Fantastic Four: Movie of the summer?!

A few weeks back, when the best film of the summer, Batman Begins, opened, I posted expressing my hope that its opening weekend might end the worst U.S. weekend box-office year-over-year recession in 20 years.

Well, it didn’t… nor did any of a slew of other highly anticipated movies, including War of the Worlds, Revenge of the Sith, Cinderella Man, Kingdom of Heaven, and The Longest Yard.

According to studio estimates, though, the 20-week recession was finally broken… and to add insult to injury, the film credit with the achievement is another comic-book super-hero movie that’s as terrible as Batman Begins is great: Fantastic Four. (Get the story.)

So, what’s the lesson here? Why did Fantastic Four — an ensemble film with no star power from a fledging director based on a venerable but only moderately popular comic book — outperform Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise, Batman, Star Wars, Russell Crowe and Tom Howard, and Adam Sandler?

More pressingly, why did a lousy, badly reviewed film with only two tepid action sequences, one-note characterization, awful casting, mostly bad acting, dreadful dialogue, trashy humor, and lame special effects outperform an array of films that outshine it on almost every level imaginable?

Was I wrong to conclude in my earlier post that the message of the box-office recession was that moviegoers want better movies? Is the lesson here that quality doesn’t matter after all? That Marvel fans are a more reliable (or more forgiving) market than DC fans?

First of all, a plug: Jimmy and I will be discussing this and other movie-related topics today on Catholic Answers Live.

Second, a little perspective:

  • Fantastic Four’s opening domestic take of $56M is stronger than most of those other films — but not all of them. War of the Worlds actually opened much stronger, with a three-day opening weekend total of $64.5M — a figure that’s actually deceptively low, considering that much of its opening business wasn’t even in the Friday-to-Sunday period, since it opened on a Wednesday before the July 4 holiday (its six-day total was $112.7M).
  • Batman Begins likewise opened with a three-day take of $48.7M, somewhat lower than FF’s $56M — but here too Batman opened on a Wednesday, so its opening business wasn’t all concentrated into that three-day weekend total. Batman’s five-day opening take was $72.9M.
  • Fantastic Four isn’t single-handedly responsible for the end of the box-office recession. It was the convergence of FF plus continued strong performance from War of the Worlds and Batman, as well as other films. Had FF opened a month ago, likely it would not have broken the recession, and some other film would have.
  • It’s still too early to certify FF a hit. The figure that really matters now is the percentage of dropoff in the next week or two. Batman has been holding up well over the weeks, slipping a very modest 35% this past weekend to a $172.1M If FF tanks in its second or third weekend, as so many films do these days, it could still be a box-office turkey.

Still, with all that said, the question remains: Why did this film do so well?

Here is what I think is an important part of the answer:

Until FF, the big movies of summer have all — quite rightly — come with warnings not to bring the kids.

Even properties with built-in kid interest, such as Batman and Star Wars, have been the subjects of media and critical cautions that these films are too intense for young kids. And they are — and there’s nothing wrong with that.

As a result, though, the family market has been neglected. Yes, there have been traditional “family films” like Herbie: Fully Loaded and Madagascar. But families seem to crave films outside of the “family film” mold, i.e., cartoon-style comedies (whether live-action or animated) about children / families or anthropomorphic animals, cars, robots, etc, flatulence humor, kicks in the groin, etc.

Based on its marketing, FF, supposedly a “funny family action film,” seemed to fit the bill. Its initial success, like last year’s National Treasure (also not a great film, although much better than FF), may suggest that family audiences crave the same kind of thrills and action as teenagers and young adults, but without the heavy violence or sexual content. In fact, families may be so desperate for acceptable fare of this type that they will even embrace movies that are mediocre (National Treasure) or lousy (FF).

Unfortunately, it also seems, at least at the moment, that it may not be necessary that the movie be actually family-friendly — only that it be marketed and perceived that way. With FF, a running thread of trashy exploitative content, mostly in connection with the character of Johnny Storm, keeps it from being family-friendly, but it didn’t keep the studio from marketing the film to families.

And families, at least this weekend, seemed to buy it. Time will tell if word of mouth prevents the strategy from working in the long run… or whether family audiences really are the suckers some Hollywood studios think they are.

Listen today to Catholic Answers Live for more.

I've Been Paged!

