What’s In A Maiden Name?

Rather than wax philosophical on Christian feminism, which I may do at some point but not right now, I thought it would be fun to look at an interesting conundrum within the overall issue. Concrete dilemmas are usually more intriguing than abstract philosophies anyway.

So, you’re an orthodox Catholic woman who is getting married soon. Do you have to change your surname to your husband’s surname? Given the Church’s silence on the issue, some might shrug their shoulders and say it’s a matter of personal choice. You’d be surprised though how many heated debates I’ve seen in cyberspace over the issue. A good many orthodox Catholics react to the suggestion of a Christian woman keeping her own surname as if they’d nearly stumbled over a snake — quite likely the one that tempted Eve, at that.

The subject came to mind for me when reading the thoughts of Karen Miller, an Orthodox Jewish blogger. Ms. Miller referenced a 2004 article by Slate on the maiden name debate that I also found interesting. Most interesting of all, for me at least, is that many proponents of name change and many dissenters from name change appear to assume that the standards of the English-speaking world prevail the world over.  They also apparently assume that the practice of a woman keeping her own name is only thirty-or-so years old. 

Fact is, the maiden name debate is a cultural phenomenon in the English-speaking world. In some parts of the world, it is a complete non-issue. For example, in Spanish-speaking countries, women do not give up their family names because the family name is considered an important identification with one’s heritage. In addition to that, the children are given both the father’s and mother’s family names. And, this custom is quite ancient. Indeed we have a sixteenth-century Catholic saint to attest to it:

St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582) was born Teresa Sanchez Cepeda Davila y Ahumada, named for her father Alonso Sanchez de Cepeda and her mother Beatriz Davila y Ahumada.

As for me, I haven’t faced the decision yet. Should I one day (hopefully) marry, I would choose to take my husband’s name. I like the idea of a family being known by one name, and in our culture that name has been traditionally the man’s. Of course, if his last name is one he’s always hated for one reason or another (e.g., embarrassing connotation, difficult to spell or pronounce), he may ask to take my surname….

Don't Despair After Business Hours

On Prince Edward Island, Canada, it is only advisable to despair between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M., Monday thru Friday. After business hours and on weekends, you’re going to be on your own:

"A Canadian province will shut its 24-hour suicide hotline and replace it with one that operates only during business hours.

"Prince Edward Island, a small province on Canada’s East Coast, says it is too expensive to operate the hotline around the clock. Starting June 1, it will be open only between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday.

"The plan drew protest from mental health groups across the country on Wednesday.

"’How many times, when you get upset or worried or concerned about things, is it in the middle of the day? It’s usually at 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning when you wake up,’ said Joan Wright, executive director of the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention based in Edmonton, Alberta."

GET THE STORY.

You would think the numbers-crunchers on Prince Edward Island could have cut some other non-critical service enough to use that money to keep the suicide hotline open 24/7. But, then, common sense doesn’t appear to have played a factor in this decision.

Don’t Despair After Business Hours

On Prince Edward Island, Canada, it is only advisable to despair between 9 A.M. and 5 P.M., Monday thru Friday. After business hours and on weekends, you’re going to be on your own:

"A Canadian province will shut its 24-hour suicide hotline and replace it with one that operates only during business hours.

"Prince Edward Island, a small province on Canada’s East Coast, says it is too expensive to operate the hotline around the clock. Starting June 1, it will be open only between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday.

"The plan drew protest from mental health groups across the country on Wednesday.

"’How many times, when you get upset or worried or concerned about things, is it in the middle of the day? It’s usually at 3 or 4 o’clock in the morning when you wake up,’ said Joan Wright, executive director of the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention based in Edmonton, Alberta."

GET THE STORY.

You would think the numbers-crunchers on Prince Edward Island could have cut some other non-critical service enough to use that money to keep the suicide hotline open 24/7. But, then, common sense doesn’t appear to have played a factor in this decision.

Baby Girl Remus

In a modern-day version of the childhood of Rome’s legendary founding twins Romulus and Remus, an abandoned baby girl in Kenya was saved by a stray dog who found her and brought her back to the dog’s own litter. Soon thereafter the child was found by neighborhood children who heard her crying.

"The 7-pound, 4-ounce infant was taken to a hospital and ‘is doing well, responding to treatment. She is stable … she is on antibiotics,’ said Hannah Gakuo, spokeswoman of the Kenyatta National Hospital.

