A reader writes:
I am hoping you can help me on this matter. I am a cradle Catholic and my husband is a convert. While all my life I observed some sort of Lenten practice, this is the first year where I have truly felt both a belonging to my Catholicism and a need to be more Catholic.
Needless to say, we were the kind of Catholics who did practice contraception for many years. Well, I finally got the nerve to tell my husband that I wanted to switch to NFP. At first he thought I was out of my mind, and actually projected that this could end our marriage. Well, I didn’t give up on him and was able to project a very positive belief that this would not only work out, but actually improve our relationship. To shorten this story, one morning (after much anquish), he "saw the light" for lack of any better term and agreed that this could be an answer.
Now the question. The next NFP planning seminar in our area is not for over three weeks. When I called up the Diocese Respect Life Co-ordinator she kind of intimated that I might be alright to go on as we were until we go through the program.
Well, I think my husband is ok with her answer or explanation, but I have not been able to go to communion and feel after all these years that now I am sinning egrigiously.
Could you please help or explain this situation for me. Thank you and God Bless You.
Contraception is intrinsically evil, meaning that it is never permitted to perform an act that has a contraceptive effect as its end or as its means of achieving its end. Consequently, I could not recommend that you wait until the next class that the diocese is sponsoring.
I would strongly recommend that you switch to NFP immediately (for the sake of marital peace; later as a couple you should re-evaluate whether you should use NFP at all). Here’s how:
First, READ THE INFORMATION HERE AND THE LINKS TO OTHER RESOURCES IT INCLUDES.
This will give you a basic start.
Second, CONSIDER ORDERING THIS HOME STUDY COURSE IN NFP.
You may be able to get it overnighted to you.
Then, go to the class when it is held.
If you husband isn’t amenable to this, please write back and let me know.
God bless you and your husband for your willingness to respond to God’s grace in leading you in this matter!
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Thank you for posting this, Jimmy. We should all say a little prayer for this couple. (AND the diocese coordinator!) I know from personal experience that switching to NFP (and then “switching” to God’s will!) has opened my marriage and family to COUNTLESS graces!
God Bless…
I applaud your courage in bringing this issue to your spouse. It is difficult, at times, for a spouse to accept that their mate may be changing and growing in ways they did not anticipate. May God reward your perseverence.
Peace in Christ.
Just a note on the Home Study course if the reader decides to get i. It is WONDERFUL, but a bit dense. Don’t try to read it like a book (cover to cover) as it has chapters that cover every conceivable contingency (from post pregnancy to menapause). Focus on the early chapters and the ‘getting started with..’ sections to begin getting familiarized with the concepts. It takes several readings to digest all that’s involved, but don’t get overwhelmed. The basic principles are actually quite simple.