subject of an auction of this nature would incur automatic excommunication reserved to the Holy See. This did not apply to the person who conducted the auction in question–apparently–because he is not a Catholic and thus not a subject of canon law, though God will show him the error of his ways in the end.

UPDATE: I should clarify that the excommunication would not apply to one purchasing the auction item for purposes of protecting it from desecration. Canon law restricts the excommunication to those taking or retaining such an item "for a profane purpose." Protecting it from sacrilege is the opposite of a profane purpose.

It seems to me that there is little chance of getting eBay to not list auction items like this because, while they are extremely offensive, they are not illegal, and eBay has a policy allowing offensive things as long as they are not illegal.

That being said, if folks want to contact eBay to demand that they change this policy, great. Good luck. I hope it works.

I do not, however, recommend that folks e-mail all their friends, e-mail their newsgroups, blog about it, post about it on their web sites, etc. I know that’s all happening right now, and it’s understandable. I’ve had multiple people e-mail me the last few days with the story. (Cowboy hat tip to them.) However, in my judgment it is better if folks go quiet on this one.

In fact, that’s the reason I’ve decided to blog the silence recommendation–because I know it’s being furiously e-mailed all around the Catholic corner of the Internet right now.

The more talk about it there is, the more it will get in front of the eyes of juvenile malefactors who would want to do the same thing simply to honk off devout Catholics and get their jollies on a feeling of naughty sacrilege.

(If you want to disagree with me in the combox about the silence recommendation, fine, but kindly refrain from mentioning explicitly what it is we’re talking about.)

That Symbol

Sede_vacante A reader writes:

I recently read an article about the stamps the Vatican has issued for the Sede Vacante and they, along with the images on the Vatican web site have me a bit confused. The feature the gold and silver keys to Heaven and Hell, which I understand, and something that looks all the world to me like an umbrella. What is this and what is it’s sympolism with regards to the Sede Vacante. Thanks.

From what I can tell, this symbol (as a whole, the umbrella and the keys) seems to be the arms of the camerlengo (chamberlain) who governs the Vatican in the interregnum between popes.

The keys, of course, represent the "keys of the kingdom" given by Jesus to Peter in Matthew 16:19:

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

NEAT STUFF ON BINDING AND LOOSING HERE.

They thus symbolize the camerlengo’s connection to the pope.

The umbrella-lookin’ thing is called (brace yourself for a shock!) an umbracullum, which means what it sounds like.

Originally these were carried by attendants to shade royalty from the sun, and popes started using them too. (Wikipedia says because it symbolized the temporal power of the papacy of the day, but I think it also had something to do with popes getting hot.)

MORE INFO ON PAPAL SYMBOLS.

MORE INFO ON THE UMBRACULLUM.

Happy Birthday, Jack Chick!

JackchickI’d completely forgotten, but today is Jack Chick’s birthday!

Yee-Haw!!! Happy Birthday, Jack!!!

Yes, Jack Chick was born April 13, 1924, so he’s 81 years old today. (And it’s not just Wikipedia that says so; I checked some research I did on him, online here.)

Interestingly, Wikipedia’s article on him is heavily dependent on things I’ve written about Chick (I guess there aren’t that many Chick researchers out there), though it doesn’t realize the extent to which it is since a major piece it links (which it calls "Expose on Jack Chick") didn’t carry my byline.

It also has my drawing of Chick. (Will have to think about whether I want to let Wikipedia use that as I am the copyright holder. Probably don’t mind if they put in my copyright notice and say "used by permission.")

Anyway, happy birthday to the world’s cheesiest anti-Catholic!

Many happy returns, Jack!

(Cowboy hat tip to the reader woh e-mailed.)

Enterprise To Get Spiked?

ArcherI know what you’re thinking: "It already has been!"

Yes, it’s true.

Star Trek Enterprise has been spiked in the sense that it’s been cancelled after its fourth season (when it finally got really worth watching).

As Larry Niven would say: "TANJ!" (There Ain’t No Justice.)

There’s only a few new episodes left before the series goes where four Star Trek series have gone before.

Well, Enterprise may get spiked in another sense.

TURNS OUT THAT SPIKE TV IS INTERESTED IN POSSIBLY PICKING UP THE SERIES FOR A FIFTH SEASON.

Fans may want to contact Spike.

I’ve never watched Spike TV before, but if they pick up Enterprise, I’d tune in to check out their version of the show.

Favorite Comment In A Long Time!

In the combox for the Famous Liger Post (which continues to get hits from Google every day from what I can tell), a schoolgirl writes:

i love ligers all my techers said they did not egist……but now i have proof!!!

Thanks for making my day with my favorite comment in a long time!

Go show those teachers!

Be careful how you express your fondness for ligers, though. It’s better to admire them from a distance for safety reasons.

UG-leeeee!

Naked_mole_ratHooo-EEEEE!

Man!

That thing will break mirrors, won’t it!

This here critter is a naked mole rat, as you may know, and it has been voted one of the top 10 ugliest animals on LiveScience.Com.

Personally, I don’t agree with all the votes.

In fact, the contest has an INEXPLICABLE omission: It left out the ugliest critter of all time, the sanity-shattering STAR-NOSED MOLE.

