Close Encounters Of The Irreverent Kind

Space_needle_1Hokay.

So last night I’m going to the 5:30 p.m. vigil Mass for All Saints Day at my parish.

Afterward, I decide to go back into the Eucharistic adoration chapel to pay a visit to the Blessed Sacrament.

My parish (despite its flaws) has 24-hour Eucharistic exposition, except during Mass (when by law it isn’t allowed). After Mass, they expose the Blessed Sacrament again.

So I’m kneeling at the rail around the Tabernacle, waiting for the pastor to come and expose the Blessed Sacrament and this woman comes and kneels next to me, kitty-corner at a bend in the rail.

She’s probably 55+ years old and is wearing a dark sweater and pants and is entirely normal in her attire except for one item.

She has the most bizarre piece of headgear on that I’ve ever seen.

The base of it was a thin headband that anchored it on her head. Coming up from this were two white coathanger-looking wires, bowed inward toward each other concavely. Sitting atop the white coathangers was a SMALL CIRCLE OF WHITE FUZZ–looked to be made of down plucked off baby birds or something and bleached white.

The filaments of fuzz bounce and float about in response to air currents.

The overall effect was like she had a FUZZY miniature version of the Seattle Space Needle sitting on her head.

Now, it flashed through my mind for a second that this might be meant to represent an angel’s halo, but it wasn’t like typical costume angel halos (which classically only have a single wire, which isn’t colored white so as to make it obtrusively visible, and the halo itself isn’t FUZZY AND WHITE but solid and gold).

Frankly, the woman looked like a creation of Dr. Seuss–most likely an inhabitant of Whoville.

Now, I’m fairly relaxed about the attire people wear in church. I don’t get upset if they’re in shorts or bluejeans or sneakers or what have you. (Otherwise I’d be mad all the time. California is really relaxed culturally when it comes ot dress. People on the East Coast who have to wear suits all the time have no idea.)

I also recognize that God is concerned about our hearts and not our attire, but we are supposed to maintain a proper and reverent attitude in church and fuzzy floaty pieces of Whoville headware seem to me to be inconsistent with that–as well as highly distracting to the other people in the adoration chapel.

I mean, you can pray to God buck naked if you want–but do it in the shower and not in the adoration chapel.

Different kinds of clothing are culturally appropriate for different venues in public (Matt. 22:11-12), and this woman was not dressed appropriately for this venue according to the standards of the local culture. (Whoville adoration chapels may be different.)

So I thought, in the moments before the solemn exposition of Our Lord and God Jesus Christ for the adoration of the faithful, that I might do something ever so slight to help out in this regard.

To allow her to save face, I silently got her attention and pointed to her headdress and to the empty monstrance that was about to receive Our Lord, as if to signal to the woman that she may have forgotten that she had this FUZZY MONSTROSITY sitting on top of her head.

The woman stared at me blankly, with a look of false incomprehension as to what I was trying to tell her.

So I started to whisper to her, but I was hampered by the fact that I didn’t know what to call the thing she was wearing. I think I initially referred to it as "headgear."

Then this exchange occurred, all in gentle whispers:

CINDY LOU WHO’S GRANDMOTHER: I can’t hear you.
ME (leaning closer and pointing for clarity): Ma’am, you’re wearing a costume element and Jesus is about to be exposed.
SPACE NEEDLE WOMAN: He loves angels.

She then proceeded to look at me blankly again and, not wanting to make a bigger spectacle than her headwear was already creating, I turned back to looking at the monstrace–where the priest was just solemnly exposing the Infinite Lord Of The Universe Incarnate–said my prayers (including a sympathetic one for the woman next to me), and left.

Propositions 5-10

Okay, now that I’ve got my computer situation squared away, back to the propositions from the Synod on the Eucharist.

HERE ARE THE NEXT SIX PROPOSITIONS FROM THE SYNOD OF BISHOPS.

