Curios & Humor – Page 21

From The Onion

Every blue moon or so, I’ll log in to The Onion just to see if they have anything funny. They usually do. Occasionally, they have something brilliantly funny. Unfortunately, they schmutz up their comedy with so much foul language and offensive content that it’s not enjoyable or recommendable, and so I seldom go there.

But here’s a good piece I just found:

Congress Abandons WikiConstitution

September 28, 2005 | Issue 41•39

WASHINGTON, DC—Congress scrapped the open-source, open-edit, online version of the Constitution Monday, only two months after it went live. "The idea seemed to dovetail perfectly with our tradition of democratic participation," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid said. "But when so-called ‘contributors’ began loading it down with profanity, pornography, ASCII art, and mandatory-assault-rifle-ownership amendments, we thought it might be best to cancel the project." Congress intends to restore the Constitution to its pre-Wiki format as soon as an unadulterated copy of the document can be found [SOURCE].

The problem of finding an unadulterated copy is more difficult than you might think since the fact is that we’ve had a functional WikiConstitution for a while now. For the last number of decades, nine black-robed hackers have been logging in without authorization to made changes in American constitutional law without going through the democratic process spelled out in the document itself.

A Feel-Good Film For The Whole Family

That’s just what Hollywood needs to pick itself up out of the boxoffice doldrums.

WATCH THE PREVIEW! (Quicktime)
(CHT to the reader who e-mailed!)

BTW . . .

Something else folks might try their hand at is identifying the THREE as-yet-unidentified sci-fi franchise references

HERE.

Earth-Mother Joan Live

So, you say you’re tired of the orthodox attitude of EWTN’s Mother Angelica and are looking for a nun with a progressive attitude? Look no further than PWTN (Progressive Word Television Network) and its Earth-Mother Sr. Joan Chittister, O.S.B. From "The Road from Rome" to "Heterodox Answers Live," the Curt Jester has created the television network of choice for Catholics whose viewpoint tilts to the left.

GET THE PARODY.

The Mountain Hare

Some folks in Italy have made a giant pink bunny that they’ve gone and put on a mountainside.

EXCERPTS:

The 200-foot-long toy rabbit lies on the side of the 5,000 foot high Colletto Fava mountain in northern Italy’s Piedmont region.

Viennese art group Gelatin designed the giant soft toy and say it was "knitted by dozens of grannies out of pink wool".

And Gelatin members say the bunny is not just for walking around – they are expecting hikers to climb its 20 foot sides and relax on its belly.

GET THE STORY.

Amazingly, the creators expect the bunny to stay on the mountain for 20 years. I don’t see how that’s possible, though, given the effects of weather and what the bunny is made out of. After the first few rainstorms, I think the bunny would start getting pretty ripe, and 20 years is an awful long time to be exposed to the elements.

Stamp Of Disapproval

The Angry Radical Traditionalist now has a customized postage stamp with which to post grumpy letters to his bishop. Using the personal-design technology approved by the U.S. Postal Service, these stamps feaure a mushroom cloud with the caption "Vatican II: Mass Destruction."

Before Angry Radical Traditionalists who think such stamps are a wonderful idea rush out to order a package — only $16.99! — let me offer some words of caution: Simmer down.

There is no quicker way to be dismissed as a crank than by decorating your mail with stuff like this. Those on the receiving end of a large amount of mail take seriously letters that make the writer’s point in as courteous and succinct a manner possible. Crisply professional business letters demonstrate that the writer is someone who is open to reason and thus it is worth trying to resolve this person’s dilemma. An envelope with a stamp like this might be posted on the lounge bulletin board at the local chancery for the amusement of the staff, but the letter writer’s problem will likely not be taken seriously.