According to THIS CNN.COM ARTICLE, a prediction I made years ago has begun to come true. I felt fairly certain that eventually some well-meaning idiot (or group of idiots) would call for the banning of kitchen knives and other edged implements, and now three doctors in London have started the ball rolling.
See, guns are hard to find in Britain, so when you find yourself in a muderous rage you have to work with whatever is at hand. Stabbings are common.
These doctors (all emergency room docs at a London hospital) didn’t just call a press conference and whine, but actually published an article in the British Medical Journal, so they apparently have wider support in the medical community there.
Think this is too far-fetched to be of any consequence? The doctors called for "goverment action", and Tony Blair and company have obliged by proposing a new MINIMUM AGE for knife ownership (18). The anti-knife lobby are also calling for knife design to be regulated so that long, pointy models are kept out of the marketplace. Their article pointed out that such knives are totally unnecessary, and cited an exhaustive survey of 10 chefs to bolster their argument.
In the true spirit of this new movement, I have begun compiling a list of other items that should be under consideration for future government regulation:
- 1) Pillows
- 2) Baseball bats
- 3) Rope
- 4) Lamp cord
- 5) "Blunt" objects
- 6) Fireplace pokers
This is just a beginning, of course. You can add your own items to the list in the com box. It will make us all just that much safer.
Telephone poles
Sleeping Pills
Automobiles
Barry Manilow Songs
Eye glasses: As in the movie: “The Godfather”.
By the way, Tim:
What’s with the double bullets/numbering? Kind of a belt and suspenders thing dontcha think?
2) Baseball bats
Shouldn’t that be cricket bats?
Fishing line
Screwdrivers.
Pens. (Have you seen Joe Pesci in Casino?)
1 Scissors
2 Lumber
3 Hammers
4 Cricket bats
5 Hurling sticks
6 Bleachers (ever see angry soccer fans turn them into weapons?)
7 Chairs
8 Croquet mallets
9 Shoes (many children have been injured by other children kicking them)
10 Fingernail files
Ballpoint Pens.
Seriously! They can break locks, and…well, if you’ve seen Bourne Identity, you can know what else they can do.
Those things are very serious weapons, and a problem to society. I suggest a minimum ownership age of at least…oh, 21?
I’d better get out and buy my much coveted Shun Santoku before it’s illegal!
Yeesh.
‘thann
Why the rush to ridicule? If it’s true that a rounded point would be just as useful for ordinary kitchen use, but significantly less useful (or dangerous) as a weapon, why not impose a safety requirement that knives sold to the general public for kitchen use have the rounded design? Sounds reasonable to me.
If they do ban sharp pointed knives, I bet deaths from slashings, dismemberment, and throat cutting will go up and then people will want to ban all metal knives period.
Drops of more than 12 feet.
glass bottles
drinking glasses
auto windshield
aquarium glass
tv tube glass
windows
belt for pants
long hairs
decorative swords
The Bible… It’s a blunt object isn’t it?
Publius, I think you hit the nail on the head (Ooo! Nails, hammers and of course semi-automatic and automatic nail guns need to be added to this list). Back to Publius’s point, that’s exactly the fallacy of this argument. We’re treating the symptom. No matter what weapon we take away, there will be another one. Much better to treat the problem: murderers.
As the saying goes “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.”
Decker, do you cook? No way could a “round-point” blade do any justice to dealing with most meats. Actually, a round-point knife would be far more dangerous (to the cook, at least) because cooks would have to find alternate ways of carving, boning, skinning, etc. The pointed tip of the (very sharp) knife is used to accomplish all of these routine tasks, and more.
As someone else said on a cooking forum I frequent, “They can have mine when they pry it out of my cold, dead (albeit scarred) fingers.”
‘thann
Just use the list of murder weapons in the game “Clue”.
Maybe they should also out law / eliminate the places where the murders also occure? Kitchen, Living room, etc.
On a similar note I always (jokingly) said that the violence in the middle east could be solved by outlawing ROCKS.
I do cook. The cooks in Britian will have a hard time deboning meats and other things.