Proposition 5 is another theological review proposition. It discusses the relationship of the Eucharist to the Church. One thing it says is rather interesting:

The ecclesial character of the Eucharist might also be a privileged
point in the dialogue with the communities born with the Reformation.

I’m not sure which communities they’re thinking of (probably Lutherans first and foremost) or what hay they think they may be able to make in this direction, but it stood out.

With prop 6 things get more interesting. #6 is devoted to Eucharistic adoration and forcefully recommends it (even using the word "forcefully"). This is in reaction to an erroneous theology that took hold in some quarters after the Council that dissed Eucharistic adoration, arguing that the celebration of the Mass is what’s important, so all our attention needed to be on the celebration of the Mass, not on Jesus himself as the Eucharist after Mass.

JP2 had been dinging away at that mindset for a while, and this is a continuation of same.

Of note in this section is a recommendation that churches be kept open as much as possible to allow people to come for Eucharistic adoration and that this practice be part of preparation for first Communion.

One thing that it’s important to note here: As encouraging as all this is, the document doesn’t call for any changes in the rules regarding Eucharistic EXPOSITION. People often talk as if exposition and adoration are the same thing, and they’re not. The law imposes VERY SIGNIFICANT restrictions on when exposition can be done, so the call for greater Eucharistic adoration does not translate directly into a call for greater Eucharistic exposition. What they’re envisioning is having churches open so that people can go adore Jesus in the tabernacle, not having Eucharistic exposition available in every parish. That being said, the faithful in different parishes can certainly appeal to the Synod’s recommendation for greater adoration and argue that this would be facilitated if they had exposition available in their parish.

Prop 7 deals with the Eucharist and the sacrament of reconciliation. Noting that the state of grace is necessary for reception of the Eucharist and encouraging frequent confession, the document calls for bishops to do a number of things: (1) start educating people more about the need for conversion and confession, (2) eliminate general absolutions (I’ve never seen one of those, but they appear to be a problem in some countries; Austrailia, for example, from what I understand), (3) make sure there are suitable places for confession in parishes, and (4)–oddly–for the bishop to "appoint the confessor." I’m not sure if the latter is a translation problem or what, for it makes it sound as if each parish would have only one confessor even if it had multiple priests, and I don’t think that’s what they mean.

The prop also says "it would also be necessary to further the dimension of reconciliation
already present in the Eucharistic celebration (cf. CCC 1436),
specifically in the penitential rite," which might be interpreted as a call for beefing up the penitential rite at Mass in some way.

And it calls for a renewed catechesis of the faithful on indulgences and encourages bishops and priests to request more indulgences from the apostolic penitentiary.

Proposition 8 is an attempt to relate the Eucharist the the sacrament of matrimony, but like many of these theological-reflection type propositions, it seems rather thin–like butter spread across too much bread.

The problem is that, because the Eucharist is Jesus and Jesus is God and God is related to everything in the universe (as its Creator) there is a tendency to try to relate the Eucharist to everything in the universe. Anything that one values may get related to the Eucharist in some theological documents, even though there may not be a direct connection between them and so there may not be that much to say about them that is relevant to the Eucharist.

Things that one does not value don’t get this treatment. Thus one never finds attempts to relate the Eucharist to cockroaches or to Smurf dolls or to pebbles on the surface of Mars. The things that the Eucharist gets related to in a document thus often tell one more about the values of the person or people who wrote the document than tells you about the Eucharist itself.

In this proposition the fathers of the Synod are expressing the value of marriage and thus trying to relate it to the Eucharist, but there is not much of a direct connection as the two sacraments (while they are both sacraments).

Some of the interesting stuff in this proposition thus isn’t really about the Eucharist but about marriage. For example, it states: "The Synod recognizes the singular mission of woman in the family and in the society."

That’s interesting. It acknowledges that women have a unique (singular) mission in the family–a proposition that is currently under heavy attack in western culture, where many wish to see husbands and wives as having fully interchangeable roles, with no uniqueness to the mission and role of either. Unfortunately, they don’t go into any detail about what that unique mission in the family may be.

