Text-To-Speech

Last week I put up a link to an audio file I made out of the pope’s new encyclical, Deus Caritas Est, using a text-to-speech program.

I also suggested on Catholic Answers Live that a person might want to read the Catechism off the Vatican’s web site using such a program to help one get through it.

The result of these actions was that I got a number of requests for info about what program I use, how much it costs, etc.

I’ve blogged about this before, but it seemed opportune to hit this again, so here goes:

The program I use is called TextAloud. It’s produced by the folks at NextUp.Com, and it costs about $30. You can also download a trial verison for free.

One of the nice things about TextAloud is that you can buy different voices to go with it, and some of the voices they have these days are REALLY cool.

The best voices currently are the AT&T Natural Voices, which sound so good that I suspect they are reverse-engineered from individual people. The basic two Natural Voices are known as Crystal and Mike. They come with the pack that you need to order to use Natural Voices. This pack costs $25 or $45 depending on the quality you want the voice to have (8khz vs. 16khz).

Incidentlaly, you can download both TextAloud and the AT&T Natural Voices online from the NextUp site. You don’t have to wait for CDs to ship, so you can be up and running with these programs in next to no time.

Personally, I use AT&T Natural Voice Mike (16khz) most of the time. If you want to hear what he sounds like, listen to THE POPE’S ENCYCLICAL or, if you don’t want to download 17mb then listen to THIS ADAPTATION I DID OF EDGAR ALLEN POE’S "THE RAVEN."

One of the nice things about TextAloud is that the current version integrates a plug-in for the Firefox web browser so that you can have it read web pages without having to copy and paste them into TextAloud. In fact, you can use your cursor to select specific text on a web page so that the program won’t read stuff on the page that you aren’t interested in. (HINT: Have it read the "printer friendly" version of a web page to eliminate even more junk.)

I do this all the time and, in fact, it’s the principal way that I get my news. I have Mike read me a bunch of printer-friendly news stories every day.

TextAloud also will read a file into .mp3 format, and you can control the speed that it does this (it doesn’t do it out loud in this mode, so it can go really, really fast. Mike read the pope’s encyclical to .mp3 in a couple of minutes on my computer, but when you listen to the file it’s like an hour and a half of listening time).

You can then listen to the .mp3 on your computer or your portable player (think: iPod).

Incidentally, if you haven’t yet joined the .mp3 revolution then you should know that you probably already have joined it without realizing it. Y’see: Virtually every computer sold these days already plays .mp3s. Window Media Player, QuickTime, iTunes, RealPlayer (WARNING! Evil software application!), and countless others all play .mp3s. Since virtually every computer sold these days comes with at least one of these programs pre-loaded, you may well have clicked on a web audio link and heard an .mp3 file without even realizing you were listening to one.

Which is a long-winded way of saying: Don’t be intimidated by .mp3s if you haven’t consciously used them yet. Unless you bought your computer back in the Cenozoic Era, you’ve already got what you need to listen to them, so go ahead start using them consciously.

Practice by clicking the above link to "The Raven."

So: Hope that helps, and happy text-to-speech-ing!

To Speak To A Live Person, Press…

You’ve called some company and have found yourself lost in a veritable maze of voice mail instructions, none of which gives you the number to press to speak to a real live human being who can answer your question or fix your problem quickly and easily. Have you ever wondered if there is some way to break through the system and be routed to the human being to whom you need to talk? There is! One enterprising individual has put together some crib notes to keep on hand the next time you’re winding your way through Voice Mail Purgatory.

GET THE LIST.

(Nod to Some Have Hats for the link.)

“Set PHaSRs On Blind!”

PhasrYessirree, you’re lookin’ at an honest-to-God PHaSR, right here!

A Personnel Halting and Simulation Response system, that is.

It was recently unviled by the Air Force as a form of non-lethal crowd control and, like the phasers on Star Trek, is a laser-related weapon. (It also looks suspiciously like certain 24th century type III marine combat phaser rifles.)

It shoots a pulsed beam of green laser light that is intended to temporarily blind ("dazzle") the targets it is trained on, making it useful for crowd control and dazzling potentially dangerous motorists who are approaching military checkpoints too fast (i.e., as if to ram through them or suicide bomb or something).

