A reader writes:
Through the work of the Holy Spirit a couple of years
ago, I was able to really turn my spiritual life
around and fully embrace my Catholicism. I’ll spare
you all the gory details, but Catholic Answers Live
played a big part.I made some important confessions back then to really
bring me back into full communion with the Church, and
I continue to go every month or so. But I occasionally
will remember some stuff I did in my past life, either
a long time ago, or even just before my "reversion".
Sometimes really bad stuff, like Darth Vader stuff.
Unless you are a mass murderer or a Satanist, I very much doubt that you’ve got real Darth Vader-like stuff. You may be being scrupulous.
I tend to be scrupulous at times, although it comes
and goes.
Ahh. See?
I know I’m not supposed to reconfess things
(which I don’t)
It is possible to reconfess sins that have already been confessed and forgiven, but according to standard moral and pastoral theology this is something that a scrupulous person should not do because it fosters further scrupulosity.
and I’m not supposed to worry about
past sins (which I do). The sacrament takes care of
that.
True.
However, I have heard on EWTN and elsewhere that
it’s a good idea to mention unconfessed (forgotten)
serious sins the next time I go, even though the
sacrament took care of them.
It’s actually a bit stronger than that. If you remember a mortal sin that your forgot to confess then you have an obligation to confess it, even though it has already been forgiven.
In the case of scrupulous individuals, though, standard moral and pastoral theology holds that they should only confess such sins if the following conditions obtain: (1) they know for a fact it was a mortal sin and (2) they know for a fact that they have not already confessed it. If they aren’t sure about either of these two conditions then a person with a scrupulous conscience should not confess the sin because it will foster further scrupulosity if they get in the habit of confessing sins that they aren’t sure were mortal or aren’t sure if they haven’t already been confessed.
Would it be a good idea
for me to make a general confession, mentioning the
things I can think of, as a way to move on?
I continue to receive communion almost every day. My
head tells me to keep receiving, but my heart wants to
rid myself of the old baggage. I do realize the danger
of always remembering more and more past sins, as well
as the danger of not trusting the sacrament. I’ve
really enjoyed the posts you’ve made in the past
regarding scrupulosity. I’ve also read Fr. Santa’s
book. I’m not a "hard case", but like I said, it comes
and goes.
Whether you should make a general confession is difficult to say and is ultimately a decision that you will have to make based on your own knowledge of yourself and how successful it would be in helping you get past the present issue. It’s not an unreasonable idea, though, as long as you don’t find yourself wanting to do it again and again.
If you do make a general confession, then do it in such a way that will maximize your chance of getting past the scrupulosity: Sit down with a really thorough examination of conscience and make a list of everything mortally sinful that you think you may have done. Write it by hand; don’t use a computer. Then take this list with you into the confessional and read it or, if it is too painful, give it to the priest and say "I confess this." Then get the list back and DESTROY it (e.g., burn it and then flush the ashes).
You can, of course, omit from the list things that you’re sure that you have confessed.
And if you do decide on making a general confession, be sure to set up a special appointment time with the priest. Don’t show up to do it right before Mass or when there are other people waiting in line.
Hope this helps!
20
Something that has always confused me is how an individual can really know whether a given sin was mortal or venial. I know there are several elements to a mortal sin, but as a relatively young Catholic I guess I haven’t gotten much catechesis about how to identify and evaluate each of those elements in real life. I imagine that many semi-scrupulous people could be helped immensely by a clearer explanation of that. Does anyone know where to find one, and if not, could we maybe have a post about that sometime?
