A reader writes:
I have a couple of important questions and hopefully you are the person to answer them.
I was baptized Catholic at birth and later confirmed. I have only been married once.
First, can I even contemplate entering the Diaconate program if my wife is not Catholic (she is a baptized protestant)? My wife attends Mass with me regularly, but does not receive communion, in respect to our church’s teachings.
Second, if my wife went through RCIA and became a Catholic, how long would she have to be a Catholic before I could be considered for the Diaconate program?
The fact that your wife is Protestant does not appear to create a canonical barrier to ordination to the permanent diaconate. The relevant canon simply reads:
Can. 1031 §2. A candidate for the permanent diaconate who is not married is not to be admitted to the diaconate until after completing at least the twenty-fifth year of age; one who is married, not until after completing at least the thirty-fifth year of age and with the consent of his wife.
There is nothing in there (nor does a check of parallel legal sources and commentary) requiring the spouse to be Catholic.
But there should be.
(NOTE: The last sentence signals that we are moving from canon law to theological opinion.)
St. Paul is very clear about the fact that Christ’s ministers–including deacons–need to have religious solidarity with their family. In 1 Timothy 3, he writes:
[8] Deacons likewise must be serious, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for gain;
[9] they must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience.
[10] And let them also be tested first; then if they prove themselves blameless let them serve as deacons.
[11] The women likewise must be serious, no slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things.
[12] Let deacons be the husband of one wife, and let them manage their children and their households well;
[13] for those who serve well as deacons gain a good standing for themselves and also great confidence in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.
You’ll notice the reference to "The women" in verse 11. As a linguistic matter, the Greek here is ambiguous. The Greek text simply refers to gunaikas, which could be translated either "women" or "wives" since in Greek the word for "woman" and the word for "wife" are the same (gune–pronounced "gu-nay").
Advocates of women’s ordination have pounced on this verse to argue that there were sacramentally ordained female deacons in the early Church, but subsequent Christian tradition has made it clear that this was not the case. Only a baptized male can be validly ordained.
This indicates that the correct reading of gune should be "wife" rather than "woman." The passage should be understood to mean:
Wives likewise must be serious, no slanderers, but temperate, faithful in all things.
The structure of the passage also indicates this. Paul has just been discussing the requirements for deacons who are male in verses 8-10 and he is clearly discussing the requirements for male deacons in 12-13. It is much more likely that in verse 11 Paul is stating a further requirement for male deacons (i.e., that they have wives of a certain character) than that he is swerving wildly to mention in passing a whole different group of people (female deacons) about whose requirements for ordination he is silent.
Further, we already know that Paul has the "wife" meaning of gune in mind in this passage because in the very next verse (v. 12) it unambiguously means "wife."
If we take this as established then what does the passage say regarding the qualifications a prospective deacon’s wife must have? Among other things, that she be "faithful in all things."
What Paul means by this is somewhat ambiguous. He may mean a number of things. But I find it difficult to envision Paul regarding a prospective deacon’s wife as "faithful in all things" if she did not share the fullness of the Christian faith. If she rejected certain elements of the faith of Christ then I don’t think Paul would regard her as fitting this description.
Paul clearly consider the religious affiliation of family members important. In Titus 1:6 Paul is discussing the qualifications for office of a bishop (which term seems to have been used equivalently with presbyter in Paul’s day) and he says that one of the qualifications for ordinatoin is that "his children are believers and not open to the charge of being profligate or insubordinate."
So the children of a prospective bishop/presbyter must be believers in order for him to be qualified for ordination. This means that the religious affiliation of immediate family members are relevant for prospective ministers, and this provides part of the context for Paul’s statement that a deacon’s wife must be "faithful in all things."
This is something I recognized back when I was Protestant and married to a Catholic. I wanted–deeply–to enter the Protestant ministry as a pastor or seminary professor, but I recognized that the New Testament requires ministers to have religious solidarity with their families and, even though I’m sure that I could have found someone who would be willing to ordain me even though I had a Catholic wife, I refused in conscience to seek that.
I was willing to give up my prospective career–the only thing I wanted to do in life–rather than violate this requirement. This was an ENORMOUSLY painful thing for me, but I was planning to go into law or go back to philosophy instead.
I also thank God that he hid from me the fact that I might be able to do ministry as a Catholic so that I was not tempted to convert for the wrong reasons.
It seems quite clear to me, then, that this is a principle that needs to be honored. The immediate family members of a prospective clergyman (priest or deacon) need to share the fullness of the Christian faith, which means that they need to be Catholic.
Canon law may not require this, but in my opinion sound pastoral practice does. I understand allowing mixed marriages as a concession for the laity, but Christ’s ministers are to be held to a higher standard.
Whether your local bishop (the man who would be ordaining you to the diaconate) would agree with this, I could not say.
In regard to the second question, since even having a non-Catholic wife is not a canonical barrier to ordination there is correspondingly no canonical waiting period before ordination should she become Catholic.
The ideal thing, of course, would be for her to become Catholic, and it certainly is not inappropriate for you to invite her to consider this BUT–AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT–you cannot pressure her to become Catholic so that you can pursue the diaconate. The Catholic faith must be accepted freely, without coercion or emotional manipulation on the part of a spouse.
So I would encourage you to entrust this situation to God in prayer. Your desire to serve Christ is praiseworthy, and you are not canonically constrained from pursuing ordination to the diaconate, but there are serious pastoral issues connected with your life situation that may weigh against this. You should think about all this and pray about it and seek the counsel of additional people, including the vocations director of your diocese, who can guide you further regarding the particular requirements for ordination that your local bishop employs.
The situation may be messy and complex, but that’s the kind of situation that God specializes in.
Hope this helps.
