The Vatican Response That Isn’t

Vatican_response(Sigh.)

People may not like what I have to say in this post, but it’s one of those obligation-to-tell-the-truth situations because there are things out there in the Catholic press right now that are (at best) misleading and as someone who is aware of this fact and who works in the setting-the-record-straight business I have something of an obligation to try to clarify matters.

First, the standard disclaimers: As anyone who reads this blog knows, I think that John Kerry’s support of the American abortion holocaust is horrendous. I would like to see him and every other Catholic pro-abort politician slapped with severe ecclesiastical sanctions. What they are doing is a crime against humanity of unimaginable proportions, and I think they should be prosecuted to the full extent of ecclesiastical law, including–if necessary–creating stronger ecclesiastical laws with which to prosecute them. (That’s the pope’s job, though, not mine.)

Now, you are probably aware that there is a canonical suit currently filed with the Archbishop of Boston by a young canonist named Marc Balestrieri, who is part of the Gen X crop of orthodox canon lawyers who will play an important role in the future of the Church. But the Gen Xers are still rather green at this point, and I find things in their writings that either don’t quite square with the law or that involve (at best) very dubious interpretations of the law. (This is in contrast to the Greatest Generation generation and the Baby Boom generation of canon lawyers, many of whom actively seek to subvert the law.)

I’m afraid that Mr. Balestrieri’s suit against Kerry is problematic. I read the original complaint (online here), and was unconvinced that he had found a canonical way to nail Kerry for his pro-abort stance. Mind you, I think there are ways to do that, and the Archbishop of Boston or one of several dicasteries in the Roman curia could choose to use Balestrieri’s complaint as the occasion to come down hard on Kerry, I just don’t think that he has put together a set of reasons that demand this response (which might not be forthcoming even if his reasoning was impeccable). In particular, his assertion that Kerry’s “I’m personally opposed but . . . ” stance amounts to heresy appears to be very problematic, for reasons I will explain below.

Yesterday the news broke that there had been a “Vatican response” to his case and that he had received a letter (online here; evil file format [.pdf] warning!) from Fr. Basil Cole at the Dominican House of Studies. Fr. Cole had been asked by Fr. Augustin DiNoia of the CDF to send Balestrieri an unofficial response to a couple of questions he had posed to the CDF.

In his letter (which is written as an informal personal opinion and not as a formal reply), Fr. Cole argues (plausibly) that direct support for abortion (i.e., saying that abortion is a morally permissible thing) is theologically heretical and can (in the conditions described in canon 751) become the canonical crime of heresy, triggering automatic excommunication. All this is fine.

At the very end of the letter, Fr. Cole has a very brief treatment of advocating a civil right (as opposed to a moral right) to abortion, and he states:

[I]f a Catholic publicly and obstinately supports the civil right to abortion, knowing that the Church teaches officially against that legislation, he or she commits that heresy envisioned by Can. 751 of the Code. Provided that the presumption of knowledge of the law and penalty (Can. 15, § 2) and imputability (Can. 1321, § 3) are not rebutted in the external forum, one is automatically excommunicated according to Can. 1364, § 1.

Well, Balestrieri published Cole’s letter to his web page and advertised it as a Vatican response (see the graphic above, which is from a screenshot of his web page this morning). The letter then set off a firestorm of “Kerry automatically excommunicated” posts and news stories on the Internet.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to apply to Kerry’s situation. Fr. Cole appears to be speaking of advocating a civil right to abortion in a way that Kerry is not (or would not if called upon to explain himself to a Church tribunal). Kerry has expressed his opposition to abortion and justified his support of a civil right to abortion not saying that he thinks such a civil right is a good thing in and of itself (which is what Fr. Cole seems to be thinking of), but by (wrongly) appealing to the pluralistic nature of our society.

If called upon to explain himself by a Church tribunal, Kerry would be able to plausibly argue in this way:

I do not support abortion. I have repeatedly and publicly said that I accept the Church’s teaching on this point as an article of faith. I have said this in front of the nation in the presidential debates. And at that time I said that because of the nature of our society in America, I cannot impose that article of faith on others. In saying this, I appealed to the same kind of considerations that John Paul II appealed to in Evangelium Vitae 73, in which he said that in circumstances where it is impossible to remove or ameliorate an abortion law, it is permissible for an elected official whose personal opposition to abortion is well known to support a law that contains provisions allowing abortion.

