A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in
your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing
flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his lap top and connected it to a cell
phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas.
He sent an e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response.
Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer
then turns to the Shepherd and says, You have exactly 1586 sheep."
"That is correct; take one of the sheep." said the shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
car.
Then the Shepherd says: " If I can tell you exactly what your business
is, will you give me back my sheep?"
"OK, why not." answered the young man.
"Clearly, you are a consultant." said the shepherd.
"That’s correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
that?"
"No guessing required." answers the shepherd. "You turned up
here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know crud about my business.
Now give me back my dog."
AOBG
Oh, that is GOOD!!!
As this joke has circulated over the years (at least 10), two things have happened:
1) The person making the guess at the number of sheep has become much more technical, now toting a Blackberry and using GPS.
2) The number of sheep has increased, now to 1,586.
I predicte that in 20 years, it will be cyborgs in the country, and they will exactly guess at a flock of 1,378,321,527 sheep.
Some earlier versions:
The old accountant version of this joke, with 1,354 sheep:
—
An accountant was walking on the countryside when he found a shepherd who had a lot of sheeps. The accountant said to the farmer: “Listen farmer, I can guess how many sheeps you have. The farmer started laughing “Oh, dear! I have a lot of sheeps. You will not be able to guess how many there are. “Lets bet something: if I guess how many sheeps you have, you will give me one of your sheeps. If I don’t, I will pay you 100 $. “Ok, how many there are? “There are exactly 1354 sheeps. The shepherd was shocked: “Incredible! I really have 1354 sheeps. Well, a bet’s a bet. You win. Choose the sheep you want. “Oh, I will take this one”, said the accountant and he took one. “Wait for a moment, sir”, said the shepherd, “Let’s do another bet: if I guess what is your job, you will give me back my sheep, and if I don’t, you can take another one”. “OK. “You are an accountant. “Oh, God! That’s true. But, how do you know it? “Give me back my dog, and then I will explain you.
—
The biologist version, published in the Guardian, Sep 8, 2005, with 423 sheep:
—
A man is walking in the country and comes across a shepherd with his flock. He says to him: “I am a scientist and if I can at a glance tell you exactly how many sheep you have can I have one?” The shepherd agrees and the scientist says: “423.” “You are right,” says the shepherd, “take one.”
As he is leaving, the shepherd calls out: “If I tell you what sort of a scientist you are can I have my animal back?” “Of course,’ says the scientist. “You are a theoretical biologist.” “You are right. How could you know?” “You have taken my dog.”
—
Scottish highlands, mathematical bioligist version, with 387 sheep:
—
A mathematical biologist spends his vacation hiking in the Scottish highlands. One day, he encounters a shepherd with a large herd of sheep. One of these cuddly, woolly animals would make a great pet, he thinks…
“How much for one of your sheep?” he asks the shepherd.
“They aren’t for sale”, the shepherd replies.
The math biologist ponders for a moment and then says: “I will give you the precise number of sheep in your herd without counting. If I’m right, don’t you think that I deserve one of them as a reward?”
The shepherd nods.
The math biologist says: “387”.
The shepherd is silent for a while and then says: “You’re right. I hate to loose any of my sheep, but I promised: One of them is yours. Have your pick!”
The math biologist grabs one of the animals, puts it on his shoulders, and is about to march on, when the shepherd says: “Wait! I will tell you what your profession is, and if I’m right I’ll get the animal back.”
“That’s fair enough.”
“You must be a mathematical biologist.”
The man is stunned. “You’re right. But how could you know?”
“That’s easy: You gave me the precise number of sheep without counting – and then you picked my dog…”
—
The dumb blonde version, from 1997, with 352 sheep:
—
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and died brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.
Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, “If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?” The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, “Of course.” The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, “352.”
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, “You’re right! O.K., I’ll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock.” The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, “O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?”
—
How cruel to ruin a fantastic joke by pointing out that its een around for a while. Spoilsports suck.
In any case, great joke, I laughed out loud.
old zhou sures knows how to rain on a parade. it was supposed to be fun. oz sounds like a grade schooler stealing a punchline.
I thought it was funny to read the other versions.
Zhou, I thought it was interesting too. Call me crazy, but it sounds like you have the beginning of a Sociology doctoral thesis entitled “The evolution of joke telling in the Information Age: Counting the Sheep”
LOL at the first post – and all the other versions too.
Yeah, Jimmy’s consultant version was great & Zhou’s several versions were too!
I cringe at the word “sheeps.”
hey Zhou was good…I wish I could here him explain his confessions!!!!!!!!!!
If the consultant returned the dog, is he still a consultant?
True story:
I am Chicago-born and -raised, so I grew up surrounded by concrete. Then I went away to Iowa for university and fell for a fellow student who grew up on a farm. He dragged me to the Iowa State Fair, the grandaddy of them all, and forced me to tour the livestock barns with him. It was so traumatic, I became a vegan on the spot. The cattle barn was the worst. Not just the odor — huge drippy nostrils wherever I looked. I kept shielding my eyes as my boyfriend called out “Angus!” “Hereford” and other breeds of cattle.
Finally, we got to the end of the barn, and there were the most adorable baby cows. They were nimble and intelligent-looking, with appropriate-sized nostrils (to my mind) that didn’t drip. “Hey,” I said. “These aren’t so bad. What kind are these?”
“Sparki,” my boyfriend said. “Those are GOATS.”
No, I’m not blonde, I was just a stupid 18-yr-old city girl who’d never been to a farm or a state fair before.
I, on the other hand, grew up in Nebraska and after high school (1979) moved to Southern California… no lie… I had people believe me when I told them that I got out of school a few times per month because of Indian (native American) raids!!!
I, on the other hand, grew up in Nebraska and after high school (1979) moved to Southern California… no lie… I had people believe me when I told them that I got out of school a few times per month because of Indian (native American) raids!!!
it’s ok Sparki