Nevertheless, there’s some critters over at LiveScience.Com whose visages will curdle milk, make paint peel, and send small children scurrying away in fright.

AMBLE BY AND GAWK AT THEM!

The Funeral Of John Paul II

A reader writes:

I know you will appreciate having a copy of the official Vatican program for the Funeral Mass and Burial Rites for Pope John Paul II. I have attached to this e-mail a PDF format of the official program. It is in two files. The program includes everything–including the "non-public" rites celebrated inside St. Peter’s Basilica just before and just after the public rites outside in the square.

I definitely do appreciate it! It’s a fascinating read (though it is in Latin and Italian). Having these available is a great good.

MASS1.PDF

MASS2.PDF

Only thing I’m not sure about is the file format. I think St. Paul was pretty firm on rejecting the idea that we should use evil file formats that good may result. ;-D

Telegraph Road

One of the sub-sets of modern music that I enjoy is that of historical songs, or songs that reference history in neat ways. Gordon Lightfoot’s Edmund Fitzgerald is good, but his Canadian Railroad Trilogy will make the little hairs stand up on your neck. Al Stewart has some good ones, as well as The Band and others.

So I’m driving around in my SUV (168,000 miles and counting!) and listening to Dire Straits playing Telegraph Road and I look up and notice that I am driving on our very own "Old Wire Road". It runs brokenly through about 3 counties here locally and is obviously, well, old. It is the road that ran along the original telegraph route through these parts, and runs smack past a Civil War battlefield, also. The Dire Straits song is about another telegraph road, around Detroit, and the changes it brings to the generations that grow up around it. Mark Knopfler’s worn-leather voice and lyrics hauntingly capture the emptiness of blind progress, and he can also play guitar like crazy.

Some pictures and info about the road, the song and how Mr. Knopfler was inspired to write it, can be found HERE.

He Gave Us Dragons

H. P. Lovecraft writes:

THE OLDEST and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. These facts few psychologists will dispute, and their admitted truth must establish for all time the genuineness and dignity of the weirdly horrible tale as a literary form. Against it are discharged all the shafts of a materialistic sophistication which clings to frequently felt emotions and external events, and of a naïvely insipid idealism which deprecates the æsthetic motive and calls for a didactic literature to "uplift" the reader toward a suitable degree of smirking optimism. But in spite of all this opposition the weird tale has survived, developed, and attained remarkable heights of perfection; founded as it is on a profound and elementary principle whose appeal, if not always universal, must necessarily be poignant and permanent to minds of the requisite sensitiveness.

This is from Lovecraft’s monograph Supernatural Horror In Literature, which is considered the seminal 20th century treatment on the subject. In it, he surveys many masters of the macabre in the centuries and decades up to his time.

I don’t agree with him that fear is the oldest or strongest emotion or that fear of the unknown in particular is. I think mankind came into this word (whether you buy evolutionary accounts or not) with a robust set of emotions, no one of which predominates the others.

That being said, fear is a powerful, primal emotion, and fear of the unknown is one of its major expressions.

That is a sufficient reason for horror stories being popular despite the efforts of those who would cramp literature down into just those forms of naive realism that would seek to uplift all readers into "smirking optimism." (Gotta love that phrase.)

God gave the human imagination dragons, whether as symbols of actual or fanciful evils, and as Lovecraft points out in his monograph, the weirdly horrible has haunted human literature since its dim beginnings in primitive folklore. It’s part of the human psyche, and nothing is going to change that.

One of my own theories is that we like such literature for the same reason that kittens and puppies wrestle with each other and that boys play mock combat games: It’s a way of preparing ourselves psychologically when we may have to face horrible dangers, a way of experiencing such situations in a safe way (think: holodeck with the safeties on) so that we will be psychologically prepared for them when we face terrible real-life situations with the safeties off. To prep us for these, we have an inbuilt drive that makes us want to "play" dangerous situations so that we have something to fall back on when we encounter them for real.

When we’re young, we physicalize this through play. When we’re older, we internalize it through literature. But it’s the same phenomenon.

We may never encounter in real life the specific dangers we read about in horror stories or thrillers. Cthulhu is, after all, fiction. But there are things in the world just as evil and–to us as individuals–just as deadly as Cthulhu.

Better to have some experience of such evils in a simulator than to face them cold.

GET THE STORIES.

Uncle Sam Wants Your Child

… in the public-school system, that is:

"One day after jazz band practice, 14-year-old Peter Wilson’s band teacher pulled him aside.

"The instructor wanted to know whether Peter, who is home-schooled alongside his three brothers, liked being taught by his mother, and why he didn’t come to public school full-time, instead of just for music.

"The teacher seemed uncomfortable bringing it up, and the conversation was brief, Peter said. When he got home, he told his parents.

"Mark and Teckla Wilson, who are raising their four sons in Mark Wilson’s roomy childhood home in this former timber town, soon found out to their annoyance that the teacher’s questions were part of an effort by the Myrtle Point school district to persuade home-schooling families to give the public system a shot."

GET THE STORY.

(Nod to Crowhill for the link.)