Category: Curios & Humor

Viktor Or Viktor Victor In Ukraine?

KIEV (DAILY PLANET) – Street demonstrations continued in the Ukraine today as Ukrainians demonstrated in the street to express their outrage over the hotly disputed election in their state.

At issue was whether Viktor Yushchenko or Viktor Yanukovych was elected president of the Ukraine last week.

Numerous Ukrainians charged voter fraud and ballot manipulation at the polls. A consensus among the demonstrators, however, suggested that the largest factor producing election confusion was the similarity of the two candidates’ names.

"It’s just too confusing!" said demonstrator Viktor Yushkovych. "I meant to vote for Viktor Yushchenko, but I ended up voting for Viktor Yanukovych!"

"He’s right!" said fellow demonstrator Viktor Yanuchenko. "I wanted to Viktor Yanukovych to be victor, but I voted for Viktor Yushchenko. We’ve got to have candidates with less similar names!"

The Ukraine situation has made a striking impact on the world of the arts.

Mediums all over the world reported that the ghost of Oscar Wilde is now working on a new play based on the disputed election: The Importance Of Being Viktor.

Meanwhile, Julie Andrews is planning a remake of her 1982 film Victor/Victoria. Originally set in turn of the century Paris about a woman pretending to be a female impersonator, the new film Viktor/Viktor will now be set in present day Kiev and will tell the story of a woman pretending to be two identically-named politicians from different parties.

HERE'S The Beef!

You remember the "Where’s the beef?" campaign by Wendy’s hamburger chain, lo these many years ago?

It featured octagenarian ordinary woman Clara Peller insistently asking "Where’s the beef?" when presented with various burgers that had tiny hamburger patties and oversized buns.

The implication was that Wendy’s had the biggest burgers around.

They didn’t.

Rival chain Hardee’s did.

I know this because one of my college roommates worked for Hardee’s, andhe was incredibly frustrated by the fact that Hardee’s didn’t seize the day and produce a rival "Here’s the beef!" campaign. Instead, they stuck with their boring "Real food for real people" campaign.

Well, Hardee’s is up to it again.

They’ve now released the "Monster Thickburger":

The Hardee’s fast food chain has rolled out its new 1,400-calorie Monster Thickburger, with 107 grams of fat.

The sandwich boasts two one-third-pound

beef patties, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese, topped with

mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun [SOURCE].

BODACIOUS!

Hold the bun on mine.

Still no word on the "Here’s the beef!" campaign.

C’mon, Hardee’s! Carpe diem!

HERE’S The Beef!

You remember the "Where’s the beef?" campaign by Wendy’s hamburger chain, lo these many years ago?

It featured octagenarian ordinary woman Clara Peller insistently asking "Where’s the beef?" when presented with various burgers that had tiny hamburger patties and oversized buns.

The implication was that Wendy’s had the biggest burgers around.

They didn’t.

Rival chain Hardee’s did.

I know this because one of my college roommates worked for Hardee’s, andhe was incredibly frustrated by the fact that Hardee’s didn’t seize the day and produce a rival "Here’s the beef!" campaign. Instead, they stuck with their boring "Real food for real people" campaign.

Well, Hardee’s is up to it again.

They’ve now released the "Monster Thickburger":

The Hardee’s fast food chain has rolled out its new 1,400-calorie Monster Thickburger, with 107 grams of fat.

The sandwich boasts two one-third-pound
beef patties, four strips of bacon, three slices of cheese, topped with
mayonnaise on a buttered sesame seed bun [SOURCE].

BODACIOUS!

Hold the bun on mine.

Still no word on the "Here’s the beef!" campaign.

C’mon, Hardee’s! Carpe diem!