Author: Jimmy Akin
Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live." View all posts by Jimmy Akin
Karati-CHOP!
Monkey Faith Healers.
I’m gonna get you fully immersed if it takes all day!!
Give it to me! It’s my birthday present, my precious.
Somebody’s got to say it:
“No! It is I who will eat you!”
Idiot! – now look what you’ve done. I warned you the Primatum spell in Harry Potter was satanic.
No, we do not share a common ancestor with those barbaric humans! I refuse to accept it.
“Do you have a license for that Minkey?”
I see a monkey Chiropractic lawsuit comming.
No! I’m the Universal Primate.
Rock ’em, sock ’em monkeys
[b]”Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!”[/b]
“Now I will show you MY Monkey-style kung fu!”
Hold still! I’ve almost got it…and it’s a juicy one!
no, a little to the left…lower, LOWER!…now just a little to the right…..OH YEAH, THAT’S THE SPOT!!…AHHHHHHH!!!!
We Presbyterians are right!!!
No, we Baptists are right!!!
SPOCK!!!! NO!!! It’s…me..Jim…..
Must…resist…Vulcan…nerve…pinch……
AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa………..
Sorry to semi-copy you, Rob, but…
“You will be SAAAAAVEDUH! Get outta this monkey NOWWWWWUH, Satan be GOOONNNEEEEUH! I command you in the name of JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZUSUH!
(Voiceover) “And as the Man in the Big Yellow Hat looked on in horror, Curious George and his evil clone battled to the bitter end.”
Promenade, don’t get to funky,
Now spin your partner like a Rhesus Monkey.
throw a couple more monkeys in there and it will look like my kids this morning.
So far Sifu Jones has my vote, although John E gets points for blog-specific topicality.
Islamophobe !
How dare you insult the Prophet(pbuh).
Now, repeat after me:
“ISLAM means PEACE”
or I’ll kill you.
Rejected cover for Pantera’s Vulgar Display of Power.
No Mom I do not NEED a bath!
“Bwaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha! Wait wait, one more ‘your momma’s so ugly’ joke.”
Please tell me Tammy Faye isn’t gone! Who are we going to get to buy the “Eye shade in a can” anymore?
(With deepest respects to Ms. Faye and her family. Eternal rest grant unto her O’Lord…)
Global Warming causes PETA protesters to cool off outside the courthouse in Atlanta while Picketing Michael Vick.
Promenade, don’t get to funky,
Now spin your partner like a Rhesus Monkey.
Actually, the normal progression would be *swing* your partner, now don’t get funky, *promenade* like a Rhesus monkey.
I knew the technical critique was coming!
Promenade, don’t get to funky
You meant “too” funky, no?
“Hang on…I think this one’s ready to pop…”
“Arrrrrgh!
I knew the technical critique was coming!
Admittedly, one can swing after the end of a promenade, and it’s sometimes called that way (e.g., to fill time at the end of a singing call), but swing and then promenade is by far the more common progression.
“Latin is NOT dead!”
Like all good westerns Sam PECKnPAW ends this one with the predictable good ape/bad ape fight in a river.
I give this film Two opposable thumbs up.
> Promenade, don’t get to funky
> You meant “too” funky, no?
SDG,
That proper noun should be capitalized: to Funky, as in “Funky Town.”
Mom, I think we need a bigger bowl for these sea monkeys!
Monkies fight, as well as have gay sex. Therefore war and gay marriage are morally acceptable, per se.
Two-Fisted Monkey Style Attack!!!
I am clearly the bigger Mel Silverback fan!
I’m uninvolved in the exchange you reference. 🙂
Not any longer.
Smart guy. Lemme show you MY monkey-style Kung Fu!
I was going to add something, but all the good references have been taken . . . still, you all always amp up the funny.
“Taste great”
“No. Less filling.”
“Actually, the normal progression would be *swing* your partner, now don’t get funky, *promenade* like a Rhesus monkey.”
Not in the monkey square dancing I’ve seen. 😉
Others: Yes, I meant “not too funky”. Was very tempted too post again two clarify, but you knew what I meant. (I meant 2 do that).
Was very tempted too post again two clarify
You meant “to clarify”, no? ;^)
Was very tempted too post
You meant “to post”, neh?
Thought of one:
“You blew it up! You d*** dirty ape!!!”
Still like Fr John’s Clouseau reference best, though.
If I’m to baptize you properly you’re going to have to let me put you under two more times!
The Womyn’s Ordination erupted into chaos on Sunday after two womyn priestess argued over whose turn it was to give the homily.
Ah that’s what a monkey wrench looks like.
Extraordinary … Roman … Rite! — Tridentine … Latin … Mass! — EXTRAORDINARY Roman Rite! — TRIDENTINE Latin Mass! — Extraordinary … Roman … Rite! — Tridentine … Latin … Mass!
The Modern State of Catholic-Protestant Apologetics on the Internet
“Right turn Clyde”
JD Crossan’s finally found his cover photo for his new book: “The Historical Cain & Abel”
– Your momma was a fish! Your momma was a fish!
– Nooooooooooooooooo!
“Why don’t you sola fides THIS!”
Full Immersion Baptisim:
I baptise you in the name of the…
I have a photo of me taken during my Baptist baptism and I look like that monkey….
“Those others are just shrews.”
“Yep. We need to keep them out of the next debate.”
Jack Chimp collapses when Alberto tells him he’s leaving the tract to join the Capuchins.
No I’m the Angels Rally Monkey…no I am..no I am!!
“Let’s give JA something to talk about.”
Clearly, this photo shows a monkey’s “Uncle!”
“Don’t you know when you’re going to sock the monkey!”
“HaHa! With this computer implant, I, Mojo Jojo, will be your master!!”
Where did you get a picture of my kids playing?
And what floats besides a duck?
Photographic evidence that 2 of the 3 wise monkeys could no longer hold up to their end of the “no evil” bargain.
“I was right. You have a mole shaped like the head of Rudy Guliani.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
Blip never quite reached the level of fame he enjoyed during his “Space Ghost” days…..
Two little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
“NO MORE MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED!!”
“Why you little…!”
Come on, suck it up, if I don’t get it back in the socket it will stay that way!
“I knocked his block off!”
“Finally, a post that Jimmy Akin readers won’t start senselessly arguing over!” “What are you talking about, this is a clearly contentious picture about two cute little baby monkeys trying to drown each other!” “You’re crazy, come here and let me drown your sorry hide!” “Get your paws off me!”
(wide eyed innocent look at Richard) 🙂
“Want nice fissh, not nassty ape!”
“While they were in the pond, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.”
A little to the left, no lower, lower. Right therrrrrrrreeeee. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
“I say that we were determined to have this fight!”
“And I say that I we are fighting by our own free will!”