Evil Overlord Update

A piece back I blogged about

THE EVIL OVERLORD LIST.

In case you missed it, it’s a list of resolutions that you should keep should you ever become an evil overlord. Things like:

  1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
  2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
  3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
  4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

This weekend I was watching some sci-fi, and it bought to mind a couple of new points for the evil overlord list. I therefore propose the following resolutions:

  • My Robotic Legion of Terror (and my Synthetic Vampire Army and anything similar) will not have its command and control so centralized that by blowing up a single ship (or killing the initial vampire) one can disable the whole of the fighting force.
  • If I develop a new poison or create a tailor-made diseased designed to kill only my enemies, I will not spend lots of resources developing an antidote for it before deploying it. I will wipe my enemies out while there is still no possible cure in existence for what I plan to inflict on them.
  • I will not attempt to satisfy my honor by accepting challenges to duels or other ritualized forms of "to the death" combat with my enemies. My honor will be perfectly satisfied if I just shoot them and get it over with.

Add your own evil overlord resolutions in the combox!

Moviegoers to Hollywood: Make better movies!

The last three or four months have seen a remarkable sign of box-office slump: For sixteen consecutive weeks, domestic weekend box-office receipts have been lower than the corresponding weekends from the previous year, 2004. Added: That’s one week away from the record 17-week recession set in 1985 — "one box office record we don’t want," Exhibitor Relations chief Paul Dergarabedian commented this week.

It’s not just that ticket sales are down — that’s been happening for at least three years. But because ticket prices continue to climb, Hollywood seldom takes in less  money each week on a year-over-year basis for more than two or three weeks in a row. (For example, during the same 16-week period in 2004, the weekend box office never dipped below 2003 levels for more than two consecutive weeks. Of course, as a friend of mine observed, the early part of last year might have been unusually strong due to the lingering effects of The Return of the King and the powerhouse presence of The Passion of the Christ.)

In any case, in the last 16 weeks not even the release of a the third and final Star Wars prequel could boost the box office to the levels it enjoyed a year ago. Nor could media blitzes, drummed-up controversies, or big names like Ron Howard, Russell Crowe, Adam Sandler, and Ridley Scott, Orlando Bloom pump movies like Cinderella Man, The Longest Yard, and Kingdom of Heaven to box-office success.

Hollywood execs, of course, are scrambling to point to all kinds of factors, from the continuing rise of DVDs and Internet use. But a few bold voices are wondering whether the problem isn’t the movies themselves. Amy Pascal, chairwoman of Sony Pictures Entertainment’s motion picture group, has a startling suggestion for Hollywood: Try making better films.

"We can give ourselves every excuse for people not showing up – change in population, the demographic, sequels, this and that," she said. "But people just want better movies."

Better movies. What a concept. Mrs. Pascal’s suggestion may not be the most popular advice in Hollywood — but it sounds pretty good to Paul Dergarabedian, who actually puts a positive spin on this view of things:

"It is much more chilling if there is a cultural shift in people staying away from movies… Quality is a fixable problem."

BatmanbeginsThe reason I’m mentioning this now is that this week a movie opens that could turn around the box-office slump… and certainly deserves to. Batman Begins is the best Hollywood studio film of the year so far, in addition to being one of the best super-hero movies of all time, and easily the best Batman movie ever.

Considering the years of trouble Warner Bros had even getting this picture made, what with directors, scripts and stars coming and going on a regular basis, it’s amazing that it turned out so well. In the end, they did everything right: Instead of a schlockmeister director like like Joel Schumacher (Batman Forever, Batman and Robin), they got a gifted filmmaker, Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia); instead of casting a marquee name like George Clooney or Val Kilmer, they cast talented, brooding Christian Bale. And instead of making the villains the real stars of the film, they made the hero the star.

What’s more, the film has real-world relevance. The bad guys are a crypto-organization that wants to wage war on human decadence — but their methods include decapitating prisoners, instilling terror, and unleashing weapons of mass destruction on large metropolitan areas. Hm, sound familiar? 