… By Christopher over at Against the Grain in his page over the Harry Potter novels and Pope Benedict XVI’s alleged disapproval of them.

Since the Holy Father’s election, Potter naysayers have been having a field day with a German-language article that claimed that the then-Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger had denounced J. K. Rowling’s mega-popular children’s series.  As the release date for the latest installment draws near, the frenzy has become even more strident.  So, the question is, did the Pope disapprove of the series?  The answer:  No, because no such statement has been offered by Pope Benedict during his pontificate.  Well, what about the alleged disapproval of Cardinal Ratzinger?  Here’s my response:

  • As far as I know, the letter sent to the German critic Gabriele Kuby has not been published.  According to Lifesite.net (the site that offers an article that blares "Pope Benedict Opposes Harry Potter Novels"), Cardinal Ratzinger’s letter was quoted by Kuby in a German-language interview she gave to the Zenit news agency.  If the letter has been published, then I would have to read it in order to determine whether the Cardinal had been giving a private opinion or was speaking in his capacity as prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
  • According to Kuby, as mediated through the Zenit report, Ratzinger said: "It is good that you shed light and inform us on the Harry Potter matter, for these are subtle seductions that are barely noticeable and precisely because of that deeply affect (children) and corrupt the Christian faith in souls even before it (the Faith) could properly grow."  Please note that the glosses in parentheses are probably not Cardinal Ratzinger’s.  One would have to see the letter itself to confirm the context of the glosses.  Even if accurate, there is still a lot of context missing.  What exactly does the "these" in the clause that starts "for these are subtle seductions" refer to?  As of yet, there is no way to know.
  • Cardinal Ratzinger may simply be giving a politely general response to the concerns of a correspondent, affirming that her concerns for the faith of children are valid without necessarily affirming that the series itself indeed causes such dangers.  If the intriguing "these" simply refers to the concerns she raised and not to alleged problems in the Potter series, then the quote says nothing of the Cardinal’s opinion of the series.  Analogously, if someone wrote to Catholic Answers asking me if such-and-so liturgical abuse was a legitimate concern, I could say yes without saying anything about the particular circumstances at the correspondent’s parish. 
  • Let’s say for the sake of argument that Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger has read the Harry Potter novels and agrees with the Potter critics that they are bad.  What does that prove?  If he was speaking privately as an independent literary critic, not much beyond the fact that they are not his cup of tea.  If he was speaking privately as a theologian troubled by theological issues in the series, then his opinion would carry the weight of the private analysis by an orthodox and well-respected Christian theologian.  Only if he had been writing as head of the CDF would magisterial authority begin to be a question.

The trouble with articles like the one on Lifesite is that they cause a lot of controversy without much substance.  The same was true a couple of years ago when Roman exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth nixed the Potter series.  Naysayers pounced on this and trumpeted it to fans of the series while failing to mention that Fr. Amorth was only speaking on his own authority and not the Church’s.  Now that Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger has become Pope Benedict XVI, naysayers are hoping to stir the cauldron again.  Granted, the remarks should be discussed, even investigated, to ascertain what was said and the context in which it was said.  But misleading headlines and sensationalistic articles are not the way to foster calm and reasoned inquiry.

I’ve Been Paged!

… By Christopher over at Against the Grain in his page over the Harry Potter novels and Pope Benedict XVI’s alleged disapproval of them.

Since the Holy Father’s election, Potter naysayers have been having a field day with a German-language article that claimed that the then-Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger had denounced J. K. Rowling’s mega-popular children’s series.  As the release date for the latest installment draws near, the frenzy has become even more strident.  So, the question is, did the Pope disapprove of the series?  The answer:  No, because no such statement has been offered by Pope Benedict during his pontificate.  Well, what about the alleged disapproval of Cardinal Ratzinger?  Here’s my response:

