R’lyeh RevealedRE-LOCATED!

I’ve been going back and re-reading some of H.P. Lovecraft’s horror stories–which I haven’t read in years, so long that I’ve forgotten almost everything about them except the shapes and names of some of the monsters in them.

One of the stories I reread is The Call of Cthulhu, which is a lynchpin of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos.

For those who may not know (and this is forbidden knowledge, remember), Cthulhu is an evil alien entity who is presently asleep in the sunken city of R’lyeh in the Pacific Ocean and who is destined to wake one day and basically kill everybody. Oh, and an evil cult worships him and is trying to wake him up again.

I was intrigued by the fact that The Call of Cthulhu gives the exact latitude and longitude of R’lyeh:

Latitude: S 47° 9 Min.
Longitude: W 123° 43 Min.

So–in an age of MapQuest–plunked the numbers into MapQuest, which promptly spit back the following map, revealing the exact location of the sunken city of R’lyeh where dead Cthulhu lies dreaming.

UPDATE: Down yonder an alert reader pointed out that the original map showed R’lyeh on the wrong side of the international date line. Turns out I had failed to enter a minus sign for the West longitude. Here’s the correct map:

Rlyeh2

BEWARE! HIC SUNT DRACONES!!!

R'lyeh RevealedRE-LOCATED!

I’ve been going back and re-reading some of H.P. Lovecraft’s horror stories–which I haven’t read in years, so long that I’ve forgotten almost everything about them except the shapes and names of some of the monsters in them.

One of the stories I reread is The Call of Cthulhu, which is a lynchpin of Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos.

For those who may not know (and this is forbidden knowledge, remember), Cthulhu is an evil alien entity who is presently asleep in the sunken city of R’lyeh in the Pacific Ocean and who is destined to wake one day and basically kill everybody. Oh, and an evil cult worships him and is trying to wake him up again.

I was intrigued by the fact that The Call of Cthulhu gives the exact latitude and longitude of R’lyeh:

Latitude: S 47° 9 Min.
Longitude: W 123° 43 Min.

So–in an age of MapQuest–plunked the numbers into MapQuest, which promptly spit back the following map, revealing the exact location of the sunken city of R’lyeh where dead Cthulhu lies dreaming.

UPDATE: Down yonder an alert reader pointed out that the original map showed R’lyeh on the wrong side of the international date line. Turns out I had failed to enter a minus sign for the West longitude. Here’s the correct map:

BEWARE! HIC SUNT DRACONES!!!

DVPeaves

What is it with people who make DVDs?

With purchaser expectations of extras and higher picture quality than what one gets on VHS, one would think that DVD manufacturers would take the customer service ethic seriously and make their DVDs as easy to use and non-annoying as possible.

But sometimes they do inexplicably frustrating things, particularly when putting TV shows on DVD.

Here are a few rules all DVD manufacturers should follow:

  1. Print the episode titles on the DVD so that the user doesn’t have to look at the box (which he won’t want to keep if he puts his DVDs in space-saving binders) to find the episode he wants. (Got that, Babylon 5?)
  2. Print the titles large enough that they are legible, so the user doesn’t have to squint. (Understand, Voyager?)
  3. Don’t have a looooong opening sequence that plays before the main menu EVERY TIME the user puts in the DVD and that CAN’T BE SKIPPED THROUGH (Capice, Next Gen?) In fact, make whatever opening you have skippable (Kudos to B5!).
  4. Make sure that there is a chapter break immediately after the opening credits so that the user can skip them and not end up way far into the story. (Why, after releasing seven seasons on DVD, haven’t you figured that out, Stargate SG-1?)
  5. Make sure that pressing PLAY has the function of making an episode . . . well . . . play. Having to hit ENTER to make and episode play when the PLAY key is dead is just stupid. (You savvy me, everybody?)
  6. Minimize the number of clicks that the user has to play the next episode. Don’t get so wrapped up in zoomy graphical menu designs that you force the user to push three or four buttons to navigate to the next episode. (What were you thinking, DS9 ?) or change the combination of buttons that need to be pushed (ditto, Voyager!).
  7. Having a "Play All" option is okay (nice try, B5), but how many users are really going to want to commit to sitting in front of the tube for three hours straight? Do the sensible thing and have NEXT EPISODE/PREVIOUS EPISODE options that immediately start playing the desired episode. (Why hasn’t anybody figured this out?)

And that’s my Andy Rooney moment for the day.

But What Does The Former President Really Think?

Time Magazine reports:

“Michael Moore’s got to be the worst for me,” former President George
H.W. Bush tells TIME’s Hugh Sidey when asked about the low point of
this last term. “I mean, he’s such a slimeball and so atrocious. But I
love the fact now that the Democrats are not embracing him as theirs
anymore. He might not get invited to sit in Jimmy Carter’s box (at the
Democratic Convention) again. I wanted to get up my nerve to ask Jimmy
Carter at the Clinton thing (the opening of Bill Clinton’s library),
‘How did it feel being there with that marvelous friend of yours,
Michael Moore?’ and I didn’t dare do it.”

Gotta admire his plainspokenness!

