Category: Photo Captions

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Starting caption:

1) Brightly-Colored Comforter Eats Woman!

2) Something You Can Do When You’re In Bed And Someone Comes To The Door.

3) LATEST SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY: Russian Fashions Even Worse Than Italian Fashions

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Starting caption:

Mashed Potato Ball Sparks Interspecies Conflict

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Starting Captions:

1) MultipleMaid Dusts Off Her Hands After Defeating Her Arch-Nemesis, The Singularity.

2) Siamese Septendecimtuplets

3) "We Represent The Lullaby League, The Lullaby League, The Lullaby League"

4) Amazing Cloning Breakthrough!

5) Bowling for Dancers

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Starting captions:

1) Braincamera Exposes Shocking Geek Daydreams

2) Wheelchair Designs Star Trek Rejected.

3) "You Will Bow Down Before Me! You Will!"

4) Supervillain ChicGeek

5) How To Make A Dramatic Entrance At Parties

6) How To Lose Friends And Influence With People

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Starting captions:

1) Alternate Histories: When The British Empire Was Based In Thailand

2) Conehead Invasion Fleet Attempts Feeble Disguise

3) Military Uniforms To Make Your Opponents Double-Over In Laughter

4) White Gloves: What Every Soldier Needs In Battle

5) Military Can-Can Lines

6) Soldiers Angered By Shortage Of Well-Fitting Chin-Straps Storm Palace

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NOTE: The Swiss apparently think that "decorating" trees in this way creates a Christmas atmosphere (see source).

Starting captions:

1) Christmas in Grinchland.

2) Thought Crime: Thought Police Arrest and Jail Neurons

3) Genetic Engineering Gone Wild: Scientists Cross Zebras With Trees

4) Monk Decides To TP His Neighbor’s Yard

5) Barcodes: Now You Can Purchase Everything!

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Starting captions:

1) Yes, Thai food is sometimes too hot.

2) Godzilla cult takes to the street.

3) Celebrating bad breath.

4) How the Great Chicago Fire started.

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NOTE: This is actually a giant stone head from a statue of the Roman Emperor Marcus Julius Philippus–a.k.a., Philip the Arab–who ruled in the mid 200s. The head dates from his time and was recently (this October) found in a shipwreck off Corsica. Philip had a policy of toleration toward Christians and was said by some (including Eusebius) to have been the first Christian emperor (perhaps secretly? SEE HERE FOR MORE INFO).

Still, that’s no reason we can’t make fun of this picture!

Starting captions:

1) Easter Island’s Realist Phase

2) Stone Man Buried In Sand By Stone Children

3) World’s Biggest Bookend

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Starting captions:

1) "Honey, We Shrunk Our Geneticists!" . . . Tiny Geneticists Make Corrections To Base-Pair DNA Damage

2) "97 . . . 98 . . . 99 . . . Okay. We have the 99 red balloons for that Nena song."

3) Corpuscles from King Kong Papercut Overwhelm Hong Kong Paramedics.

4) Balloon drops at Communist Party rallies.

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Starting captions:

1) Having Hypnotized His Next Victim, Count Macaw Prepares To Drink Its Blood

2) Macaws: They’re Nature’s Chiropractors!

3) Painful Love Nip

4) "Honey, I’ve Got An Itch . . . "

5) Practical Jokes Animals Play (When She Turns To Look, He’ll Dart Behind Her Other Shoulder)