*MAD* SCIENTISTS: We Created A Black Hole On Earth!

BlackholeA group of mad scientists have created a black hole on Earth.

In New York!

Well, New York has been a black hole for a long time, so I guess it’s appropriate.

They reportedly smashed streams of gold atom nuclei into each other "at the speed of light" (or, at least, so says the press) to create THE BLACK HOLE OF NEW YORK.

Now, this is a rather doubtful story, but assuming that there is any truth at all to the report, what I want to know is: HOW DARE THEY CREATE SUCH A THING???

I mean: We don’t know enough about such phenomena to allow their creation on Earth willy-nilly!!!

One black hole can ruin your whole reality.

GET THE (SHOCKING) STORY!

(Cowboy hat tip to the reader who sent it!)

Classics Of Internet Humor 1

The next few days are Classics Of Internet Humor time here at JimmyAkin.Org (e-mail me your suggestions for inclusion in the celebration), so let’s get things off on an ecumenical note by flashing back to the Clinton era. Here’s a fictitious news story from back when were here helping out all those Bosnians:

Operation Vowel Drop

CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said. "Today, the United States must finally stand up and say `Enough.’ It is time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words. The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavour."

The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Movement by the State Department, is set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated to be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E’s," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.

"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said. "I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one `E.’ Please."

Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries. This is my dream."

The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign country since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital, life-giving supplies of L’s, S’s and T’s.

Emergency Fasting For Terri

TerriEd Peters asks:

Can we consider emergency fasting for Terri Schiavo?
   
     Options:

  1. a "Bread and Water" fast until Terri is fed again; or
  2. a "Good Friday" fast (one meal per day, two smaller ones if necessary, and no meat) until Terri is fed again; or
  3. no snacking or eating out till Terri is fed again; or
  4. some physical sacrifice for Terri, her husband and his lawyer, all those defending Terri, and all those attacking her.

Any of these still allow us far more food and water than Terri is getting, but if you have any questions about your own ability to fast, check with a qualified advisor, and follow his or her advice. Never eliminate fluids, especially water, even for what might seem short periods of time. May God bless Terri, and may God bless our country.
   

     "The New Law practices the acts of religion: almsgiving, prayer, and fasting, directing them to the Father who sees in secret…" Catechism of the Catholic Church, no. 1969. Lent is an especially appropriate time to offer up fasts. CCC nos. 1434, 1438.

RELATED: A canonical implication of the Terri Shiavo case.

Terri

Terry_and_mom

Okay. Lunchblogging on a desperate day for Terri Shiavo.

In case you haven’t been keeping up with developments:

  1. The U.S. Congress reportedly issued a subpoena that was served on Terri, requiring her to come to Washington to testify to Congress and making it a federal crime to harm her until this could be done.
  2. A judge (not Darth Greer) ordered that Terri’s food tube not be removed.
  3. Darth Greer overturned this order and re-ordered Terri’s starvation.
  4. Terri reportedly tried to say "I want to live" in front of multiple witnesses.
  5. UPDATE: Terri’s food tube has been removed. The MURDER has begun.

MORE:

On Friday afternoon, less than a hour after probate court judge George W. Greer ignored federal subpoenas and ordered that Michael Schiavo remove the feeding tube from Terri which will cause her death by starvation, Terri Schiavo before multiple witnesses indicated that she wanted to live.

According to attorney Barbara Weller, one of the attorneys representing Terri’s parents, Mary and Bob Schindler Sr., when her parents and attorneys visited Terri at the Woodside Hospice where she resides to tell her they were going to remove her feeding tube, Terri began to cry and tried to say “I want to live”

Attorney Weller said she had a difficult time calming Terri down.

GET THE STORY.

Meanwhile, Peggy Noonan warns:

Here’s both a political and a public-relations reality: The Republican Party controls the Senate, the House and the White House. The Republicans are in charge. They have the power. If they can’t save this woman’s life, they will face a reckoning from a sizable portion of their own base. And they will of course deserve it.

This should concentrate their minds.

So should this: America is watching. As the deadline for removal of Mrs. Schiavo’s feeding tube approaches, the story has broken through as never before in the media.

READ THE REST.

GET THE LATEST.

Bad News For Darth Kennedy & Our Robed Masters

REALCLEARPOLITICS THINKS JUDICIAL ACTIVISM IS ENTERING A PERFECT STORM.

Excerpt:

After six decades of expansion, the tendency of judges to impose their preferences on society, rather than simply interpret the law as written, may have reached its apogee. Judicial activism, as this writing of law from the bench is known, faces a confluence of forces which promise relief for the principles of Constitutionalism, and for the American people they protect. The trend of judicial activism morphing into judicial tyranny faces a perfect storm.

Bad News For Darth Kennedy & Our Robed Masters

REALCLEARPOLITICS THINKS JUDICIAL ACTIVISM IS ENTERING A PERFECT STORM.

Excerpt:

After six decades of expansion, the tendency of judges to impose their preferences on society, rather than simply interpret the law as written, may have reached its apogee. Judicial activism, as this writing of law from the bench is known, faces a confluence of forces which promise relief for the principles of Constitutionalism, and for the American people they protect. The trend of judicial activism morphing into judicial tyranny faces a perfect storm.