Wish he had asked Carter, but I guess manners prevailed.

But What Does The Former President Really Think?

Time Magazine reports:

“Michael Moore’s got to be the worst for me,” former President George

H.W. Bush tells TIME’s Hugh Sidey when asked about the low point of

this last term. “I mean, he’s such a slimeball and so atrocious. But I

love the fact now that the Democrats are not embracing him as theirs

anymore. He might not get invited to sit in Jimmy Carter’s box (at the

Democratic Convention) again. I wanted to get up my nerve to ask Jimmy

Carter at the Clinton thing (the opening of Bill Clinton’s library),

‘How did it feel being there with that marvelous friend of yours,

Michael Moore?’ and I didn’t dare do it.”

Gotta admire his plainspokenness!

Wish he had asked Carter, but I guess manners prevailed.

Saddest Songs Ever

There’s a bit in the final episode of Babylon 5 where Vir recounts a time when he and Londo (who is dead now) once heard the Pak’ma’ra singing.

The Pak’ma’ra are a vile, disgusting, Cthuloid race that nobody likes, and nobody knew they could sing, but they do–rarely and for religious reasons. Vir says that it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard,
full of sadness, and hope, wonder, and a terrible sense of loss. Londo was moved to tears.

He concludes:

When it
was over, Londo turned to me and said "There are
forty-nine gods in our pantheon, Vir; to tell you the truth I never
believed in any of them. But if only one of them exists, then God
sings with that voice." It’s funny. After everything we have been
through, all he did… I miss him.

I recently ran across a song that I hadn’t heard in ages: "Ashokan Farewell."

This song became famous in 1990 when Ken Burns used it as the main theme of his series The Civil War. It is a staggeringly beautiful theme, filled with sadness and hope and wonder and a terrible sense of loss.

Together with "Some Day Never Comes" by Creedence Clearwater Revival and "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, et al., it’s one of the three saddest, most beautiful songs I know. (Though some of Mark Herd’s stuff comes close.)

Unlike the rest of the music Burns used in The Civil War, "Ashokan Farewell" is not a period piece. In fact, it was written in 1982 by a gentleman named Jay Ungar, who conducted a series of summer fiddle and dance workshops in Ashokan, New York. He describes how the song came about:

I composed Ashokan Farewell in 1982 shortly after the summer
programs had come to an end. I was experiencing a great feeling of loss
and longing for the lifestyle and the community of people that had
developed at Ashokan that summer. The transition from living in the
woods with a small group of people who needed little excuse to
celebrate the joy of living through music and dancing, back to life as
usual, with traffic, disturbing newscasts, "important" telephone calls
and impersonal relationships had been difficult. I was in tears when I
wrote Ashokan Farewell . I kept the tune to myself for months, slightly
embarrassed by the emotions that welled up whenever I played it.

Ungar’s tears have been mirrored in the eyes of thousands of others who have heard the song. Softer-edged than "Someday Never Comes" and "Will the Circle Be Unbroken," whose lyrics sharpen the sense of loss these songs convey, "Ashokan Farewell"’s lyricless-melody perfectly captures the bittersweet of nostalgia–the sense of beauty and loss, the desire to go back and experience things again–to see old friends and loved ones–as a rush of memories comes flooding back. Since the song in its original form has no lyrics, it is not bound to any particular plot. Your memories fill in the detail as the song moves you to contemplate what was . . . and no longer is.

But which may be again.

When Christ makes all things new.

LISTEN TO THE SONG (midi version, not fully orchestrated).

READ ABOUT THE SONG.

LYRICS TO THE SONG.

DOWNLOAD THE SONG.

Clueless Lefty Defends Hollywood Elite

USA Today recently carried an editorial by culture-poisoner Steven Levitan (responsible for writing such atrocities as Greg the Bunny, which combined cute puppets and raunchy humor in prime time) under the title Hollywood "Elite": We’re Not Villains.

As if!

Here’s some excerpt with responses:

Even though I’ve been a member of the "Liberal Hollywood Elite" for 15 years, I have never been invited to an orgy.

Presumably because you’re married.

Instead, I get invited to roughly three dozen charity events a year.

And how many of these involve abortion, homosexual "rights," and the Democratic Party?

Why, then, do so many conservatives hold us in the same esteem as the
proprietor of the local porn shop?

Porn? On the Hollywood view, what’s wrong with porn? Sure, out in the red states we disapprove of it, but what on earth do you in the snakepit see as wrong with it? Articulate a rational, Hollywood case against porn for me, please. (N.B., "It in some way diminishes boxoffice proceeds" doesn’t count.)

Are our morals and values so
different from the rest of America?

Yep. See former point.

I believe "Hollywood" is more like
middle America than many people imagine.

If by that you mean that people in Hollywood don’t have horns, I’m prepared to concede the point.

This was a typical weekend for us: Saturday, we went to our kids’
soccer games (one loss, one tie). Saturday night we took the kids to
see a movie (The Incredibles). Sunday, we went to a child’s birthday party. Sunday night, we had dinner at home.

You may have noticed there was no mention of church or Temple.

