Enterprise To Get Spiked?

ArcherI know what you’re thinking: "It already has been!"

Yes, it’s true.

Star Trek Enterprise has been spiked in the sense that it’s been cancelled after its fourth season (when it finally got really worth watching).

As Larry Niven would say: "TANJ!" (There Ain’t No Justice.)

There’s only a few new episodes left before the series goes where four Star Trek series have gone before.

Well, Enterprise may get spiked in another sense.

TURNS OUT THAT SPIKE TV IS INTERESTED IN POSSIBLY PICKING UP THE SERIES FOR A FIFTH SEASON.

Fans may want to contact Spike.

I’ve never watched Spike TV before, but if they pick up Enterprise, I’d tune in to check out their version of the show.

He Gave Us Dragons

H. P. Lovecraft writes:

THE OLDEST and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. These facts few psychologists will dispute, and their admitted truth must establish for all time the genuineness and dignity of the weirdly horrible tale as a literary form. Against it are discharged all the shafts of a materialistic sophistication which clings to frequently felt emotions and external events, and of a naïvely insipid idealism which deprecates the æsthetic motive and calls for a didactic literature to "uplift" the reader toward a suitable degree of smirking optimism. But in spite of all this opposition the weird tale has survived, developed, and attained remarkable heights of perfection; founded as it is on a profound and elementary principle whose appeal, if not always universal, must necessarily be poignant and permanent to minds of the requisite sensitiveness.

This is from Lovecraft’s monograph Supernatural Horror In Literature, which is considered the seminal 20th century treatment on the subject. In it, he surveys many masters of the macabre in the centuries and decades up to his time.

I don’t agree with him that fear is the oldest or strongest emotion or that fear of the unknown in particular is. I think mankind came into this word (whether you buy evolutionary accounts or not) with a robust set of emotions, no one of which predominates the others.

That being said, fear is a powerful, primal emotion, and fear of the unknown is one of its major expressions.

That is a sufficient reason for horror stories being popular despite the efforts of those who would cramp literature down into just those forms of naive realism that would seek to uplift all readers into "smirking optimism." (Gotta love that phrase.)

God gave the human imagination dragons, whether as symbols of actual or fanciful evils, and as Lovecraft points out in his monograph, the weirdly horrible has haunted human literature since its dim beginnings in primitive folklore. It’s part of the human psyche, and nothing is going to change that.

One of my own theories is that we like such literature for the same reason that kittens and puppies wrestle with each other and that boys play mock combat games: It’s a way of preparing ourselves psychologically when we may have to face horrible dangers, a way of experiencing such situations in a safe way (think: holodeck with the safeties on) so that we will be psychologically prepared for them when we face terrible real-life situations with the safeties off. To prep us for these, we have an inbuilt drive that makes us want to "play" dangerous situations so that we have something to fall back on when we encounter them for real.

When we’re young, we physicalize this through play. When we’re older, we internalize it through literature. But it’s the same phenomenon.

We may never encounter in real life the specific dangers we read about in horror stories or thrillers. Cthulhu is, after all, fiction. But there are things in the world just as evil and–to us as individuals–just as deadly as Cthulhu.

Better to have some experience of such evils in a simulator than to face them cold.

GET THE STORIES.

Very Observant

I have not been blogging for the last couple of days because I have been busy teaching a painting workshop. It went well and I think everyone left having learned something they could use. But I’m really wiped out.

I truly appreciate the kind words and good wishes (or prayers) from everyone concerning my art. The regional show I entered recently accepted both of the pieces I submitted and recognized one with a plaque and a cash award, which was cool. Remember this: No matter what we say, artists like it when other people respond well to their work. Period.

But cash is also good.

I often listen to NPR in my gallery, because it is my only source of classical music, aside from my own small collection of CDs. As much as I love Andre Segovia or whoever, once you’ve played the same CD every day for weeks you just have to give it a rest.