"The baby was found after two children reported hearing an infant’s cries near their wood and corrugated metal shack.

"’I followed them outside and we started looking around the compound and a nearby plot,’ said Mary Adhiambo, the children’s mother.

"They eventually found the tan mixed-breed dog lying protectively with a puppy beside the mud-splattered baby wrapped in a torn black shirt, Adhiambo said. The short-haired dog with light brown eyes has no name, residents said."

GET THE STORY.

Is There A Pilot In The House?

Not a question you want to hear during your flight.

"A passenger was forced to crash land a private plane Thursday after the pilot suffered an apparent heart attack, authorities said.

"The pilot later died. The two passengers were taken to University Medical Center in Las Vegas after the crash at North Las Vegas Airport, said Donn Walker, regional spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration."

GET THE STORY.

It’s stories like this that make me realize that I have been on only two airline trips in my life (both times were pre-9/11); and while I’m not exactly opposed to flying, I am also not exactly eager to book passage for the sometimes-unfriendly skies.

Mothers Day, Flowers, and 1-800-FLOWERS

I’d just like to offer a thought for those to whom it may apply.

Mother’s Day is almost here, and it would be a nice thing for folks who are privileged enough to have their mothers still alive to do something for them for Mother’s Day, such as send them flowers. It’s a good way to honor the woman who brought you into this world.

I’d also like to recommend that, if you choose to send flowers, you do not patronize 1-800-FLOWERS.

1-800-FLOWERS is an entity that has a remarkably noxious marketing practice. Frankly, their marketers need to be fired.

If you sign up with 1-800-FLOWERS they will blast constant e-mail offers to you until you tell them to stop. You do not have the option (unless I missed it) of unchecking a "Please send me e-mail offers" box when you register. From what I can tell, they enjoy blasting e-mails indiscriminately to everyone who has ever used their service until such time as the put-upon customer tells them to knock it off.

Thus their "Remove Me" page (which requires you to send a separate e-mail to get removed) states: "You received this email because you are a 1-800-FLOWERS.COM customer." It does not say "You received this email because you signed up for it."

Their marketers are also appalling insensitive.

Given the reality of human life, many of their customers are unfortunate enough to have lost their mothers. Some have lost them at tragically young ages. Some even lost them immediately before, on, or after Mother’s Day, making it doubly painful for them.

It is therefore viciously heartless to send e-spams, such as the one I received this morning, with headlines like:

Stop dilly-dallying! Mother’s Day Weekend is here!

This was apparently sent to individuals who have not taken them up on their REPEATED previous Mothers Day spams and thus, in the judgment of 1-800-FLOWERS, are "dilly-dallying" and thus delinquent in respect of their duty to honor their mothers.

It gets worse.

If you read the text of the spam, it develops the theme that you have done something wrong, harkening back to when your mom scolded you for "dilly-dallying" and then promising "Shop now (yes, now) [sic] and we’ll keep all this last minute shopping stuff just between us."

This is signed by someone named "Jim McCann," who should be thoroughly ashamed of himself.

1-800-FLOWERS thus has a marketing strategy of indiscriminately blasting out spam to their customers so that their customers can be insulted at what is for many a painful time of the year.

I therefore recommend that you give your business to someone other than 1-800-FLOWERS. For example, you might try

WWW.PROFLOWERS.COM

Also, if you are of a mind to, you might want to drop the folks at 1-800-FLOWERS a note concerning their marketing policy, particularly if you are a victim of it yourself.

HERE’S THE ADDRESS: custservice@reply.1800flowers.com

UPDATE: It appears that Jim McCann’s e-mail address is jmccann@1800flowers.com. You might want to carbon him, too.

Worst eBay Auction Ever

Okay.

Recently the worst eBay auction EVER was conducted.

I’m not going to link to it because I don’t want other folks linking to it.

I don’t want other folks linking to it because it will only popularize the idea and give ideas to others who might be inclined to do the same thing, which would result in further desecrations (which right there ought to tell an educated Catholic what someone sold on eBay).

Incidentally, in case folks are wondering, for a Catholic to procure the subject of an auction of this nature would incur automatic excommunication reserved to the Holy See. This did not apply to the person who conducted the auction in question–apparently–because he is not a Catholic and thus not a subject of canon law, though God will show him the error of his ways in the end.