It’s a terrific film, though some viewers, critics and otherwise, would apparently prefer a return to the first two Tim Burton films, and don’t know what to make of a story in which Batman’s parents were killed by somebody other than the Joker, or where the film is more interested in character development and moral themes than colorful villains, big explosions, and campy dialogue.

One caveat: If you decide to go see Batman Begins this weekend, don’t bring the kids. It’s way too dark and scary for young viewers (a mature 10 or 12 would be the cutoff in my book).

My Batman Begins review

Added: Will Batman rescue the box office? Get the story.

Other stories on the box office slump:  one | two

One For The Parents

A reader writes:

I was wondering if you could suggest any books or articles that might help my staunchly Presbyterian (and seriously anti-Catholic) parents better understand my and my husband’s decision to leave the Episcopal Church for the Mother Church?  (To quote my mother, “Y’all are already almost Catholic anyway!”   Ha! I wish.)

I’d probably recommend the book

SURPRISED BY TRUTH

It’s a book of theologically-oriented conversion stories with a number of contributors (myself included) coming from a Presbyterian background. It thus might help them understand the move.

I encourage other folks to made additional recommendations in the combox (though I may delete ones I disagree with for whatever reason).

USE THIS LINK TO FIND THEM ON AMAZON

Diff'rent Folks

Who would you think of if asked for a name of Greatest Child Star Ever? Wouldn’t you automatically think of those child stars who have made something of their lives, transitioning from the difficulties of child fame to make their mark as adults? Apparently, becoming a well-adjusted adult is not a requirement for being considered Greatest Child Star Ever:

"VH1 has named Gary Coleman No. 1 on its list of the top 100 child stars ever. Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin was second, and the Olsen twins were third.

"Coleman, now 37, was the precocious star of the hit sitcom Diff’rent Strokes, which ran from 1978-86. Coleman played Arnold, who along with his older brother Willis (Todd Bridges) moves from Harlem to live with an affluent white family in Manhattan.

"In 2003 Coleman joined 134 other candidates to run for governor of California. Arnold Schwarzenegger successfully replaced the recalled Gov. Gray Davis, but Coleman got a few more minutes in the spotlight.

"’This is really interesting and cool and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it because I get to be intelligent, which is something I don’t get to do very often,’ the 4-foot-8 actor said then."

GET THE STORY.

Coleman doesn’t get to be intelligent very often? Poor man.

Director-actors Ron Howard and Jodie Foster did manage to hit the top ten. But the article didn’t even mention Shirley Temple Black, possibly the iconic child movie star and a woman who made her mark not only in acting but also in the U.S. Foreign Service as an ambassador to Ghana and to Czechoslovakia.

‘Course, that’s small potatoes compared to running for governor of California in a come-one, come-all special election open to anyone with $3,500 and 65 signatures.

Diff’rent Folks

Who would you think of if asked for a name of Greatest Child Star Ever? Wouldn’t you automatically think of those child stars who have made something of their lives, transitioning from the difficulties of child fame to make their mark as adults? Apparently, becoming a well-adjusted adult is not a requirement for being considered Greatest Child Star Ever:

"VH1 has named Gary Coleman No. 1 on its list of the top 100 child stars ever. Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin was second, and the Olsen twins were third.

"Coleman, now 37, was the precocious star of the hit sitcom Diff’rent Strokes, which ran from 1978-86. Coleman played Arnold, who along with his older brother Willis (Todd Bridges) moves from Harlem to live with an affluent white family in Manhattan.

"In 2003 Coleman joined 134 other candidates to run for governor of California. Arnold Schwarzenegger successfully replaced the recalled Gov. Gray Davis, but Coleman got a few more minutes in the spotlight.

"’This is really interesting and cool and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it because I get to be intelligent, which is something I don’t get to do very often,’ the 4-foot-8 actor said then."

GET THE STORY.

Coleman doesn’t get to be intelligent very often? Poor man.

