Bertie Bott's Beans Bodacious

If there is disagreement about J.K. Rowling’s literary legacy, she should at least be given credit for inventing something really fun, and the people at Jelly Belly are to be commended for bringing her idea to life.

Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans are sure to bring your family, friends or co-workers hours of fun at one another’s expense.

For those who may not be familiar with Bertie Bott’s Beans, they are (in the Harry Potter stories) basically jelly beans that have a magical property that makes them able to take on the flavor of, well, almost anything. They are unpredictable, and the only way to tell what flavor one may be is to taste it and see. A green one might be Lime Sherbert (yum), or it might be Broccoli or Slime Mold – there’s no telling.

In the muggle world they are real jelly beans that come in a bizarre range of flavors inspired by the candies in the books. They are available in candy stores nationwide.

Our family had a great time sitting around daring one another to try different flavors (this is more fun if the flavors and corresponding color schemes are not known to the taster, but not absolutely necessary).

Some flavors are just interesting (Bacon, Grass…), some are not as bad as they sound (I found Vomit mercifully toned-down and Booger just kinda salty…) and some are wickedly nasty (Sardine would not go away and Rotten Egg was truly revolting).

How a candy company like Jelly Belly goes about manufacturing and testing such a product is a mystery. I am not sure I really want to know how they decided what Booger was supposed to taste like. How do you know when you’ve got Earthworm just right?

We enjoyed them, if you could call it that, and not all the flavors are gross. Buttered Popcorn was pretty good. Still, I will be a little more cautious from here on out if offered jelly beans.

I’m just gonna go brush my teeth… again…

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

9 thoughts on “Bertie Bott's Beans Bodacious”

  1. “Sardine would not go away . . .”

    I’d think not!

    Manufacturing and testing must be along the lines of how it’s done with doggie & kitty foods. (I mean, how do they really know it tastes more like salmon or liver? Hmmm?) Just think, some poor salaried professional taster actually had to negotiate the complex palate of snot-flavored candies!

    Jo Rowling must’ve howled with delight when she found out they were making these!

    BTW . . . the Jelly Belly main factory is located in Fairfield, CA & you can even take a tour! They sell all their flavors & even bags of “belly flops” – beans that are malformed in the bean creation process. Way fun!

  2. They also recommend mixing some: peanut butter and grape for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich taste. I was given a box of these multi-flavored Jelly Bellys in 1993 so they’ve been around at least 12 years.

  3. I live in Brazil, and I’d like to know how could I manage to buy Every Flavo(u)r Beans? I couldn’t find them yet around here.

  4. My favorite Jelly Belly specialty flavor is buttered popcorn.

    My favorite “Bertie Botts” flavor is black pepper (surprisingly good). Realistic, yet tasty. Soap was disturbing.

    I shudder whenever I think of Professor Dumbledore saying “earwax.” Ugh.

    I was given a box of these multi-flavored Jelly Bellys in 1993 so they’ve been around at least 12 years.

    Jelly Belly’s been around much longer than that. I used to eat them as a child in the 80s.

  5. My grandson just loves these jelly beans, when some one gives him some. I can’t understand why since some of the flavors are truly terrible. If any one knows where I might locate these jelly beans in Northwest Ohio stores, I would appreciate it.

  6. Alyse, they sell them at the checkstand at out Borders bookstore. They may not at yours, but I’m sure they’d be able to get them for you.

  7. Does anybody know what the mystery bean is?

    Sardine and Sausage caused trips to the bathroom!

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