So, I was listening to "Morning Edition" on Saturday and heard an interviw with Daniel Schorr, wherein he made the observation (which I think true) that JPII helped change the religious dynamic in the U.S., from a split between "Protestant and Catholic" to a split between "observant and non-observant" of many faiths.

Unfortunately, National PUBLIC Radio is very PRIVATE about their transcripts and also appreciates cash.

But you can LISTEN for free here.

State of Smear

I have just finished Michael Crichton’s “novel” State of Fear and plan to review it. First a couple of disclaimers:

  1. This is a contemporary thriller novel and as such contains a significant amount of cussing, non-described acts of sexual immorality, and a scene of particularly gory brutality towards the end of the book.
  2. I happen to agree with Crichton that the theory that global warming is caused by “greenhouse gasses” is junk science, as are many other items of popular junk science that he brings up in the course of the novel. And I hope State of Fear manages to spark a real debate over global warming and enviro-nuttiness.

Now for the review:

Michael Crichton’s “novel” State of Fear is not actually a novel but instead is a piece of propaganda masquerading as a novel. A novel, of course, is a work of literature, a piece of art whereby words are used to evoke aspects of the human psyche and of human experience that transcend the merely ideological.

This transcendance of the ideological is what fails to happen in State of Fear.

According to the novel, there appear to be three kinds of people who believe in global warming:

  1. Those who don’t really know much about the science involved and whose attachment to the environmental movement is so tenuous that they can and will be flipped to the other side by the end of the novel,
  2. Those who don’t really know much about the science involved but whose attachment to the environmental movement is so strong that they remain shrieking harpies no matter what facts they are confronted with, and
  3. Those who know that the science supporting global warming is junk but whose commitment to environmentalist ideology (or something) is so strong that they are willing to cause millions of casualties in order to fake scientific data supporting global warming.

If there are any other kinds of people who believe in global warming, they apparently occur sufficiently infrequently in nature that they do not merit having a recurring character in the book.

Also according to State of Fear, there apparently aren’t any evil big busines types willing to fake environmental data. Sure, many charactes appearing in the pages of the novel talk incessantly about this type of individual, but since no exemplars of this type appear in its pages, they appear to be a myth–like unicorns, centaurs, griffins, or global warmings.

With this ideologically one-sided cast of characters that inevitably results from the above, does Crichton at least succeed in delivering a well-made piece of propaganda, like Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph of the Will?

No.

Artistically, the “novel” is a disaster on every level above basic spelling and grammar.

On the top level, there is the plot, which involves a huge, sprawling mess of a story that is so poorly defined that much of the time the reader has a better sense of what is going on when watching The Big Sleep than reading this morass. There is no clearly defined central action, and poorly-drawn characters do preposterous things at the drop of a hat.

F’rinstance:

