Month: June 2005

A reader writes:

Has the Church given a moral teaching on Viagra and other similar drugs? It seems to raise sex beyond it’s sacredness.

The Magisterium has not said anything specific about viagra or similar drugs to my knowledge, but its attitude toward such drugs would be positive provided certain conditions are met.

Overcoming physical evils is the purpose of all medicines, and the Church regards this as praiseworthy provided moral goods or comparable physical goods are not thwarted.

Viagra and similar drugs are meant to overcome the physical evil of impotence, and so the Church’s general regard for medicines–and its general cautions about them–will apply.

If the drugs perform their intended function of helping to alleviate male impotence (a humiliating reality that I’m given to understand the great majority of men suffer at one time or another), then all things being equal they would be praiseworthy.

They would not be praiseworthy if all things are not equal. F’rinstance:

• If the drug causes the guy’s blood pressure to skyrocket, putting him at risk of a stroke.
• If it causes his heart to beat wildly, putting him at risk of cardiac arrest or other heart-related ailment.
• If it causes other alarming and/or embarrassing side effects that aren’t compensated for by what it does for his conjugal life (e.g., the rare, uncontrollable four-hour period of tumescence that you hear about in commercials for some drugs–though not Viagra specifically).
• If it causes the guy to be so inflamed with passion that he can’t keep his mind on his wife and he is driven crazy by every woman he sees.
• If it is used not to correct for impotence but for purposes of leading a wanton and irresponsible sex life (possibly extra-marital, possibly contraceptive).

(NOTE: This list is not exhaustive but illustrative.)

If the latter kinds of conditions apply then use of such drugs would not be praiseworthy, but then if any drug had comparable side effects its use would not be praiseworthy.

If such drugs are used, however, to correct for impotence and side-effects of the above-mentioned kind are not present for a particular individual then its use is morally non-problematic and the drug may play a useful role in building the union of the two spouses.

Now, just for the sake of completeness (and heading off questions folks might want to ask as follow-ups), let’s kick it down a notch.

What if we aren’t talking about pharmaceuticals but something weaker. What if we’re only talking about what in human society have commonly passed as aphrodisiacs?

I don’t know if there are any genuinely effective aphrodisiacs. My suspicion is that most of them that have been suggested in human history have simply be snake oil and have no effect beyond that of a placebo (not that the placebo effect is entirely to be discounted). I know that there are some nutritional supplements for which claims are made in this regard, though I don’t know if any are actually effective.

But suppose some are?

Again, it seems to me that the moral status of using such substances will depend on the way in which they are used:

• If they are used to overcome impotence or frigidity then their moral status will be evaluated in the same way as the drugs dealt with above.
• If they are used to enhance the experience of conjugal union then they would seem not in principle different than other things that enhance the experience (perfume, etc., etc.).
• If they are used, though, so as to engage in marital (or non-marital!) relations more wantonly and irresponsibly then their use will be sinful.

So it seems to me that all of these things–from Viagra-like drugs to more traditional aphrodisiacs–may potentially play a role in reinforcing and assisting the conjugal relationship that exists between husband and wife, but they may also be abused and used in imprudent and even sinful ways.

A reader writes:

Would it be a sin for me to marry (in a Catholic church) my zealous Calvinist boyfriend, who thinks the Catholc church is anti-Christ?

(I was a Calvinist myself, so I’m immuned to their arguments and attempts to convert me.  Plus, he will love me like Christ loves the Church and teach the kids about Christ better than most Catholic men, who are usually lukewarm about their religion.)

The Catholic Church allows marriages to non-Catholics in special circumstances, and if those circumstances apply then contracting such a marriage would not be sinful. The conditions specifically named in the Code of Canon Law are:

Can.  1125 The local ordinary can grant a
permission of this kind [i.e., for marriages between a Catholic and a non-Catholic Christian] if there is a just and reasonable cause. He is not to
grant it unless the following conditions have been fulfilled:

1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she
is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a
sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are
baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an
appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in
such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and
obligation of the Catholic party;

3/ both parties are to be instructed about the
purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting
parties is to exclude.