Maybe we should all wear hockey helmets when going outdoors, too.
If it saves just one life…
“If it’s true that a rounded point would be just as useful for ordinary kitchen use, but significantly less useful (or dangerous) as a weapon, why not impose a safety requirement that knives sold to the general public for kitchen use have the rounded design?”
Ever try to take on a winter squash (e.g., acorn, spaghetti, pumpkin, etc.) with a nursery-school-type knife? Or tried to clean a fresh-caught trout? But then, again, maybe it *would* work. After all, knives and other weapons are banned from the prisons, and there is *no* violence or murder in the prisons!
(Btw, do those ninnies have any idea of the damage I could inflict with the underwire from my Wonderbra?)
Well, looking about me I see a vast array of dangerous weapons. My collection of knitting needles, for starters, not to mention all my sewing needles, scissors, and kabob skewers. Those little corn thingies that hold corn on the cob are pretty sharp too; why you could put someone’s eye out with one of those!
Professor Plum did with the candlestick in the study.
If you can, go to a used bookstore near you and find a copy of the _Science Fiction Hall of Fame_, vol. IIA–in it is a short story, “With Folded Hands,” which takes the line of thinking many have rightly lambasted here to its necessary conclusions.
For man to be perfectly ‘safe’, he must do nothing.
Has anyone else read it?
If you can, go to a used bookstore near you and find a copy of the _Science Fiction Hall of Fame_, vol. IIA–in it is a short story, “With Folded Hands,” which takes the line of thinking many have rightly lambasted here to its necessary conclusions.
For man to be perfectly ‘safe’, he must do nothing.
Has anyone else read it?
Or has anyone read the short story Lamb to the Slaughter by Roald Dahl? It’s one of his *adult* stories. Read it in high school. It’s a murder mystery & the murder weapon is a very common item. No spoilers here! 😉 It’s a great story.
Speaking of which . . . I cook, too. A rounded-end kitchen knife would be usefull only for filling landfills. Can’t bone a chicken with a rounded knife!
Besides . . . didn’t Cain kill Abel with a rock or something? Ban all household rocks!
Here is a URL to an inexpensive ($2.21) audio version of With Folded Hands by Williamson — I am buying it (sounds mighty intriguing!). Thanks for the suggestion!
http://www.fictionwise.com/servlet/mw?t=book&bookid=25981&id=58370
‘thann
Regarding Lamb to the Slaughter, it was made into a Twilight Zone, if I recall correctly!
‘thann
Then there’s the deadly Biblical weapon, the jawbone of an ass.
Have any of the other commenters read the article? What the docs are objecting to is the long-kife with the sharp tip (like the one in the photo). They say that THAT design is not necessary for cooking, as a sharp tip on a much shorter blade can accomplish all those tasks you are mentioning. However, THAT design is particularly dangerous as it penetrates easily and deep. A sharp tip on a shorter blade will not penetrate nearly so deeply, and hence the injuries are less likely to be severe. I will defer to the judgment of those who do more cooking than I, but I know that in my house (where we cook 3 meals a day for at least five people), we get very little use out of the sharp point on the long blade. The sharp tip on the short blade is the one I use for cutting out the sections of the grapefruit. The long blade is pretty unwieldy for deboning and the like.
Now, if there really is some unique value to the design we see in the picture as a kitchen utensil, then I too would be skeptical of the doctors’ recommendation. But, if they’re right, then why all the ridicule directed toward their proposal? Shouldn’t this just be a reasoned discussion of whether that design is needed for ordinary household use or whether we could all get by just fine without it, and perhaps avoid some serious injuries inflicted in the heat of passion?
1) Electricity.
2) Fat.
3) Water.
4) Fire.
5) Stone.
6) Obsidian.
7) Wood.
8) Flying, boomerang, decapitating shoes.
decker2003:
Hmmm…something tells me it won’t work nearly as well but I will have to give it a try as I don’t use the short knives for general chopping and slicing. But I’ll give it a whirl and see what happens.
Even if this does work okay I don’t think banning them is going to do much. If people want to kill someone they will find a way.