  • What should a young lawyer do when he checks his messages and discovers that he has several calls from the local police department telling him that he failed to show up for an appointment and they will issue a warrant for his arrest if he doesn’t contact them? Should he drop everything to get the matter taken care of? Make sure he doesn’t get distracted by anything else before he does? Nooooo! He should simply leave a message for the detective who called him and then zip off on global assignments he has no qualifications for whatsoever!
  • A preening Hollywood actor/activist who plays the president on TV (think: Martin Sheen) wants to tag along with the heroes on a mission of vital global importance in a place so dangerous that death, decapitation, and pre-death cannibalism are real possibilities. No problem! Just have him sign a waiver! Don’t worry that he might actually be a security risk to the mission since you already know he’s working for the other side. Perish the thought that he might simply a bumbling incompetent who would get in the way of your vital mission to save millions! You’ll need him along so you can constantly argue with him about the lack of evidence for global warming and other environmentalist fetishes and make a fool of him at every turn.
  • Suppose that you’re an eco-terrorist mastermind. What should you do with people who are getting too close to the truth? Shoot them and be done with it? No! You should send your goons to use a tiny poison critter that you keep in a plastic baggie filled with water to sting them with a poison that will make them paralyzed but not kill them and that will wear off in a few hours. What’s more, you can do this to several people in the same city without any fear that after the toxin has worn off that the victims will tell the police enough to figure out who you are. So confident can you be of this that you don’t even need a clearly defined REASON to do this to people. You can just do it as part of some vaguely-defined attempt to be intimidating or something, without even telling the victims what it is that they are supposed to do or avoid doing in the wake of your goons’ attacks.
  • Suppose that you are a rich man who has been supporting environmental causes and who has somehow (FOR NO REASON EVER EXPLAINED IN THE BOOK) come into possession of a set of coordinates of where major eco-terrorist events will be happening–what do you do? Turn the list over to the government? Put it in a safe deposit box which only you and your lawyer have access to? No! You <SPOILER SWIPE> hide it inside a remote control in your TV room, where there is a lot of Asian art including a Buddha statue, then fake your own death in an auto accident so you can go personally face eco-terrorists all by your lonesome on a south sea jungle island despite the fact you are an aging, overweight alcoholic, and just before doing so you cryptically tell your lawyer that it’s an old Buddhist philosophical saying that “Everything that matters is not remote from where the Buddha sits”–seeming to imply (if anything) that the TV remote is NOT where the hidden list will be found.</SPOILER SWIPE> See? It’s obvious, ain’t it?

Below the level of plot is the level of character. How are the characters? Thinly-drawn action adventure stereotypes, with one glaring exception. Unfortunatley, the one glaring exception is the pseudo-protagonist.

Y’see, this novel has an ensemble cast, but the omniscient narrator focuses on one character in particular–a young L.A. lawyer–to use as the lens through which to show us the vast majority of the story, making him the pseudo-protagonist.

Because of his status in the narration there is a need for the reader to at least be able to like him (ideally, you’d want the reader to be able to identify with him, but that’s too much to ask in a novel like this). Unfortunately, you can’t. While every one of his colleagues–whether they are personal assistants to rich men, rich men themselves, or other lawyers–are apparently action heroes, this character is the ultimate momma’s boy.

For the first chunk of the novel he does nothing but walk around, take orders from others, and ask simple questions so that the reader can be given load after load of exposition. He takes no personal initiative in doing anything.

Eventually, the action hero characters he’s surrounded by start noticing what a wuss he is and our glimpses into their internal monologues reveal words like “wimp” and “idiot” as descriptors of this character–who is, you will remember, the main character the omniscient narrator has chosen for us to follow.

In the second part of the novel the character is placed in a potentially life-threatening situation that causes him to experience a collapse into such a passive, sobbing, whimpering wreck that even the omniscient narrator seemingly turns away from him in disgust and temporarily starts following his action-wouldbe-girlfriend until she can rescue him from his predicament.

Just before this event occurs the character is wondering to himself why the action-wouldbe-girlfriend (i.e., the action hero woman who he would like to date) doesn’t “take him seriously as a man”–a moment bound to leave the reader going “Hey! Buddy! No one in the audience takes you seriously as a man either!”

Fortunately, getting his butt saved after his potentially life-threatening experience starts to awaken a glimmer of intestinal fortitude in him, and by the end of the novel he has learned to cuss (a little) and he gets a romantic hug from his action-wannabe-girlfriend, who is apparently transitioning into his action-actual-girlfriend for no good reason.

If the plot and the characters are disasters, how about the dialogue and narration?

They suck eggs on toast.

Some passages are so excruciating that I found myself wondering “Didn’t they give Crichton a copy editor?” One such instance occurred when a character says something to Momma’s Boy in a foreign language and we read (quotation from memory):

“He didn’t know what it meant. But it’s meaning was clear.”

