Night Of The Living Canines!

Snarling_dogNEWS.com.au (an Australian news site) announced the shocking fact:

Boffins Create Zombie Dogs!

You’re probably going: "Wait! I didn’t know that scientists had created boffins! Much less that the boffins had in turn created zombie dogs!"

"Boffin," apparently, is a UK (and Aussie) slang term for scientists and doctors who work for the military, so a U.S. translation of the headline would be:

Military Scientists Create Zombie Dogs!

Except . . . they’re not really zombie dogs. They’re more like cryogenically-suspended-and-then-revived dogs.

But let’s not let that get in the way of a good headline! Let’s pretend that they really are zombie dogs.

The <pun intended>chilling thing</pun intended> is that the "boffins" intend next to create "zombie" humans!

Oooo-oooooo! Pretty scary, eh, kids?

Just like that movie on Monster Chiller Horror Theater!

No word on whether the "zombie" dogs have a taste for human brains, but I can imagine what would happen if you put them in a bowl in front of the "zombie" dogs!

In the meantime . . .

GET THE (CHILLING) STORY!

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

28 thoughts on “Night Of The Living Canines!”

  1. OK, this is going to sound like a weird issue, but here goes.
    What if this cryogenic preservation method actually doesn’t preserve the dogs, but causes a substantial change, i.e., destroys them? And then what if putting the blood back and giving the heart an electric shock is in fact re-disposing the matter to receive the substantial form of “dog,” so that what happens is that a new dog is created?
    Put it this way: science is a long way from being able to assemble a dog from the atoms up, as the Star Trek food generator seems to do with food and drinks. But it seems quite possible that science could take an almost assembled (i.e., only mildly destroyed) dog and put on the last touch needed to create a dog.
    If this is so, then…it might not be the same dog, but a new one. The “restored” dog might not be the Fido who save my life that time, but another dog anatomically identical and with all the same memories and habits!
    And if this is possible, then what are we going to say when they begin applying the method to humans? It would be an issue very similar to cloning—only grosser.

  2. A mild corrective is in order methinks. A “boffin” is not “a UK (and Aussie) slang term for scientists and doctors who work for the military” but any scientist or rather any really, really intelligent person who as we all know will always end up as a scientist anyway. There is no connotation of “military” in the term.

  3. Hmmm. . . . The first dictionary I checked specified a military aspect to the term. I see from checking others, though, that this isn’t always present.
    Jeremy: If the scenario you spell out is true then the dogs and humans would be . . . zombies.

  4. So if they can do this to a human what happens to our soul when we’re “dead”?

  5. I wondered the same thing, StephenL. I guess it depends on how “embodied” our souls are, i.e. how directly tied they are to the actual matter of our bodies. If you take the modern, gnostic view that the body is simply a dispensable shell in which the soul is bottled up, it creates the possibility that Jeremy Holmes mentions above — a new soul is created with each revival! However, from the traditional Christian view of much greater intermingling between body and soul, it’s less of a problem. Presumably your soul would still be tied to/residing in the body since it is arguably in a state of suspended animation rather than true death. Still, there’s no way in hell I would ever volunteer for this procedure!

  6. No offense or anything but who says the “soul” (if it exsists, prove exsistence if you intend to argue) leaves the body after death in the first place? Thats just north american christian belief that your soul goes to heavan or hell after death. Generally most Europeans belive in proper burial before relief of a soul. Some Asian cultures belive that the “soul” must first be soothed and comforted of all anguishes before the soul can ascend. So your just going by a contrascending point of view on things (that was offensive) that you obviously have no applicable knowledge of.

  7. okay, my friend shav has a point, you already know about the european cultures and asian cultures. But what about native american. Well native american cultures as well as native alaskin, they think in life after death but no god. Well there soul passes on and wonders around in the world we live in today which is what i believe in. Also you can find out that hmong culture is similier to the native american culture. But this dog that did die prb still has a soul and even if it is dead resumes to be in its body. But is not as funconial as if it where if it was alive. But the brain of this dog is dead and still is able to move. therefor it shows that it is the work of the dogs soul in that body.

