Picture Puzzler Revealed!

Mysteryproduct_1Okay…

Time to let everyone off the hook on the mystery cube, though I’m afraid your combox speculations may be more entertaining than my original thought.

Gene Branaman’s comment only served to remind me that I am not running in the right artsy social circles. If, during my art career, I had payed more attention to strategic shmoozing, I might indeed be able to display my cube of meat on a marble pedastal in some urban gallery and probably make several thousand dollars on the thing.

I found Jimmy’s observation about the "greenish stripe" a little unsettling, as my family had already cooked and eaten the cube in question. I think it is a result, though, of a phenomenon we artists call "simultaneous color contrast". The "stripe" is actually grayish, but in contrast to the surrounding reddish color, appears green-ish.

I sure hope so, anyway.

What you have all been looking at is what I like to call (for want of a better name) Tur-Fu!

It is processed turkey meat, carefully formed into the approximate shape of a block of Tofu. I am hoping to market this to people who… umm… don’t like, or who may be allergic, to tofu.

Problem is, ground turkey tastes pretty good (we made chili), which is a characteristic not generally found in tofu. I have been trying to think of a way to extract all the flavor out of the turkey, so that it tastes more like styrofoam.

Or air.

Oh, well. I will keep trying.

I know that this won’t be everyone’s cup of Earl Grey, but I am just trying to provide alternatives, here. 

I do want to reassure everyone that no soybeans were harmed in the making of this post!

Dialing For Jesus

Did you know that you could ring up Jesus? Well, it’s not a direct pipeline to heaven but it is possible to hear a few words from on high each day.

"If you knew Jesus’ phone number, would you call him? And by the way, that number is (631) 667-5569.

"A lot of people would, according to Msgr. Frank Gaeta, pastor of Ss. Cyril and Methodius Parish in Deer Park and creator of a 24-hour-a-day recorded phone message system called ‘Dial a Moment With Jesus.’

"Callers, of course, do not actually have a telephone conversation with the Son of God, but they do hear a three-minute spiritual message recorded by Msgr. Gaeta each day.

"This service has been offered for approximately eight years, first at St. Brigid’s Church in Westbury when Msgr. Gaeta was pastor there and now at Ss. Cyril and Methodius; so far there have been 75,000 calls. ‘I think people enjoy hearing another voice,’ he said."

GET THE STORY.

Now if I could just find the Blessed Mother’s phone number….

She Flourishes

Princetonseal

Don’t tell the ACLU but the motto of Princeton University is Dei sub numine viget (Latin, "Under God’s light she flourishes"). The she likely refers to Princeton, of course, but lately it can also mean the Catholic Church. In a recent column, George Weigel spotlighted the beginnings of a Catholic renaissance on the campus of Princeton University:

"Having taught James Madison at the College of New Jersey (as Princeton was then known), the Rev. John Witherspoon has a claim to the honorable title, ‘Grandfather of the U.S. Constitution.’ What, I wonder, would a good Presbyterian Scotsman like Witherspoon make of the fact that Princeton University Chapel now has a Blessed Sacrament chapel, complete with tabernacle and icon of Our Lady of Guadalupe?

"Some might imagine the good reverend spinning in his grave at an impressive rate of r.p.m.’s. I think he’d be pleased, once he got over the initial shock. For Princeton’s vibrant Catholic community is, today, at the center of the enterprise to which John Witherspoon dedicated his life: the dialogue of faith and reason in the service of democracy and human freedom. If you’re a student looking for an intellectually challenging education and a Catholic community whole-heartedly committed to the new evangelization, or if you’re a parent looking for such a school for your son or daughter, you could do far worse than look at Princeton. Indeed, you’d be far better off with Princeton than with several high-priced institutions whose Catholicism is vestigial at best.

"The Princeton Catholic renaissance is nothing short of amazing — and heartening. It’s currently led by a marvelous chaplain, Father Tom Mullelly, who believes in leading by forming leaders. Three Sunday Masses, a well-attended daily Mass, and adoration of the Blessed sacrament keep Princeton’s Catholics eucharistically centered. The RCIA program brings new Princetonian Catholics into the Church every Holy Week — during which outdoor stations of the cross give a powerful witness to the central story of western civilization. Numerous Bible studies, ‘Catholic principles’ studies, and similar discussion groups maintain a lively conversation about Catholic truth and its application in the world. The campus ministry organizes an annual spring pilgrimage (Rome and Spain were recent destinations). Distinguished Catholic speakers are regularly invited to campus; a Gregorian chant choir offers an introduction to classic Catholic music; and Princeton’s Catholics pray Vespers every Tuesday evening with Princeton’s Episcopalians and Lutherans."

GET THE STORY.

All too often I’m asked by Catholic parents to give a list of 100-percent Catholic colleges and universities. I do my best to help them find that information, but I also caution them to be open to the possibility that there may be vibrant Catholic communities at otherwise secular universities that can act as counterbalance to a secular education. While that’s not as ideal as a 100-percent Catholic college, it’s a much better option than a nominally-Catholic university, an orthodox Catholic college that doesn’t fit a particular student’s education needs, or a secular university devoid of a Catholic presence.

