Marriage Counselling

A reader writes:

My wife and I are Catholic. We have been married for several years. As of late, we have been going through some rough times. So much so, that we feel we need to see a Marriage Counselor. Unfortunately, our parish has not been as helpful as I would like. I called the Rectory and asked for a referral to a Catholic Counselor but they did not have one. They could only refer me to a secular counselor. Is this standard practice? What would you do? My wife and I love each other and want to resolve our conflict and grow in God’s Grace and Peace.

I can’t really say whether this is standard practice. I don’t have the breadth of knowledge of what parishes do in this situation to speak to that. I can, however, try to offer some practical suggestions:

  1. Ask if there are any psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, or other counsellors or mental health workers in the congregation. If so, call them and ask who they could recommend. (They might know who to call better than the parish staff.)
  2. Call a neighboring parish and ask them.
  3. Call the diocese and ask them.
  4. Try seeing a priest for counselling. If there is a solid monastery nearby, one of the priests there might be able to help (and might be able to make his time more available than a parish priest).
  5. Call some marital therapists and say, "My wife and I are both Catholics and think that we’d be more comfortable with a Catholic counsellor. Are you Catholic or could you recommend a Catholic marriage counsellor?"

If all else fails, brace up and go to a non-Catholic counsellor. Just be clear up front that you both care about your religion, which might prevent you from following certain kinds of advice (e.g., about sexual practices), and you want to make sure that the counsellor knows that.

Most counsellors will (or should) understand. It’s unprofessional not to respect the religious convictions of the patients.

Hope this helps, and good luck!

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

13 thoughts on “Marriage Counselling”

  1. Jimmy,
    There is Gregory Popcek’s Pastoral Solutions INstitute. If Greg can’t help himself, I know he has occasionally mentioned a directory of Catholic family therapists to which he could likely direct your reader.
    Also, if a Catholic therapist can’t be found, at least find a ‘marriage friendly’ therapist – there is a directory here:http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/ These therapists don’t recommend divorce and really work to save marriages if at all possible.

  4. Our archdiocese has an Office of Marrriage and Family Life with resources you are seeking. Do try your archdiocese.

  5. I was at as series of good Catholic talks on Family etc and one of the talks was a great Catholic Counsellor– goto http://www.maritalhealing.com/
    they can help perhaps too in finding someone in your area –I know the one is part (I think the whole group actually) of a Catholic Counselling group that they have to sign a document regarding thier profession of the Catholic faith!

  8. On that note, would anyone know how to find a Catholic endocrinologist? Is there a nationwide list of Catholic Doctors? At my last appointment for treatment of my diabetes, my doctor let his anti-Catholicism slip and stated that they’d find a cure as soon as the Pope gets out of politics (in reference to embryonic stem cell research). Needless to say, I was pretty miffed.

  11. As a graduate student at the John Paul II Institute for studies in Marriage and Family, I’ve been interested in researching different resources for Catholic counseling. Two that I think are great are:
    http://www.catholictherapists.com – This place offers a survey about basic beliefs so you can get an idea about whether or not you and the therapist are on the same page, belief-wise.
    http://www.meierclinics.com – This chain of clinics is in several different states. They are Christian in affilation, but I have a very solidly Catholic friend who practices at one of these clinics.

  12. Thank you all for your responses to Jimmy’s email. I too am looking for a good Catholic marriage counselor. I took note of all the resources. Hopefully one will work!

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