St. Michelle, Patron of Crabby Bloggers?

In response to the quiz in which it was revealed that I have "the rare gift of bilocation" and am therefore *obviously* on the road to sainthood [she said, while ignoring the snickering and catcalls of readers who know her personally and are lining up to be the devil’s advocate for her cause], a reader asked:

"Michelle, after your beatification, what do you see yourself being the patron saint of? And what would be your first pick as a feast day? ;-)"

Thinking the question fun and important — hey, the first step to sainthood is considering sanctity to be an achievable goal — I’ve thought about it and decided: I’m putting in dibs to become the patron saint of crabby bloggers and would like my feast day to be the day on which Blogger was founded, which was sometime in August 1999. That way I can intercede both for crabby bloggers and for the smooth functioning of the technology that allows them to be public crabs.

Since everyone should consider sanctity to be an achievable goal, feel free to place dibs in the combox for the human endeavor for which you want to be a patron saint and the day you’d pick as a feast day were you consulted on the decision (keeping in mind that the Church usually assigns you the date on which you were born into the next life… in other words, the day you die).

13 thoughts on “St. Michelle, Patron of Crabby Bloggers?”

  1. St. Eric of Perryville; Patron of Chiropractors, Acupuncturists, Herbalists, and Fathers of LARGE families!!! 😉

  2. St. Kristy, Patron of those “afflicted” with Curly/Wavy/Frizzy Hair
    Feast Day: Any day from April thru September, when, in the TX Gulf Coast region, heat and humidity are a daily battle.
    🙂 🙂 🙂

  3. “Isn’t St. Jerome the patron saint of grumpy people?”
    Yes, which is why I am graciously proposing to take some of them off his hands. 😉

  4. St Gene (but his friends call him Moochie), patron saint of procrastination. And the feast day would have to be . . . um, hmmm, let’s see, (SIGH) – I’ll just figure that one out tomorrow . . . sometime.
    And I know Expeditus kinda-sorta already beat me to this but, as he’s possibly legendary, I’ll just step in & be the specific go-to saint for procrastination. When I get around to it.

  5. I think I’d be the patron saint of annoying little brothers (if I make it that far.)
    My sisters sympathize with the Foxtrot characters.
    My feast day will be whenever somebody kills me (most likely one of my sisters.) Though I doubt it’d be considered a martyrdom.

  6. St. Benedict the lesser, patron saint and special protector of the abused.
    Feast Day: October 31, so the whole of Domestic Violence Awareness month leads up to it.

  7. St. Scott of Milford — Patron saint of Papas who are always fixing things that their kids broke. Master of removing pennies from slot loading optical drives, repairing cracked door hinges, removing tollway tokens from car cassette decks, removing peanut butter fingerprints from DVDs, untangling balloons from ceiling fans, cleaning melted plastic from wood stoves, repairing power cords chewed by vacuum cleaners, etc.
    Feast day: February 3rd – the day my youngest (and most “curious” child was born).
    (St. Joseph, pray my children don’t kill us “by accident”)

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