It’s great to know that if your kid is Ivy-League material, Princeton offers a great Catholic environment in which he or she can flourish.

WOO-HOO! The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. On DVD! (Maybe!)

BriscoIt appears that The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. may FINALLY be coming to DVD!

YEE-HAW!!!

TVShowsOnDVD.Com reports:

After years of rumors and finger-crossing, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. will likely come to DVD in 2006. Warner Bros have given me the go-ahead to post the news that it’s strongly being considered for release next year. They haven’t started on the project yet, so they can’t say with 100% certainty that it’s coming, but things are looking good for our boy. We posted news that this was coming before, but that was secondhand info and obviously wasn’t reliable.

This is a show I’ve fought very hard to get on DVD, so I’m excited by the news that it’ll be coming out. It’s currently the 3rd most popular unreleased show on the site, and Bruce Campbell fans are diehards and throw their support behind the actor; I think the release will be successful. We’re very much "in-the-loop" on this title, so stay tuned for more news when we get it [SOURCE].

For those who may not be aware, The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. was an outstanding saddlepunk series that Fox aired back in 1993. It’s a lot like the old 1960s series Wild, Wild West–only good (or better).

I didn’t wach Brisco when the show was first on because of the way Fox advertised it. (I.e., as a Western done "Fox style"–wink, wink, nudge, nudge–implying a lot more sexual content than the show actually had.) And apparently a lot of other people didn’t, too.

Fox wasn’t really behind the show and debuted it in the 8 p.m. Friday Death Slot, which is guaranteed to kill programs in short order (as happend to Star Trek Enterprise in its last season) due to the fact audiences are unusually low at that time, making it hard to get ratings.

It aired just before The X-Files (and, you’ll note, when the latter started to get popular the network moved it out of Friday night and onto Sunday–a high TV-audience night).

Brisco lasted only a season, but what a season it was!

I discovered the show when TNT was airing it Saturday mornings, and it was good enough to pull me away from watching cartoons (which was an accomplishment).

The show had tremendous potential, and it’s really a shame that the network didn’t give it more of a chance. It seems to have been a couple of years ahead of its time, because the exact same kind of anachronistic in-joking that the show did was later used to great effect on Hercules and Xena, both shows that were extremely popular in their day.

The program tells the story of a bounty hunter named (are you ready?) Brisco County Jr., who is hired by wealthy San Francisco robber barons to hunt down a particular gang of criminals who (coincidentally), killed Brisco’s father, lawman Brisco County Sr.

That much is more of less standard Western fare, but the show injected numerous sci-fi elements, including the mysterous "orbs’ (metallic devices that look like floating ocean mines) that came from the future and had mysterious powers, like endowing people with superstrength, turning bad characters good, and consuming and trapping evil androids.

The show also featured a lot of anachronistic, forward-looking humor, like a character named "Aaron," who was a knockoff of Elvis Presley and who had invented "day-glasses" (glasses with darkened lenses) to protect his eyes from the sun.

Or Brisco’s rival (and later partner) Lord Bowler, an ultra-macho ex-Buffalo Soldier who’s secret dream was to move to the Napa Valley and plant a vineyard (hence: the origin of California’s Napa wine industry).

Or John Astin (formerly Gomez Addams) playing Prof. Wickwire, a crazy inventor who comes up with (are you ready?) crazy inventions–like rocket-propelled trains and things like that.

Brisco County Jr. himself is played by Bruce Campbell (better known as Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy, which is comedy horror rather than comedy sci-fi western).

Anyway, it’s a great show, and I wanted to give a head-up to other Brisco fans out there that the long wait for (legitimate) DVDs may FINALLY be coming to an end!

Will keep you posted!

MORE BRISCO MEMORIES.

Laudare

Dominicannuns_2

What is your first reaction when you see a picture like this? Is it "It’s wonderful to see nuns in full habit having fun"? Perhaps it is "How charming!" Or maybe it’s just a smile. If these guesses are close to your first reaction, you may be surprised to hear of another gut reaction given by one Catholic:

"Dominican sisters become the last word in the decadent fashion of modern religious life."

GET THE POST.

Back in the Glory Days of the Catholic Counter-Reformation of the sixteenth century, one young nun shocked her sisters by jumping on a table and dancing while merrily clicking her castanets. What happened to this rebel sister? Was she dragged off by the Inquisition, never to be heard of again? It may surprise those shocked by the fun-loving nuns in the picture above to know that dancing nun was eventually canonized and made a Doctor of the Church.

She is known today as St. Teresa of Avila who is famous for saying "From silly devotions and sour-faced saints, good Lord deliver us."

Amen.

Matres, Non Permittite Infantis Vestri Adolescere Esse Armentarii

B16 recently gave a speech in Latin encourating people to learn (of all things) Latin.