They also allude to women having a unique mission in society. This is probably a clause put in to avoid the charge of wanting to view women as if they only have a contribution to make to the family and no role outside the home. They don’t really go into any detail here either about what the mission of women in society is, though if I had to guess I’d say that one of the things they may have in mind is that "Women: Teachers of Peace" theme that found a place in John Paul II’s writings.

Proposition 9 is TOTALLY BIZARRO if you don’t recognize the style of relating the Eucharist to everything that I mentioned in the previous point. I mean, why on Earth would one want a section titled "Eucharist and Polygamy"? I mean, the Eucharist has NO DIRECT RELATIONSHIP TO POLYGAMY WHATSOEVER.

The reason for this proposition being here is that the fathers of the Synod have just raised the subject of matrimony in the previous point and, having done that (more to show us the value of marriage than to tell us anything about the Eucharist), they then want to address a pastoral problem connected with matrimony.

You see, a polygamy is still a social reality in many parts of Africa, which is also rapidly becoming Catholic in many areas. As a result, the Church is having to tell a bunch of African guys, "Listen, we want you to become Catholic, too, but you’re going to have to give up a bunch of your wives, while also making equitable provision for them and for the children you’ve had by them."

This is an important and delicate subject, but it really doesn’t have a place in a document about the Eucharist because it doesn’t have a direct connection with the Eucharist. One can pick up any social problem one wants and relate it to the Eucharist in this fashion (e.g., "Eucharist and Abortion," "Eucharist and Gay Marriage," "Eucharist and Pornography," "Eucharist and Tax Evasion," "Eucharist and Copyright Violation").

And so we see, once again, this proposition in the document revealing more about the values of the authors (what they consider an important subject that needs to be addressed) than it reveals about the Eucharist.

Proposition 10 actually gets us back to talking about something that has to do with the Eucharist: Communion services celebrated on Sunday becaues there is no priest to say Mass.

The Holy See has recognized a need for these in many places but it also has been quite nervous about them, not wanting people to see them as a replacement equivalent to Mass or a way of promoting the laity who often lead them into a quasi-priestly status.

There is thus a general endorsement of them but a stress on the need to differentiate them from Mass in the imnds of the faithful and a mandate for bishops’ conferences to come up with norms regulating them in their own territory–including when Communion can be distributed at them (it is envisioned that some Sunday assemblies might just be celebrations of the Word).

There’s also something new here that is not obvious unless you’ve read the background documents: There’s a new language introduced for talking about these services. They’ve taken to calling them "Sunday assemblies awaiting a priest." This is meant as a replacement for descriptors like "Sunday assemblies without a priest."

The shift in language–borrowed from France if I recall correctly–is meant to underscore the fact that the norm we have to work toward is having a priest saying Sunday Mass and that we can’t treat a Sunday service without a priest as equivalent to Mass.

The Ronald Knox Society

Rknox

Msgr. Ronald Knox, one of the great British converts of the 20th century and perhaps a future patron saint of Anglican-convert priests, now has a society devoted to the promulgation of his life and work. It is titled The Ronald Knox Society of North America.

"The Ronald Knox Society of North America is a literary society dedicated to Msgr. Knox and his literary accomplishments. We are quite simply a group of assorted people who enjoy, and have benefited from, the writings of Msgr. Knox. Our goals are neither apologetic, nor scholastic. We count ourselves indebted to Msgr. Knox and therefore seek only to make others aware of a vast mine of spiritual and literary treasures available to them."

VISIT THE SITE.

How cool!

As an aside, if you’d like to read a sample of Msgr. Knox’s work, check out his satirical essay on false expressions of ecumenism and interreligious dialogue, Reunion All Around, written while he was still an Anglican.

Catholic School Shows Spine

SDG here.

MSNBC runs a story about St. Luke’s Catholic school in Brookfield, Wisconsin, where they decided to drop a fashion show/fund raiser with an American Girl™ theme.

