Attack Of The United Nations!

Storm_troopers(DAILY PLANET) — Turmoil has engulfed the United Nations. The taxation of trade routes to outlying countries is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to many small countries.

While the General Assembly endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, Secretary General KOFI ANNAN secretly dispatches two Jedi Knights, guardians of peace and justice, to settle the conflict.

They fail, leading to unrest in the General Assembly. Several thousand small countries declare their intention to leave the United Nations.

This separatist movment, under the leadership of the mysterious MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the world.

Secretary of State CONDOLEEZZA RICE is returning to the General Assembly to vote on the critical issue of creating a GRAND ARMY OF THE UNITED NATIONS to assist the overwhelmed Jedi.

However, Kofi Annan, mired in "baseless" allegations, is removed from power following a vote of no-confidence and is replaced by the sinister BAN KI-MOON of South Korea, who is voted emergency powers to address the current crisis.

Promising to renounce his emergency powers as soon as the crisis is resolved, Secretary General Ban immediately deploys a clone army developed by disgraced South Korean scientist HWANG WOO-SUK and dispatches them to points all over the globe.

Secretary Ban promises to stun opposition into submission with shock and awe provided by Industrial Light and Magic.

Meanwhile, CONSPIRACY THEORISTS long suspicious of the United Nations begin making preparations at their hidden rebel bases.

AND THE SAGA CONTINUES . . .

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

27 thoughts on “Attack Of The United Nations!”

  2. Um. I’m truly afraid.
    Speaking of which, you should see the “holiday” card I got from the ranch. Maybe I should scan it in and put it on my blog, but they have the imperial symbol over a stained glass window (from the LF Ranch).
    Wild.

  4. Fear not! We have engaged the contingent of menacing clones and are crushing them with our latest laser clone destructors…they are falling like parade dummies before our unrelenting onslaught…that wily curr Ki-Moon is next…on to victory!

  5. Helmet: Oh no! They’ve jammed the radar. *tastes screen* with strawberry. I hate strawberry!

  6. KWS,
    It’s Raspberry.
    “Raspberry. There’s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Star!”

  12. Brian Day:
    Did you not read:
    However, Kofi Annan, mired in “baseless” allegations, is removed from power following a vote of no-confidence and is replaced by the sinister BAN KI-MOON of South Korea, who is voted emergency powers to address the current crisis.

  15. You fools! That’s not Ban-Ki-Moon…that’s his stunt double!
    Isn’t Jared a stunt double? hmmmm…
    Something is fishy here…

  16. Of course Dark Helmet’s comment about strawberries comes later in the film when he and his cronies discover Yogurt’s hideout.
    “Yogurt! I hate yogurt! Even with strawberries!”

  17. “They must have hyper-jets on that thing!”
    “And what’ve we got on this thing? A Cuisinart?”

  24. “ancient religions and hokey weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side kid”

  25. See . . . I always thought Condoleezza was secretly a Jedi Knight.
    I mean, have you ever seen her & Barriss Offee in the same place together?
    (Sorry, was that too geekey?)

  27. Jimmy, what’s your conclusion? Do you see any need in principle for a global forum to address global issues? I do, but not in the form of the United Nations. We need an organization that is founded in the principle of democracy and less influenced by the dictators of the world. See what you think of this:
    http://www.UnitedDemocraticNations.org
    gary

Comments are closed.