UPDATE: I should clarify that the excommunication would not apply to one purchasing the auction item for purposes of protecting it from desecration. Canon law restricts the excommunication to those taking or retaining such an item "for a profane purpose." Protecting it from sacrilege is the opposite of a profane purpose.

It seems to me that there is little chance of getting eBay to not list auction items like this because, while they are extremely offensive, they are not illegal, and eBay has a policy allowing offensive things as long as they are not illegal.

That being said, if folks want to contact eBay to demand that they change this policy, great. Good luck. I hope it works.

I do not, however, recommend that folks e-mail all their friends, e-mail their newsgroups, blog about it, post about it on their web sites, etc. I know that’s all happening right now, and it’s understandable. I’ve had multiple people e-mail me the last few days with the story. (Cowboy hat tip to them.) However, in my judgment it is better if folks go quiet on this one.

In fact, that’s the reason I’ve decided to blog the silence recommendation–because I know it’s being furiously e-mailed all around the Catholic corner of the Internet right now.

The more talk about it there is, the more it will get in front of the eyes of juvenile malefactors who would want to do the same thing simply to honk off devout Catholics and get their jollies on a feeling of naughty sacrilege.

(If you want to disagree with me in the combox about the silence recommendation, fine, but kindly refrain from mentioning explicitly what it is we’re talking about.)

Role-Playing Games

A reader writes:

I enjoy it when you blog about role playing games, comic books, etc.  During my high school days, I played AD&D and the Warhammer table top game with my friends.  I recall that some Evangelical Christians had a problem with role playing games in general and with AD&D in particular.  But since that was before my conversion, I payed them little heed.

During my conversion, which was heavily influenced by Evangelical Protestants, I came to the realization that much of what I believed was wrong.  Although the subject never came up, I suspect that my Protestant friends would have discouraged me from playing RPGs.  Since my conversion I haven’t played them at all, except for the computer variety, nor do I talk about them with my newer Catholic friends.

So here, finally, are my questions:

1.  When the topic of the "danger" of RPGs was hot, do you happen to know if any Orthodox Catholic leaders at the time commented on it?

I don’t know of any, but then I wasn’t Catholic back then, either. I was maybe just discovering Christ at the time all that was the rage. It seems to me, though, that Evangelicals went in much more for then anti-RPG stuff than Catholics did, though I am quite sure that you can find some Catholics who are overly concerned with "demonic influences" that would diss the whole concept.

2.  If someone did come to you and say that you shouldn’t be playing (or blogging about) RPGs, how would you structure your counter argument?

My defense of blogging about them would be completely different than a defense I would mount concerning playing them. Blogging is simply another form of talking or commenting, and there are no topics on which it is intrinsically taboo to even comment. The question is what is the quality of the contents: Do they accurately reflect the nature of the thing commented about? Do they have a tendency to steer folks toward a correct or an incorrect appraisal of the thing commented upon.

As to the subject of playing RPGs, the instinct to play is built into human nature. God means us to do it. He also built us so that we enjoy stories and coming up with imaginative, fantastic scenarios. All of these are in principle healthy and can play an ennobling role in human life and culture (as in, e.g., The Lord of the Rings trilogy). Given the God-given impulses to play and imagination, there is no in principle barrier to Role-Playing Games.

If a person wants to attack Role-Playing Games, then, he’s going to need to come up with a reason that focuses on the evils of an individual RPG rather than RPGs as a group. Presumably, that argument would be directed to the content of a particular game.

In this regard, the game merely having fantasy content would not be enough. If the content of The Lord of the Rings were the same, it would make no difference whether people experience it by reading it, watching it on screen, or playing it as a game. Merely the fantasy content of the work is not enough to make it illicit.

On the other hand, one might mount an argument that the content of a particular game is sufficiently morally problematic that it should not be indulged in. This argument may succeed in many particular cases. The way many D&D worlds are run, the characters regularly engage in immoral behavior in a way that has a deleterious moral effect on their players. (As the game designer Steve Jackson has pointed out, The average party of player-characters, incidentally, considers itself to be lawful good and is actually chaotic neutral.)

There are many individual  games that I would not participate in due to moral repugnance, and so I concede the potential force of the argument, but I note that it applies only to particular games  and not to the concept of Role-Playing Games as a whole.

Who can morally participate in what games will depend on the nature of the game and the dispositions and  moral fortitude of the player. Different people have different temptations, and one ought to stay out of games that foster one’s temptations.

