Month: April 2011

Are Catholics Chicken or Something?

Chicken27

Recently I was getting into my truck, and a gentleman I didn’t know came over to talk to me.

He was out front having a smoke and spotted me while I was getting into my vehicle, so he came over and introduced himself.

Turns out he’s my neighbor’s father-in-law.

He wanted to talk to me about Jesus and the end of the world.

Now, he wasn’t one of the Family Radio people who think that Judgment Day is going to occur May 21, 2011 (just watch; Harold Camping’s prediction will turn out to be wrong again), but he was—if I understood him correctly—a Calvary Chapel Evangelical who, like many in that community, think the end of the world is near, that people will be suddenly raptured away before a thousand year earthly reign of Christ, etc.

His primary interest in talking to me, though, wasn’t to swap views on the end of the world. Instead, he had something else in mind.

He didn’t actually use the following terms—our conversation took another path—but translating from Evangelicalese to Catholicese, he was concerned that I might not be saved (i.e., in a state of grace) and wanted to make sure that before I die I got to know Jesus (i.e., experienced a conversion to Christ), so he wanted to witness to me (i.e., evangelize me) so that I wouldn’t go to hell (i.e., hell).

That was right nice of him!

Turns out I was already full-up in the witnessing department—what with being an apologist and all that—but the sentiment was very much appreciated, he was a really nice guy, and we had a delightful conversation.

I hope we can chat again in the future!

I couldn’t help admiring about the gentleman the fact that he was bold enough to go up to a total stranger and start talking about sensitive personal things like whether the stranger has a properly configured relationship with God.

That’s one of the more sensitive and personal topics that can be broached, especially in a one-to-one conversation—as opposed to preaching to a big group of people and asking them individually to consider their relationship with God. The latter is peanuts. Any decent public speaker could do that. Going face-to-face with a single person and making the rectitude of his relationship with God the topic, that requires courage!

I could tell that the gentleman was nervous at the beginning of our conversation, so I did my best to set him at easy and signal that I wasn’t threatened or put off. While I didn’t have a lot of time (I was, after all, getting in my car to go somewhere), I engaged the subject with him happily and enthusiastically, and we had a great (if brief) truck-side conversation.

It brought back pleasant memories of my own time as an Evangelical.

And as I drove away, there was a prominent thought in my head: Catholics almost never do what he just did.

Why?

Why Catholics so seldom work up the courage to approach a total stranger with the message of Jesus.

One might think it’s because Catholics are chicken, that they’re afraid to do so. And of course they are. Evangelicals are, too! You have to screw up your nerve to do this kind of thing. That’s only human!

Yet Evangelicals do it and Catholics—for the most part—don’t.

Why is that?

In my next post I’ll discuss my own thoughts about why that is, but until then . . .

What are your thoughts?

RE: Your Brains

 

I was pleased by how much of the video I was able to understand, even though it's been several years since I used ASL regularly.

My skills with ASL definitely aren't enough, though, to do an ASL translation of the Secret Vatican Zombie Hunters' Guide. However if, once it's out in English, anyone wants to do a version in ASL or another language, I'm definitely open to editions in other languages.

Proper zombie defense is essential no matter what language you use!

FRINGE Fans! You Can Own Walter’s Favorite Music!

Fringe-Violet-Sedan-Chair-album-Seven-Suns-p In episode 2.10 ("Grey Matters"), Walter asks Astrid to drive him back to the lab so he can hear an album by a band called Violet Sedan Chair (he says listening to it helps him come down from being high on Valium).

In episode 2.21 ("Northwest Passage"), Walter picks up the album–Seven Suns–as pictured here. We also get to hear part of one of the songs ("She's Doing Alright").

In episode 2.23 ("Over There, Part 2"), there is a deleted scene where Peter and Walternate are driving in a car and listening to another song from the album ("Hovercraft Mother"). They also discuss the meaning of the band's music in Peter's life and how the band is different in the alternate universe. Here's the scene:

In episode 3.10 ("The Firefly"), we meet Roscoe Joyce, the keyboardist and songwriter for Violet Sedan Chair.

Now let's put on our grey business suits and fedoras, shave off our hair and eyebrows, flash over to our universe (the real one), and go back in time to Observe an event occurring in April, 2009.

In this event, J.J. Abrams, creator of FRINGE, is guest-editing an issue of Wired magazine. One of the pieces in it is called Musical Mystery Tour: Messages Embedded in Your Favorite Album. It has a timeline of different albums with messages (easter eggs) embedded in them. One item in the timeline is this:

1971 The liner notes on Violet Sedan Chair's album Seven Suns list a missing 11th song, and the penultimate track is rumored to produce hallucinatory effects when played on multiple turntables.