Other pasages contain monstrosities of dialogue that no copy editor could fix. F’rinstance: Toward the very end of the book one triumphant good guy character is expositing on his grand vision for the future, of how to save environmentalism from itself, save science from its current predicament, and generally improve society. (This speech is sometimes so general that certain points remind one of the Monty Python sketch “How To Do It,” in which we are told that the way to cure all disease is to invent a cure for something so that other doctors will take note of you and then you can jolly well make sure they do everything right and end all disease forever.)

This manifesto would go on for several pages without break except for the fact that Momma’s Boy gets to interrupt it with scintilating interlocutions like:

  • “Okay.”
  • “It sounds difficult.”
  • “Okay. What else?”
  • “Why hasn’t anyone else done it?”
  • “Really?”
  • “How?”
  • “And?”
  • “Anything else?”
  • and (a second time) “Anything else?”
  • and (a third time) “Anything else?”

I’m sorry, but no copy editor could fix a multi-page speech with such transparent attempts to disguise it as dialogue. At that point it’s the editor’s job to call the author and demand a re-write.

If the publishing house is interested in producing quality works, that is–as opposed to simply making money.

Oh, and lest I forget, there are numerous dropped threads in this story. Like: Whatever happened about that arrest warrant that Momma’s Boy got threatened with? And: How about other established characters who left him messages and needed to talk to him? And: What did the other critter-victims tell the police after the toxin wore off? And: Where did that body come from that got washed up on the beach and how did someone else’s clothes and watch get on it? And: Why didn’t the heroes ever use the incriminating DVD to incriminate anybody?

And most importantly: What actually, y’know, happened to the bad guys in the end? Did they go to jail? Were there congressional hearings? Did they flee to countries with non-extradition treaties? Did they manage to keep their cushy jobs? Did they just go out for sushi? What???

Crichton is interested in telling us none of these things.

But then, his “novel” was never about the story to begin with.

It’s a political tract that fails to rise above the level of those theological “novels” (both Protestant and Catholic) in which one side is always right and in which characters of opposing points of view exist only to serve as conversational foils to help illustrate the rightness of the protagonists–time after time after time.

It’s enough to make you scream.

Careful, Star Wars Spoiler-Avoiders!

Revengeofthesith I was in a bookstore last night, and right there in the first display inside the main door was the novelization of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

It was sitting right there.

With a complete novelization of what will go down on movie screen across the country just over a month from now.

It had all the spoilers one could want (shy of a bootleg copy of the finished film itself, of course).

And it’s available not only in hardback but also in CD and audiocasette, both abridged and unabridged.

At very reasonable prices.

Next day shipping available.

But be warned: If once you start to read it, forever will it dominate your experience of the film.

YOU MUST FACE YOUR GREATEST TEMPTATION, YOUNG PADAWAN.

A "Mystery" Solved?

So the other day I’m sitting around watching a Stargate SG-1 episode, and they’re going through this wormhole. Looks like this:

And I’m thinking: Why does it look like that? Why does it look like anything? The event horizon of the Stargate wormholes is supposed to disintegrate you into your component molecules and transmit them thorugh the wormhole. If you were totally discombobulated, you shouldn’t see anything.

But then we have evidence on the script-level of folks experiencing things in the wormhole, talking about what a "wild ride" they are and such.

So I think: Maybe when the wormhole disintegrates you, it doesn’t totally de-pattern you, it simply restructures your body in such a way that it can travel through the wormhole, but all the while you and your consciousness are still functioning. Your body’s been re-arranged, but it’s all still operational.

So then I thought: Hey, there’s evidence of the same thing on Star Trek. In that there Realm of Fear episode of Next Gen, Lt. BroccoliBarclay has some unusual experiences in the transporter beam (which he’s deathly afraid of [left]).

He even gets into a tussle with some critters that are up to no good in the transporter beam, though they later turn out to be something other than they appear (right).

The thing is: He’s conscious during all of this. So on Star Trek, like on Stargate, we have evidence of people remaining conscious and in some sense "together" during a period of de-materialization.

Now that may shed light on a long standing "mystery" in Star Trek: Namely, why you don’t simply die and get cloned each time you enter the transporter.

