As if creating "boffins" and zombie dogs weren’t enough, scientists have also created monkey zombies. And, as before, their ultimate, sinister goal is to create human zombies.
Say same technique will allow making human zombies.
YOU’RE NEXT!!!
Happy Parent's Day!
No, don’t bother to check your calendar for the date of Parent’s Day. It is not an official holiday (yet). However, one Maryland pre-school has decided to spay and neuter Mother’s and Father’s Days into one jolly Parent’s Day for fear of offending families with Two Mommies and Two Daddies. (Or should I say "Two Parents"?)
"A pre-school in Maryland has lost at least one customer after a student’s father working on the school’s newsletter was told he must change a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ greeting in the publication to ‘Happy Parent’s Day.’
[…]
"The trouble began when [David] Becker [the student’s father], while typing the newsletter, changed a hand-written greeting from ‘Happy Parent’s Day!’ to ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ After submitting the final draft, a teacher contacted Becker and said the greeting would have to be changed back to ‘Happy Parent’s Day!’
[…]
"Becker then asked the administrator: ‘Who would we be offending on Mother’s Day?’
"The response: ‘What about families with two fathers?’
"Becker then asked about Father’s Day. He says he was told: ‘You can’t say ‘Father’s Day’ either.’"
One wonders how Mother’s and Father’s Days slipped beneath the radar of the the More-Sensitive-Than-Thou crowd for so long. Next on the chopping block will undoubtedly be Arbor Day for its outrageous preference for trees to the exclusion of flowers and grass. But wait! There is already the More Sensitive Option of Earth Day.
And so it goes in our society’s continuing ever-spiraling decline into irrelevance.
Happy Parent’s Day!
No, don’t bother to check your calendar for the date of Parent’s Day. It is not an official holiday (yet). However, one Maryland pre-school has decided to spay and neuter Mother’s and Father’s Days into one jolly Parent’s Day for fear of offending families with Two Mommies and Two Daddies. (Or should I say "Two Parents"?)
"A pre-school in Maryland has lost at least one customer after a student’s father working on the school’s newsletter was told he must change a ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ greeting in the publication to ‘Happy Parent’s Day.’
[…]
"The trouble began when [David] Becker [the student’s father], while typing the newsletter, changed a hand-written greeting from ‘Happy Parent’s Day!’ to ‘Happy Mother’s Day!’ After submitting the final draft, a teacher contacted Becker and said the greeting would have to be changed back to ‘Happy Parent’s Day!’
[…]
"Becker then asked the administrator: ‘Who would we be offending on Mother’s Day?’
"The response: ‘What about families with two fathers?’
"Becker then asked about Father’s Day. He says he was told: ‘You can’t say ‘Father’s Day’ either.’"
One wonders how Mother’s and Father’s Days slipped beneath the radar of the the More-Sensitive-Than-Thou crowd for so long. Next on the chopping block will undoubtedly be Arbor Day for its outrageous preference for trees to the exclusion of flowers and grass. But wait! There is already the More Sensitive Option of Earth Day.
And so it goes in our society’s continuing ever-spiraling decline into irrelevance.
Dangerous Lawnmower Stunts
Down yonder a reader asks concerning robotic lawnmowers that automatically cut people’s grass:
"Isn’t that dangerous? What if there are kids in the neighbourhood?"
It might well be. I don’t know what kind of safety precautions these things have or what laws there may be concerning where they can be used.
However, here’s an even more amazing lawnmower engineering thingie (cowboy hat tip: Southern Appeal).
It’s called the Sky Cutter, and you can order your own kit to make one remarkably inexpensively.
For the record, this isn’t a lawnmower that has been rejiggered to fly. It’s a model airplane that has been rejiggered to look like a lawnmower, one of a number of novelty model aircraft produced by FlyingThingZ.Com.
Most amazing is a film of the Sky Cutter in action–set to the tune of Cotton-Eyed Joe. As they put it at Southern Appeal: "Pure (Redneck) Genius"!
YEE-HAW!!!
