Here in the U.S. we have a species known as the barking moonbat, which–as far as species go–has a surprisingly high rate of Internet access. The barking moonbat is known for its extreme views on all manner of subjects, but it is not the most extreme critter to be found in the wild.
In North Korea they have an animal so extreme in its views that it can only be referred to as the howling Mars toad (left). Like the barking moonbat, the howling Mars toad has a surprising degree of Internet access, particularly in view of how little Internet access there is in North Korea.
A major habitat for the howling Mars toad is apparently the North Korean news agency known as the KCNA (Korean Central News Agency), which is the official propaganda arm of Kim Jong-il’s government.
I’ve seen statements made by the howling Mars toads employed at the KCNA before on the web. Now I’ve found a site that makes it easier than ever to have hours of entertainment listening to the shrill vocalizations of the howling Mars toad.
The site is WWW.NK-NEWS.NET, and I ran across it because of a story by the news agency Reuters, which is a major habitat for the barking moonbat. According to the story, nk-news.net is run by a San Francisco graphic artist named Geoff Davis.
"Their propaganda is often unintentionally hilarious and I couldn’t find an existing searchable database of the KCNA on the Web. Thus, NK News was born," Davis told Reuters.
Launched in May, www.nk-news.net boasts of having nearly every KCNA article since December 1996 — "over 50 megabytes of hard-core Stalinist propaganda … each article written in the unique and indelible style of the KCNA."
Readers can get a taste of that KCNA style from recommended key word searches, such as "burning hatred," which turns up 18 articles. The targets of that hot wrath include Japan, Yankees, "U.S. imperialist ogres" and "class enemies."
"Human scum" yields 25 KCNA reports applying that epithet to U.S.
President George W. Bush, U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and diplomat John Bolton. Rumsfeld also keeps company with Japanese officials in the "political dwarf" category.
Be sure to check out the pre-set searches on the site. My favorite so far is "human scum." Any time the KCNA calls somebody "human scum," you know that you’re in for some really over-the-top rhetoric.
Some of the other searches are based on inexplicable fascinations the KCNA has with certain things. For example, howling Mars toads are apparently fond of floral baskets and goat farms because these terms crop up enough in KCNA stories to prompt Davis to come up with "floral basket" and "goat farm" searches. (It apparently likes the former more than the latter. There were eight hundred and forty five references to floral baskets but only twenty-one references to goat farms in the database.)
A surprisingly high number of stories are headlined with the words "KCNA Blasts . . . "–as in "KCNA Blasts Japan’s Despicable Political Plot" or "KCNA Blasts Japanese Chief Executive’s Reckless Remarks." Any article headlined with these words is also a good bet for really fiery rhetoric, so I e-mailed Davis and suggested that he add a "KCNA Blasts" search to his list of pre-sets.
Have fun!
If they didn’t have nukes, this would be much funnier
Before passing along Jimmy Akin’s latest great find, some Chesterton quotes are in order:
“Somehow one can never manage to be an atheist.”
“He who does not believe in God will believe in anything.”
“I do not feel…
Meanwhile…
http://tinyurl.com/bklr3
What a great site. I laughed, I cried…
As the DPRK might put it, “Jimmy Akin is well advised to behave himself, as it is clear that he has an axe to grind with daggers in his belt.”
No floral basket for you!
What I liked was the random insult generator taken from his actual quotes in the KCNA.
http://www.nk-news.net/extras/insult_generator.php