I am such a politician. My personal opposition is well known. In fact, after the debates my pesonal opposition is better known than that of any other Catholic politician. Yet I am telling you that removing the civil right to abortion in America would cause a huge convulsion to our society that would be worse than leaving the civil right in place. I therefore do not support the civil right as a good thing in and of itself but as something that the nature of American society presently requires.

Heresy involves denying or doubting specific propositions, and I am with the Church on the evil of abortion. I do not doubt or deny any propositions of a theological nature. What I doubt or deny is that the civil right to abortion could be removed from American law without causing an enormous cataclysm in American society that would be worse than leaving the civil right in place. This is not a matter that has been definitively treated by the Chruch’s ordinary or extraordinary magisterium and therefore is not capable of triggering the Code of Canon Law’s provisions regarding the crime of heresy. Further, since John Paul II in Evangelium Vitae noted that there are situations where elected officials can support legislation that contains abortion provisions because the attempt to overturn this legislation would be ineffective or produce a worse situation, it is clear that I am not committing heresy, however much one may disagree with my stance on this matter.

If he made such a statement I would regard it as a hypocritical, duplicitous, and flatly erroneous position to take. Abortion must end in America, and efforts to end it would not be worse than the 1.5 million deaths it causes every year in this country. So Kerry’s claim would be howlingly wrong, but howlingly wrong does not make it heretical in the sense that the Code of Canon Law defines that concept, which requires (among other things) a matter to have been infallibly settled. The Church has made no such determination regarding the sociological situation in America. It thus would be extraordinarily difficult to show that heresy has been committed by an individual taking the kind of position described above.

Now it turns out, as Ed Peters informs us, that Fr. Cole has issued a clarification indicating that neither he nor Fr. DiNoia knew that they were talking to a guy who was a litigant in a case. They thought that they were helping out a canon law student (Balestrieri is pursuing a doctorate; he already has a standard canon law degree on the basis of which he has practiced) and that the reply Cole gave was in no way an official reply from the Vatican (as is obvious from the text of the letter itself) and was a comment on principle not directed to the case of Sen. Kerry. Indeed, Cole’s letter doesn’t even seem to engage Kerry’s actual position.

Cole says in part:

Neither Fr. DiNoia nor I had any knowledge that he was going to “go after” Kerry or any other Catholic figure for their public stance concerning the evil of abortion. So, in my letter to Marc Balestrieri, I began by mentioning that my letter is a personal and private opinion to him about anyone who would publically and persistently teach that abortion is not morally prohibited. It in no way is authoritative from the Congregation nor was I representing the Congregation.

Further, the CDF has now issued a statement saying Cole’s letter is not an official determination on anything concerning the Kerry case.

Peters comments:

It is a pity that a refined and thoughtful letter by a thinker of Fr. Cole’s credentials was so mischaracterized (as if it were a Vatican determination on a key point in Balestrieri’s case), and that so many people (eager perhaps for something finally to be done about the Kerry scandal) relied on those mischaracterizations (despite the plain wording of Cole’s letter itself!) and circulated them uncritically.

Whatever else happens now (and I fear several repercussions actually), I think a gaff like this appears to be is going to make it even more difficult for Balestrieri to pursue his heresy case against Kerry, a case that was already facing some significant procedural and substantive canonical hurdles.

GET THE STORY.

Open Society = Vulnerability + Daisy Cutters

In the weeks after 9/11, I found myself thinking like this:

It’s true that the open society we have in America made us vulnerable to the kind of infiltration-attack that the terrorists pulled off. In a xenophobic, totalitarian state, it would be much harder to get foreign sleeper agents in place to execute that kind of attack. People of potentially dangerous nationalities could simply be excluded from the state. That, after all, is a defensive tactic that has been used by many societies in the past (e.g., the Spainish expulsion of the Moors after the liberation of Spain from Moorish domination). But we’re not that kind of society, and our openness to other societies leaves us vulnerable to this kind of infiltration.

But in addition to the free movement of people, the openness of our society also means something else: the free movement of information and resources. We have all kinds of innovation in this country, both technological and economic, that is simply impossible in closed societies. That’s why our military and our economy are so much stronger than others. It’s the reason that we won the Cold War and the Soviet Union didn’t. The free flow of information and resources in America let us overmatch the Soviet Union, which as a closed society simply couldn’t keep up in the end.

So the openness of our society leads to both its vulnerability and its strenth.

The same applies to the situation we presently face with al-Qa’ida. Our openness allowed 9/11 to happen, and it allowed all of the really cool munitions we used to liberate Afghanistan (the supposedly geographically invincible country) in a matter of weeks.

So, as I put it at the time: “Our openness means that you get to take a poke at us . . . and then that we get to drop daisy cutters on your head.”