I agree with francis. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too scrupulous for worrying whether I’m in a sufficient state of grace to receive Communion. I think it would help immensely if I knew which were mortal sins and which were venial. I’m a cradle Catholic, but it was just a few years ago that I realized masturbation was a mortal sin. Now, relatively recently, I find out that entertaining sexual thoughts is a mortal sin. This really freaks me out because these thoughts pop into my mind pretty frequently. If I were to interpret it strictly, I should never receive Communion. What does it mean to “entertain” anyway? Is it “entertaining” when you try to banish the images from your mind, but they keep on coming, so you just give up and let it play through to the end, knowing that once it’s finished, you’re done with it … for now? I guess it’s time to make another appointment with a spiritual director.
Regarding a general confession, I just happened to be reading this recently from St. Francis’ Introduction to the Devout Life:
“The first purification to be made is from sin;–the means whereby to make it, the sacrament of penance. Seek the best confessor within your reach, use one of the many little books written in order to help the examination of conscience.Read some such book carefully, examining point by point wherein you have sinned, from the first use of your reason to the present time. And if you mistrust your memory, write down the result of your examination. Having thus sought out the evil spots in your conscience, strive to detest them, and to reject them with the greatest abhorrence and contrition of which your heart is capable;–bearing in mind these four things:–that by sin you have lost God’s Grace, rejected your share in Paradise, accepted the pains of Hell, and renounced God’s Eternal Love. You see, my child, that I am now speaking of a general confession of your whole life, which, while I grant it is not always necessary, I yet believe will be found most helpful in the beginning of your pursuit after holiness, and therefore I earnestly advise you to make it. Not unfrequently the ordinary confessions of persons leading an everyday life are full of great faults, and that because they make little or no preparation, and have not the needful contrition. Owing to this deficiency such people go to confession with a tacit intention of returning to their old sins, inasmuch as they will not avoid the occasions of sin, or take the necessary measures for amendment of life, and in all such cases a general confession is required to steady and fix the soul. But, furthermore, a general confession forces us to a clearer selfknowledge, kindles a wholesome shame for our past life, and rouses gratitude for God’s Mercy, Which has so long waited patiently for us;–it comforts the heart, refreshes the spirit, excites good resolutions, affords opportunity to our spiritual Father for giving the most suitable advice, and opens our hearts so as to make future confessions more effectual. Therefore I cannot enter into the subject of a general change of life and entire turning to God, by means of a devout life, without urging upon you to begin with a general confession. ”
I agree with Jimmy though, that if you expect your confession to take some time, make an appointment. It’s frustrating to have to add the entertaining of violent thoughts to one’s list of sins as one waits for 25 minutes for someone to confess their sins. Be respectful of others, and I’ll work on being more patient and understanding as well.
I try to be patient when someone’s taking a long time in the Confessional. I went to Confession for the first time in 10 years at one point, so I was probably in there a while (I really have no idea how long it was) between having to confess what I had done over that decade and the priest trying to take care of me and my fears. It never would have occurred to me to call ahead for an appointment. I try to remember that when someone’s in there a while because it is my tendency to get impatient. The person in there may not know any better than what they’re doing and the priest really can’t tell them to go away and come back later, because what if they don’t?
I appreciate that Jimmy revisits this topic from time to time. I’ve found that it helps for me to distinguish the feelings of guilt for the sin on my conscience versus the natural regret I sometimes feel for having hurt others, not to mention the Lord God. I would love to learn how to dispel the regret, even though I can be still grateful to the Lord for His mercy and be assured of His forgiveness.
A friend once told me that she thinks of this phenomenon as a spiritual attack. In her experience, it seemed to happen right before she went to receive Communion that she would remember sins from her “past life” than had already been absolved. She described vividly the feelings of shame and guilt, but the overwhelming ache of her heart was feeling unworthy. It wasn’t until she heard a priest explain his understanding of Lucifer’s sin and how it related to his belief that humans were too base and worthless for him to serve and how he was especially repulsed that God would become one that she wondered, “Who else would want me to believe that I was not worthy to receive Our Lord than the Prince of Lies who sees me as lower than a cockroach anyway?” From then on, she has battled those feelings with a quiet, “Satan, be gone.”