  • As far as I know, the letter sent to the German critic Gabriele Kuby has not been published.  According to Lifesite.net (the site that offers an article that blares "Pope Benedict Opposes Harry Potter Novels"), Cardinal Ratzinger’s letter was quoted by Kuby in a German-language interview she gave to the Zenit news agency.  If the letter has been published, then I would have to read it in order to determine whether the Cardinal had been giving a private opinion or was speaking in his capacity as prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.
  • According to Kuby, as mediated through the Zenit report, Ratzinger said: "It is good that you shed light and inform us on the Harry Potter matter, for these are subtle seductions that are barely noticeable and precisely because of that deeply affect (children) and corrupt the Christian faith in souls even before it (the Faith) could properly grow."  Please note that the glosses in parentheses are probably not Cardinal Ratzinger’s.  One would have to see the letter itself to confirm the context of the glosses.  Even if accurate, there is still a lot of context missing.  What exactly does the "these" in the clause that starts "for these are subtle seductions" refer to?  As of yet, there is no way to know.
  • Cardinal Ratzinger may simply be giving a politely general response to the concerns of a correspondent, affirming that her concerns for the faith of children are valid without necessarily affirming that the series itself indeed causes such dangers.  If the intriguing "these" simply refers to the concerns she raised and not to alleged problems in the Potter series, then the quote says nothing of the Cardinal’s opinion of the series.  Analogously, if someone wrote to Catholic Answers asking me if such-and-so liturgical abuse was a legitimate concern, I could say yes without saying anything about the particular circumstances at the correspondent’s parish. 
  • Let’s say for the sake of argument that Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger has read the Harry Potter novels and agrees with the Potter critics that they are bad.  What does that prove?  If he was speaking privately as an independent literary critic, not much beyond the fact that they are not his cup of tea.  If he was speaking privately as a theologian troubled by theological issues in the series, then his opinion would carry the weight of the private analysis by an orthodox and well-respected Christian theologian.  Only if he had been writing as head of the CDF would magisterial authority begin to be a question.

The trouble with articles like the one on Lifesite is that they cause a lot of controversy without much substance.  The same was true a couple of years ago when Roman exorcist Fr. Gabriele Amorth nixed the Potter series.  Naysayers pounced on this and trumpeted it to fans of the series while failing to mention that Fr. Amorth was only speaking on his own authority and not the Church’s.  Now that Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger has become Pope Benedict XVI, naysayers are hoping to stir the cauldron again.  Granted, the remarks should be discussed, even investigated, to ascertain what was said and the context in which it was said.  But misleading headlines and sensationalistic articles are not the way to foster calm and reasoned inquiry.

Motion Picture Conclave

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences — you know, the group that passes out that shiny gold statue called, uh, uh, Oscar!, every year — has elevated 112 artists and executives to voting member status.

"The invitees range from such recent Oscar winners as best actor Jamie Foxx, original score composer Jan A. P. Kaczmarek and animated short-film creator Chris Landreth to such executives as newly installed Paramount Pictures chairman and CEO Brad Grey, Sony Pictures Entertainment chairman and CEO Michael Lynton, and Pixar Animation Studios chairman and CEO Steve Jobs.

"While the Academy adopted a new policy last year to slow the growth to a maximum of 30 new members annually, it was able to issue more than 100 invitations because of deaths and members opting for retired (nonvoting) status.

[…]

"Candidates for Academy membership are normally proposed by members and then considered by committees made up of representatives of each of the organization’s 14 branches."

GET THE STORY.

In case you were wondering how Hollywood’s most elite yearly conclave works, now you know.

Monk Season 3 On DVD!!!

Monk_season3

JUST RELEASED TODAY!!!

HIGHLIGHTS:

  • Mr. Monk goes to New York City!
  • Mr. Monk gets a job at Wal-Mart! (only without it being called "Wal-Mart")
  • Mr. Monk goes on Jeopardy! (only without it being called "Jeopardy!")
  • Mr. Monk solves the murder of Bruce Lee! (only without him being called "Bruce Lee")
  • Mr. Monk takes medicine to cure his OCD!
  • Mr. Monk is forced to live in a cabin . . . in the woods!
  • Mr. Monk gets buried alive! (literally! in a coffin!)
  • Mr. Monk goes to Las Vegas!

Plus!

Also, this season feature’s the much-beloved Sharona’s last episode (for now!) and the introduction of Monk’s new assistant, Natalie. If you’re a Natalie fan, be sure to get this season so you can obsessively document her arrival on the show. If you’re a Sharona fan, be sure to get it so you can obsess about the good times we had when Sharona was here. If you’re a fan of both Sharona and Natalie, get it so you can obsess about both!

GETCHOURSNOW!!! YEE-HAW!!!

Born On The 5th Of July

Laurie_andersonYou were born, and so you’re free.

So happy birthday.