HERE’S AN ARTICLE from someone on the Muslim side of the divide who acknowledges something akin to the same thing.

Fascinating read.

He argues that a clash of civiliations is indeed afoot, but that it is a clash destined to be won by the West, that Islamic society is simply incapable of keeping up in the end. It is, from an American perspective, a hopeful recognition that 9/11 represented not the advent of a massive, unending clash between the West and Islam, but the last gasp of a dying Islamism against an unstoppable West.

Openness’ll do that for ya.

Journalist Increases Own Chance Of Going To Hell

Just before the Dan Rather scandal broke, I was preparing to write a post about the bias and incompetence of the media. It seemed that RaTHergate was making the point for me, so I decided to wait.

Sunday morning I read an editorial that made me decide to not wait any more.

I know that the bias and incompetence of the news media won’t come as . . . well, news to anyone, but my experience this year has given me new insight into the depth of the media’s bias and incompetence. As a result of the Catholic Answers voters guide, I’ve had to give tons of media interviews (some of them linked here). I thus get put in the fascinating position of (a) knowing what I actually said to the reporter and (b) seeing what the reporter attributes to me in print.

Lemme tell ya: It ain’t even close!

It amazes me how badly reporters butcher things. I’ll try to write a post soon that provides some detail on how The Game works, but for now let me focus on one particular editorial:

Will a Kerry vote send faithful straight to hell? by Bob Keeler of New York’s Newsday.

Here’s how he opens the piece:

Karl Keating says I’m going to hell. And we haven’t even met.

This is a “grabber” meant to get the reader’s attention and engross him in reading the article. Fine. Grabbers are good. But . . . here’s the deal . . . grabbers have to be accurate or, if the grabber involves a little hyperbole, you have to correct the misimpression immediately.

This grabber isn’t accurate, and it creates a misimpression that is not immediately corrected: namely, that Karl Keating says Bob Keeler and people like him are going to hell. Karl is thus immediately painted as a kind of vicious extremist, an impression that is reinforced by the knife-twisting comment “And we haven’t even met.”

Keeler then states:

Keating runs “Catholic Answers,” a conservative lay group based in San Diego. Its Web site, catholic.com, offers a voter’s guide to this election, with five “non-negotiable” issues: abortion, euthanasia, embryonic stem-cell research, human cloning and gay marriage.

In a published interview about the guide [in an unnamed competitor’s newspaper, the San Jose Mercury News], Keating has said: “It’s a serious sin to vote for moral evils, especially those that are so clearly opposed to the church’s teachings.”

In other words, vote for a candidate with the wrong views on these issues, and you’re well on your way to hell. Since I plan to vote for John Kerry for president, Keating’s argument presents me – and millions of Catholics like me – a pretty bleak prognosis for the life to come.

This is a gross distortion, and Keeler knows it.

How do I know that? . . . You’ll see.

Keeler goes on to state:

Catholic Answers doesn’t actually mention President George W. Bush or Sen. John Kerry, but you’d have to be pretty obtuse not to get the idea.

This charge is flat wrong. If he had been doing his job, Keeler would have called Catholic Answers to find out our position on questions like whether we’d say he is going to hell or whether we are supporting any particular candidates. Being an editorialist doesn’t give you license to just sit back and spout off half-baked conjectures when it’s easy enough to pick up the phone and ask whether your conjecture is correct or not. Failing to check easily checkable facts is what is known in the business as “reckless disregard for the truth,” and that is what Keeler displayed by failing to pick up the phone.

Keeler is an editorialist, and being an editorialist is different than being a reporter. Being an editorialist means that you get to give opinions, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to check facts any more. A good editorialist checks the factuality of his claims before he makes them in print, but a good editorialist is not what Bob Keeler showed himself to be in this piece.

I’m pleased to report that not all Newsday people show the same reckless disregard for the truth that Keeler does.

In fact, a reporter from Newsday did call us . . . the day after Keeler’s piece ran (though I wouldn’t know Keeler’s piece even existed for another two days). Keeler didn’t get the answers I gave that reporter . . . because he didn’t call.

With the reporter who did call, I laboriously pointed out that Catholic Answers is a non-partisan organization that does not endorse or disendorse any candidate or party. I explained that the guide was written before the election and before it was known who the candidates were. I explained that the voters guide offers principles to be used in all races (and all elections, for that matter, not just this one), and it is not directed at this year’s presidential race. This last point is clearly made in the voters guide itself, which raises questions about whether Keeler even read the guide before spouting off.