In your opinion, providing we are talking about someone who confesses regularly and has no unconfessed mortal sins, is this a good way to handle it?
I can remember when, knowing my unworthiness, but also knowing I had been absolved from my sins, I had a period when I was hesitant to go to Communion. I heard in my head the words: “Take and eat; This is My Body. That was not a request.” Once I realized that our Lord was commanding me to receive Him, the temptation to not receive went away. It hasn’t been back sonce. Hope this helps.
I too have had a problem with scrupulosity. I kept remembereing sins from the past and I could not remember if I had confessed them. SAeveral confessors have told me not to go back, but forward. They told me that if I was truly sorry for all the sins of my past life, that they were forgiven, and to go back would in essence be not truly believing that Jesus really forgave me. Finally, an elderly, holy priest to me that all my sins from that point back were forgiven and to only look forward from that day. So, anytime the past sins come up, if prior to that point, I just ignore them and carry on.
“t’s actually a bit stronger than that. If you remember a mortal sin that your forgot to confess then you have an obligation to confess it, even though it has already been forgiven.”
I take it that failure to fulfill this obigation out of ignorance does not invalidate an otherwise good confession and that it is sufficient (now) to have an intention to fulfill this obligation in a reasonable amount of time.
I take it also that failure to confess a mortal sin because both the priest and the penitent had a faulty theology of the sacrament of penance (this was 1978) should be handled the same way as a sin forgotten at the time of the original confession.
The book, Spiritual Combat, admonishes us to feel guilt but to make confession and move forward from there, not looking back (while working on a corresponding virtue to the predominant vice which got us to the confessional in the first place). That’s because there is a good kind of guilt and a bad kind of guilt. The bad kind is an attack by the devil on your hope, designed to cause despair in your soul, make no mistake about it and see it for what it is! It’s in the guise of what is normally a good thing to have –guilt– which is why it is so easy to use against you after you’ve made your confession. But it is in your best interest to not look back, because it’ll not only eat away at your hope, but occupy your mind with things that prevent you from moving forward in virtue development. The book advocates working on one virtue at a time, to combat whichever the primary vice is, which led to the sin, with one exception: Lust. Thinking about combating lust only brings it to the forefront of your mind, which is the opposite of what you should do in the case of lust, so that’s the one vice you must simply RUN from instead of pro-actively combat. The rest of the vices, however, are simple enough in figuring out which corresponding virtue to work on. It says to pick one virtue because by working on a single virtue, the others also tend to coincidentally fall into place.
The Spiritual Combat is a good book when read and understood correctly and in its entirety, which teaches you how to fight vices while trusting in God instead of yourself, and a scrupulous person will want to spend more time on its section on the pride involved in scrupulosity and learn how to better trust in God’s forgiveness. It is an assuring book that puts the proper emphasis on trusting in God without the fluff that can too often be mistaken for advocating presumption, and the battle plan is detailed so as to give an enquiring mind a lot to chew on.
I have a question… what is the opposite of scrupulosity? Because I have that.
I excell at a nice solid examination of conscience. However, when it comes to actually confessing I tend to kind of freak out, my mind goes blank and I kind of generalize because I can’t remember. I need a touch of scrupulosity to balance my general freaking out and blanking at confession.
Karen, who’s the author of The Spiritual Combat? There’s several books at Amazon by that name.
Thanks!
Fr. Santa’s book Understanding Scrupulosity is a HUGE help if you find yourself wracked with doubts.
Hi Lynne! The Spiritual Combat “author” is generally unknown, and it is believed to be a compilation by different authors that evolved over time. However, you often see “Dom Lorenzo Scupoli” listed where it would have the author on what I believe is the latest edition. Here is the book’s ISBN number so you can be sure of which book it is:
0-89555-405-4
From Monsignor Luigi Giussani in this month’s Magnificat editorial:
…”being depressed over one’s own sin is precisely the way to stay ensnared by the wickedness within us.”