For those of you who haven’t heard of them already, the popular American Girl™ dolls are costumed to represent girls of all walks of life from various periods in American history. The fashion show would have featured girls carrying the dolls and wearing matching outfits.

My wife and daughter have happily collected American Girl™ dolls, along with the books and other items marketed with the dolls, though we are now boycotting the company (owned by Mattel, Inc.).

It’s a shame, because I thought the dolls’ designers tapped in to a neglected market, allowing doll collecting to become a lesson in American history. I actually picked up one of their books and found it surprisingly well-written. I had expected pure drek, but it was not too far off from Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House™ books.

You might figure that the American Girl™ folks would know a good thing when they had it, and would give anything that might bring unnecessary controversy to their enterprise a wide berth. This is especially true considering that collectors of a doll line called American Girl™ might tend to run to the conservative side.
But American Girl™ recently decided to endorse a charity called Girls, Inc., and there the controversy began. They actually offered in their catalog some of those rubber bracelets you see so much nowadays, with proceeds going to Girls, Inc.

The charity itself is actually not mentioned until the very last paragraph of the MSNBC piece, and is described in glowing terms that sound as if they might have been lifted from the group’s promotional material:

“Girls Inc. offers a wide range of programs and resources to help
educate and encourage girls in everything from science to health. That
includes information about abortion and contraception along with sexual
abstinence. The organization also affirms lesbian sexual orientation.”.

The folks at American Girl™ just don’t see what all the stink is about, and are befuddled that anyone might be upset at their innocent support of a charity that, after all, is just trying to help girls.

St. Lukes’ pastor, Fr. Frank Malloy, summed up the reason for dropping the fashion show:

“It’s a bargain we’ll just have to pass up. The cost is too high. Our integrity isn’t for sale.”

I voted in the online poll, but support for the school predictably lagged behind on the site. You can read the story and vote in the poll HERE.

Plucky Anti-Murder Student EXPELLED!!!

Katelyn Sills writes:

As of Saturday, October 29th, I was given official notice by express mail that I am expelled from Loretto High School.
This was given completely without forewarning, without a meeting, and
without a chance to say goodbye. My family is now seeking legal advice,
and more details will follow.

SOURCE.

BACKGROUND.

LEGAL ADVICE: Sue–if at all possible. Loads of pro-life lawyers would do this totally pro bono. Take recourse to the diocese as well.

CHT to the reader who e-mailed!

You Get What You Pay For

As in the case of free health advice.

Like this health Q & A that I received by e-mail:

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

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Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO …… Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

Baseball And Church Bells

Soxlogo

I’m not much of a baseball or football fan, although hometown pride — and I am one of that rare breed known as the Native San Diegan — occasionally (usually when a rare championship series comes a’callin’) will transform me into a fair-weather fan of the Padres and Chargers. Even so, the past couple of years I’ve thought it nice that the BoSox and ChiSox have finally been rewarded with World Series victories. I wouldn’t have blogged on the White Sox win, though, until I ran across an article on fan reaction that tickled me.

"Loud music blared over the city’s South Side on Wednesday night, and one needed only to look up at the balcony of Nativity of Our Lord Catholic Church to find its source.

"The White Sox had won the World Series, and for the Rev. Dan Brandt, it was time to party down.

"Father Brandt jumped with glee from his office in the heart of the South Side, then ran from the room to ring the church bells and play ‘Let’s Go Go Go White Sox!’ — the theme song for Chicago’s 1959 World Series appearance — when the game ended.

"But his main focus was to keep those bells clanging.

"’They’re going to keep ringing for at least several hours, maybe longer,’ said Brandt, as parishioners around him, who had gathered to watch the game together, hugged and smiled."

GET THE STORY.

One of the great things about being Catholic is the ability of Catholics to express joy in the world around us through distinctly Catholic means. Some Christians might be scandalized at the idea of ringing church bells for a baseball victory. For Catholics, celebrating such victories is just one of the reasons why God invented church bells.