Moviegoers to Hollywood: Make better movies!

The last three or four months have seen a remarkable sign of box-office slump: For sixteen consecutive weeks, domestic weekend box-office receipts have been lower than the corresponding weekends from the previous year, 2004. Added: That’s one week away from the record 17-week recession set in 1985 — "one box office record we don’t want," Exhibitor Relations chief Paul Dergarabedian commented this week.

It’s not just that ticket sales are down — that’s been happening for at least three years. But because ticket prices continue to climb, Hollywood seldom takes in less  money each week on a year-over-year basis for more than two or three weeks in a row. (For example, during the same 16-week period in 2004, the weekend box office never dipped below 2003 levels for more than two consecutive weeks. Of course, as a friend of mine observed, the early part of last year might have been unusually strong due to the lingering effects of The Return of the King and the powerhouse presence of The Passion of the Christ.)

In any case, in the last 16 weeks not even the release of a the third and final Star Wars prequel could boost the box office to the levels it enjoyed a year ago. Nor could media blitzes, drummed-up controversies, or big names like Ron Howard, Russell Crowe, Adam Sandler, and Ridley Scott, Orlando Bloom pump movies like Cinderella Man, The Longest Yard, and Kingdom of Heaven to box-office success.

Hollywood execs, of course, are scrambling to point to all kinds of factors, from the continuing rise of DVDs and Internet use. But a few bold voices are wondering whether the problem isn’t the movies themselves. Amy Pascal, chairwoman of Sony Pictures Entertainment’s motion picture group, has a startling suggestion for Hollywood: Try making better films.

"We can give ourselves every excuse for people not showing up – change in population, the demographic, sequels, this and that," she said. "But people just want better movies."

Better movies. What a concept. Mrs. Pascal’s suggestion may not be the most popular advice in Hollywood — but it sounds pretty good to Paul Dergarabedian, who actually puts a positive spin on this view of things:

"It is much more chilling if there is a cultural shift in people staying away from movies… Quality is a fixable problem."

BatmanbeginsThe reason I’m mentioning this now is that this week a movie opens that could turn around the box-office slump… and certainly deserves to. Batman Begins is the best Hollywood studio film of the year so far, in addition to being one of the best super-hero movies of all time, and easily the best Batman movie ever.

Considering the years of trouble Warner Bros had even getting this picture made, what with directors, scripts and stars coming and going on a regular basis, it’s amazing that it turned out so well. In the end, they did everything right: Instead of a schlockmeister director like like Joel Schumacher (Batman Forever, Batman and Robin), they got a gifted filmmaker, Christopher Nolan (Memento, Insomnia); instead of casting a marquee name like George Clooney or Val Kilmer, they cast talented, brooding Christian Bale. And instead of making the villains the real stars of the film, they made the hero the star.

What’s more, the film has real-world relevance. The bad guys are a crypto-organization that wants to wage war on human decadence — but their methods include decapitating prisoners, instilling terror, and unleashing weapons of mass destruction on large metropolitan areas. Hm, sound familiar? 

It’s a terrific film, though some viewers, critics and otherwise, would apparently prefer a return to the first two Tim Burton films, and don’t know what to make of a story in which Batman’s parents were killed by somebody other than the Joker, or where the film is more interested in character development and moral themes than colorful villains, big explosions, and campy dialogue.

One caveat: If you decide to go see Batman Begins this weekend, don’t bring the kids. It’s way too dark and scary for young viewers (a mature 10 or 12 would be the cutoff in my book).

My Batman Begins review

Added: Will Batman rescue the box office? Get the story.

Other stories on the box office slump:  one | two

Diff'rent Folks

Who would you think of if asked for a name of Greatest Child Star Ever? Wouldn’t you automatically think of those child stars who have made something of their lives, transitioning from the difficulties of child fame to make their mark as adults? Apparently, becoming a well-adjusted adult is not a requirement for being considered Greatest Child Star Ever:

"VH1 has named Gary Coleman No. 1 on its list of the top 100 child stars ever. Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin was second, and the Olsen twins were third.

"Coleman, now 37, was the precocious star of the hit sitcom Diff’rent Strokes, which ran from 1978-86. Coleman played Arnold, who along with his older brother Willis (Todd Bridges) moves from Harlem to live with an affluent white family in Manhattan.

"In 2003 Coleman joined 134 other candidates to run for governor of California. Arnold Schwarzenegger successfully replaced the recalled Gov. Gray Davis, but Coleman got a few more minutes in the spotlight.

"’This is really interesting and cool and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it because I get to be intelligent, which is something I don’t get to do very often,’ the 4-foot-8 actor said then."