Keeler’s insinuation that Catholic Answers is endorsing a candidate if flatly inaccurate. I explained to the reporter who didn’t display Keeler’s reckless disregard for the truth, Catholic Answers explains the principles of the Catholic faith, including the moral principles involved in voting, and that it is up to the individual to apply these principles to particular races. I explained that this is strictly a matter of principle, and if every politician in the world decided to adopt the principles enumerated in the voters guide, that would be just great. In fact, as I pointed out, the guide expressly states that one should not vote based on party affiliation.

Keeler next states:

Other interest groups aren’t so delicate. For one example, check out the nasty Kerry cartoon on the National Rifle Association’s Political Victory Fund site, which brags about defeating Al Gore in 2000 and slobbers over the chance to bury Kerry.

Or take a look at the Natural Resources Defense Council site, which isn’t a voter’s guide, but offers an overwhelmingly negative assessment of Bush’s polluter-friendly record on the environment.

What does this have to do with anything? I don’t see any “religion and politics” theme here. Keeler has lunged away from his principal theme in order to go after purely secular concerns.

Of course, one knows what he is trying to do here. He is trying to create a guilt-by-association smear against Catholic Answers by placing it alongside groups who comment on particular candidates in a way that Catholic Answers does not.

The tactic would be less blatant if he was able to cite interest groups that were plausibly associated with Catholic Answers–i.e., other Catholic ones–but Keeler apparently can’t name any and must resort to citing secular interest groups that have made the kind of comments he wants via suggestion to tar Catholic Answers with even though by his own admission Catholic Answers hasn’t committed this kind of action.

Why bring up irrelevant secular groups with no connection to Catholic Answers if you aren’t trying some kind of guilt-by-manufactured-association smear?

Keeler then states:

Not everyone, of course, has the resources of the NRA or the NRDC. Take the folks who created the votingcatholic.org site. Though I’ve never exchanged a word with Karl Keating, I do know some of these smart and committed young people, through the College of the Holy Cross and Pax Christi, the international Catholic peace movement.

These are not crazies or heretics. They take their lead, in fact, from this quote from the nation’s Catholic bishops: “The Christian faith is an integral unity, and thus it is incoherent to isolate some particular element to the detriment of the whole of Catholic doctrine. A political commitment to a single isolated aspect of the Church’s social doctrine does not exhaust one’s responsibility towards the common good.”

A-ha! So Keeler is associated with the votingcatholic.org folks, a bunch of college students who created their site specifically because they didn’t like the Catholic Answers voters guide.

Keeler certainly describes them in glowing terms. He emphasizes his personal relationship with them, he describes them as “smart and committed young people,” he associates them with institutions that presumably will be looked upon favorably by his New York audience, he assures us that “these are not crazies or heretics,” and he portrays them as simply furthering the goals of the U.S. bishops (a disingenuous perception that the votingcatholic.org folks studiously seek to maintain).

The contrast is thus between warm, fuzzy young people who I personally know and cold, prickly bad guy who I don’t know and didn’t bother to call so that he couldn’t contradict the charges I wanted to make against him and thus deflate my editorial.

Keeler then devotes three full paragraphs to unfavorably comparing Catholic Answers’ voters guide to an entire web site, praising the latter for including issues that couldn’t possibly fit into a 2000 word booklet. He concludes by saying:

It’s [votingcatholic.org] an excellent site to help Catholics decide.

Despite the fact that, as Karl pointed out, votingcatholic.org seriously misrepresents Catholic teaching on abortion (scroll down).

Now up to this point, what’s been the impression created by Keeler concerning what Karl thinks about who is going to hell?

That’s right: Keeler has not only suggested but stated flat out that Karl thinks people like him are going to hell. He did so not on the basis of an actual quote from Karl saying this but by stitching together things said in different places so that they suggested the conclusion he wanted.

He didn’t ask Karl about going to hell to see if his conclusion was correct or not, so he presents it in an unqualified form, without any of the “Only God knows a person’s conscience” qualifiers that Karl always answers with whenever directly asked if someone is going to hell.

But the Newsday reporter who did call asked me this question. He specifically asked if people who vote for Kerry are going to hell (perhaps because he’d read Keeler’s screed before calling). I answered him with all the nuance that the Church expects on a question like that. If Keeler had bothered to call, he would have gotten the same kind of answer and it would have deflated the central charge he wanted to make in his editorial.

To keep that from happening, he chose not to call in reckless disregard for the truth.