Thus says the lyrics to the song "Born, Never Asked" by Laurie Anderson (left), who was born today–July 5–in 1947 (in the midst of the Roswell Incident, which might explain a good number of things about her).

Anderson is a performance artist and musician who was born in Illinois but these days hangs out in NYC (from what I can tell).

I first became aware of her back in the early 1980s when her album Big Science made it big–or as big as an avant garde album can make it, I suppose.

I recently discovered that several of Laurie’s albums could be downloaded from iTunes, and so I’ve been revisiting and enjoying the stuff she did back in the ’80s.

Here music is . . . hard to describe. You know what they say: "Writing about music is like dancing about architecture."

Basically, her music alternates between several different styles. Some of it is just strange and atmospheric. Then there are toe-tapping numbers, alternately instrumental or vocal, that incorporate elements of Rock and Pop.

The most unusual aspect of her music isn’t the sound, though. It’s the lyrics. Laurie has realized something that many Rock and Roll artists have: The lyrics of a song don’t really have to mean anything. They can just evoke an image, a mood, or a feeling. She also has realized something that many Rock and Roll artists have not: It’s okay to sing your lyrics intelligibly.

As a result, her music reminds me of a line that Woody Allen delivers in Zelig, describing baseball: "You know it doesn’t have to mean anything, it’s just beautiful to watch."

That’s exactly the way I feel about Laurie Anderson’s music: It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just pretty to listen to.

What she’s trying to do (so far as I can tell) is not get at any Deep Meanings but simply evoke certain moods and feelings that have qualities of mystery and beauty and humor and even warmth.

At times Laurie piles up interesting poetic images, as in this passage from her song "Let X=X" (flashback to math class!) in which she describes getting a postcard from a person who has betrayed one and is now twisting the knife and who then (apparently) gets his comeuppance. Notice the way the individual lines build up these impressions, even though nobody would really write a postcard like this in real life:

I got this postcard, and it read. . . . It said . . .

"Dear Amigo, Dear Partner,

"Listen, uh, I just wanna say thanks, so . . . thanks.
Thanks for all the presents.
Thanks for introducing me to the chief.
Thanks for putting on the feedbag.
Thanks for going all out.
Thanks for showing me your Swiss army knife.
Oh, and uh, thanks for letting me autograph your cast.

"Hug and kisses, XXXX OOOO

"Oh, yeah. P.S.: I feel like I’m in a burning building . . . and I gotta go."

This is a poetic abstraction of a phenomena we are all acquainted with. In our lives virtually everyone has the experience of being kind to someone ("thanks for all the presents, thanks for introducing me to the chief"), only to have that person take advantage of our kindness ("thanks for putting on the feedbag. thanks for going all out") and betray and even injure us ("thanks for letting me autograph your cast").

When that happens, we don’t want to see the person simply get away with it. We want to see them find out that the sweet things they stole have turned sour, and Laurie covers that as well ("I feel like I’m in a burning building"). Laurie thus evokes in poetic form an aspect of human experience that will resonate with the audience (or at least those who have lived long enough to experience betrayal).

Not all of Laurie’s lyrics have this serious dimension to them. Some are aimed at getting a laugh, as in this passage from the song "Talk Normal":

I came home today, and both our cars were gone.
And there were all these new pink flamingoes arranged in star patterns, all over the lawn.
And then I went into the kitchen. . . . And it looked like a tornado had hit.
And then I realized . . . I was in the wrong house.

Laurie occasionally comes up with a sentence that she is probably the first person in the history of the human race ever to utter. My favorite is this:

I dreamed I had to take a test in a Dairy Queen on another planet.

There can even be an apologetic dimension to her lyrics. Recently I was writing an article on heaven for This Rock and was tempted to quote one of her lines (from the song "Language Is A Virus"):

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, only much . . . much . . . better.

If you’d like to check out some of her material, I’d recommend her albums Home Of The Brave and Mr. Heartbreak as good, accessible starting points. The music on these is more up-tempo and has a feel-good aspect to it. It still doesn’t mean much, but then it doesn’t have to. It’s just pretty to listen to.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAURIE!

BUY LAURIE MUSIC

Or download Laurie music:

Download iTunes

Introducing Bennifer

Bennifer

On the off-chance that any of you follow our national reality soap opera As Tinseltown Turns, JimmyAkin.org can save you the outlay on next week’s People magazine. (Or, if you’d rather start up another Hollywood marriage betting pool, we’ll give you the scoop you need for that, too.) The couple known as Bennifer — Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, not Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, in case your People subscription lapsed recently — have married:

"Jennifer Garner has gone where no woman has gone before — down the aisle with Ben Affleck.