WATCH THE MOVIE (Windows Media Player)
The Best Of JimmyAkin.Org
Howdy, folks!
Just an operations note.
I had a business meeting until late last night, and didn’t have time to prepare my usual slate of blog entries. As a result, today will be a light blogging day on my part. My co-bloggers will still be here, but I’m afraid that my contributions today will have be "encore posts" from last year.
Enjoy!
Tuesday Photo Caption
Starting captions:
Children's Alleged Prayers To God!
Google says that these prayers show up on 512 different Internet sites, so count this one as #513.
I have no idea where these come from or if these are at all authentic, but they’re still funny and charming, so here goes . . .
1. Dear God,
please put another holiday
between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother
but what I asked for was a puppy.
I never asked for anything before.
You can look it up.
Joyce
3. Dear Mr.
God,
I wish you would not make it so easy
for people to come apart
I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet
4. God,
I read the bible.
What does beget mean?
Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison
5. Dear God,
how did you know you were God?
Who told you?
Charlene
6. Dear God,
is it true my father
won’t get in Heaven
if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita
7. Dear God,
I bet it’s very hard for you
to love all of everybody in the whole world.
There are only 4 people in our family
and I can never do it.
Nancy
8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah
the best of all of them.
You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn
9. Dear God,
my Grandpa says you were around
when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis
10. Dear God,
do you draw the lines around the countries?
If you don’t, who does?
Nathan
11. Dear God,
did you mean for giraffes
to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma
12. Dear God,
in bible times,
did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
13. Dear God,
how come you did all those miracles
in the old days and don’t do any now?
Billy
14. Dear God,
please send Dennis Clark
to a different summer camp this year.
Peter
15. Dear God,
maybe Cain and Abel
would not kill each other so much
if they each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry
16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring,
but it never did come yet.
What’s up? Don’t forget.
Mark
17. Dear God,
my brother told me about
how you are born
but it just doesn’t sound right.
What do you say?
Marsha
18. Dear God,
if you watch in Church on Sunday
I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara
19. Dear God,
is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,
or do you just know him through the business?
Donny
20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody
could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that.
I am not just saying that because
you are already God.
Charlesv
21. Dear God,
it is great the way you always
get the stars in the right place.
Why can’t you do that with the moon?
Jeff
22. Dear God,
I am doing the best I can.
Really !!!!
Frank
And, saving the best for last .
23. Dear God,
I didn’t think orange went with purple
until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night.
That was really cool.
Thomas
[NOTE FROM JIMMY: Actually, my personal favorite was #20, but the sunset one obviously impressed the anonymous author of the list more. #2 and #5 were personal favorites as well.]
Children’s Alleged Prayers To God!
Google says that these prayers show up on 512 different Internet sites, so count this one as #513.
I have no idea where these come from or if these are at all authentic, but they’re still funny and charming, so here goes . . .
1. Dear God,
please put another holiday
between Christmas and Easter.
There is nothing good in there now.
Amanda
2. Dear God,
Thank you for the baby brother
but what I asked for was a puppy.
I never asked for anything before.
You can look it up.
Joyce
3. Dear Mr.
God,
I wish you would not make it so easy
for people to come apart
I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.
Janet
4. God,
I read the bible.
What does beget mean?
Nobody will tell me.
Love Alison
5. Dear God,
how did you know you were God?
Who told you?
Charlene
6. Dear God,
is it true my father
won’t get in Heaven
if he uses his golf words in the house?
Anita
7. Dear God,
I bet it’s very hard for you
to love all of everybody in the whole world.
There are only 4 people in our family
and I can never do it.
Nancy
8. Dear God,
I like the story about Noah
the best of all of them.
You really made up some good ones.
I like walking on water, too.
Glenn
9. Dear God,
my Grandpa says you were around
when he was a little boy.
How far back do you go?
Love, Dennis
10. Dear God,
do you draw the lines around the countries?
If you don’t, who does?
Nathan
11. Dear God,
did you mean for giraffes
to look like that or was it an accident?
