When I saw the following news story on a Santa contest turned ugly, I thought I had clicked on the satire news site The Onion by mistake. No such luck. There actually are people out there who take Santa contests so seriously that they darkly suspect fellow competitors of dirty play.
"The British Father Christmas who lost his Santa of the Year world crown has lashed out, citing a suspected campaign to stop him from winning again that has damaged ‘Santa morale.’
"Ron Horniblew, 70, has been authorised by the Master Santa in Greenland and is part of the elite international Santa circuit who compete at the Santa Winter Games, where up to 50 Father Christmases compete for the world title.
"Estonian accordionist Aare Rebban grabbed the crown ‘amid dark mutterings of political voting, professional jealousy and backbiting,’ The Mail on Sunday newspaper said."
I don’t know about you, but if one of these bickering Santas is assigned to visit my home on Christmas Eve, he’s going to find set out for him a lump of coal rather than a glass of milk and a plate of cookies.
You mean… Santa isn’t real??!!
Just like that? No spoiler swipe??!!
I live in Arkansas.
If Santa (the secular, jolly-old-elf guy) visits our area, I would suggest he just leave the presents at the end of the driveway and back away s-l-o-w-l-y.
Otherwise, he might be mistaken for a revenuer.
Tolkien’s Father Christmas is the real St. Nicolas. The others are just Tom Bombadil and Goldberry, or evil robots of the commerce sector 😉