  8. Well, you see, a dog dies, and we resurrect it. Since we don’t psychologically know what the replenishment treatment does to the mind, either corrupting it, or shadowing it, imagine what it would to a person that experienced death. It takes 10 minutes for the brain to die after oxygen is gone, so, this replenishment would need to rejuvenate the brain as well as the blood vessels, because if it didn’t, people would be walking comas.

  9. Ahh, I’m sorry kyle but I’d have to bring up that iciden in southeast asia bout the malaria riden mosiquitos that kill people within 10minutes then two days later they are reanimated due to a parasite that attatches to the cells and reanimates the heart. In which time the parasite attains impartial control of the hosts body. Parasite as it may be its not a fury bunny. So as which it acts in a “rabidous” manner viciously attacking random objects of movement. Sound creepy? well its real and its suppose to be contained. thats the truth and thats alll there is to it, for now
    http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm
    its actually a rather simple process if taken into consideration the effects of parasites. Many salt water parasites tat have been known to attack certain species of shark have been found to attack random(mostly) inanimate objects with little to no previous provoction. So as it stands all we need is a killer ass company with a cool symbol(umbrella) and we’re set for the next few years. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  10. See, the replenishment treatment is a salt solution. So, this could increase the predatorial instincts of the patient, thus increasing their violent urges to attack anything for they feel threatened. How would this ‘virus’ spread throughout Raccoon City?

  11. In all comical non-sense this is gettign out of hand. Though to answer your query. MUSTARD. Mustard is the enemy. In our case it can also be the lubricant for an enima. All of which proves to be quite that of a recipe for delectible flesh eating cristians from mars. Doom3 anyone? I see it now, 30years into the future we will have groves of flesh eating zombies hard at work in their slave factories makin miliions upon millions of shoes for al theose shoeless neptunians. oh how I feell for you shoeless victims of badly choreographed rap music. Its ben ravageing the scene for the past decade, hip-hop, R&B, “rap’ as its sometimes reffered to. Its actually quite deadly. At first you’re sitting their humming the Poke’mon rap then an hour later your pimpin’ the scene with 50cent and DMX. Its sad how quickyl we lose the youth today. I jsut wish there was something we could vacinate them with, iodine? Well for now I’m goin to play dead. But I’ll be back. ttyl V-V *-* ^-^

  12. I have seen more than one instance of a person drowning (in cold water) and being revived after being clinically dead for half an hour or more. After they recover they certainly seem to be the same people as before. This doesn’t prove anything, of course, except that defining “death” is trickier than we might think.
    The fact that some Europeans and Asians have a different view of what happens to the soul directly after death does not “prove” anything, either. Opinions are like noses; everybody has one.

  13. I don’t equate suspended animation with death. If during a sneeze, everything “stops” for a brief moment, you could consider us dead (some people do say that you die for just a brief moment) but we’ve never questioned whether we recover from a sneeze as a zombie. Also, if suspended animation is death, then why worry about what to do with frozen embryos?
    I wonder when the soul does leave, though. In St. Faustina’s diary, she mentions praying for the dying and seeing their souls taken away pretty much at the moment of death. So, if someone is dead for X minutes (death from natural causes or what-not) and are then frozen in the hope of medical technology’s ability to revive them someday, and centuries later, that very thing happens, then where would the soul have been all that time? Would God, in His omniscience, keep the soul with the body, since He would have known what was going to happen? I can think of yet more possible scenarios: Going to the afterlife but returning with no memory of it, or a zombie situation (a new soul or lack of a soul). And what do you do with a zombie, if that’s what it is? Is it human? Whatever it becomes is probably going to insist that it is, and that it has a soul, but you couldn’t really take its word for it, and you wouldn’t know whether it’s the same soul or a new one, if it did have a soul.
    I think the timeframe in which they want a person to be frozen after death is something like 10 minutes. That’s often enough time to revive a “dead” person who has drowned or had heart failure. Did their souls leave? If not, then in the case of frozen people, God in his omniscience might elect to leave the soul in suspended animation with a frozen body if He knows that revival will take place in the future. Then, in the cases of people dying and going immediately to the afterlife, it could be simply because God knows that this particular person is not going to be revived.
    Sometimes I think I’m better off not letting my mind wander too much :-O

  14. Thanks, Jimmy! I knew you would “clean out” what needed cleaning out.
    St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!