"The twosome, who are expecting their first child together this fall, exchanged vows Wednesday at the Parrot Cay resort in the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos.

"’They’re married and they’re expecting their first child,’ the newlweds’ reps, Ken Sunshine and Nicole King, said in a sparse but official statement.

"The surprise nuptials were attended by Garner’s Alias costar, Victor Garber, who looked on as the white-clad bride kissed her new husband following a sunset ceremony, per the National Enquirer."

GET THE STORY.

Congratulations, many happy returns, stay together ’til death parts you, and all that.

Now. Will someone please tell me why this news deserved up-to-the-minute front-page coverage at Yahoo? I haven’t looked around at other news sites, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were breathless newsflashes up on those sites too. And another question: Why is this country so shallow that we must entertain ourselves through voyeuristic peeks into the private lives of people who are paid outrageous sums of money to pretend to be other people for a living?

The Freakanomics of Tinseltown…. Now that would be an interesting economic analysis.

RedState Sees Red

RedState.Org recently ran three book reviews of Thomas Woods’ How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization. I haven’t read the book, so I can’t comment on it, but I have read the three book reviews, and I can comment on them. Each had serious flaws, but the first was of truly notable merit. Let’s read . . . .

JOSH TREVINO:

"How the Catholic Church Built Western Civilization," by Thomas Woods, PhD, is a book masquerading as a necessary corrective that reveals itself as an inadequate one; and a serious work of history marred by some deeply unserious historiography. By which I mean that I disagree with it theologically. The author’s stated intent is to counter much of the calumny which has befallen the institution of Catholicism in the modern era — specifically the calumny that it is and has always been an anti-modernist, anti-science, anti-humanist force — and in this, his approach makes the fatal errors of answering the critics on their own terms, and adopting Catholic historical prejudice to a degree that weakens his broader argument. Allow me to smear Catholics up front by referring univocally to "Catholic historical prejudice." I’m still an unbiased arbiter of history, myself, though.

It is the latter flaw that we turn to first. Those familiar with Church history know that <scare quotes>"Catholicism"</scare quotes> as we understand it was a concept that emerged in nascent form only with the progressive divergence of the Greek and Latin Churches between the 11th and 15th centuries; the Catholic Church as we know it in the modern era did not emerge until roughly the 16th century.

When I refer to Catholicism as "we" know it, the "we" in question is, of course, myself and my cat, Tibbles. Tibbles is an expert on such matters and assures me that the word "Catholic" wasn’t even used until roughly the sixteenth century. There was no consciousness of the Catholic Church as a distinct institution prior to that time. In fact, Tibbles’ papyrological studies have revealed that the quotations attributed to St. Augustine in the fourth century displaying a clear institutional awareness of the Catholic Church in contrast to other churches are, in fact, forgeries salted into the historical record by tricky papists.

The same goes for all the other evidence for the existence of the institution today called "the Catholic Church" prior to the sixteenth century. The Protestant Reformers may have thought that they were protesting against an institution known as "the Catholic Church" that had been around for centuries, but in fact it had only been in existence for a few weeks, following an extensive salting campaign undertaken as part of a hoax stemming from a college fraternity’s hazing rite. Please see Tibbles’ doctoral disseration for the references.

This latter Church development, mostly codified in the Council of Trent, came about as the Church defined itself against a Protestant Reformation. When I say "codified," I mean "made up out of thin air" rather than "confirming what was already in existence, against which Protestants were protesting." which Protestantism emerged as something rather different from, and more lasting than, previous anti-hierarchical rebellions such as Arianism, Donatism, and the Cathar and Hussite movements. By "anti-hierarchical" I don’t mean "against hierarchy," for each of these groups had bishops.

So, when we–Tibbles and I–speak of Catholicism as understood as that Christian church led by the Pope in Rome and governed by his clerical and bureaucratic apparatus, we are certainly not speaking of the historical Church from the time of St Peter to the modern day. For there were no popes in Rome prior to roughly the sixteenth century, nor did they have any clerics associated with them nor any bureaucratic apparatus. Tibbles has shown that all the alleged "records" of such individuals are fake.