Director-actors Ron Howard and Jodie Foster did manage to hit the top ten. But the article didn’t even mention Shirley Temple Black, possibly the iconic child movie star and a woman who made her mark not only in acting but also in the U.S. Foreign Service as an ambassador to Ghana and to Czechoslovakia.

‘Course, that’s small potatoes compared to running for governor of California in a come-one, come-all special election open to anyone with $3,500 and 65 signatures.

Flannery O'Connor Tribute

Russell Shaw has a piece on Flannery O’Connor commemorating the 40th anniversary of her anthology Everything That Rises Must Converge.

For those who may not be famliar with her, Flannery O’Connor is commonly regarded as one of the greatest American Catholic authors of the 20th century.

Her own stories contain chills as horrible as those of H. P. Lovecraft’s–made more horrible by the fact that hers aren’t supernatural. Also unlike Lovecraft, her horrors are redeemed by her staunchly Christian and Catholic worldview.

Quoth O’Connor: "All of my stories are about the action of grace on a character who is not very willing to support it."

GET THE STORY.

Flannery O’Connor Tribute

Flannery_oconnorRussell Shaw has a piece on Flannery O’Connor commemorating the 40th anniversary of her anthology Everything That Rises Must Converge.

For those who may not be famliar with her, Flannery O’Connor is commonly regarded as one of the greatest American Catholic authors of the 20th century.

Her own stories contain chills as horrible as those of H. P. Lovecraft’s–made more horrible by the fact that hers aren’t supernatural. Also unlike Lovecraft, her horrors are redeemed by her staunchly Christian and Catholic worldview.

Quoth O’Connor: "All of my stories are about the action of grace on a character who is not very willing to support it."

GET THE STORY.

Coming To A TVMovie Screen Near You

For some years they’ve been talking about doing a full-scale motion picture of The Simpsons.

Word has been, though, that they wouldn’t do it until the TV series wraps.

But the TV series has proven far more resilient than anybody imagined. Heading into its 17th season this fall, the series has become The Series That Wouldn’t Die.

Kinda helps a show stay fresh when the premise is as wide-open and unbound to conventions of realism as The Simpsons is, I guess. (I mean, the show may not be as fresh as the immortal Season 5, but can you even imagine how stale a typical sit-com would be in its 16th year? . . . Brrrrrr!)

So the movie-delayers finally threw in the towel and The Simpsons theatrical movie is now in production!

YEE-HAW!–I mean–WOO-HOO!

GET THE STORY.

Coming To A TVMovie Screen Near You

SimpsonsFor some years they’ve been talking about doing a full-scale motion picture of The Simpsons.

Word has been, though, that they wouldn’t do it until the TV series wraps.

But the TV series has proven far more resilient than anybody imagined. Heading into its 17th season this fall, the series has become The Series That Wouldn’t Die.

Kinda helps a show stay fresh when the premise is as wide-open and unbound to conventions of realism as The Simpsons is, I guess. (I mean, the show may not be as fresh as the immortal Season 5, but can you even imagine how stale a typical sit-com would be in its 16th year? . . . Brrrrrr!)

So the movie-delayers finally threw in the towel and The Simpsons theatrical movie is now in production!

YEE-HAW!–I mean–WOO-HOO!

GET THE STORY.

Happy Birthday, Donald!

Donald_duckToday in 1934 Donald Fauntleroy Duck made his first appearance in the Silly Symphonies cartoon "The Wise Little Hen."

He became Disney’s second most popular character, next to Mickey Mouse (kind of their Daffy Duck to Disney’s Bugs Bunny).

He also went on to star in comic books (notably drawn by the great Carl Barks), TV shows, and other media.

You gotta admire a duck who could be that good natured and succeed despite that big a speech impediment (far worse than Daffy’s).

LEARN MORE ABOUT DONALD’S HISTORY.

ALSO LEARN ABOUT THE MAN BEHIND HIS VOICE–an Oklahoma boy who made it big talking like an incomprehensible duck.

Happy birthday, Donald!