  15. Well, you see, a dog dies, and we resurrect it. Since we don’t psychologically know what the replenishment treatment does to the mind, either corrupting it, or shadowing it, imagine what it would to a person that experienced death. It takes 10 minutes for the brain to die after oxygen is gone, so, this replenishment would need to rejuvenate the brain as well as the blood vessels, because if it didn’t, people would be walking comas.

  16. Well, you see, a dog dies, and we resurrect it. Since we don’t psychologically know what the replenishment treatment does to the mind, either corrupting it, or shadowing it, imagine what it would to a person that experienced death. It takes 10 minutes for the brain to die after oxygen is gone, so, this replenishment would need to rejuvenate the brain as well as the blood vessels, because if it didn’t, people would be walking comas.

  17. okay, my friend shav has a point, you already know about the european cultures and asian cultures. But what about native american. Well native american cultures as well as native alaskin, they think in life after death but no god. Well there soul passes on and wonders around in the world we live in today which is what i believe in. Also you can find out that hmong culture is similier to the native american culture. But this dog that did die prb still has a soul and even if it is dead resumes to be in its body. But is not as funconial as if it where if it was alive. But the brain of this dog is dead and still is able to move. therefor it shows that it is the work of the dogs soul in that body.

  18. what if someone had fucked a dead duck, and it made it come back to life. Now that my friend is some crazy midevil shit.

  19. What happens if you are a necrophiliac. You go to a morgue, these people just got the treatment… You’re slowly climaxing, then suddenly, the corpse rises up and screams. This would be a hellish nightmare.

  20. Sit around and watch the tube,but nothing’s on
    Change the channels for an hour or two
    Twiddle my thumbs just for a bit
    I’m sick of all the same old shit
    In a house with unlocked doors
    And I’m fucking lazy
    Bite my lip and close my eyes
    Take me away to paradise
    I’m so damn bored I’m going BLIND!!!
    And I smell like shit
    Peel me off this velcro seat and get me moving
    I sure as hell can’t do it by myself
    I’m feeling like a DOG IN HEAT
    Barred indoors from the summer street
    I locked the door to MY OWN CELL
    And I lost the key
    Bite my lip and close my eyes
    Take me away to paradise
    I’m so damn bored I’m going BLIND!!!
    And I smell like shit
    I GOT NO MOTIVATION
    WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION
    NO TIME FOR THE MOTIVATION
    SMOKING MY INSPIRATION
    Sit around and watch the phone,but no one’s calling
    Call me pathetic,call me WHAT YOU WILL
    My mother says to get a job
    But she don’t like the one SHE’S got
    When masturbation’s lost its fun
    You’re fucking lazy
    Bite my lip and close my eyes
    Take me away to paradise
    I’m so damn BORED
    I’m going blind
    And loneliness has to suffice
    Bite my lip and close my eyes
    I was slipping away to paradise
    Some say,”Quit or I’ll go BLIND.”
    But it’s just a myth

  21. so, whats going on in da zombie scene, i got around to doin that duck think, quite unpleasant i must say. since the insides of the duck are like a labyrinth, i must say it did smell quite the same. not kyle’o what be up with yo bad self? I did capture da moment witha n canon zr90 digital 44x digitla zoom.

  22. I’m posting again on behalf of several incidences of zombie attacks! It’s here! It’s happening! We need more moments to be captured!

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