A reader writes:
I am currently going through a very rough time in my marriage—which could ultimately turn to divorce (not by my choosing). Someone has asked me to serve as a confirmation sponsor which I have agreed to. I have since thought because of my current situation and/or the possibility of a divorce would make me ineligible to sponsor this person.
My question, if my marriage fails over the next few months—can I sponsor someone for this coming Easter?
I ask you to also pray for my marriage.
I will do so, and I ask my other readers to do so as well.
The answer is that divorce of itself does not pose a barrier to a person serving as a sponsor for confirmation or for baptism.
Regarding confirmation sponsors, the Code of Canon Law provides:
Can. 893 §1. To perform the function of sponsor, a person must fulfill the conditions mentioned in can. 874.
Canon 874 lists the requirements for serving as a sponsor for baptism (i.e., a godparent), so the requirements for the two positions are the same. Here is what canon 874 says:
Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the
function of sponsor a person must:1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the
parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor
or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless
the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has
granted an exception for a just cause;3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has
already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life
of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty
legitimately imposed or declared;5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be
baptized.§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic
ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic
sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.
As you can see, there is nothing in here about divorce–especially divorce against one’s will.
The closest the canon comes to touching on the subject of divorce is in the clause that refers to "lead[ing] a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on." This doesn’t mean being perfect. It means leading the Catholic life sufficiently that you do not provide a grave scandal to the confirmand (e.g., by setting a very bad example for him that may lead him into a gravely sinful lifestyle).
If you were divorcing your spouse in order to be able to pursue an adulterous affair you’ve been having then that would violate this clause, but this doesn’t sound like what you’re doing. It sounds like you are trying to preserve your marriage, so unless you are doing something else that is gravely contrary to the faith that would prevent you from fulfilling your duty to the confirmand (e.g., setting a bad example for him by being a known, ongoing adulterer, helping run an abortion clinic, openly opposing the Church’s teachings) then there is not a canonical barrier to serving as his sponsor.
Even if you were initiating a civil divorce it would not automatically be a disqualification since there are situations in which civil divorce is warranted.
There also might be things in one’s past that, at one time, would have made one an unsuitable sponsor because of the scandal that could result to the confirmand (e.g., if you used to live fast and loose), but if these have been repented of and firmly put behind one so that one is currently leading a non-scandalous life then there is not a canonical barrier to serving as sponsor.
So divorce itself is not a barrier to serving as a confirmation sponsor, and should this unfortunate and painful thing happen in your case, it would not of itself prevent you from serving as sponsor.
I hope this helps, and I encourage my readers to keep your marital situation in prayer.
God bless you!
I know this is not what you were asking in your question to Jimmy, but in regards to marital problems, have you checked out Christopher West?
One of his pieces that my wife and I really liked that also helped re-align some of the thinking and direction that was going on in our marriage was his talk by the title: “Woman: God’s Masterpiece”
You can get it in his store under the “Talks on Audio/Video” section.
I obviously don’t know what’s going on, and you may have already tried a lot of this stuff already.
I’ll pray for you regardless.
What if, say, when I got confirmed, 11 years ago, I was not particularly excited about the faith and instead of chosing a good sponsor, I instead chose a favorite aunt who, while Catholic, has not been practicing for some years?
I suspect that the Sacrament was still valid, since the priest was confirming ME, not my sponsor, but I thought I’d ask.
Yes, the sacrament is valid even if the sponsor is totally inappropriate (or even if there ISN’T a sponsor).
can someone be a confirmation sponsor if they were not married in the catholic church, therefore they don’t receive communion but go to mass regularly and is the DRE. another one, if the senior (already confirmed) is openly gay but i don’t know if they act out any of they tendencies other than dress and omittance.