They recently referred to this problem in the episode of Enterprise where they had the inventor of the transporter guest star. During one scene they referred to all the "metaphysical" worries of folks about whether the transporter killed you and made a copy, at which point Trip looked around the dinner table and noted that, if that were true, "We’re all copies here."

Well, despite the fact I once saw a very neat cartoon on PBS exploring this premise (an animated character made a transporter transmitter and receiver out of two refrigerators then transported herself and pondered the moral implications of having done so, only to discover that despite the fact she died in the transmitter, she is now a "guiltless clone"), it would seem that Trek (and SG-1) ahve both provided evidence that this is not the case.

It seems to me that if your consciousness remains functional through the experience of being de-materialized then that’s at least presumptive evidence that it’s still you on the other end.

So the transporter and the Stargates are not killer+cloner devices.

Of course, since consciousness can exist independently of physical form, this leaves open the question of whether they are killer+resurrecter devices or just "repackaged for easy transport" devices.

A “Mystery” Solved?

So the other day I’m sitting around watching a Stargate SG-1 episode, and they’re going through this wormhole. Looks like this:

Wormhole

And I’m thinking: Why does it look like that? Why does it look like anything? The event horizon of the Stargate wormholes is supposed to disintegrate you into your component molecules and transmit them thorugh the wormhole. If you were totally discombobulated, you shouldn’t see anything.

But then we have evidence on the script-level of folks experiencing things in the wormhole, talking about what a "wild ride" they are and such.

So I think: Maybe when the wormhole disintegrates you, it doesn’t totally de-pattern you, it simply restructures your body in such a way that it can travel through the wormhole, but all the while you and your consciousness are still functioning. Your body’s been re-arranged, but it’s all still operational.

Barclay1 So then I thought: Hey, there’s evidence of the same thing on Star Trek. In that there Realm of Fear episode of Next Gen, Lt. BroccoliBarclay has some unusual experiences in the transporter beam (which he’s deathly afraid of [left]).

He even gets into a tussle with some critters that are up to no good in the transporter beam, though they later turn out to be something other than they appear (right).

The thing is: He’s conscious during all of this. So on Barclay2 Star Trek, like on Stargate, we have evidence of people remaining conscious and in some sense "together" during a period of de-materialization.

Now that may shed light on a long standing "mystery" in Star Trek: Namely, why you don’t simply die and get cloned each time you enter the transporter.

They recently referred to this problem in the episode of Enterprise where they had the inventor of the transporter guest star. During one scene they referred to all the "metaphysical" worries of folks about whether the transporter killed you and made a copy, at which point Trip looked around the dinner table and noted that, if that were true, "We’re all copies here."

Well, despite the fact I once saw a very neat cartoon on PBS exploring this premise (an animated character made a transporter transmitter and receiver out of two refrigerators then transported herself and pondered the moral implications of having done so, only to discover that despite the fact she died in the transmitter, she is now a "guiltless clone"), it would seem that Trek (and SG-1) ahve both provided evidence that this is not the case.

It seems to me that if your consciousness remains functional through the experience of being de-materialized then that’s at least presumptive evidence that it’s still you on the other end.

So the transporter and the Stargates are not killer+cloner devices.

Of course, since consciousness can exist independently of physical form, this leaves open the question of whether they are killer+resurrecter devices or just "repackaged for easy transport" devices.

Gotta Have a Gimmick

As an aspiring artist I have recently come to realize that what I lack is a gimmick. I have truly neglected this aspect of my professional development and now find myself, as usual, casting around at the last minute. I saw this fella in India on the Reuters Oddly Enough news that beat me to the punch and paints entirely with one fingernail on his left hand. Now I’ll have to scratch that one off my list of potential gimmicks.