Similar white-light-based systems are already being used in Iraq to stop potential terrorists careening toward military checkpoints, but the new system may be more effective.

An important aspect of the PHaSR system is that it does not (or is not supposed to) cause permanent blindness. Permanently blinding laser weapons do exist, but they are banned under a 1995 U.N. protocol and so are not used.

The PHaSR system seeks to avoid permanent blindness by automatically sensing the distance to the target and (apparently) adjusting the strength of the laser beam it emits (though the military is presently a bit cagey on exactly how this works).

It also uses two different frequencies of light in case the target is wearing goggles to block one frequency.

SWEET!

Now if they’d just develop zatnikitels. You just can’t beat that "one shot stuns, two shots kill, three shots disintegrates" functionality.

GET THE STORY.

P.S. Y’know, this only raises the question of why they never used a sub-stun setting to dazzle people on Star Trek.

The (not-so) Fiery Furnace

We’ve been having trouble with our furnace.

For you folks out in sunny California, or down in balmy Florida, a furnace is a household appliance common here in Arkansas, the primary job of which is to waft great billows of toasty, heated air into our chilly living spaces, so that we don’t have to go to all the trouble of getting up and walking all the way to the closet and putting on a sweater.

That’s alot to ask of any American, especially when you consider that there is a good chance of misplacing the TV remote while you walk around the house.

So, I called a technician and he fiddled around with the thing for about twenty minutes, announced that he had found the problem and informed me that it would be very expensive to fix. I told him to hold off ordering any parts, because I wanted to be able to do some creative budgeting before I coughed up several hundred bucks.
That night, my wife (the one of us who isn’t absent minded) reminded me that we have household insurance that covers stuff like this.

OO-RAH!

I called the number on our copy of the contract, and in a few hours, another technician was knealing in our cramped furnace closet, only a few feet from the catbox. I thought to myself that anyone who spends that much time in basements and garages probably gets to see alot of catboxes.

The new technician is younger than the last. He sets to work, and the thought of telling him about yesterday’s technician crosses my mind. Should I tell him that "the other guy" thought it was a stuck relay?

He hums a little while he works. He is patient, unlike "the other guy", who seemed to be having a hard day, and grumbled whenever he dropped a screw, or misplaced his flashlight.

Do I just casually drop a remark like, "-think maybe it’s a stuck relay?"

The "new" guy is moving a little probe around to different wires that run around the furnace. A little red light in the probe blinks on and off as he touches here and there.

Do I mention the previous diagnosis, just to save him some trouble?

No, and here’s why. Two reasons:

1) I have no clue as to whether the "other guy" was correct in his diagnosis. Sure, I would have trusted him to fix the problem, because he knows more than I do, but I can’t say for sure that he got it right on his first go.

2) As I heard someone say recently, "Everyone likes to peel their own banana". This guy seems confident and capable. He probably likes to go about his job in a certain way, testing and deducing according to his own logical pattern. He might not appreciate people throwing out theories while he is trying to systematically form his own judgements. I could just see him giving me a sideways glance and saying, "Well maybe it’s a stuck relay and maybe it ain’t.". Here in thenSouth, such un-asked for advice could be taken as a lack of trust. It wouldn’t be polite.

This new tehnician is very patient, and works for a solid twenty-five minutes before saying anything.

"Hm-m-m-mm."

That’s it; "Hm-m-m-mm.".

A few minutes later he stands up and explains "Looks like there’s a bad relay in your control board.".
It’s going to be expensive, and will take a few days to get the part, he says. We make some innocuous conversation and chuckle a little over how complicated machines are these days. In the old days, I could have fixed my own furnace, but this one has an electronic brain. I always used to work on my own cars myself. He understands.

He leaves with a "take it easy", and I’m glad I didn’t mention the other technician.

It’s chilly at night this week. We can make it like an adventure. Pile blankets on the bed and wear sweaters. And now we have an excuse to use the fireplace!

WiFi Bleg!

I gotta question for y’all!