GET THE STORY.

Coleman doesn’t get to be intelligent very often? Poor man.

Director-actors Ron Howard and Jodie Foster did manage to hit the top ten. But the article didn’t even mention Shirley Temple Black, possibly the iconic child movie star and a woman who made her mark not only in acting but also in the U.S. Foreign Service as an ambassador to Ghana and to Czechoslovakia.

‘Course, that’s small potatoes compared to running for governor of California in a come-one, come-all special election open to anyone with $3,500 and 65 signatures.

Diff’rent Folks

Who would you think of if asked for a name of Greatest Child Star Ever? Wouldn’t you automatically think of those child stars who have made something of their lives, transitioning from the difficulties of child fame to make their mark as adults? Apparently, becoming a well-adjusted adult is not a requirement for being considered Greatest Child Star Ever:

"VH1 has named Gary Coleman No. 1 on its list of the top 100 child stars ever. Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin was second, and the Olsen twins were third.

"Coleman, now 37, was the precocious star of the hit sitcom Diff’rent Strokes, which ran from 1978-86. Coleman played Arnold, who along with his older brother Willis (Todd Bridges) moves from Harlem to live with an affluent white family in Manhattan.

"In 2003 Coleman joined 134 other candidates to run for governor of California. Arnold Schwarzenegger successfully replaced the recalled Gov. Gray Davis, but Coleman got a few more minutes in the spotlight.

"’This is really interesting and cool and I’ve been enjoying the heck out of it because I get to be intelligent, which is something I don’t get to do very often,’ the 4-foot-8 actor said then."

GET THE STORY.

Coleman doesn’t get to be intelligent very often? Poor man.

Director-actors Ron Howard and Jodie Foster did manage to hit the top ten. But the article didn’t even mention Shirley Temple Black, possibly the iconic child movie star and a woman who made her mark not only in acting but also in the U.S. Foreign Service as an ambassador to Ghana and to Czechoslovakia.

‘Course, that’s small potatoes compared to running for governor of California in a come-one, come-all special election open to anyone with $3,500 and 65 signatures.

Coming To A TVMovie Screen Near You

For some years they’ve been talking about doing a full-scale motion picture of The Simpsons.

Word has been, though, that they wouldn’t do it until the TV series wraps.

But the TV series has proven far more resilient than anybody imagined. Heading into its 17th season this fall, the series has become The Series That Wouldn’t Die.

Kinda helps a show stay fresh when the premise is as wide-open and unbound to conventions of realism as The Simpsons is, I guess. (I mean, the show may not be as fresh as the immortal Season 5, but can you even imagine how stale a typical sit-com would be in its 16th year? . . . Brrrrrr!)

So the movie-delayers finally threw in the towel and The Simpsons theatrical movie is now in production!

YEE-HAW!–I mean–WOO-HOO!

GET THE STORY.

Coming To A TVMovie Screen Near You

SimpsonsFor some years they’ve been talking about doing a full-scale motion picture of The Simpsons.

Word has been, though, that they wouldn’t do it until the TV series wraps.

But the TV series has proven far more resilient than anybody imagined. Heading into its 17th season this fall, the series has become The Series That Wouldn’t Die.

Kinda helps a show stay fresh when the premise is as wide-open and unbound to conventions of realism as The Simpsons is, I guess. (I mean, the show may not be as fresh as the immortal Season 5, but can you even imagine how stale a typical sit-com would be in its 16th year? . . . Brrrrrr!)

So the movie-delayers finally threw in the towel and The Simpsons theatrical movie is now in production!

YEE-HAW!–I mean–WOO-HOO!

GET THE STORY.

Happy Birthday, Donald!

Donald_duckToday in 1934 Donald Fauntleroy Duck made his first appearance in the Silly Symphonies cartoon "The Wise Little Hen."

He became Disney’s second most popular character, next to Mickey Mouse (kind of their Daffy Duck to Disney’s Bugs Bunny).

He also went on to star in comic books (notably drawn by the great Carl Barks), TV shows, and other media.

You gotta admire a duck who could be that good natured and succeed despite that big a speech impediment (far worse than Daffy’s).

LEARN MORE ABOUT DONALD’S HISTORY.

ALSO LEARN ABOUT THE MAN BEHIND HIS VOICE–an Oklahoma boy who made it big talking like an incomprehensible duck.

Happy birthday, Donald!

Death Of A Superfan

Where will all the superfans go now that the Star Wars phenomenon is no more?

"Now that any die-hard Star Wars fan worth his lightsaber has seen Episode III: Revenge of the Sith at least once, what’s a Jedi to do?