 NSurprisingly, none of this seems to matter to Wood. It is as if he is completely unaware of Tibbles’ brilliant work in this area. The great accomplishments of the fourth through eleventh centuries, when the Church — and specifically the monastic communities — essentially alone preserved the civilizational heritage of antiquity, are presented as specifically Catholic accomplishments. The nerve! It is as if Woods really believes the records purporting to show that the monastic communities of the fourth through the eleventh centuries regarded themselves as Catholic institutions!

This is fundamentally inaccurate on several counts, most notably in that much of the preservation of the Roman and Greek corpus took place in imperial Constantinople, certainly never a location within the orbit of the Bishop of Rome. Yes, Constantinople was never within the "orbit" of the Bishop of Rome. Not even before the East-West Schism, when the Rome and Constantinople were in communion and councils like the First Council of Constantinople (A.D. 381) were saying things like: "The Bishop of Constantinople, however, shall have the prerogative of honour after the Bishop of Rome; because Constantinople is New Rome" (canon 3).

(Excepting, of course, a rather regrettable sixty years or so beginning 1204, which Woods sensibly omits as an accomplishment of the Catholic Church since it would harm my case.) Indeed, following the Fall of Constantinople to the Muslims in 1453, the arrival of these preserved manuscripts in the baggage of Greek refugees was a major spur to the Renaissance in Italy. See! The fact that post-schism Byzantines preserved manuscripts important to Western civilization ipso facto disproves the idea that the Catholic Church had anything to do with it!

The reality is that the preservation of civilization in Europe during the Dark Ages and medieval era, while creditable to Christianity at large, was not exclusively, nor even mostly, the doing of the Pope or a Catholicism that did not then exist. By way of parallel, it is wrong to credit to the United States the spread of democracy in the world during an age of monarchy, beginning with the American Revolution. The U.S. as Tibbles and I know it today did not exist in 1776 for there were only thirteen states at the time, its people spoke a now archaic form of English, and they were far less democratic than we are. It was only with the Warren Court that what we now call "America" became truly democratic, and thus it is a category mistake to attribute any democratizing influence in the world to an America that did not then exist.

When "we" speak of America, we mean America since the Warren Court, just as when "we" speak of the Catholic Church, we mean the Catholic Church since the sixteenth century. Tibbles and I are entitled to do this since, as Humpy Dumpty told Alice, "When I use a word . . . it means just what I choose it to mean–neither more nor less."

In certain tea parties that Tibbles and I frequent in modern-day Christian Orthodoxy there is a certain (misguided, to my mind) nostalgia for "Western Orthodoxy," which is defined as the Latin or "Western" rites as they existed prior to the late-medieval split between Constantinople and Rome. According to this thesis, prior to that, all Christendom was "Orthodox," and hence we can discuss St Patrick of Ireland, for example, as an Orthodox saint. While there is theological validity to this, it is a dishonest reading of history. Historical dishonesty thus can be theologically valid. — St Patrick almost certainly never looked to the Constantinopolitan Patriarch for guidance, for example — and it is also an misleading interpretation of cultural heritage, for nobody should be allowed to take pride in anything that the West has ever done. Westerners must only execrate their ancestors and laud the glories of Byzantium.

The consequent establishment of "Western Orthodox" parishes in the United States and Britain, which utilize various forms of liturgy extant in the churches of the era of the Venerable Bede, is based upon this false appropriation. Westerners must repudiate all of their own liturgical heritage and adhere strictly to the one, true form of liturgy as practiced in  Constantinople, "where also their Lord was crucified."

Woods is guilty of precisely this same error from the Catholic side: his interpretation of history, and specifically his presentation of Catholicism through the medieval era, leads inevitably — though he shrinks from making this point explicit — to the concept of a pre-split "Catholic Greece," among other things. I mean, just because both East and West regarded themselves as being part of one Church prior to the split, and just because that Church was commonly called the "Catholic" Church in that age, and just because it had the bishop of Rome as its foremost bishop according to the First Council of Constantinople (among others), that in no way allows a Catholic to lay any kind of claim to the heritage of this age!