And from the July 3 meditation by Venerable Pio Bruno Lanteri:
Let us not measure God by our own limitations, imagining him to be what in reality he is not. Because in such fashion we do him a great wrong and injury, but at our own expense, reducing the bounds of his mercy as though he were a wretched man like ourselves. And therefore we do not dare to go and seek his forgiveness when we fail in our good proposals and return to our former sins, having such concept of his Divine Majesty as if he were of our condition and would grow weary of so much instability, weakness, and forgetfulness, and therfore would revenge himself upon our sins by taking away his helps, and allowing us to fall into even greater ruin, and believing that we, by our sins, hinder him from granting us graces, and other such similar foolish things, worthy of our ignorance. Our God is not so; let us attribute to him that which truly befits him, that is, that he is good, merciful, compassionate, a loving father who bears with us and forgives us. With this understanding of God, as is properly his due, he allows himself to be obliged to be merciful in dealing with us.
To Mary Martha who experiences the opposite of scrupulosity (is that really a word??): This is when and where we call on the Holy Spirit, as we kneel before the Tabernacle prior to waiting in the confessional line (a thin line these days..) We ask Him to bring to mind everything that needs repenting of and treatment for. One can also find helps on making a good confession (Examen of Conscience) from Fr. John Hardon, beloved Jesuit grandpa of us all, and from most holy St. Pio who even now waits for all his adopted spiritual children (any of us, by desire) to come along, before his entering Heaven.
Years ago, I had a friend who was a priest. He passed away when he was 90 so he had been a priest for some 65 or so years and was a very holy man. One day, we were talking about confession and he made an interesting comment. He said that it wans’t necessary to actually confess a particular sin if – and this is an important if – we were repentant of that sin and were ready to humiliate ourselves (his words) in the Sacrament of Reconcilliation by confessing the sin. At first, I wasn’t sure about that sentiment but the more I though about it, the more it made sense. Jesus knows all about every sin I have ever committed even before I do, so telling Him about my sins in the confessional is nothing more than an act of confronting and admitting a sin. If I am completely prepared to confess a particular sin and the priest knows that I am having a difficult time just stating what the sin is, he can still grant me absolution even though I have not articulated each and every sin. That is not to be confused with a person’s purposely not confessing a sin – you have to be completely prepared to confess the sin and be repentant.
I am tyring to study more on confession. I recently started to understand the true importance of making a good confession and have since tried to do so as embarrassing as it can be. I recently went to confession and felt so good afterward. I was looking forward to Mass today because I knew I would be able to receive Holy Communion. Then at the beginning of Mass I started remembering sins that may be considered mortal now – but at the time I didn’t really understand their seriousness. Do I have to confess this sin, it is from years ago, maybe 10 or more. I knew it was Satan trying to make me feel unworthy of the Lord because I just made a great confession a few days prior and was starting to feel so close to the Lord. Now, I’ve fallen back down and I feel like I make the same sins over and over and I feel like I’m getting nowhere. So, do I need to confess a sin from 10 or maybe more years ago? And, how do I keep the devil from reminding me of past sins in order to bring me down?
Mary, for a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be met: 1) It has to be grave matter, i.e., very wrong; 2) You have to know it is very wrong; 3) You have to have full consent of the will. Take away any one of those 3 conditions, and a sin is not mortal.
If you didn’t know the seriousness of the sins you committed long ago, then you could not have committed a mortal sin.
“And, how do I keep the devil from reminding me of past sins in order to bring me down?” I sometimes laugh and say to myself: “Do I really think my sins are greater than God’s forgiveness?” Satan can’t stand being mocked and laughed at.
Bill,
I guess maybe I just don’t want to confess sins from so long ago – haven’t they been forgiven already, and it was so long ago that I don’t want to bring them up again. I just feel like I beat myself up so much, I rack my brain and find things that I did in the past and bring myself down.