A reader writes:
I have a friend who’s father is (nominal, cultural) Catholic and mother is
Protestant. For some reason she was never baptized as an infant. She has since
come to faith in Christ and wants to be baptized. But she does not believe the
Catholic Church is Christ’s church, and so does not want to be baptized in it.
However, her father will not allow her to be baptized in a Protestant church.
She is 19, but she is a student still dependent on her parents.If you were in my position, what would you advise her to do? Should she disobey
her father and get baptized in a Protestant church? Should she get baptized in
a Catholic church even though she does not desire to be Catholic? Should she
simply seek out the nearest river and have a layman baptize her?
This is a problematic situation on several fronts. The young woman is a legal adult now, and this makes her father’s refusal to let her be baptized in accordance with her conscience problematic. On the other hand, the girl’s desire to be baptized outside of the Church is itself intrinsically problematic.
To deal with your questions in reverse order:
4. I can’t recommend that she have a Catholic layman baptize her since laymen are only permitted to baptize in emergency circumstances, and it doesn’t sound as if she is in one. I also can’t recommend that she have a non-Catholic layman baptize her since what she should do is investigate the Catholic faith.
3. She can’t be baptized in the Catholic Church without believing in the Catholic faith, so this isn’t an option either.
2. If, after investigating the claims of the Catholic Church, her concience tells her that she should be baptized in the Protestant church then she is obligated to follow her conscience.
1. What I would do is encourage her to set aside the situation with her father and look at the question of whether the Catholic faith is true. I’d assure her of my conviction that the Catholic faith is true and offer to provide her with material to help her investigate this subject and to help her get answers to questions she may have.
This is really the ideal way of dealing with the situation. It may be difficult for her to set aside the situation with her father, but God will do his part–in his own time–to help her find her way to the fullness of the Christian faith.
Since the See of Rome recognizes the full validity of Trinitarian baptisms performed by Protestants, why should she not be baptised?
Why should she wait until she decided that the Roman Catholic Church is the only true manifestation of the Church (something that not even Rome says) before she receives baptism? Obviously, she already has the baptism of desire.
I’m confused with your recommendations, because they seem to go against what I understand about Catholic teachings on the matter.
The individual in question *should* be baptized at a reasonable and appropriate time and under the best circumstances possible. It can be reasonable to delay baptism (provided there is no foreseen danger of death) in order to obtain the best circumstances.
The best circumstances include being baptized as a Catholic. Even though baptism is valid outside the Church, baptism as a Catholic unites one with the fullness of what Christ wishes for his followers. This is possible only through baptism as a Catholic since in the Catholic Church alone subsists the fullness of the means of grace and the ecclesial reality willed by Christ.
To put it succinctly: Apart from extraordinary circumstances such as danger of death, it is better to delay baptism temporarily in order to investigate the Catholic faith than it is to be baptized outside the Church and then later have to go through the process of becoming Catholic or to never end up becoming Catholic.
Thus I recommended a temporary delay on the individual’s part to allow her to conduct an investigation of the credentials of the Church.
Hope this helps!