But after letting the charge that Karl thinks Keeler is going to hell marinate in the minds of his readers for 550 words of his 750-word editorial, Keeler then decides to put in some fire insurance for himself, lest Catholic Answers vociferously denounce his central assertion.

Three-quarters of the way through the article, Keeler says this:

To be fair to Keating, his voter’s guide does offer an exception: “In some political races, each candidate takes a wrong position on one or more issues involving non-negotiable moral principles. In such a case you may vote for the candidate who takes the fewest such positions or who seems least likely to be able to advance immoral legislation, or you may choose to vote for no one.”

So despite the impression that Keeler has studiously sought to create for the last 550 words, Karl does NOT, in fact, say that everyone who votes for Kerry is going to hell. If there are situations in which one can vote for candidates who are wrong on some of the five non-negotiables then obviously you wouldn’t go to hell for doing so in such situations. Therefore the comment from the San Jose Mercury News was a general statement of principle that did not admit the conclusion Keeler drew from it.

Keeler knew this—because he admits it by quoting the voters guide’s statement indicating this—but he chose to bury the fact at the end of his hit-piece editorial after striving for 550 words to create the opposite impression.

Keeler then states:

Keating would argue that only his five issues are truly non-negotiable, but many Catholics also include such matters as war and peace, the slaughter of civilians, the death penalty, and caring for the poor.

Keeler once again is flat wrong, and because he didn’t call.

I had a lengthy discussion with the reporter who did call about the principles that were used to select the five non-negotiables mentioned in the guide and why the other issues Keeler names aren’t included. There were two main criteria: (1) There has to be an official statement of Catholic teaching indicating that Catholics can never support the issue and (2) it has to be an issue under active discussion in America.

Keeler is wrong therefore to say that “Keating would argue that only his five issues are truly non-negotiable.” This is flat wrong. There are many issues, and Karl would acknowledge this, that are also non-negotiable but that are not included in the guide because they are not under discussion in America.

Keeler himself names one of them: the slaughter of civilians. No American politician is advocating slaughtering civilians, as was done with the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the firebombing of Dresden. If politicians were advocating the slaughter of civilians, that issue would be the sixth non-negotiable. In fact, Karl himself has repeatedly written in print about the evil of those bombings and the fact that they were not supportable by Catholic moral teaching. In fact, he’s taken heat from Catholics who obstinately disagreed. The only reason that this issue isn’t mentioned in the voters guide is that the conscience of the nation has progressed enough in this area that no politician in his right mind would advocate such a thing at present.

Keeler may be right that “many Catholics also include such matters as war and peace” and “the death penalty” among non-negotiables, but as I explained to the reporter who bothered calling, these Catholics would be out of line with Church teaching.

In fact, I quoted to him Cardinal Ratzinger’s statement that there can be a “legitimate diversity of opinion” among Catholics on the issues of whether to go to war or whether to apply the death penalty. Yet Keeler tries to encourage Catholics to think that these may rightly be regarded as non-negotiables when the Church’s chief doctrinal officer says otherwise.

Further, I pointed out to the reporter who called that the Catechism of the Catholic Church itself points out that there are situations where war is just and that the state does have the right to use capital punishment. Yet Keeler wants to have Catholics think that these issues are non-negotiable though the Church’s official, worldwide catechism says otherwise.

The other issue Keeler names–the care of the poor–is indeed a non-negotiable in the sense that society has an obligation through some means to care for the basic needs of those who are unable to provide for themselves, but this obligation is sufficiently general that it does not result in a particular governmental policy that must be supported, and bishops have pointed out that Catholics may legitimately take different positions on how the poor are best helped. Thus, as I pointed out to the Newsday reporter who called, Catholics may legitimately think that the best way to help the poor is to lower taxes so that businesses will create more jobs or they may hold that the best way to help the poor is to raise taxes so that a government program can be created to help the poor. The generalized obligation to help the poor thus does not result in a non-negotiable “all Catholics must support this policy” view, as the subject of abortion and the other non-negotiables mentioned in the voters guide do.

Keeler then states:

So, even by Keating’s standards, I feel comfortable that Kerry is far less dangerous to human life than Bush. Even Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the church’s chief doctrinal officer, gives comfort to Catholics like me, who don’t like Kerry’s pro-choice stand: He says Catholics can vote for pro-choice candidates, if they vote despite that position, not because of it, and if there are “proportionate reasons.” My reasons: Bush has averted few, if any, abortions, but killed thousands of Iraqi civilians.

