Tim Powers (who says it’s okay to blog this) writes:
Did I tell you about the time a crowd of Jehovah’s Witnesses came to our house to tell us the truth about Jesus? I had read their pamphlet on why the Trinity is a bogus idea, and it quoted a whole bunch of the Fathers, as well as the Will & Ariel Durant History of Civilization, and I assembled all the full quotes that their pamphlet had given out-of-context phrases from, and I was well into my devastating rebuttal, when I —
Well, my eyes are no good, and I’ve got to read with a magnifying glass. And we were outside, and I said, "Let me see your Bible, and I’ll show youright in it why you’re wrong. I won’t use a Catholic Bible, since you’d believe theyr’e unreliable, so let me see yours." And they handed their New World Translation Bible to me, and I started to read something from it, but it was a real sunny day, and I accidentally set their Bible on fire. I’m sure they went home and told their friends, "Those Catholics just have to touch a Bible and it bursts into flames!"
ROFL!
Tim and his wife, Serena, say that the JWs refused to take back the Bible after this incident and so they still have it!
Incidentally, Tim and Serena visited Catholic Answers yesterday and sat in on the show. They even said howdy to the audience, so if you’d like to hear what they sound like,
Heh. I got to meet Tim Powers at a convention here in Madison last April, and I heard him tell that story. He’s a great guy in person–and his books are awesome!
It burns! It burns!!!
Great moments in interfaith dialogue!
PVO
What a remarkable story of a person who burns with the love and fire of the Holy Spirit!
Hmmm. Expiration Date begins to make a little more sense … .
On the upside, it’s possible that combustion made that particular NWT a more accurate translation.
That was just great. I guess what it “meant” is all up to the interpretation 🙂
You can always blame it on tongues of fire in reminder of Pentecost.
Well, now you need to read “The Bible Repairman.”
Seems to me that just proves the NWT is demonic. When you try to use it to prove the truth it starts spewing hell-fire! 🙂
D00d. The nice Jehovahs Wittnesses showed up at my door this morning (funny we should be laughing about them;) ). You know, I was wearing nothing but a thin robe (just got out of the shower) and they STILL wanted to “talk to me about the bible.” Totally a bloggable offense.
Oh. Forgot to mention that “The Bible Repairman” is a short story by Tim Powers. Just reread my post and realized that people probably thought I was referring to a DIY book.
Should have put out the blaze with holy water . . .
Some JWs showed up at my house a few weeks ago, right as I was leaving for work or something, and I couldn’t stay and talk. I eagerly invited them to come back, but the next time they did–last week–it was Sunday morning and I was on my way to Mass, and told them so. I’m afraid they’re going to give up on me before anything interesting happens . . .
A couple of months ago I got Mormons at my door, but I had plenty of time, and they were in my living room for three or four hours getting their worlds rocked. I had my Vulgate and Septuagint and Hebrew and the Fathers all ready for them and everything. Living room thick with icons and crucifixes, you’d think they’d have known better, but no. My wife was starting to feel sorry for them by the time they made their escape, but I wasn’t charitable enough for that.
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I’ve only had one experience with Jehovah’s Witnesses. Two women came to my door, and of course, they asked how I would like a world with no violence, no hatred, and so on. They asked if I owned a Bible, which I did, and then they asked if I were Christian. Yes, as a matter of fact, I’m Catholic. So we got to talking, they showed me their verse from Ecclesiastes about the soul ceasing to exist, and I gave them my counter-argument (citing, for example, the parable about Dives and the poor man). I don’t think they were used to any real resistance; they provided the nice lady angle, so one of them offered to send her husband over later. I said no problem. I boned up on Jason Evert’s “Answering Jehovah’s Witnesses”, and I was ready for him when he came. He also had another guy with him, but he didn’t really speak. He must have been in-training. So we argued back and forth our own perspective, and he became a little peeved that I was putting up such a resistance. He said if I wasn’t willing to learn, then there’s no point in talking. I said I’m very willing to learn, but I don’t want a monologue, we have to have a dialogue. He couldn’t accept this, and quickly ended the visit. I never heard from them again.
My father’s name is Joeva. It’s the Portuguese equivalent to the English “Joe”. On one of his first days in the America (he’s from Brazil) some Jehovah’s Witnesses came around and asked if they could “talk about Jehovah.” My father was still a novice English speaker at the time and thought they said, “talk TO Joeva.”
Naturally, he responded that he is the Joeva they seek. The Witnesses turned and ran. They never bothered him again.
The place where I am living now has a strict “no solicitors” policy. I conclude this means, unfortunately, that no Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses will come to my door. Very sad…
At the very least they could have a blog I could troll…
Let’s never forget these people (Jehovah’s Witnesses) are in a tough situation – what this organization (Watch Tower) has done/is doing to these poor souls is barbaric (fear of not selling enough WT subscriptions, depression from being seperated from society, anxiety about the end of the world and use of blood transfusions organ donation…).
Also, In a weird way, they are admirable (the people, not the org). I personally do not have the guts to go door to door to explain my beliefs. Some JW’s would make great Catholics!
Up close and personal Jehovah’s Witnesses can be wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Think about this-When the devil comes knocking on your door he may not have the ‘dark goth look’.They could be smartly dressed and wielding the Christian Bible.
I have Jehovah’s Witnesses family in the usa who practice the Watchtower JW enforced ritual shunning that i have not seen or heard from in 15 years.
The central CORE dogma of the Watchtower is Jesus second coming (invisibly) in 1914 and is a lie.Jehovah’s Witnesses are a spin-off of the man made Millerite movement of 1840.
A destructive cult of false teachings, that frequently result in spiritual and psychological abuse, as well as needless deaths (bogus blood transfusion ban).
Yes,you can ‘check out anytime you want but you can never leave’,because they can and will hold your family hostage.
The world has the Internet now,and there are tens of thousands of pages up from disgruntled ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses like myself who have been abused by the Watchtower cult.
Jehovah’s Witnesses are often a mouth that prays a hand that kills.The Watchtower is a truly Orwellian world.
Fanatics,don’t proselytize they metastasize
Jehovah’s Witnesses door to door recruitment is by their own admission an ineffective tactic.
They have lost membership in all countries with major internet access because their false doctrines and harmful practices are exposed on the modern information superhighway.
Poet and writer Mark Twain say’s: “if a million people believe in a stupid thing for a hundred years,it’s STILL a stupid thing”.
The stats out there suggest that your risk of being inducted into a destructive cult are twice the statistical risk of contracting chicken pox.
Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t proselytize they metastasize.
Are they knocking at your door?
—-
Danny Haszard former Jehovah’s Witness X 33 years and 3rd generation http://www.dannyhaszard.com
Once, the mormons showed up at my door but I didn’t have time to chat. I invited them back at a more convenient time, and the agreed. After they left the first time, my kids began to ask me questions about them… “Who were those guys?”, etc. I gave them a brief run-down. My kids were very young at the time.
The next time they came, my young son answered the door and yelled across the house, “Daaaad! The “morons” are here!”
I bet the map at the local JW temple has a huge circle around his house with a big red X on it and the warning to the brethren to stay the hell away from this guy! 😉
So, Tim…you Californians get much spontaneous combustion out there? 🙂
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“The place where I am living now has a strict “no solicitors” policy. I conclude this means, unfortunately, that no Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses will come to my door. Very sad…
At the very least they could have a blog I could troll…”
Lots of them, in fact. http://www.ldselect.org is a popular aggregator.
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