9) Or flying, boomerang, decapitating hats that such shoes are based on.
10) bleach.
11) Household cleaning chemicals of all sorts.
12) Cloth.
13) Fingernails.
14) Animal claws.
15) Teeth.
16) Fists.
17) Throat clutching hands.
18) Hard heads.
It’s a minority of Brits that go into a ‘psycho-stabbing’ frenzy, so I don’t much like the implication of not being able to choose whichsoever knife I need to prepare a meal.
Besides which…I use knives for lot’s of other tasks, like…when I’m short of a screwdriver to change a plug…when I want to open tins of paint or things with practically immovable lids on them…in fact, the most dangerous knife I have ever used is actually a vegetable knife, which has a three inch blade…I have cut myself countless times with that horrid little thing.
Mr. Blair needs to start getting tough on the ’causes of crime’…rather than waiting for our unpoliced streets to become awash with bloody body slashings.
My brother was awarded a commendation for tackling a knifed criminal and defending others who may have been harmed by the knife wielding madman…our police have a hard job to do, that’s for sure.
God Bless.
DEcker,
What they describe is a boning knife. A boning knife CANNOT be used to slice vegetables or meats easily because the knife will bind. Believe me, I have a large kitchen knife collection and have tried the “wrong” knives for other purposes. Knife design is quite specific.
The people who propose this kitchen knife ban are, quite simply, simpletons.
‘thann
Ruthann,
Save your derision. They’re not simpletons, they just don’t do any boning in their own kitchens, or know anyone else who does. I would imagine that the overwhelming majority of the population either here or there never does any boning. And if that’s true, then they’re right that, except for a relatively small group of people, such knives are not needed and present a danger. If there’s a way to allow the few who actually do boning to have such knives without making them widely and easily available, then it makes sense to think about the proposal. A complete ban might go too far, but there are all sorts of specialty tools that we allow specialists to have, but try to keep out of the hands of the general population (ever try to pick up a syringe for household use?).
cited an exhaustive survey of 10 chefs to bolster their argument.
Perhaps this explains the state of British cuisine…
sumfin wrong wiv fish and chips floating in a pool of grease?
Calling these doctors “idiots” may have been too strong. But the tendency of this kind of thinking is just unrealistic. I can sympathize with a doctor who has just grown weary of treating stabbing victims and feels that “something ought to be done”, but you could easily see how this could spiral upward over time. Even if the ban were pretty effective you can bet that the majority of assaults would then be performed with clubs, bats or sticks… THEN what would we do?
I do regret using what sounds like a personal attack (idiots) in this post. I doubt these folks are really idiots. I just think they are advocating an idiotic policy.
The point is, these knives were designed for very specific reasons. Just because some folks don’t use all their features for their intended uses (& other use them for uses never intended!), the rest of us should not be penalized. In my experience, it’s the folks who don’t use their knives in this way who are the exception.
I agree with previous posters . . . if one is in such a state that would lead one to commit grievous bodily injury, would the banning of pointy-tipped knives stop them from picking up a 10lb cast-iron frying pan a la Samwise Gamgee? Or a crock pot? Heck, even a pistol-handled table knife would pierce a person’s heart if enough force were to be used. And an individual in the mindset to commit murder would definitely use that force. We are fallen. We sin. Cain taught us well. I literally pray every day for an end to such violence. But God gave us free will. If someone wants to kill, the lack of pointy knives won’t stop them. Sadly.
And ukok . . . the answer to your questions is “Nuffink. Nuffink at all!” 😉 But there must be Guinness & malt vinegar!
Cut down trees!
They use the wood to make clubs, spears etc.
So destroy all the forests – elimnate wood.
Fr. S.
So it was the jawbone of an ass?
I really got that wrong – I thought it was the assbone of a jew.