Hmmmmm. . . . So it’s okay to quote Cardinal Ratzinger as an authority when he says something Keeler likes (like there are situations where one can vote for such candidates), but not when he says something Keeler doesn’t like (like war and the death penalty are not non-negotiables). Presumably Keeler knows about the latter statement because it is in the very same memorandum that Keeler quotes on this point. So he either knows about it or is so reckless in his disregard for the truth that he can’t be bothered to read the source he is quoting!

In fact, with the reporter who called, I had a substantial discussion of what kind of proportionate reason is needed to vote for a pro-abort president. I walked him through the logic showing that the election of such an individual would result in an average of nine million additional murders by extending the abortion holocaust, so you’d need a reason proportionate to that.

Individual voters will have to decide for themselves whether there is such a reason in the present election, but if there is one, it certainly isn’t the lame-o reason Keeler gives: “Bush has averted few, if any, abortions, but killed thousands of Iraqi civilians.”

There is no doubt that the abortion holocaust would be extended by the election of a pro-abort president and result in millions of more deaths that would overmatch by three orders of magnitude thousands of civilians who have died due to collateral damage. Keeler also neglects the different moral characters of the actions, as abortion involves the deliberate killing of an innocent and is never justified whereas collateral damage involves the non-deliberate killing of innocents and therefore can be permitted for “proportionate reasons” under the law of double-effect.

Keeler then finishes with the utter irrelevancy:

Bottom line: There are plenty of one-issue voter’s guides, but Catholics and non-Catholics alike should devote the time to studying a wider array of issues before voting.

As if five non-negotiables amounted to a one issue voter guide! Keeler is in such mental thralldom to standard liberal talking points that his ability to count has been impaired! In the mathematics that apply to the universe I live in, five issues is “a wider array of issues” than one issue, but Keeler is determined to suggest that Catholic Answers is urging single issue voting because that’s the standard liberal talking point whenever abortion gets mentioned.

Let me offer my own bottom line on this affair: Neither Karl nor I would say that Keeler is definitely going to hell, but the number of journalistic sins he committed here (displaying reckless disregard for the truth by not calling to check easily checkable claims, misleading the reader for three-quarters of the piece before making an implicit admission that the central claim of the piece is wrong, and misleading his readers about the teaching of the Catholic Church on various issues) certainly didn’t help matters.

Keeler’s editorial brings to mind the biblical saying: “Ye have not because ye ask not.”

The reporter who did call brings to mind the saying: “Ask and ye shall receive.”

Keeler wrote a barking moonbat editorial because he didn’t bother checking his facts, and the Newsday reporter who did call got what amounted to a point-by-point refutation of everything Keeler said in his editorial (without me even knowing of its existence at the time).

There’s a word for journalists who show the kind of reckless disregard for the truth that Keeler did.

That word is “hack.”

And that’s exactly what Bob Keeler showed himself to be by writing this piece.

His bio line says that he is an editorialist who used to be a religion reporter.

In a world of Jayson Blairs and Dan RaTHers, perhaps Newsday should go back and examine the articles Keeler wrote when he was a religion reporter to see if he showed the same reckless disregard for the truth back then.

(BTW, What’s mine is mine.)

Your DVDs Are Obsolete!

. . . or they will be . . . sooner than you imagine.

Here’s the deal:

You know how George Lucas announced at first that he wouldn’t release the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD until after Episode 3 comes out in 2005–then he released it suddenly last month?

You know how they are currently releasing Star Trek: Voyager season-by-season on DVD and then decided to release the original Star Trek series on DVD at the same time–instead of maximizing their profits by getting one series completely out and then releasing the next so that it doesn’t overtax the Trekkies’ pocketbooks?

You know how they are currently talking about releasing Star Trek: Enterprise on DVD next year even though the series isn’t even complete yet (contrary to the normal way Star Trek series are released)?

You didn’t know that? Well, now you do.

There’s a reason for all this sudden releasing of DVDs.

The reason is called Blu-Ray.

Blu-Ray is widely viewed as the REPLACEMENT for DVDs. It is expected to make DVDs obsolete.

The Blu-Ray format uses disks the size of CDs/DVDs but packs 25-50 gigs of data onto them (that’s 13-26 hours of programming, compared to 2-4 hours of programming in the DVD format). One Blu-Ray disk could hold a whole season of a TV program.

And if you want video quality rather than quantity, Blu-Ray beats DVD by similar margins. It can pack far more HDTV onto a disk than something in DVD format could.

As a result, Blu-Ray is expected to be the hot new format that will make DVD obsolete. It has the major industry players behind it, who are currently developing commercial versions of their Blu-Ray players/recorders.

These are expected to hit the market in 2005-2006.