My current laptop is WiFi enabled, which allowes me to connect to take it to a large number of places and connect it to a large number of wireless networks. (Meaning: I don’t have to plug it into an ordinary modem in order to connect to the Internet. I can just sit in a Starbucks–or wherever–and blog or check my e-mail from there.)

When I’ve used this feature, however, I have often gotten messages telling me that the WiFi networks that are in range are "unsecured," and warnings appear telling me that data I send over the networks may be observed by others.

But I get similar warnings when I use normal, modem-based networks. (These are also generally observable except for unique, encoded transactions where I submit my passwords. Thus a snooper may observe what I am buying from Amazon.Com, but my password *itself* is in a uniquely encrypted bit of the transaction.)

So my question is: WHAT LEVEL OF SECURITY IS PROVIDED BY SUCH WIFI NETWORKS?

FOR EXAMPLE: If I type in my password for my e-mail account on a WiFi network, can other folks see that? Or is it like a normal web-based account where snoopers could see my e-mail but not the password I send?

Or can *anything* (password or not) be seen by a snooper. (In which case, why would ANYONE use an unsecured network to do ANYTHING?).

I’d appreciate whatever light on this question folks can shed.

If possible, PLEASE INCLUDE LINKS to where I can read more about the security processes in question!

Thanks much, folks!

He’s No Match For Droidekas!

Kimjongil_2Good news, everybody!

Battle robots may be joining the peace-keeping mission at the North Korea/South Korea DMZ (a.k.a., "the Neutral Zone").

EXCERPTS:

Armed, six-legged robots may one day work alongside man’s best friend on the southern side of the Korean DMZ.


South Korea will spend 33.4 billion won over the next five years to develop the robots for the heavily fortified demilitarised zone that divides the peninsula, the Communications Ministry said in a statement Friday.


South Korea envisages the robots performing roles on the battlefield now done by dogs, such as sniffing for explosives and catching intruders, the ministry said.


The robots will stand knee-high to the average adult, mounted on wheels for road missions or on as many as eight legs to get them over uneven terrain, it said. Equipped with firearms, they will be able to carry out combat missions via remote control.

GET THE STORY.

RomulanNorth Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il probably won’t be pleased!

No floral baskets for the robots!

The Shape Of Poorly-Designed Things To Come

I don’t know if they’ve shown up in your area yet, but here in San Diego stores are staring to have self-service checkout machines. The newly built Wal-Marts have them here. So do a few of the grocery stores.

The idea is that the store can save some money on cashiers if they let customers check themselves out and pay for their products, the same way banks can save money on tellers if they have ATMs for customers to use. Theoretically, both kinds of machines also benefit the customer by giving him greater convenience and speed since there are now more checkout lanes open for use. (How often have you been in a store where they have ten lanes, only two of which have checkers and are open?)

The problem is that ATMs work but these cussed things don’t.

As y’all know, I have nothing against technology. I’m fer it. I use it all the time. I’m a reg’lar tech-no-phile.

But they ain’t got the bugs worked out of these self-checker machines. Every time I use one it ends up as a frustrating experience. The other day I was at Wal-Mart and decided to complain to the manager about the experience (about the fourth or fifth bad one I’d had with their machines), telling him that the machines were poorly designed and that, although I was supportive of their efforts to introduce them and a technology fan, I would take my business elsewhere if I had to either use such frustratingly designed machines or wait through long lines now that they had fewer checkers.

If enough people tell them things like that, they may fix things.

After leaving the store, I started thinking about what exactly was frustrating about the devices. Basically, they’re too complex, but where does the source of the problem lie? It seemed to me that there are three general sources of the problem:

First, there is the bagging process. When you swipe a product over the scanner the machine directs you to put it in a bag in the bagging area, where an RFID sensor (or something) recognizes that you’ve done so and tells you to scan the next item.

In theory.

In practice what happens is that, for one reason or another, the RFID sensor doesn’t recognize that you’ve put the item in the bag, and you have to interrupt your scanning of the next product to try to convince it that you’ve done what you’re supposed to.

