Introducing Bennifer

Bennifer

On the off-chance that any of you follow our national reality soap opera As Tinseltown Turns, JimmyAkin.org can save you the outlay on next week’s People magazine. (Or, if you’d rather start up another Hollywood marriage betting pool, we’ll give you the scoop you need for that, too.) The couple known as Bennifer — Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, not Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, in case your People subscription lapsed recently — have married:

"Jennifer Garner has gone where no woman has gone before — down the aisle with Ben Affleck.

"The twosome, who are expecting their first child together this fall, exchanged vows Wednesday at the Parrot Cay resort in the Caribbean islands of Turks and Caicos.

"’They’re married and they’re expecting their first child,’ the newlweds’ reps, Ken Sunshine and Nicole King, said in a sparse but official statement.

"The surprise nuptials were attended by Garner’s Alias costar, Victor Garber, who looked on as the white-clad bride kissed her new husband following a sunset ceremony, per the National Enquirer."

GET THE STORY.

Congratulations, many happy returns, stay together ’til death parts you, and all that.

Now. Will someone please tell me why this news deserved up-to-the-minute front-page coverage at Yahoo? I haven’t looked around at other news sites, but it wouldn’t surprise me if there were breathless newsflashes up on those sites too. And another question: Why is this country so shallow that we must entertain ourselves through voyeuristic peeks into the private lives of people who are paid outrageous sums of money to pretend to be other people for a living?

The Freakanomics of Tinseltown…. Now that would be an interesting economic analysis.

10 thoughts on “Introducing Bennifer”

  1. I completely agree, Michelle.
    WHO CARES?!?!?!?!?
    shallow is as shallow does.
    I remember reading LOTS of complaints about the complete Vatican news coverage world-wide for three weeks in April – and my thought was:
    Well, 1/6 of the world population is Catholic and that is why. Plus, JP2 was one of the most important people to live in the 20th century, at the very least.
    and if you can’t take three weeks, then my question is:
    WHY???? did we have to have Scott Pederson shoved down our throats every day for over a year?
    I am sorry for Lacy and her baby, but what about all of the other horrific, tragic, murders that occur daily and don’t involve beautiful, wealthy, white women??????????
    shallow, indeed

  3. I’m not holding my breath on their actually staying together 🙂 I don’t pay much attention to the relationships of the unrealistically pretty people in hollywood.

  4. When I took my journalism classes (nearly 20 years ago now), PEOPLE magazine was the number one magazine in the US and at least 25% of all newscasts were actually “entertainment” news. Our prof opined that no matter what the medium, the primary interest of most people would be some sort of gossip.
    It just disgusts me that we waste so much of our lives on it.

  5. I totally agree, Michelle. Who are these people? Why should I invest time in knowing about their lives? What sort of personal thril do folks get from following the private lives of celebs & Royals they don’t know personally & will more than likely never meet? I simply do not understand it at all. I’ve never been one for the cult of personality.
    But on the more personal side of things . . . I went to college with Benjamin Bratt – he was in the acting classes one year ahead of me; he went by Jamin then. Nice guy. When I lived in LA in the early 90’s, he was part of our little group of starving, pavement-pounding actor/theater types. He was less starving ‘cos he’d been cast in a couple series. When I moved, I lost track of most of those folks. I’ve kinda followed the careers of a few, like Jamin, who have been successful. When I heard Jamin was dating Julia Roberts, I was really saddened. He’d moved beyond being a talented actor & became a tabloid target, a name to sell gossip rags. That relationship has totally overshadowed his career since they broke up. Just as Affleck’s various relationship antics have overshadowed his. Very sad.

  6. Here’s a quick exercise to get you angry at news coverage. Listen to the “news” update at the top of the hour on talk radio. It doesn’t matter what station. After each news byte, ask yourself what this bit of news does to help you in your daily life or even in making decisions about the greater world around you. You will be lucky to hear one byte that actually is usefull. The rest is filler. This is pushed home even more if Fox is doing the news update because they end their “news” update with “We report, you decide.”

  7. i JUST WONDER WHY IF YOU, JIMMY, HAVE TIME TO ADDRESS THIS SILLINESS, YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME TO RESPOND TO FOUR E-MAILS FROM ME ABOUT TATTOOS AND THE FACT THAT YOU MAY HAVE PUT INACCURATE INFORMATION OUT ABOUT THE CHURCH’S TEACHING ON THAT ISSUE?
    ARE YOU TOO BUSY OR ARE YOU IGNORING THE ISSUE?

  8. Ann, the post on Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck is mine, not Jimmy’s. JimmyAkin.org is a group blog. You can determine who wrote each of the posts by looking at the bylines under the post title and at the end of the post.

  9. This incessant celbrity worship reminds me of being back in high school, except now that it’s the entire North American continent caught up in this nonsense. I don’t understand how, for instance, so many middle-aged, supposedly adult women can go weak in the knees over, say, Brad Pitt. When I was a teenager, most of our “idols” looked like adults, not baby-faced, scruffy bums or savages like Colin Farrell or Russell Crowe (granted, Crowe is a fine actor). An example would be the late Stephen Boyd, Charlton Heston’s co-star in Ben-Hur. He always appeared in public well-groomed and impeccably dressed. The same holds true for Roger Moore — never a hair out of place. (OK, he used spray, LOL!) And don’t get me started on the female contingent — does anyone remember the late Audrey Hepburn? Can anyone honestly say that there is a female celeb today who can hold a candle to her grace and charm? I doubt it! And as one poster above pointed out, this preoccupation with celebrities’ personal lives is pretty pathetic. I like Harrison Ford’s acting, but really don’t much care about what he eats for breakfast … As William Shatner once said to the Trekkies:
    “People, get a life”!!!!!

Comments are closed.