That’s why we’re getting all these sooner-than-expected DVD releases right now.

The companies are afraid that Blu-Ray will roll right over DVD and quickly make it obsolete, depriving the companies of their chance to make money off the DVD format. So they’re rushing DVD releases of their programs out in anticipation of Blu-Ray bursting onto the market.

Is this a sound marketing strategy?

Well . . . I’m glad to be able to get DVDs of favored stuff sooner-than-expected. But I doubt the release of Blu-Ray will change things too much. I’ve already got Bablyon 5 on DVD, so I’m not inclined to buy it on Blu-Ray just so I can reduce the number of disks I have to put into the player in order to watch the whole thing in one run.

You’ll have to decide for yourself whether you want to buy DVDs now or wait for Blu-Ray versions of your favorite programs to start to be released (probably several years from now).

FIND OUT MORE ABOUT BLU-RAY.

Mmmmmmmm! . . . Umami!

What comes next in the following list?

1) Sweet

2) Salty

3) Sour

4) Bitter

5) ________

You may be drawing a blank (pun intended). If so, it’s entirely understandable. Traditional Western cooking identifies only the four items named above as the “basic tastes” our taste buds are designed sensitive to. But it’s recently (in the year 2000) been proven that there is a fifth basic taste that our taste buds are designed to detect.

The name of the fifth basic taste?

Umami.

No, I didn’t just insult your mother. Umami is the name of the taste. It’s a fusion of a couple of Japanese words that together mean something like “essence of savor.” It was first identified in 1907 by a Japanese professor named Kikunae Ikeda, who also found a way to crystalize from seaweed broth the substance that causes this taste. He then sold the process to a company named Ajinomoto, which is makes about a third of all the 1.5 million metric tons of this substance that is used as a food flavoring every year in the world.

Despite the exotic origin of the good professor’s artifically distilled substance (i.e., seaweed broth), national versions of the substance are actually very common. In fact, it is the most common amino acid in the food we eat, found in virtually anything with protein. Our bodies even make the stuff. It’s part of us. Humans have a umami taste.

It’s also in loads of things we eat: meat, fish, fowl, cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, seaweed, soy sauce, green tea, red wine, and a host of others. As a result, umami is an extraordinarily common taste . . . so common in fact that Americans don’t normally identify it as a separate taste. It’s in too many of our foods.

Accent
If you want to get a full strength taste sensation of umami, here’s what to do: Go to your grocery store (or simply your kitchen) and get a container of Accent flavor enhancer. It has just one ingredient: the artificial umami-inducing substance that Prof. Kikunae distilled. Put a little of the Accent in your mouth (or dissolve it in water and hold that in your mouth) and in a few seconds you will experience full strength umami.

It a kind of “meaty” flavor (unsurprisingly, since the stuff is in meat). Almost like salty, but not salty.

Once you taste it, you can instantly identify it in foods you’ve eaten in the past. After I did the Accent test, I immediately identified it as something I taste when eating very ripe tomatoes (ripe tomatoes have ten times the amount of the umami-causing substance as unripe ones).

While doing some web searching about umami, I found a good number of articles on it. Here are two of the more informative:

FIRST ARTICLE (WARNING! Evil file format! [.pdf])

SECOND ARTICLE

Now, at this point you may be all curious to go out and try the Accent test to find out what umami tastes like. Good! But you may be a little less anxious to do so once I tell you the name of the substance Prof. Kikunae distilled from seaweed broth.

The ubiquitous amino acid that causes umami is glutamic acid. That may not mean much to you. (It didn’t to me, though I take its derivative L-glutamine as a nutritional supplement for muscle building.) The name of the artificial version that Prof. Kikunae discovered, however, is much more well known: It’s monosodium glutamate or MSG.

MSG has gotten a bad rap in recent years, with some people absolutely convinced that the substance is pure evil and others equally convinced that it has no harmful effects at all. However that may be, a small taste of MSG for purposes of identifying the taste umami is worth it.

After all, if I’ve got a basic taste that I never knew about, I want to know what that taste is like!

(What I want to know now is whether there is yet another basic taste–hot–as reckoned in traditional Chinese cooking. Whether “hot” or “spicy” is a distinct taste is something I’ve looked into a bit and would love to see thoroughly argued.)

Beans Snack!!!

Beansnack1
Y’all may remember a while ago I mentioned that when I go to the Japanese market for low-carb noodles, that–just to figure out what kind of product I’m holding in my hand–I often have to rely on tiny nutritional labels slapped on by the importer. Sometimes the product name on the label is kind of comically descriptive, like “Corn Snack.”

