A reader writes:
I am attending RCIA this year, and with Lent fast approaching, my sponsor and I are trying to come up with an appropriate penance.
There are a number of caveats, however, that are making this a challenge. I am a single parent of a daughter who is a few years old (just baptized recently!); I work full-time; and I attend school part-time. I rarely watch television (because the programming appalls/bores me) or eat out (because I simply can’t afford to). I suffer from depression related to a medical condition for up to a week each month. Last year, I determined to say the Rosary everyday. While it was enlightening to do so, it may not have been the wisest choice; I didn’t realize that it was all Sorrowful Mysteries through Lent, so I was in a funk for a month after Easter.
My boyfriend jokes that my lifestyle is so Spartan that it seems there’s nothing to give up; certainly, the only things are to diligently start or stop doing something. The only trick is figuring out what that ought to be.
First of all, I want to say that it is wonderful to hear how God is moving in your life, in spite of the difficulties you are facing right now.
Concerning Lenten penances, you should be aware that, except for the fast and abstinence that will be required after you become Catholic (unless your medical condition interferes with them), it is not mandatory that you "give up something for Lent." This is a common and praiseworthy custom, but not a requirement.
Here’s how the Code of Canon Law describes what Catholics do on penitential days, like those in Lent:
Can. 1249 The divine law binds all the Christian faithful to do penance each in his or her own way. In order for all to be united among themselves by some common observance of penance, however, penitential days are prescribed on which the Christian faithful devote themselves in a special way to prayer, perform works of piety and charity, and deny themselves by fulfilling their own obligations more faithfully and especially by observing fast and abstinence, according to the norm of the following canons.
If you want to do something special for Lent, you could add something–prayer, acts of piety, acts of charity–rather than giving something up. Indeed, your decision last year to say the Rosary would be an act of adding a prayer (though you can take it easy on yourself regarding the mysteries if you choose to do that again; the sorrowful mysteries are not mandatory in Lent, and if you find they exacerbate your depression, you can say the joyful or glorious or luminous ones instead). If you would prefer to do something else, you could also choose to say some other prayer or do a little Scripture reading or study the Catechism a little in preparation for becoming Catholic.
One thing that the canon above mentions as a form of self-denial is striving to fulfill one’s duties more faithfully, and you could simply try to apply yourself a little more in your daily situations.
Given the depression that you face, I would consider doing something to resist the depression, such as thinking about the blessings that you do have in your life (like your daughter!) and thanking God for them. Or you might decide to try to go out of your way to get your daughter to smile or laugh, thus bringing joy to her and making you feel good, too.
Also, don’t feel that you have to commit to just one thing for the whole of Lent. If you find that whatever you choose isn’t benefitting you, or benefitting you that day, then feel free to switch to something else, or simply skip it that day. These voluntary penances are meant to encourage us gently to grow in holiness, and if you find yourself being unduly burdened by them, it is a sign that you need to let up on yourself or switch to something else.
I hope this helps, and God bless you as you approach your reception into the Church!
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