Seven-suns-back-cover The eleventh song on Seven Suns (according to the back cover of the album, same as held up by Walter in the picture, but here is a clearer version) is titled "Greenmana." The penultimate (next to last) track is titled "Re Fa Mi Si Sol La."

If you look on the album's back cover, you'll also see a circle with part of a piano keyboard in it, only it has an extra black key. This is the logo of Seven Suns' record company, 13th Tone Records.

On April 14, 2009, just few days after the Abrams issue of Wired came out, 13th Tone Records was trademarked.

Now let's flash forward in time to Observe an event in a record store in Seattle in early 2011. A human being named Kiki Kane makes a purchase. It is a copy of Seven Suns, published by 13th Tone in 1971. Like any record that old, it is worn and beaten.

Seven_suns1 Word spreads on the Internet that copies of Seven Suns are turning up in record stores around America. Some, after they are discovered, are sold on eBay.

FRINGE fans frantically search record stores for more copies.

HERE'S AN INTERESTING ACCOUNT BY A RECORD STORE EMPLOYEE.

Of course, the number of the vinyl records seeded in independent record stores is nowhere near enough to meet fan demand. Fortunately, you can now purchase your very own copy of Seven Suns in .mp3.

BUY IT HERE ON AMAZON. THEY'LL ALSO STORE IT FOR YOU FOR FREE IN THEIR NEWFANGLED "CLOUD DRIVE" SO YOU CAN ALWAYS DOWNLOAD IT AGAIN WHENEVER YOU WANT (E.G., WHEN YOU GET A NEW COMPUTER; YOU WON'T HAVE TO BUY IT AGAIN).

Rumor has it that there are buried clues in the album that relate to what's going to happen on the show. Maybe. If so, they aren't obvious in advance, so you don't have to worry about spoilers. (I have theories on which lyrics may be clues, but I'll save that for another time.) The album is thus safe for people who haven't yet seen season 3 (or 1 or 2 for that matter).

One word about the band's name. "Violet Sedan Chair" may sound more weird to our ears than it is. We typically think of a sedan and a chair as two different things. To us, a sedan is a type of car and a chair is … well … a chair. But this isn't just an arbitrary juxtaposition of nouns.

Historically a sedan chair (also just called a sedan) is what we sometimes think of as a litter–the kind of chair fancy people used to be carried around in so they wouldn't have to walk. Y'know, like this:

Sedan_Chair
Those things used to be big business before taxis were invented, and they're where we get the name for the type of car.

So a violet sedan chair is just a violet one of those.

"Violet Sedan Chair" is also an anagram of "Olive Can Read This."

In any event, as said, you can now own Walter's favorite music. The songs are actually pretty authentic in terms of period sound (and subject matter), the tunes are catchy, and their lyrics are awesome in a cheesy way.

GET THE MUSIC!

My favorites are "Hovercraft Mother," "She's Doing Fine," "500 Years," and "Last Man In Space."

What are yours?

Secret Vatican Document on the Last Things *Revealed*!

Italy-vatican-museum I have some rather exciting news. The short version is: I have received a previously-confidential document of the Holy See that sheds important light on the Last Things (what theologians call “eschatology”), and I will be publishing the full text of it in English soon.

Now let me give you a somewhat longer version.

One of the things I try to do whenever I can is study documents issued by the Holy See that have not come to the attention of the public. There are often fascinating things to be found within them. Lately I’ve been reading documents by the International Theological Commission, which is an advisory body working for the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

While their document’s aren’t official Church teaching, they must receive the approval of the head of the CDF, which according to the statutes laid down by John Paul II, means that the Holy See does not have any problem with them. At a minimum, therefore, the approved documents of the ITC represent legitimate Catholic opinion, and they go into some fascinating areas.

Over the last few years I have been able to publish some obscure Vatican documents in English translation. One of these was the 1970s document that was privately circulated to the world’s bishops concerning how they were to evaluate reports of apparitions in their dioceses.

Just in my work for the Register I have published and commented on multiple little-known documents connected with the sexual abuse scandal, some of them not originally published in English.

In fact, I’ve tried to make the publication and analysis of official Church documents one of the signatures of my efforts.

I’m therefore pleased to announce that I’ve obtained a new document that, up to now, has been privately circulated to the world’s bishops and that will be appearing in English for the first time.

Continue reading “Secret Vatican Document on the Last Things *Revealed*!”