One also might make an argument (as some back during the anti-RPG days did) that RPGs encourage obsessive behavior on the part of players. I would challenge this and say that young males (the majority of RPG players) tend to have obsessive behavior whether they are playing RPGs or not. While it is true that one can devote so much time to this hobby that it competes with other things one ought to be doing (e.g., meeting girls), that is true of any hobby and thus constitutes no objection to RPGs in particular. RPGs have no particular hyponotizing power that is lacked by girls or movies or TV or the Internet or girls or comic books or iPods or girls or popular music or cars or girls or hunting or fishing or girls or duelling or moonshine or girls or any of the countless other things young men have obsessed about in the present or the past.

3.  Do you have any related thoughts about the same subject, applied to books and movies (Harry Potter, etc)?

Bwahhh! You have just asked a question too broad to be answered in blog format. In principle, all of these forms of entertainment are fine of a mature person who is secure in his Catholic faith and not subject to usual temptations. The mere presence of fantasy content does not disqualify them. However, the moral content is important, and not all works are suited for all sudiences, particularly when children are involved.

MORE HERE.

Persona a persona

As someone who does freelance editing and who writes business letters in the course of my daily work, there are few things that tick me off more as an editor and writer than a poorly-composed business letter.  A well-composed, thoughtful letter can persuade; a sloppy letter can close hearts and minds.

SAMPLE BUSINESS LETTER.

As a grumpy editor and writer, I picked out about five stylistic points that would have had me winging this letter back to its composer with marks for change.  However, I’ll grant bragging rights to the commenter who can spot the number-one error in this letter that is intended to plead a very important case.

Two hints: One, it’s not a matter of content.  Two, check out the title of this post.

(Nod to Bill Cork of Ut Unum Sint.)

Distance Doctorates?

A reader writes:

I currently have been looking online for a possible distance learning "accredited" Phd/doctorate program in theology. Can anyone point me in the right direction of a credible source?

For one here in the U.S., not really, but see below.

I have looked at a few. For example, Liberty University has a doctorate program and claims to be accredited by the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools. Is this a legitimate accreditation?

Yes, it is. The Southern Association of Colleges and Schools is one of the major regional U.S. accreditors. I also checked the CHEA database, and they are there (see below).

Finally by whom should a distance learning program be accredited by in order to have any legitimacy?

It depends on what country one is in. In most countries, accreditation is carried out directly by the government and there are few diploma mills. Here in the U.S., it doesn’t work quite that way. The major accreditors are private institutions, but anyone listed by the Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA) is a safe bet. In fact, some places (like the state of Michigan) use the CHEA database as a test of whether a degree will be honored for employment purposes and exclude schools that aren’t under the CHEA umbrella (WARNING! Evil file format [.pdf]!).

p.s. Is there a link or website where I can look up the names of universities to see if they are accredited by a credible educational institution?

Sure, you can

CHECK THE CHEA DATABASE.

Now, a few further thoughts:

  1. I can’t recommend that you go with Liberty University as they are a Southern Baptist School. A doctorate in theology from such a place will cut absolutely no mustard in Catholic circles. Doctorates in other things, like biblical languages or biblical studies, might, but theology, no.
  2. I don’t think distance education has matured to the point that many accredited institutions (particularly Catholic ones) feel comfortable offering doctoral degrees at a distance. We may get to that point some day, but we ain’t there yet. That’s why such things are so hard to find.
  3. I can mention one place that you might want to investigate that offers a distance doctorate at least somewhat along these lines: The Maryvale Institute in Birmingham (the one in England, not Alabama) offers a doctorate in Catholic Studies. This is a research degree and not a PhD in theology. They are accredited through the UK’s Open University, if I am not mistaken.
  4. The real acme degree in Catholic circles is not a PhD in theology but an STD. That’s not as horrible as it sounds (it stands for Doctor of Sacred Theology). Such degrees are awared only at schools that have Vatican approval to offer them, and I am sure that none of these schools presently offers a distance STD. It probably will be a long time before any do, though other doctorates in related fields may still cut a good bit of mustard.
  5. When looking at accreditation issues, one has to look at look not only at the school but at the program. Some schools are accredited to offer certain degrees but not others. Make sure to inquire about whether the degree you’re after is accredited and by whom.
  6. You also sometimes have to look at the government. Accreditation by some governments may not be worth much internationally.

Hope this helps!

LEARN MORE ABOUT ACCREDITATION.