It ill-befits any person from any Christian tradition to posit such a <adjectival meltdown>thinly-defensible, revisionist, and ahistorically exclusionist</adjectival meltdown> interpretation of Church history. By which I mean: I disagree with Woods theologically. I hold it as a theological truth that the Church before the split was Orthodox rather than Catholic. Woods therefore must be wrong historically. If the evidence is against me, so be it. As I’ve already established, historical dishonesty can be theologically valid.

Now, let me be up-front and state that I am coming at this from an Orthodox perspective. Yes! Disclosing one’s point of view half-way through a piece is being "up front" about it! I hope, though, that the reader finds that the argument against this manner of historiography stands on its own.

The second major flaw in Woods’ book stems from the first. <syntactical meltdown>In claiming all things for Catholicism, and in concurrently expanding Catholicism to claim those things he wishes to claim, he of necessity does so according to that which he wishes to refute.</syntactical meltdown> Woods finds the charge that the Church is a retarding force in the development of modern civilization — specifically modern science, which seizes his attention, and hence his book, to a great degree — to be one that eminently deserves answering. All of which is just to say: He wants to show that the Catholic Church isn’t anti-science.

His implicit acceptance of the equating of science with civilization (I have to say "implicit" acceptance because if I didn’t then he’d protest that he hasn’t equated science with civilization and that I am setting up a straw man), and his explicit acceptance that the Church may be justified on these terms (whatever that means), are both profoundly wrong.

This is not the place to examine in full the contention that science is an independent, self-justifying value (since Woods presumably didn’t claim this), or the contention that science is itself an independent, self-justifying indicator of civilization (which Woods presumably also didn’t claim). It is enough to say that the Catholic Church and Christianity at large reject both these views. They are thus irrelevant to the matter at hand. I only mention them so I can dazzle the reader with my sparkling philosophical prose.

Modern Catholicism quite laudably espouses the position that, as a Catholic priest from my own childhood explained, "Good science and good faith do not conflict." This begs the question of what constitutes "good science." Certainly there is quite a lot of bad science: the Dachau hypothermia experiments, the eugenics movement, and the Tuskegee experiments are only the tip of that iceberg. Particularly in an era where science is pushing the frontiers of human control — although not human wisdom — ever further, it is the Church that has frequently been the loudest voice in reminding society that knowledge is not an end in itself, and that its application is not inherently useful, wise or right. In a faith the holy text of which begins with an allegory of unwise knowledge and its consequences, this is in keeping with its most ancient intellectual traditions. That they are still applicable and cautionary thousands of years after that allegory’s first telling is a testament to the enduring nature of man and his folly.

One searches in vain for this recognition in Woods’ book. Instead, we are treated to a proud catalogue of mostly monastic and Jesuit accomplishments in science and technology. How dare Woods try to prove that the Church isn’t anti-science without mentioning my personal hobby-horse on the subject! Tibbles is outraged and spitting up hairballs!

These in themselves are good things inasmuch as they demonstrate that the Church is not a wholly malign force in the temporal world, pace the attacks of its critics. But Woods appears to forget that the Church is not justified by those things. This is a subtle point. When I first read Woods, I missed it, thinking that he was merely conducting a negative apologia–showing that the charge of the Church being anti-science is false. But Tibbles’ careful reading of the text revealed that Woods was actually doing a positive apologia, claiming that people ought to be Catholic because of how much good science the Church has done! He thus forgets that the Church is not justified by how much good science it’s done!

iIndeed, from the standpoint of the believer, the Church in the world is justified by the simple act of belief and the promulgation of the worship of Christ. All those miracles and fulfilled prophecies that Jesus and St. Paul so keen about were just a waste of time. To justify it on any other terms — say, a clever tenth-century Benedictine integration of waterwheels and trip-hammers, or a useful seventeenth-century Jesuit advance in lens-grinding — is to implicitly accede to the secularist contention that it is material betterment that is the bellwether of human progress, and the moral justifier of institutions. In this, the Church in the modern era will lose, and lose badly: no local parish is the equal of the supermarket in the provision of bread to the masses; no bishop alive has utilized waterpower so well as does the Tennessee Valley Authority.

Why, then, does Woods keep telling us that we ought to be Catholic because it will give us technological doo-dads and material prosperity? I mean, I haven’t seen this kind of pro-technology apologetic for Catholicism since John Paul II wrote his most recent encyclical on the virtues of consumerism and the sacramental character of shopping at Best Buy!