Now that you mention it . . . There’s one point of difference from Middle America.

I was raised Jewish, my wife was raised Catholic. Though we respect
each other’s heritage, and while many of our friends are deeply
religious, we have chosen to focus on our similarities, not our
differences.

In other words, by ceasing to practice any faith, you’re both a couple of sell-outs on the most single important subject in life and are trying to mask that fact to yourselves with pious-sounding pleasantries.

We teach our children compassion, charity,
honesty and the benefits of hard work. We teach them to help those who
aren’t as lucky as they are. I am confident that they will go into the
world with good morals and strong family values.

Not if you’re also filling their heads with family-undermining values on abortion, homosexuality, and euthanasia. Let’s see how you feel about those values when you’re on your deathbed and your kids are itching to pull the plug lest you consume more of their inheritance with medical bills.

Friends in the Midwest often ask me what it’s
like to raise a family in Los Angeles. I say it’s just like where they
are, but warmer and with more traffic. I also tell them people here
seem a bit more tolerant of those who are different.

So . . . you’re showing your superior tolerance of others by making an unflattering remark about Midwesterners?

My wife and I are friends with several gay
couples, many of whom have been together for 20-plus years.

And this is supposed to convince me that you’re not morally warped and that you’re setting a good example for your children?

I have no problem befriending individuals who struggle with homosexual temptations. In fact, that’s praiseworthy. They lead a hard life, and they need support. But to befriend with no note of disappoval openly gay "couples" is to affirm them in an objectively disordered lifestyle.

While I can
joke that that’s a rare accomplishment even for heterosexual couples
here, in fact, many people have been together that long.

About fifty or sixty.

What puzzles
me, though, is why Britney Spears can get drunk and then married for 55
hours in Vegas and have more rights than a successful, loving gay
couple who have been together for a quarter century.

As if this snark-ument is supposed to convince anybody! One, Britney Spears’ "marriage" has ANNULMENT written all over it. Two, Vegas marriage laws are atrocious anyway (hardly representative of "family values"). Three, one can’t judge the legal status of a marriage at the time it is contracted by a fact that isn’t known at the time (i.e., how long it will last). And four, at least Britney wasn’t (to our knowledge) grossly violating the laws of biology.

Expecting universal agreement at a dinner party
just before the election, I voiced this view [i.e., that Kerry was to be voted for] rather passionately, only
to learn that half of the room was voting for President Bush. Huh? In
liberal Hollywood?

So . . . you’re acknowledging that you did expect Hollywood to be out of step with where the election showed most Americans to be?

Also, with a sampling size this small, I’d put more faith in the exit polls that showed Kerry winning on election day. Just how blue was your county on November 2?

But what about the accusation that Hollywood is
trying to advance its liberal agenda? Well, the fact is, while the
creative community admittedly leans left,

A notable admission!

Hollywood has become a
corporate town. Middle America may only see celebrities, but the real
power here lies with the heads of studios and networks. In the old
days, studio and network presidents answered to no one. Today, they
report to corporate boards and shareholders — not exactly a bunch of
lefties.

Which is why y’all don’t try to foist on America a constant diet of Fahrenheit 9/11s and Last Temptations of Christ.

Sorry, Medved has already ably documented the fact that Hollywood sinks huge amounts of money in unprofitable loser movies that can be explained only by cultural bias.

The point is, this town can’t be summed up with
one ideology. To label and dismiss us, to vilify us, is to wrongly
assume that politically there exists an "us." In fact, we are just a
group of very different people, most of us trying to raise our
families, joined by the desire to grab an audience.

You’ve already admitted that there are several "us"es in Hollywood. While one can dispute the leanings of the boardmembers and the studio heads who approve the filth with which you–and by that I mean you personally–have filled screens, you have already admitted that "the creative community admittedly leans left." Since it is the creative community (not the studio heads) that rush out into the press to advocate evil causes and candidates, you have little cause to complain about the impression of Hollywood that they generate for Midwesterners. If it helps you, parse criticisms of the "Hollywood elite" as criticisms of "the creative community."

It pains me that our nation is so divided.

Somewhere, I hear violins playing.

So,
during the next four years, I’m going to try to better understand the
so-called Christian Right that views Hollywood as the enemy.

Good! Try taking this blog entry as a starting point!

Much like
in my marriage, I’m going to focus on our similarities, because I
believe, from the bottom of my heart, that if we try, we can find
common ground.

No. This is precisely wrong. The problem is not failure to appreciate our similarities; it is the reality of our differences. You (presumably) believe that baby-killing via abortion should be allowed. I do not. As long as you hold the opinion that you do, our differences are irreconcilable, and no amount of "focusing on our similarities" will smooth things over.

Either you switch on the subject of baby-killing . . . or you’re the enemy.

The fact that we are similar in that we both lack horns counts for precisely nothing as long as you support the legalized murder of more than a million kids a year.

As far as I’m concerned, you’re not just from a different planet. You’re from a different universe–where the murder of the most defenseless members of society is wrapped in a cloak of false compassion.

God, I sound like such a liberal.

Yes.

Yes, you do.