Burn, Bunny, Burn!

You may remember that it is official Church teaching that chocolate bunnies are the enemies of mankind. That’s why they have to be decapitated immediately by biting their heads off first, before eating the rest of them.

SolardeathrayWell, some holy soul has found a new way to dispatch them from this mortal coil.

Yes! We can all breathe a little easier now that the SOLAR DEATH RAY has been invented.

The Solar Death Ray (left–click to enlarge) uses 112 mirrors to focus the light of 112 tiny suns on its target.

Its inventor appears to wish to remain anonymous, so we will simply refer to him as Dr. Genius.

Dr. Genius has a handy animation on his web site www.SolarDeathRay.com, to explain how the Solar Death Ray works.

Here’s a look (right):

As you can see, tiny dots fall from the sun, which strike the surface of the Solar Death Ray and are reflected up to the Target Point.

These dots, known as Solar Death Dots (my term), are not related to solarmanite (Thank God!).

Dr. Genius, a true benefactor of mankind, has already been benefacting mankind by turning his Solar Death Ray on a host of different targets. (Wide testing is necessary when you’re doing SCIENCE! of course.)

Bunny2 Among the victims on the altar of SCIENCE! has been this mankind-enemy (left), deceptively named "Sunshine."

Well sunshine is what this evil bunny got!

"Sunshine" did not long survive the ministrations of the Solar Death Ray.

Instead, "Sunshine" was soon treated to the fate deserved by all enemies of mankind. (CLICK TO SEE FIERY JUSTICE IN ACTION!)

Yes, Dr. Genius’s marvelous contraption has dispatched one more enemy of mankind, one more agent of horrible, loathsome (if delicious) abnormality from Outside that was secretly plotting against mankind and needed to be extirpated from this earth.

Look, then, upon the triumphant results! And let this be a warning to all enemies of mankind! The Solar Death Ray is your fate!

Bunny7

But wait! Is "Sunshine" really dead? Or has he just reverted to his sinister, protoplasmic Shoggoth-form???

Only time will tell!

In the meantime,

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. GENIUS’S MARVELOUS CONTRAPTION!

And suggest your own victims for the altar of SCIENCE!

SCIENCE!

(Cowboy hat tip: Small But Disorganized.)

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

7 thoughts on “Burn, Bunny, Burn!”

  1. And the evil Bunnies join in the horrific destruction that has been the fate of the pernicious Peeps. Google Marshmallow Peeps.
    nyahahahahahahahahahah

  2. Dr. Genius’s only claim to fame is that he has copied that Greek guy – can’t remember his name right now – who set the enemy fleet alight by focusing and reflecting the sun’s rays onto the enemy ships; and that was BC.

  3. The greek guy was Archimedes and they definately made a much larger one on MythBusters. Still, it is cool to see Paganism get zapped.

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