The conditions named in sections 1-3 of this canon are excluding conditions (i.e., the bishop is not to grant permission for such a wedding unless they are fulfilled), but one should not ignore the implicit requirement of "a just and reasonable cause" that is found in the opening section of the canon.

What counts as a just and reasonable cause is not defined and is left up to the discretion of the local ordinary, but it seems to me that a likely construction of this condition would be "The Catholic party does not have reasonable prospects of finding a Catholic marriage partner of comparable quality to the non-Catholic partner, taking into account the negatives that the non-Catholic brings to the prospective union."

In practice, I think it somewhat unlikely that local ordinaries will think through the condition in precisely that way because they usually do not have enough information about the private life of the Catholic parties appealing to them for permission to make a determination of that nature, but it strikes me that Catholic parties contemplating such unions should be asking themselves if they have this kind of cause.

In other words: Do they lack realistic prospects of being able to marry a Catholic of comparable quality to the non-Catholic they are contemplating, taking into account the negatives that the non-Catholic would bring to the relationship. If it is true that they really lack such prospects then the Church would not presume it to be a sin to marry such an individual, the other conditions named above being observed (i.e., the ones named in sections 1-3).

If the Catholic party does not have the kind of cause just named (i.e., the Catholic party does have reasonable prospects of marrying a Catholic of comparable quality, even if it means waiting a little longer to find one) then it seems to me that marrying the non-Catholic party would, at a minimum, be imprudent and, possibly, sinful.

Things get worse if the excluding conditions are not met or are undermined by the non-Catholic spouse. For example, if it is foreseen that the non-Catholic spouse would seek to undermine the faith of the Catholic or would insisting on contracepting in the marriage then it seems to me that it would be sinful to marry the person.

I also could not personally expose my children to having a parent who was a zealous non-Catholic. It would be one thing if a proposed non-Catholic spouse said "I’m not Catholic, but I have no problem at all with your raising the children as Catholics; I want them to have a religious upbringing, and I respect the Catholic Church" but it would be ENTIRELY another thing if the proposed spouse said, "I think the Catholic Church is anti-Christ, I don’t think Catholics are Christians, and I intend to see that my children are raised to believe in Christ as I understand him."

Even if my own faith was secure (and one should not too quickly dimiss the corrosive effect of decades of subtle efforts at undermining one’s faith–particularly at moments when the Church is asking you to do something hard), I could never expose children of mine to such an environment.

I personally cannot recommend marrying non-Catholic individuals in anything but quite unusual circumstances. I have experience in such a union (only I was the zealous Calvinist at the time), and from my experience mixed marriages always involve pain unless neither party is really serious about their religion.

• If both care about their religion then they will both be pained by the fact that the other party does not share it.
• If one cares about his religion then he will be pained by the fact the other does not share it–and the other may be reciprocally annoyed, dismayed, or otherwise negatively affected by the pain the first spouse has.
• Only if neither is really serious about religion is pain avoided, which no doubt explains why in many mixed marriages both parties give up the serious practice of religion–it’s a way of avoiding the pain that comes with taking religion seriously and realizing that the person with whom you are most intimate in this life does not have the true religion. Many thus slide into dissent, indifferentism, or stop going altogether.

After the experience of my own marriage–which was very successful but still involved pain because my wife was Catholic and I was not–I resolved that I would simply not marry anyone who was not Catholic. I want marriage to be what it is meant to be in God’s design, which includes both spouses sharing the true faith. I will not settle for marrying anyone other than a Catholic woman who is solid in her faith. (Of course, I also have to find one willing to put up with me, but that’s another question.)

I suggest that you consider adopting a similar attitude. There are good Catholic guys out there in your age group (whatever that may be), and the Internet is making it easier all the time to find them if it’s hard turning them up in your area.

You might try AveMariaSingles.Com or similar services.

Hope this helps!

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