I confess that I was a little misled by the title of the story "Disabled Artist Still Painting". I was expecting perhaps a story of a gallant quadriplegic who struggles with a brush held in the teeth, or an artist with Cerebral Palsy who has to wrestle over every detail. You can understand that I was a bit let down when it turned out to be a guy with a bad right arm who, therefore, paints with his left and who’s main aspiration is to get into the Guinness Book of World Records. He’s not even that good.

But being good or not is irrelevant when you don’t even have a gimmick (in song writing they call it the "hook") to distinguish yourself from the crowd. And so many obvious gimmicks have been taken. I’ll really have to work on this, and I already have so much to do this week!

Sorry, this story is in video format only, as far as I know.

GET THE STORY.

Scary Coincidence #2

It’s the year 2001.

A jet liner leaves on a journey, one of whose terminii is Boston’s Logan Airport.

It’s filled with passengers.

Shortly after takeoff, it’s hijacked.

The goal of the hijackers?

Slam it into the World Trade Center and spark a war.

I’m talking about 9/11, right?

Wrong!

I’m talking about the pilot episode (no pun intended!) of The Lone Gunmen.

The Lone Gunmen, as you may know, were three conspiracy buff/lovable loser types who first appeared on The X-Files as a kind of background think-tank, research group on which Mulder (and later Scully) could draw.

The three provided not only impossible insights on cases Mulder and Scully were trying to crack, they also provided priceless comic relief, and in the end they proved so popular that they got their own series!

But it only lasted 13 episodes and ended with a cliffhanger that had to be tied up back on The X-Files (not entirely satisfactorily, to my mind).

Lonegunmen In the first episode of their series, they faced a situation that was eerily prescient of 9/11, just as Futilility–or–The Wreck Of The Titan was eerily prescient of the Titanic disaster (that was scary coincidence #1, btw).

When 9/11 happened, I went "Oh, wow! This is just like the pilot episode of The Lone Gunmen!"

Except, of course, that in the TV show they managed at the last second to avert the plane so that it didn’t hit the World Trade Center (except for knocking over an antenna on the roof).

Also on the show, the event was engineered by a rougue group within the government rather than Osama bin Laden. (Though Daily Kos readers may think that is real life for all I know.)

The Lone Gunmen just came out on DVD, giving me the chance to re-watch the pilot episode and the rest (including the X-Files episode tying everything up, which is also included in the set).

Too bad it didn’t last longer.

GET THE SERIES.

Incidentally, something seemed to be buzzing around the collective Hollywood intellect about 9/11 in the year before it happened. Joe Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5, had been working on a series tentatively called World On Fire, which was so similar in content to 9/11 and the events that followed that he scrapped the whole thing after those events unfolded. What he planned to be a dynamic, daring television series had now become the nightly news. (Maybe that was scary coincidence #3.)

Scary Coincidences #1

It was the largest seagoing vessel of its time. Eight hundred feet long and capable of carrying 3,000 passengers, it was so large that its name evoked the Greek giants, the Titans of legend.

Hulled with steel, the British ship was regarded as "unsinkable," yet en route to New York, one April evening, it was struck by an iceberg on its starboard side around midnight and sank to the ocean floor, causing massive loss of life.

I’m talking about the Titanic, right?

Wrong!

As many readers may know, I’m talking about the Titan–a ship described in the 1898 novel Futility–or–The Wreck of the Titan by Morgan Robertson.

His novel eerily presaged the actual Titanic disaster that would occur in 1912.

After the disaster, Robertson revised the book to make it even more similar to the real-life disaster, but the above parallels were taken from the original edition.

They are only some of several, you can also

READ MORE PARALLELS.

READ ABOUT MORGAN ROBERTSON.

READ ABOUT THE TITANIC DIASTER.

READ THE NOVEL FUTILITY ONLINE.

or

ORDER THE NOVEL FUTILITY AS A CONVERSATION STARTER TO CREEP OUT YOUR FRIENDS AND LET THEM SEE WHAT IT HAS TO SAY FOR THEMSELVES.

Now just wait till I tell you scary coincidence #2!