(sorry, couldn’t resist it )
A lot of people express the objection that, if you take away one weapon, people with violent intentions will simply find another. But, if the weapon they find is less dangerous, they will do less damage. As the article says, the reason the British docs are seeing stab wounds is that they don’t see gunshot wounds, because guns are very hard to come by in the UK. I dare say that a knife, even a boning knife is less lethal than a gun (you have to get a lot closer to your victim to inflict a wound) and so it would appear that the lack of ready access to guns is reducing the damage inflicted by those with violent intentions. They now have to resort to weapons that don’t work from a distance, allowing their victims a much better chance of getting out of harm’s way. Those who are convinced that reducing access to weapons makes no difference have the counter-example of Britain (and many other countries) where guns are hard to come by and the murder rate is a fraction of what it is in the U.S.
I understand that there are many other sound arguments to be made against eliminating access to weapons, but the argument that it won’t make any difference in the rate of violence is not one of the stronger ones.
Not to mention my broadsword, my bow and arrows, my atlatl, my sheath knife that lives in my car, my stag-handled dagger, and a few other odds and ends. Why on earth I have not cut a murderous swath through my little town is a mystery to me…
What about organisms that are deadly in themselves that you find out in the wild from venomous snakes,
to black widow spiders,
to Deadly Amanita fungi (Death caps).
I mean anyone can pick one of these up out in a patch of trees or a field and then go crazy with them.
How do you outlaw an organism?
4,912) Jimmy Akin (his razor sharp wit is likely to cause potentially deadly lacerations)
1)Chain saws
2)Chains
3)Saws
And, for that matter, why are the most devious and deadly murderers in fiction to be found in British mysteries?
Ok guys,
As a blind person who travels campus each day, here is my list of potentially dangerous weapons which should be banned, or perhaps obtained and used under license only.
Bikes, skate boards, inline skates, mopeds, delivery trucks, any idiot behind the wheel, and just because I giggle with unreleased mischief at the thought of using such a thing, staple guns, bwaaaahehehehehah!
Laura and Marlin, who pulls her out of on-coming college students every time, GOOD BOY!
Decker,
You’re missing the point (no pun intended). If the state takes it’s mission to see to the common good so seriously as to consider banning certain kinds of knives (what? ‘assault knives’?) then they’ve gone so far as to have taken away basic liberty. A government that tells you “you don’t need that knife, this will do” is a fearsome one, indeed. Living in a free society, where we can worship in *authentic* freedom, requires that we live in a society with risk (so long as we are all fallen humans). There is no way to make a law to make people be “good”.
Soft totalitarianism has crept up on the UK, and puts it’s nose under the tent here, too. But we have had the fortitude to stomp that nose when we see it – so far at least.
Tim:
You really think they might not be idiots? Being charitable doesn’t include not calling a spade a spade, does it?
Mike
Ken, I like the variant, probably from the Society for Creative Anachronism,
Crossbows don’t kill people.
Quarrels kill people.
Karate means “empty hand.” No weapons are necessary if you have the skill and intent to kill. And as the song goes, “they can’t take that away from me.” They could, and probably will, consider making the skill illegal, but government-sponsored ignorance has already been tried and found lacking.
Hey! Knives don’t kill people! Blood loss and other things do!
Y’know…people will kill other people no matter what you do…
We should spend our energies promoting policies that would make such knives unnecessary and understanding the reasons why people own such knives to begin with. We should instead ban all meats that need to be boned with such knives. Also, ban fruits and vegetables that require them. Once these foods are either completely banned or the process of cutting them is safely in the hands of government approved institutions then there will be no need for the common-folk to own such knives and the world will be a better place.
We should also have crisis support centers for people who suddenly find themselves in need of such a knife through no fault of their own.
A modest proposal, Chris-2-4! 😉
Taken a step further, folks should just use their teeth for everything. Unless one is Hannibal Lechter . . .
“No weapons are necessary if you have the skill and intent to kill.”
‘Zacly, Laura!
“And ukok . . . the answer to your questions is “Nuffink. Nuffink at all!” 😉 But there must be Guinness & malt vinegar!”
Gene, great to eat on a ‘no-meat’ Friday too!
(preferably with mushy peas, gravy and a liberal smattering of salt! :yum: )
And a nice ‘Gold Label’ for me rather than the Guinness, but I’m not that picky…as I can attest by the life I have lived 😀
God bless.
Well- I’m not against their minimum age law.