Useful social advancement based upon the rational satisfaction of material needs is, of course, the basis of the domestication of dogs, just as the law of gravitation operating between bodies that have mass in the Einsteinan space-time continuum is, of course, the basis of why a domesticated dog will drop to the ground if you suddently disintegrate his legs. It is not what distinguishes nor what "built Western Civilization," nor, one hopes, is it the purpose of man on earth. Not that Woods said it was those things. I’m just showing off my sparklingly intellectual prose again.

It is that transcendent need to define and achieve that purpose–i.e., the purpose of man on earth–that the Church, and religion in general, presumably seeks to fulfill; and if it is to be justified, it must be on those terms. It is the task of the Church’s apologists to do so, and to argue that that transcendence has not lost an iota of its relevance in our era. Tibbles therefore decrees that it is superfluous and counter-productive for a person to write a book on the Catholic Church’s role in the building of Western Civilization. The only books that should be written are those showing the value of transcendence in the world today!

Thomas Woods shows how well the Catholic Church, as defined by him and most of mankind, has delivered on those material needs for millennia. Fine, say the critics he attempts to refute: can we not accomplish this today by means of a government program without this Jesus baggage? There is no good answer to this question in this book since it was not a book about proposed government programs. Since it is the crucial question of the modern age, it is an omission that reduces Woods’ work from a serious apologia to a collection of trivia–a charge that can be equally leveled against any book published today that is not an apologia based on the value of transcendance in modern society contra irreligious government programs. That’s the only kind of book that counts!
 

I therefore fault the book because the author chose to write on a theme not to my liking.

Tibbles, feeling generous, gives it one hairball out of a possible five.

SOURCE.

READ WOODS’ BOOK FOR YOURSELF.

Saddam Hussein: Novelist?

Captxdg13807011948iraq_saddam_xdg138It appears that Saddam Hussein (pictured left doing his Kevin McCarthy impression) may not only be guilty of crimes against humanity but also of crimes against the humanities!

Turns out he’s a novelist.

He’s already inflicted three novels on the world (published anonymously):

"Zabibah and the King" tells a story of a leader who sacrifices a luxurious life for the sake of his people.


"The Fortified Citadel" described the rise to power of Saddam’s Baath Party.


"Men and a City" is widely viewed as a thinly veiled autobiography, presenting him as powerful and heroic.

Now he has a new novel scheduled to come out. Unsurprisingly, it’s a religiously inflammatory geopolitical allegory:

"Get Out, Damned One" tells the story of a man called Ezekiel who
plots to overthrow a town’s sheik but is defeated in his quest by the
sheik’s daughter and an Arab warrior.

The story is apparently a metaphor for a Zionist-Christian plot
against Arabs and Muslims. Ezekiel is meant to symbolize the Jews.

Interestingly . . .

"Get Out, Damned One" describes an Arab leading an army that invades the land of the enemy and topples one of their monumental towers, an apparent reference to the Sept. 11, 2001, attack on the World Trade Center in New York by Islamic militants of
Osama bin Laden’s terrorist network.


Ezekiel [a Jewish symbol] is portrayed as greedy, ambitious and destructive. Youssef, who symbolizes the Christians, is portrayed as generous and tolerant — at least in the early passages.

GET THE "STORY."

Top 100 Movie Quotes?

Frankly_my_dearThe American Film Institute has released a list of what it considers the top 100 movie quotes of all time.

As you may guess from the image on the left, the #1 line was Gone With The Wind‘s "Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn."

To compile the list the AFI asked 1500 "leaders from the creative community, including film artists (directors,
screenwriters, actors, editors, cinematographers), critics and
historians." The "leaders" voted their favorites of a list of 400 nominated quotes.

The film with the most quotes was Casablanca, with 7 quotes, followed by The Wizard Of Oz, which had six.

I agree with most of the entries on the list (not necessarily the order they’re in, but their presence). Some, I don’t. For example, I don’t agree with Moonstruck‘s "Snap out of it!" It seems to me that for something to qualify as a movie quote, it needs to be something that people weren’t saying to each other All The Time before the movie came out. Folks have been saying "Snap out of it!" for far too long (and even in movies before Moonstruck).

GET THE LIST.

I definitely agree with Patrick over at Southern Appeal, though:

My reaction: What no quotes from The Princess Bride, the most quotable movie of all time?

No quotes from The Princess Bride????

<lisp>Inconceivable!!!!</lisp>