Well, I can’t eat Corn Snack (too high in carbs), but I just found one I can eat: Beans Snack!

I am so totally amused by Beans Snack. It has so many great things going for it.

1) With only six grams of carb per serving, and three of that fiber, I can indulge in Beans Snack . . . in moderation.

2) It has a really cool package with all these little green pea Japanese warrior-lookin’ dudes performing incomprehensible tasks. They are so cool! I wonder if they’re the Japanese equivalent of the California Raisins (remember those “Heard It Through The Grape Vine” commercials about fifteen years ago?). Maybe the Beans Snack pea-warriors are part of a major advertising campaign over there or something. I sure hope so.

Beansnack2
3) The helpful English nutritional label was written by someone who speaks Japanese rather than English as his native language. You can tell because of the Engrish name of the product: “Beans Snack.”

Now, obviously that’s not what we could call such a product in English. We’d have fancy-schmancy made-up name like “Beanoritos” or something. But I assume that’s the case in Japanese, too. “Beans Snack” is probably an attempted description and not a translation of the product’s name (which I assume is either “Calbee” or “Saya Endo Sappari Shio-Aji”; probably the latter). Yet a native-English speaker wouldn’t have called it that, as you can tell by two things:

a) The principle ingredient of Beans Snack isn’t beans at all but green peas (hence the little green pea warrior dudes). A native English-speaker would know that green peas aren’t considered beans (at least the way they are popularly spoken of, regardless of what a botanist might tell you).

b) We’ve got a plural adjective here: “Beans.” The thing is, English doesn’t have plural adjectives. We pluralize our nouns, but not our adjectives. Thus we might have “a bunch of grapes” (“grape” functioning as a noun) but not “grapes soda” (“grape” functioning as an adjective). In Japanese, the rules regarding pluralization are very different: There isn’t any, at least normally. Japanese nouns (and adjectives) don’t inflect (change form) for number, so they are neither singular nor plural (or both singular and plural, depending on how you look at it).

Beansnack3
The Japanese-speaking label-writer knew that English does have plural nouns and misinterpreted “bean” as a noun in this case. Since peas normally come in a group, he used what he thought was a proper English plural form, not realizing that here the word is an adjective and adjectives in English don’t inflect for number.

4) Beans Snack actually tastes good! It has a kind of . . . well, green pea taste. A little salty. A little sweet, but not very much. It has a nice, crunchy texture. After sampling it, I find myself thinking “Hey, I’d like some more Beans Snack now!” It’s one of those hard-to-eat-just-one snacks.

Low carb . . . cute package . . . comical and interesting language issue . . . good taste. What more could you want in a snack?

Three cheers for Beans Snack!!!

Group Includes Vile Suggestion In Ad

Okay, remember how I pointed out Kerry’s despicable attempt to make political hay by turning Mary Cheney against her will into a political weapon to be used against her father?

That was me criticizing someone on the Left for a vile attempt to exploit the issue of homosexuality.

Now let me criticize someone on the Right for a vile attempt to use homosexuality to make political hay.

There is a draft of a new ad out by a group called the Club for Growth. I don’t know anything about this group except that they produce Right-leaning political ads (of which I have previously seen one or two on TV).

Now they have an ad up (at the very top of this web page) that tries to poke fun at Kerry’s flip-flopping in a semi-humorous way. It involves showing people unable to commit to a decision in extreme and absurd situations.

One of these people, who is featured prominently in the ad, is a groom who is at the altar and suddenly finds himself unable to commit to his bride. He then begins romping about the church kissing every woman in sight. At the end of the ad (this is the “stinger” the ad ends on), he turns his gaze lustfully on . . . the priest, who then looks very alarmed and exits hastily while the bride sobs.

THIS TURNED MY STOMACH.

Since this is a “draft” of an ad that is not yet finalized, and the Club for Growth solicits feedback from those who visit its site, I immediately used the feedback form to send them this message:

I found the part where the groom looks lustfully at the worried priest to be HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. It will alienate Catholics who are already very sensitive about priestly sexual conduct.

This HAS TO COME OUT OF THE AD. Find a different stinger to end on. If not, expect tons of Catholic bloggers, including myself, to venomously denounce the ad in the strongest possible terms.

If you’re trying to persuade Catholics, do so in a way that doesn’t turn their stomachs. Kerry recently got himself into trouble with a vile attempt to exploit the homosexual issue. Don’t make the same mistake.

Watch the ad, and if you feel similarly, by all means let them know.

WATCH THE AD

LET THEM KNOW