Maybe he gave it in Latin so that people would have to learn Latin to find out he was encouraging them to learn Latin.

Anyhoo . . . he also encouraged the teaching of Latin through new techniques, which I AM ALL FOR. The pedagogy in many Latin books (like Collins’s AWFUL Primer of Ecclesiastical Latin) is horribly out of date and seems designed to make learning the language hard on students.

I’d love to see a Latin textbook modelled off of Bill Mounce’s (excellent) Basics of Biblical Greek or an audio course for Latin based on the Pimsleur method.

Unfortunately, none of those things exist.

I’ve noodled around with writing a Latin textbook, but thus far it hasn’t come together for me. I’ve been able to simplify a lot of Latin instruction using a largely inductive method of teaching, but the Latin noun endings system is such a bear to try to teach in that fashion (or any fashion) that I’m not satisfied with the results yet.

Hopefully the pope’s impetus for better Latin pedagogical methods will serve as the impetus for better Latin pedagogical methods.

To go along with new teching methods there are also a lot of new Latin words to be taught. One of the things that

THIS ARTICLE ON THE POPE’S SPEECH

notes is that the group he was talking to

has also published a dictionary, the Lexicon Recentis Latinitatis, containing more than 15,000 neologisms translated into Latin.

For those who ever wondered about the Latin equivalent for "computer," "terrorist" or "cowboy," there are now answers.

"Instrumentum computatorium" is the way the Latinitas Foundation refers to computers.

Those who sow violence and terror are called "tromocrates (-ae)"; while characters in Westerns are called "armentarius."

Some of the words of the Lexicon Recentis Latinitatis can be consulted on the foundation’s Web page.

CHECK OUT THE LIST
(Thanks to the reader who e-mailed.)

US Troops Beg to Differ

SoldiersThe Christian Science Monitor runs THIS article, in which American service-people in Iraq voice their perplexity at the gloom-and-doom coverage of the war.

While hardly a unique piece, it should be read by everyone with an interest in the U.S. mission in Iraq.

The current national debate is not actually about the Iraq war in particular, so much as it is about whether America has the stomach to really finish anything she starts. It is far more a test of our national attention span than a debate over the merits of the current conflict. We are the ADHD nation, the MTV nation. The truth is, many of us are just tired of hearing about the war.

GET THE STORY.

There seems to be a new understanding about what constitutes a Good War, if not a just one. Many, seemingly, will support a war in theory, but only if it meets the following requirements:

  • Victory must be assured (victory being understood as universal approval from our both our allies and our enemies).
  • There must be guarantees that no civilians will be harmed. Failure to achieve this makes the U.S. guilty of war crimes.
  • There must be no U.S. troop casualties. Any loss of U.S. personnel will be taken as a sign that Things are Going Badly. Only bad guys should be harmed.
  • We must know exactly how long the conflict will take. We are a busy people.
  • There should be a clearly set spending limit. Any overage will deducted from the next war.
  • We reserve the right to Change our Mind in the middle of any conflict. We consider that the above rules are binding, just not on us.

I am thinking of printing the following bumper sticker, a real morale-booster from the far left:

To Our Troops: We Support You!… even though we believe your mission is pointless and possibly evil. We hope you are home soon, you poor saps!

BIG RED DISCLAIMER: This post was NOT written by Jimmy Akin, but by me, Tim Jones, a guest poster. Combox flames should be directed solely at me, Tim Jones. Thank You.

“Set PHaSRs On Blind!”

PhasrYessirree, you’re lookin’ at an honest-to-God PHaSR, right here!

A Personnel Halting and Simulation Response system, that is.

It was recently unviled by the Air Force as a form of non-lethal crowd control and, like the phasers on Star Trek, is a laser-related weapon. (It also looks suspiciously like certain 24th century type III marine combat phaser rifles.)

It shoots a pulsed beam of green laser light that is intended to temporarily blind ("dazzle") the targets it is trained on, making it useful for crowd control and dazzling potentially dangerous motorists who are approaching military checkpoints too fast (i.e., as if to ram through them or suicide bomb or something).

Similar white-light-based systems are already being used in Iraq to stop potential terrorists careening toward military checkpoints, but the new system may be more effective.

An important aspect of the PHaSR system is that it does not (or is not supposed to) cause permanent blindness. Permanently blinding laser weapons do exist, but they are banned under a 1995 U.N. protocol and so are not used.

The PHaSR system seeks to avoid permanent blindness by automatically sensing the distance to the target and (apparently) adjusting the strength of the laser beam it emits (though the military is presently a bit cagey on exactly how this works).

It also uses two different frequencies of light in case the target is wearing goggles to block one frequency.

SWEET!

Now if they’d just develop zatnikitels. You just can’t beat that "one shot stuns, two shots kill, three shots disintegrates" functionality.

GET THE STORY.

P.S. Y’know, this only raises the question of why they never used a sub-stun setting to dazzle people on Star Trek.