A reader writes:
The Catechism states that we should accept the Eucharist at least once a year, especially during Easter. I am a practicing Catholic, but have not presented myself for the Eucharist for the last 8 months, since I moved in with my girlfriend. I entered into this situation out of convenience and without knowledge of the severity of this sin. On going to confession, I learned that I cannot be forgiven for this sin until the situation is resolved. My confessor explained the sin of scandal, and that even removing sexual intercourse from the situation, by presenting myself for the Eucharist, I could influence another to enter into the same sin. I am writing to find out if I should continue to refrain from receiving the Eucharist until I have resolved the problem or if I should make an exception and present myself to receive the Holy Sacrament during the Easter Season after confessing my other sins as the Catechism appears to suggest.
I know that my situation is dangerous and want to come to some solution, but for many reasons, mostly, obviously my own unwillingness or fear of standing up for what I know to be right, have not been able to. I long to receive Christ in Communion, and hope that I come back to full participation in the Church as soon as possible.
Do you have any guidance concerning the Catechism’s statement concerning this and also concerning how to handle my cohabitation situation?
Okay, there are several issues here:
First, I want to compliment you for asking the question. This shows that God is working in your heart and that you are responding to his grace.
Second, what you need to do immediately is stop conjugal relations with your girlfriend (if you have not already done so).
Third, what you need to do is stop cohabiting with your girlfriend unless and until such time as you are validly married in the Catholic Church or with a dispensation for a non-Catholic wedding.
Fourth, you cannot confess your other sins and be validly absolved. One must repent of all of one’s mortal sins and, to the best of one’s ability, confess all of them for the absolution to be valid. Otherwise it is a sacrilege against the sacrament of penance.
Fifth, I’m not 100% convinced of what your confessor said about scandal. The reason is not that scandal in such matters isn’t a grave sin. It is that for scandal to exist there has to be a knowledge of the scandal by others and a likelihood that those individuals will be drawn into sin as a result of their knowledge. I don’t know whether there are such individuals in your case. If there are, your confessor is right.
Sixth, the Easter Duty is not an absolute. According to the Code of Canon Law:
Canon 920
§1. After being initiated into the Most Holy Eucharist, each of the faithful is obliged to receive holy communion at least once a year.
§2. This precept must be fulfilled during the Easter season unless it is fulfilled for a just cause at another time during the year.
Being in a state of mortal sin throughout the Easter season is a just cause to fulfill the Easter obligation at another time during the year.
"Just cause" is a term of art that indicates that the timing of the fulfillment of the obligation is not grave matter. The obligation itself may be grave matter, but the fact that only a just cause–as opposed to a grave cause–is needed to alter the timing shows that the timing is not itself grave. Consequently, there would not be a new grave sin if one failed to repent and receive Communion during the Easter season. There would only be the state of grave sin one is already in.
Even though there would not be a new grave sin by fulfilling one’s Easter duty later in the year, this is no excuse to keep living in an objectively sinful situation. The thing to do is to stop conjugal relations immediately, stop cohabiting as soon as possible, go to confession, and fulfill one’s Easter obligation in the Easter season (which, for purposes of the obligation, runs from Ash Wednesday to Trinity Sunday here in America).
Hope that helps. I encourage you to continue to respond to God’s grace and to get these matters taken care of now, and I encourage other readers to pray for you and your girlfriend.
God bless!
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