Reception of the Eucharist

A reader writes:

I am a Cradle Catholic who was married at a young age and divorced against my will two to three years later.  He was an unbaptized person but we were married in the Catholic Church. 

Allow me to intrrupt for a moment to note that this marriage is presumed valid until such time as it might be annulled. The brevity of the marriage is not itself a sufficient sign that the marriage was invalid from the beginning, but it may possibly be revealing of an underlying problem that was sufficient to invalidate the marriage at the time it was attempted. You may wish to investigate the possibility of an annulment for this marriage.

I was devastated and stopped practicing the Catholic faith…mostly because I felt unwelcome in the Church (my perception and not necessarily the truth but I was young).  I eventually was received into another church.

Twelve years ago I married another Cradle Catholic, divorced, who had not been married in the Church or before a minister.  Ten years ago, the grace of God lead me to a strong reconversion to my Catholic faith and have been practicing faithfully and raising our son in the faith.  I now relate more to the faith of a convert.  I never received the Eucharist out of respect for Church Law.

Praise God for your reversion and your desire to live in a way pleasing to God that is respectful of the Church’s law!

About 4 years ago I sought priestly counseling because I was very confused about how my marriage was making me feel in the context of my evergrowing faith.  My husband is agnostic but does not fight me and supports our parish and my raising our son in the faith. 

Again, more to be thankful for.

In addition he is in an advanced stage of Parkinson’s, partially paralyzed now from a surgery and cognatively compromised at times. 

I am very sorry to hear this and will pray for him. I encourage others to do so as well.

I am living a celibate life. 

Permit me to make a minor terminology clarification. Properly speaking, celibacy is the unmarried state. You mean that you are living continently. Sorry if this seems nit-picky, but I have a bugaboo about this.

The lack of being able to share our faith and relate together to living the Cross has been an increasing sorrow to me over the years and If I had the faith then that I have now I would never have been able to date or marry him without sharing the most important thing in my life. 

I understand entirely.

On the other hand I truly believe that God is taking care of him by having him with me — I could never leave him alone at this stage of his life.  And I believe Jesus is stretching out His loving arms to him.

Again, very understandable, and very loving.

 

An annulment is not a likely possibility for us. 

It sounds to me as if, seeing as how you wish to remain with your present husband (for as long as he has), that the thing to do would be to pursue an annulment on your first marriage and then, if necessary, having this marriage convalidated or "blessed," in colloquial terms. Then your marital status would be fully in accord with Church law.

I had expressed to this priest my aching for the Eucharist and he told me that he was giving me permission under the "seal" of confession to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. I have been doing so but more recently I have been having doubts and recently asked him again if he can really make an exception for me.  He reiterated that it was definitely within his authority as a priest to do this.  Then the statement came out recently from the Vatican about the sacriligious receiving of the Eucharist by divorced and remarried Catholics.  I have been sick to my stomach and have continued daily Mass and Rosary devotions but I have not received the Eucharist. I do not one want to profane the Sacrament.  And yet everything I read in the New Testament of Jesus is that he was most merciful toward sinners who knew they were sinners.

Purely and simply, my question is is it within the priestly authority to forgive and allow the receiving of the Eucharist under the "seal of confession?

Without knowing the exact way that the priest explained matters, I couldn’t comment directly on what he said, but in general priests have no ability, under the seal of confession or otherwise, to give people permission to receive the Eucharist if they are living in a way that would prevent them from being able to do so. If he implied such an authority on his part, he was wrong.

That being said, it is not clear to me that you are prohibited by Church law from receiving the Eucharist. You have said that you are living continently. This might be simply because of your husband’s current health, but as long a you are willing to live continently until such time as the two of you could licitly engage in conjugal relations (if ever) then your will is in conformity with God’s law (i.e., continence until such time as relations are morally permitted).

That being the case, you could simply go to confession and be absolved (if you haven’t already done so) and then begin receiving the Eucharist. You wouldn’t need any further permission beyond that.

If you are able to obtain an annulment on your first marriage and, if needed, a convalidation on your present one then conjugal relations would again be permitted. That would become more of a pressing issue if your husband had a dramatic improvement in his health than it may be now, but you might want to pursue the option for other reasons anyway.

In any event, if the conditions I mention about your living continently are met then you should be able to receive absolution and then the Eucharist.

Hope this helps!

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