"The end of the Star Wars movies leaves a gaping hole in the galaxy of geekdom. And it begs the larger question: Is the era of the superfan over?

"No longer is there any variation of Star Trek on TV. The Grateful Dead essentially passed with Jerry Garcia, and even Phish is done now. The seminal pop-cult experience may be a thing of the past."

GET THE STORY.

In the spirit of optimism for the fate of the superfan, I propose that we figure out what will happen to the Superfan Geeks now. Remember the old proverb "Old soldiers never die, they just fade away"? Fill in the following blank for the Superfan in the combox:

Old Superfans never die, they….

Ticket Trouble

So I was trying to use MovieFone to buy tickets for Episode III this morning, and I’m listening to this electronic dude doing over-the-top gung-ho AM radio announcer voice stylings and trying to navigate to the tickets I want to purchase.

I start with the tiny, out-of-the-way theater just down the street where I like to see movies and can avoid huge Mall crowds–though this particular movie on this particular weekend will undoubtedly be crowded. I get through to the right set of data and it tells me today’s remaining showtimes for the film. Then it lists a number of options like choose an additional theater, choose a different movie, or choose a different day.

No option to buy tickets.

I listen to the menu again just to make sure.

No option to buy tickets.

Presumably this is because the theater is old and they don’t have one of those stick-in-your-credit-card-to-get-your-tickets droids installed at the theater. (At least I can’t remember seeing one there.)

But if they’re not going to sell me tickets, why don’t they tell me that? How hard could it be to work a "We’re sorry, but this theater does not have tickets available for purchase by phone" message into the voicemail structure? At least then their patrons wouldn’t be at a loss for what to do when the purchase ticket option isn’t presented.

So I hang up and call back and pick a different theater.

This one has tickets available for purchase!

So I select my showtime and it says:

"Please enter the number of bargain tickets you wish to purchase."

I select 0 since don’t have any special discounts from having a coupon or being a college student or anything and so I figure on paying for a standard adult ticket.

"Please select the number of childrens’ tickets you wish to purchase."

0.

"Please select the number of senior tickets you wish to purchase."

0.

"You have made an invalid selection. Please try again."

To make sure I haven’t hit the wrong key by mistake and told it that I want * senior tickets or # senior tickets, I walk through the selections again–bargain, childrens, senior–telling it I don’t want any of these. I just want one adult ticket.

"You have made an invalid selection. Please try again."

Apparently the showtime I selected was early enough in the day that there are ONLY bargain tickets, childrens tickets, and senior tickets. There are NO standard adult tickets available for purchase and they expect adults to buy bargain tickets at this time of day. (Either that or the call ALL adult tickets "bargain" tickets in an attempt to get adults to think they’re getting a bargain.)

But if this is the case, why don’t they tell me that? How hard can it be to add a message to the voicemail saying "The time of day you have selected offers bargain tickets instead of standard adult tickets. Please select the number of bargain tickets you wish to purchase."

MovieFone, I’m glad you’re there, but you’ve got a ways to go.

And take the smug tone out of your prerecorded voice. Talk to me like a human being, not a victim of AM radio. I’m calling because I want to see a movie. You don’t need to go into hyper-salesman mode to get me to see one.

Star Wars III-A: Attack of the Virus

As you know, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith is now in theaters. I hope to see the movie sometime this weekend. Some diehard fans of the film couldn’t wait for the weekend. Their desire to be at the theater on opening night led to a strange malady that forced many to call in sick today:

"For some in the tech industry, the chance to see Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in its opening couple of days is just not something they’re willing to pass up—at any cost.

"And while that early viewing may be a badge of honor for geeks around the world, the ‘Star Wars flu’ may pull down productivity figures, analysts warned.

"’There’s nothing like being here for the first showing,’ said an IT manager for a financial brokerage firm on Wednesday, while standing in line in front of the Metreon theater complex in San Francisco.

"He had called in sick in order to see the midnight showing on the DLP (digital light processing) cinema screen. After spending quite a few hours in the cold and drizzle, he added that he might not make it to his job on Thursday, as he felt a ‘second day’ of his cold coming on."

GET THE STORY.

Amazing, isn’t it, how a long-anticipated film can be a carrier of the cold-and-flu virus.

Seriously though, what is it about grown men and women that too many of them seem never to have heard of the concept of delayed gratification? Instead of figuring "Hey, I’ve waited six years for the final episode of the prequel trilogy; I can wait another day or two and catch the movie this weekend," the thought processes are more like, "Must … see … NOW!"

Patience is an underrated virtue in our society, I’m afraid.