Norma
12. Dear God,
in bible times,
did they really talk that fancy?
Jennifer
13. Dear God,
how come you did all those miracles
in the old days and don’t do any now?
Billy
14. Dear God,
please send Dennis Clark
to a different summer camp this year.
Peter
15. Dear God,
maybe Cain and Abel
would not kill each other so much
if they each had their own rooms.
It works out OK with me and my brother.
Larry
16. Dear God,
I keep waiting for spring,
but it never did come yet.
What’s up? Don’t forget.
Mark
17. Dear God,
my brother told me about
how you are born
but it just doesn’t sound right.
What do you say?
Marsha
18. Dear God,
if you watch in Church on Sunday
I will show you my new shoes.
Barbara
19. Dear God,
is Reverend Coe a friend of yours,
or do you just know him through the business?
Donny
20. Dear God,
I do not think anybody
could be a better God than you.
Well, I just want you to know that.
I am not just saying that because
you are already God.
Charlesv
21. Dear God,
it is great the way you always
get the stars in the right place.
Why can’t you do that with the moon?
Jeff
22. Dear God,
I am doing the best I can.
Really !!!!
Frank
And, saving the best for last .
23. Dear God,
I didn’t think orange went with purple
until I saw the sunset
you made on Tuesday night.
That was really cool.
Thomas
[NOTE FROM JIMMY: Actually, my personal favorite was #20, but the sunset one obviously impressed the anonymous author of the list more. #2 and #5 were personal favorites as well.]
Monk Season 3 On DVD!!!
JUST RELEASED TODAY!!!
HIGHLIGHTS:
- Mr. Monk goes to New York City!
- Mr. Monk gets a job at Wal-Mart! (only without it being called "Wal-Mart")
- Mr. Monk goes on Jeopardy! (only without it being called "Jeopardy!")
- Mr. Monk solves the murder of Bruce Lee! (only without him being called "Bruce Lee")
- Mr. Monk takes medicine to cure his OCD!
- Mr. Monk is forced to live in a cabin . . . in the woods!
- Mr. Monk gets buried alive! (literally! in a coffin!)
- Mr. Monk goes to Las Vegas!
Plus!
Also, this season feature’s the much-beloved Sharona’s last episode (for now!) and the introduction of Monk’s new assistant, Natalie. If you’re a Natalie fan, be sure to get this season so you can obsessively document her arrival on the show. If you’re a Sharona fan, be sure to get it so you can obsess about the good times we had when Sharona was here. If you’re a fan of both Sharona and Natalie, get it so you can obsess about both!
World's Strongest Dad
Last week a co-worker sent around an email with an evil .pdf file attachment of an amazing article from Sports Illustrated. Happily, I was able to find the article reproduced on the Internet. The world’s strongest dad, in case you were wondering, is not a muscle-bound Mr. Olympian who happens to have a couple of kids. He’s a 65-year-old Massachusetts man named Dick Hoyt who has spent the last quarter-century competing with his wheelchair-bound son in marathons, climbing mountains with his son on his back, and towing his son in a dinghy in swimming competitions:
"[A]fter a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the school organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out [on his computer], ‘Dad, I want to do that.’
"Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ‘porker’ who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he tried. ‘Then it was me who was handicapped,’ Dick says. ‘I was sore for two weeks.’
"That day changed Rick’s life. ‘Dad,’ he typed, ‘when we were running, it felt like I wasn’t disabled anymore!’"
And so Hoyt kept giving his son that physically-liberating experience by continuing to take his son on sporting adventures. Rick Hoyt has given back to his father by keeping his dad in such great shape that the senior Hoyt survived a heart attack doctors told him he might not have survived without the strength he’d gained from exercising. Rick does have one wish though:
"’The thing I’d most like,’ Rick types, ‘is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.’"
GET THE (LIFE-AFFIRMING) STORY.
There are those who would say that Rick Hoyt’s severe physical disabilities meant that his life wasn’t worth living. Dick and Rick Hoyt have proved them wrong. And that’s how we’ll rebuild the Culture of Life:
One family at a time.