I don’t know what function the bagging process is supposed to fulfill (presumably something to do with making sure you scan all your items and do so only once), but whatever it is, it ain’t essential because they have a "Skip the bagging process" button for folks who are fed up with the whole thing and won’t do it.

Personally, I just put my items in the bagging area without making any effort to actually put them into a bag. I’ll bag them after I’ve got them all scanned, because the processes are just to frustrating to manage simultaneously. (Which is probably why clerks don’t do both at once, too. First they scan your items, then they bag them.)

A second source of needless complexity–and this is a much more serious problem–is the number of sources of information you’re expected to keep track of while you do all this. I counted at least six. You’re suppose to simultaneously juggle:

  1. Audible instructions in the form of a human-sounding voice from the machine
  2. Beeps and boops that sound when you scan items or do something wrong
  3. Printed signs affixed to different parts of the machine
  4. Instructions on the left hand side of the main touch-screen
  5. Instructions on the right hand side of the main touch-screen
  6. Instructions appearing THREE FEET AWAY on the secondary touch-screen where you swipe your payment card

The problem is that you often can’t tell which information source you’re supposed to be paying attention to. You don’t know if you’re supposed to be listening for the voice, for a beep, for a video instruction on a touch-screen, or even which touch-screen you’re supposed to be looking at.

For example, yesterday when I was trying to pay for my items, I swiped my ATM card through the secondary touch-screen’s slot, entered my PIN, and told it that I wanted a certain amount of cash back. I then noticed that the main touch-screen (three feet away) was saying "Authorizing transaction," which to a normal human being means that the machine has all the info it needs and is calling your bank to, y’know, authorize the transaction.

Not!

After waiting and waiting and waiting (during which time the customer behind me in line noted how slow the device was in getting authorization from my bank, figuring it was a modem or line problem), I discovered that the secondary touch-screen (THREE FEET AWAY) was saying "You have asked for $60 in cash back, which will make your total $74.15. Do you wish to approve this amount?"

I’d been waiting all this time and the machine hadn’t even tried to call my bank yet!

I didn’t know that, though, because I was mistakenly paying attention to a separate and erroneous (or at least misleading) source of information coming from the machine.

This really has to change if they want people to use these machines. ATMs work, in part, because they don’t require you to keep track of so many sources of information. They have one touch-screen, and they keep your attention concentrated there or on the slots immediately adjacent to the touch-screen.

They don’t make you hop back and forth needlessly between two different touch-screens, nor do they change-off the way you’re getting information (Am I supposed to be listening for the voice now? Which screen am I supposed to be looking at? Which side of the screen am I supposed to be looking at?)

ATMs also keep together things like where the cash comes out and where your receipt comes out. Those two slots are right next to the (single) touch-screen. But that’s not the way it is with the auto-checker machine. The cash back slot is two feet below the main touch-screen, while the receipt slot is immediately under the secondary touch-screen. The voice has to tell you where to look for these things and then you have to lunge back and forth between them to get your cash and receipt.

The third major problem is that there are simply too many bells and whistles on this sucker. The process is over-built. When you’re in a regular checker lane and you swipe your card, you typically have only to press one of two or three buttons to tell it whether you’re using a credit card, a debit card, or some third kind of card that I don’t have.

Why you even have to do that, I don’t know. I don’t know why the machine can’t identify what kind of card you’re using from the numbers in the magnetic stripe when you swipe it. It certainly knows if you’re using Visa, MasterCard, Discover, or what bank to draw the debited funds from using those numbers. I also don’t know that anybody would get bent out of shape if the machine simply treated all combination debit/credit cards as one or the other. But at least you only have to press one of two or three buttons to get past this step.

Not one of fourteen.

That’s right! You’ve got to pick from more than a dozen payment options on this device! Half of them I didn’t even know what they were, and it was really frustrating trying to simply find the option labeled "Debit Card" amid all the unfamiliar, complex, and colorful icons.

I don’t know who makes these machines, but they need to realize that if you want people to learn to use something like this you have to make it AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE. You cannot build a device that gives you all the options (and more!) that you’d have in a human-checker lane.

