Bless This Mess

Okay, I don’t normally watch network TV (or any TV), but this season I have found myself catching (occasionally) a couple of reality TV shows that are in proximity to Lost and 24.

These shows are called WifeSwap and (if I remember correctly) Trading Spouses. They are on ABC and FOX, respectively.

Both involve (from the 3-4 episodes I have seen) the mother of one family switching places with the mother of another family. When this happens then–formally or informally–the mother at first conforms to the rules of her new family and then begins to impose the rules that she is used to.

The producers of the shows seem to be trying to pick the most extreme (and clearly dysfunctional) families that they can find.

From my limited viewing experience of these shows, it seems that they involve pitting commonly stereotypical families against each others. Specifically: One mom comes from a messy, cluttered, rambunctious, and (usually) more-explicitly-Christian family than the other, who comes from from a clean, spartan, sedate, and (usually) less-explicitly-Christian family.

Part of the point of the shows is to see how the introduction of both moms affects both families. Inevitably, the "messy" mom comes across as more human than the "cleaner" mom–and the "messy" mom seems to have longer-lasting and more positive effects on the "clean" family than visa-versa.

That’s fiine with me.

Though I appreciate cleanliness (and especially hygiene), ultimately people are more important than things, and while venturing too far in either direction is unhealthy, it’s better to be messy, cluttered, rambunctious, and Christian than clean, spartan, sedate, and non-Christian.

Here’s to bigger famlies!

(Which regularly accompany the "messy" families rather than the "clean" moms.)

Author: Jimmy Akin

Jimmy was born in Texas, grew up nominally Protestant, but at age 20 experienced a profound conversion to Christ. Planning on becoming a Protestant seminary professor, he started an intensive study of the Bible. But the more he immersed himself in Scripture the more he found to support the Catholic faith, and in 1992 he entered the Catholic Church. His conversion story, "A Triumph and a Tragedy," is published in Surprised by Truth. Besides being an author, Jimmy is the Senior Apologist at Catholic Answers, a contributing editor to Catholic Answers Magazine, and a weekly guest on "Catholic Answers Live."

7 thoughts on “Bless This Mess”

  1. The new Steve Martin [i]Cheaper by the Dozen[/i] draws this same sort of big-rambunctious-reasonably-happy-family-messy-house / small-restrained-unhappy-one-child-family-neat-house dichotomy. Not a great film, but I like that aspect of it.
    (I even like the big-rambunctious Martin [i]Cheaper[/i] family better than the big-efficiency-expert-run family of the original [i]Cheaper by the Dozen[/i], who struck me as so quirky, as if to say, “You have to be an oddball and an efficiency expert to have a family this big.” The Martin version seems to say, “You can be an ordinary schlub and have a big family, and that’s okay, if a little out of control.”)

  2. We saw Cheaper when my wife was pregnant with or 5th child. I can’t tell you haw many times the youngest (6 yrs) said “we are going to be like that movie when the baby is born”. He was apprehensive about another sibling and figured we would get even more out of control. Now that my daughter is 9 months he recently admitted that he was wrong.
    We regularly watch and discuss Wife Swap. We use it to teach the lesson that Jimmy described and to warn the kids about how out of control this can become if we let it.

  3. I think the only so-called “reality” shows worth watching are the historical reenactment sort that you see on PBS. You can chuck all the rest into the nearest dumpster, and the world would be a better place for it.
    And “wife-swap” is simply morally objectionable, treating the divine instiution of the human family as a game — and the very title is a sexual innuendo. It cheapens the family even further. I wouldn’t touch that show with a ten foot pole, not even if I were wearing a level A hazmat suit!

  4. My husband and I agree that the producers of the show must obviously seek out extreme families. If the wealthy woman who was shown (WifeSwap) last Wednesday had swapped with *me*, she would have been bored, probably felt cooped up in our little duplex, but she wouldn’t have been aghast (I don’t think!) at the crazy amounts of clutter and hoarding that the “messy” woman had in her home. That was one of the most extreme examples of clutter I’ve ever seen. The thing is, the producers don’t want boredom, they want drama. They don’t want fun, positive people who are tolerant and flexible, they want conflict. Therefore, I think they seek out people who are rigid and inflexible and likely to run their mouths off. Certainly they must get extra points for being emotionally fragile.
    I still watch, though, because it’s interesting to see how other people live, as scripted and edited as the show obviously is.

  5. I will never forget the chore list we had when I was growing up with 5 brothers & 7 sisters. If I was put down to do the sock pile I would cry and try to sell every thing I owned if one would swap with me. I would have rather cleaned the bathrooms than 3 baskets full of socks. I have 3 children and I still hate folding socks. I quess you could say I have a sock phobia, (ha ha). My oldest will be leaving for college in Aug, and I know I will miss her but AHHH, she is very messy and the break will do me good. The thought that all of those clothes will be on her floor in her dorm or apartment makes me very happy.
    God bless you all
    JO
    JMJ
    Jesus Mary Joseph I love you save souls

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