Y’know how you sometimes run into maddeningly overused cliches in advertising?
For example, when was the last time you read a restaurant menu that described something as being made with "tomatoes"? That’s it: just "tomatoes."
I’m betting it’s been a while.
For Madisson Avenue has apparently decided that the word "tomatoes" cannot go unaccompanied. It must be chaperoned by two adjectives.
And not just any two adjecives. Saying "juicy, delicious tomatoes" ain’t enough. It has to be two specific adjectives: "red" and "ripe."
Yes, that’s right. Because of some evil adman sitting, cackling in his office somewhere, you now can no longer pick up a menu with a straight-forward description of a food as being made with "tomoatoes." It has to be "red ripe tomatoes."
Every.
Single.
Dang.
Time.
And that’s not the only ubiquitous advertising cliche. How about "farm fresh eggs," which is likely justifiable only in the sense that the eggs were at one time on a farm (likely an industrial farm) and they were at that time fresh. Now, they’ve been in cold storage for who knows how long, yet the evil adman wants you to believe that they have been whisked to your table fresh from under the hinder of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm’s favorite laying hen.
Restaurants aren’t the only place that use such deceptive cliches. How about when you’re at the end of a TV episode and the announcer tells you to watch some clips from next week’s "all new!" episode, despite the fact that next week’s episode is a clip show!
AAAAARGH!
<hyperbole>I think it’s time for Madison Avenue to get an "all new" vocabulary before I give an evil adman such a thumping with my "farm fresh" fists that he becomes a "red ripe" pulp.</hyperbole>
Share your own evil ad cliches in the comments box.
I don’t watch advertising much, but I’ll bet there has been a number of “The Year’s Best [drama|movie|action move|etc)” already. I’ve also wondered what “Critically Acclaimed” meant as well. Usually movies to avoid for me.
In that vein, Adrian, I loathe this one: “The most well-reviewed movie of the year!”
Exqueeze me? How’s that for fence-sitting. “Well-reviewed” soesn’t specify if these reviews are positive or negative, just that the film has been reviewed a whole darn lot. There’s no there there!
Hi Guys!
My partner and I actually had to come up with a bunch of these types of slogans for the hair salon that we own. We started out talking about “lush, voluptuous hair that spills over the head in shimmering cascades” but couldn’t stand ourselves. Our promotional t-shirts now have bitter little things on them like: “You went out of the house like that? Lest us help [shop logo].” Ultimately we were more satisfied with being a little bit crass.
What I loathe is “hip” mis-spelling (which does not just plague your grocer’s freezer…)
I’ll forgive “Cap’n Crunch” cause he’s been around for ever but some brands are just out there (of course, I’m drawing blanks now that I WANT to call them to mind!)…
Words like “kool” “stuf” “Brite” are commonly attached to products, making them seem – one supposes – more “hip” and “cool” and, if you will, “X-treme”…
Bollocks!
One that has been annoying me for a while is when these ‘health’ food companies try and sound healthier by manipulating the wording on ingredients such as : ‘organic evaporated cane juice’. Sugar by any other name…
Did you know there are hardly any movies any more? More often than not, you and I are being pitched a “movie event [of the year]” or a “theatrical event.” Ditto for TV shows: “the TV event of the year!” Ugh…
In Japan, every movie that comes from the US is proudly and ambiguously touted as being “A Great Hit in America!” when they really should say: “it’s just the Pelican Brief.”
Of course the gloom-and-doom pharmaceuticals in the States drive me nuts! With the breathy female voice compassionately confiding: “Do you have this disease we just made up? Go to our website so we can convince you through our unscientific survey that you need to be addicted to: Plezthrall.”*
*Plezthrall. A product of Kleptah, a division Synthtron Inc. Plezthrall has been known to cause dizziness, vomiting, temporary blindness, seizures, stroke, aneurisms, and death. Do not take Plezthrall if you have a brain or a spine. If you see Plezthrall on the street, do not approach Plezthrall without armed police backup. Plezthrall knows your wife and where your children go to school.
I wish the marketing mavens would give the American public a little credit when they design print ads (newspaper, billboards, etc.). Did anyone on Madison Avenue take a course in grammar or punctation? Bad enough that we do not educate our children when they are in school but we compound the problem by dumbing down in mass communications.
John K.
P.S. One other irksome phrase used by the talking heads on TV: “…past history indicates blah, blah, blah…”. Shouldn’t the listener know that anything historical occured in the past?
Now that I’m starting out as a car salesman (please pray for me), I have to work on some cheesy lines.
Pre-owned still annoys me. Pre-loved is another euphemism. Just call the thing used!
It really grates me when I hear the phrase “free gift”. How many times have you had to pay for a gift? Arrgh!!
Concerning the “new episode” just being a clip show . . .
I watch Teen Titans on Cartoon Network and the WB network (I get to be a comic fan too). Cartoon Network is ahead in the episodes (maybe even a full season) but that doesn’t stop the WB from touting an “All New!” “Never before Seen!” episode of Teen Titans that has been played 10 times on Cartoon Network.
What really grates on me is those ads which promise a special bonus if you “call in the next 10 minutes”. Unless there’s some spy technology in such ads I don’t know about, there’s NO WAY they can tell when you watched the ad. 😛
When I was a child, I amused my parents by always quoting the adjectives on the restaurant menu. “I’d like a delicious hamburger, please.”
“Oh, don’t worry, he doesn’t bite.”
–said to little Billy while he is running for dear life from psychotic 200 pound dog chasing him while he is trying to complete his paper route.
And don’t forget the granddaddy of all ad cliches: “NEW and IMPROVED!!!”
English Vocabulary 101 for MadAve types: “New” means the product HASN’T existed before. “Improved” implies that it HAS. It CAN’T be both “new” and “improved” at the same time….
What about a “certified pre-owned” car? I think I could certify that all the used cars on the lot were pre-owned! 😉
I can’t stand it when they call for “pre-boarding” on airline flights.
“Free cell phone!” closely followed by “Free long distance!”
Of course, you have to sign a 12 – 24 month service contract for something like $40 – $80 per month. Yet somehow we’re supposed to think that we’re getting something for free.
It annoyed me enough to switch to a pre-paid cell phone. I paid $80 for the phone, but service only runs me about $100 a year. So I guess I can live without getting the “free” phone. 🙂
And another thing!
I absolutely HATE how bossy ads are! “Go out and do this” “Contact your doctor” “Buy now” “Take a test” “Check your oil” “Ask a friend” “Don’t delay” “Eat this” “Don’t eat that” “Find us on the web”
For crying out loud, it’s bad enough I have to spend an entire day obeying my superiors’ every whim, now I come home and have to listen to the TV boss me around all night?! In a minute, TV! Cantcha see I’m busy?!
At the very least, I think as a “valued potential customer” I deserve a “please”! Would it hurt to be polite, Madison Avenue? Just once?
My vote for most loathesome ad line… “only X.00-dollars with MANUFACTURER REBATE”. Rebates are an evil thing, a blight on the landscape. Uglier than a star-nosed mole. Just sell it for what it’s worth, already, and quit trying to bilk your customers out of an interest free loan that lasts for MONTHS!!