So, bright boys, go back to the drawing board and simplify. Strip down the steps the customer needs to perform to the bare minimum. Eliminate the stupid bagging process entirely. Get rid of the secondary touch-screen. Don’t put competing information on two sides of the remaining touch-screen. Eliminate the voice. Centralize all the parts of the machine that the customer has to interact with. Keep his attention focused on a single area of the machine. Don’t give him conflicting signals (like "Authorizing transaction" when, in fact, you’re not authorizing the transaction) from different sources.

Trust me on this one, guys: Less Is More.

Apparently some folks who make these machines have realized this. Mrs. Decent Films tells me that a few years ago in her area they introduced clunky, complex machines like the ones described above–and they didn’t last. People wouldn’t use them. So they vanished, but in the last few months they’ve introduced new, streamlined machines that are much simpler and are a breeze to use.

So there’s hope. And eventually economic survival of the fittest will drive the evil machines above out of the market.

What's This?

Actually, it’s something called a "difference engine."

A model of one was presented today, June 14, back in 1822 to the Royal Astronomical Society.

In an accompanying paper, the inventer of the difference engine, Charles Babbage, explained how it worked and provided plans.

The Royal Society was impressed and agreed to underwrite Babbage’s attempt to build a genuine difference engine (rather than just a model).

Unfortunately, a variety of problems (including personal ones) hampered Babbage from doing this, and he was never able to complete the project. The one you see above was constructed by his son from parts in his workshop.

Now.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because Babbage’s difference engine was the ancestor of the machine you are using right now: the computer.

The difference engine was designed to automatically compute mathematical and astronomical tables (hence the Royal Astronomical Society’s interest in it). Babbage later revised his plans in an attempt to come up with a more powerful machine he called an "analytical engine" (a.k.a. "Difference Engine No. 2").

Though these machines were nothing compared to the computer you’re using at the moment, they still represented a fundamental technological shift that has changed the course of human civilization.

LEARN MORE ABOUT BABBAGE . . .

. . . AND HIS MARVELOUS CONTRAPTION.

What’s This?

Babbagedifferenceengine_2Actually, it’s something called a "difference engine."

A model of one was presented today, June 14, back in 1822 to the Royal Astronomical Society.

In an accompanying paper, the inventer of the difference engine, Charles Babbage, explained how it worked and provided plans.

The Royal Society was impressed and agreed to underwrite Babbage’s attempt to build a genuine difference engine (rather than just a model).

Unfortunately, a variety of problems (including personal ones) hampered Babbage from doing this, and he was never able to complete the project. The one you see above was constructed by his son from parts in his workshop.

Now.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because Babbage’s difference engine was the ancestor of the machine you are using right now: the computer.

The difference engine was designed to automatically compute mathematical and astronomical tables (hence the Royal Astronomical Society’s interest in it). Babbage later revised his plans in an attempt to come up with a more powerful machine he called an "analytical engine" (a.k.a. "Difference Engine No. 2").

Though these machines were nothing compared to the computer you’re using at the moment, they still represented a fundamental technological shift that has changed the course of human civilization.

LEARN MORE ABOUT BABBAGE . . .

. . . AND HIS MARVELOUS CONTRAPTION.

The Only Way to Fly

Caps_02From our "Why Didn’t I Think of That?" Department comes an idea so obvious (in retrospect) that it makes the wheel look like wild speculation.

Those clever lads (and/or lasses!) at Cirrus Aircraft have gone and made an airplane that is practically stupid proof.

Did you forget to top out your fuel tank? Did you fly into a snowstorm? Stall out? Got a busted hydraulic line? Don’t matter! Just pull a lever and the Cirrus Airframe Parachute System (CAPS) floats you down to the ground like that feather on Forrest Gump. Well, the impact is more like jumping off a ten-foot ladder (according to the literature), but – hey – let’s not get picky.

The plane also has a composite body which makes it lighter, yet stronger, than traditional airframes. This plane is giving the long dominant Cessna some Cirrus competition (heh).

To be honest, though, no aircraft can be made absolutely stupid proof. Ditch over water and you might still be toast.

Just, you know… really soggy toast.

Safely find out more HERE.