This Week's Show (Feb. 6, 2005)

LISTEN TO THE SHOW.

DOWNLOAD THE SHOW.

Highlights:

  • Info on Lent.
  • Must a gentleman wait until Easter 2006 to become Catholic?
  • If you’re in mortal sin, will God hear your prayer?
  • Can one join a fraternity at college even though they have secret rituals?
  • Why does the priest add water to wine at Mass?
  • Bible Code!
  • What is the unforgivable sin?
  • Can a Mass be said for more than one person?
  • How to explain to someone why the Church doesn’t sell all its material assets and give the money away? (My answer begins: "I’d tell him to grow up . . . ")
  • What are the Knights of Malta?
  • Does Isaiah say a "maiden" or a "virgin" will be with child?
  • Can one spring a soul from puragtory by fulfilling the conditions of a plenary indulgence?
  • Can Catholics be Masons and why should one do about it if they are? What about Masons wanting to become Catholic?
  • Is the water mixed with wine at Mass a symbol of baptism?
  • Is there a verse against donating blood?
  • How do we know the Catholic faith is pleasing to God?

This Week’s Show (Feb. 6, 2005)

LISTEN TO THE SHOW.

DOWNLOAD THE SHOW.

Highlights:

  • Info on Lent.
  • Must a gentleman wait until Easter 2006 to become Catholic?
  • If you’re in mortal sin, will God hear your prayer?
  • Can one join a fraternity at college even though they have secret rituals?
  • Why does the priest add water to wine at Mass?
  • Bible Code!
  • What is the unforgivable sin?
  • Can a Mass be said for more than one person?
  • How to explain to someone why the Church doesn’t sell all its material assets and give the money away? (My answer begins: "I’d tell him to grow up . . . ")
  • What are the Knights of Malta?
  • Does Isaiah say a "maiden" or a "virgin" will be with child?
  • Can one spring a soul from puragtory by fulfilling the conditions of a plenary indulgence?
  • Can Catholics be Masons and why should one do about it if they are? What about Masons wanting to become Catholic?
  • Is the water mixed with wine at Mass a symbol of baptism?
  • Is there a verse against donating blood?
  • How do we know the Catholic faith is pleasing to God?

A Complex Circle

Willthecirclebeunbroken1NOTE: In its native form, "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" is one of the three saddest songs ever written together with "Tomorrow Never Comes" (Creedence Clearwater Revival) and "Ashokan Farewell" (Various). 

NOTENOTE: By the authority vested in me as blog administrator, I am the arbiter of what counts as the saddest songs ever written. No song is in this category until I hear it and judge it so.

NOW: A good piece back I started getting into the unique sound of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.

The Dirt Band’s sound was unique in that it didn’t fit into any of the typical categories of popular music in its day (the late 1960s and 1970s). "What is it?" some promos asked. Was it Rock? Country? Folk? Bluegrass? Or something else?

Truth be told, the Dirt Band’s music is today what we might classify as Country-Rock. This was before Rock n’Roll fell apart in the late 1980s and the ensuing remnants were swept up into contemporary Country (which is surprisingly Rock-like), insipid Pop, noxious Hip-Hop, and offensive Rap.

But not all the Dirt Band’s work is Country-Rock. A notable exception is its 1971 album Will The Circle Be Unbroken.

This album is much more traditional, with melodious melodies courtesy of Country-Folk-Bluegrass artists such as Doc Watkins, Earl Scruggs, and Mother Maybelle Carter.

It was a meeting-of-the-generations album, with the Dirt Band (representing youth) joining established artists (representing the older generation) to create wonderful, traditional music.

In a time when the "generation gap" was the talk of the nation, the cover of the album bore the hopeful legend: "Music forms a new Circle."

Indeed it did.

The title song of of the album was sung by country-legend Mother Maybelle, together with the Dirt Band and all the other artists appearing on the album.

The song tells the story of a person who is forced to surrender one’s mother to the reality of death and who wonders whether the whole of the family circle will or will not be reunited with God in heaven.

The central lyric and the chorus of the song is as follows:

Will the circle be unbroken?
By-and-by, Lord, by-and-by?
There’s a better home a-waitin’,
In the sky, Lord, in the sky!

As the chorus suggests, the song has notes of hope, caution, and loss.

It was fitting that Mother Maybelle take the lead in singing the song since she was a member of the original Carter Family. The Carter Family was centered on A. P. Carter, who originally wrote the song. The Carter Family also included his sister-in-law Mother Maybelle Carter and, eventually, her daughter June Carter.

June Carter married music-legend Johnny Cash, to become June Carter Cash.

Mother Maybelle died in 1978, leaving her daughter (June Carter Cash) and he son-in-law (Johnny Cash) behind her.

In the 1980s, the Dirt Band decided to do a sequel album titled Will The Circle Be Unbroken, Volume 2.

This time around, Johnny Cash was one of the main guest singers on the album, and he took the lead on the album’s rendition of the song "Will The Circle Be Unbroken" (which, once again, was sung with the Dirt Band and all the artists participating on the album).

It was a nice touch.

A. P. Carter had written the song.

His sister-in-law, Mother Maybelle, took the lead in recording it the first time around.

Now Mother Maybelle’s son-in-law, Johnny Cash, took the lead.

But the Dirt Band didn’t leave it untouched. They made one of the three saddest songs ever written sound . . . happier, with more hope than before in it. And they added a new stanza to it:

We sang the songs of childhood,
Hymns of faith that made us strong,
Ones that Mother Maybelle taught us,
Hear the angels sing along!

HEAR THEM!

AND THEIR (CLASSIC!) PREDECESSORS!

SpongeBob GaySquarePants

A while back there was a flap over Jim Dobson and comments he made regarding a video involving SpongeBob SquarePants.

To hear some tell it, Dobson accused SpongeBob of being homosexual or of promoting homosexuality in the new video.

Since I have previously said that I find SpongeBob funny, a number of readers sent me links to stories and asked me for comment.

I didn’t comment at the time because of what I considered an absence of hard fact. The stories seemed shaky to me–long on conjecture and short on fact. Frankly, I didn’t trust them. I suspected that something was being blown out of proportion somewhere.

Sure enough, by coincidence I happened to catch an appearance of Dobson on the Hannity and Colmes program in which he vociferously denied having claimed that SpongeBob was gay or that the video–which only has a few seconds of SpongeBob in it and which features just about every major cartoon character currently on Nickelodeon and similar networks–promotes homosexuality.

What he had said was that certain teaching materials associated with the video (which features cartoon characters singing the song "We Are Family" and which is to be distrubuted to schools for showing to children) are in some way supportive of homosexuality. He said that SpongeBob and the video were fine in and of themselves, but they were being used as part of a bait-and-switch strategy on school kids.

There’s some merit to that charge.

While the teaching materials that Dobson (is alleged to have) quoted aren’t readily available, the website of the makers of the video is, and it contains the following "Tolerance Pledge":

Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure. I believe that America’s diversity is its strength. I also recognize that ignorance, insensitivity and bigotry can turn that diversity into a source of prejudice and discrimination.

To help keep diversity a wellspring of strength and make America a better place for all, I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own [SOURCE].

The (probably deliberately) ambiguous phrase "sexual identity" can well be construed as referring to those who have "sexual identities" other than the straightforward biological categories "male" and "female." It likely is meant to cover people of one biological sex who have homosexual (or other) temptations. Certainly it’s ambiguous enough that it lends itself to this interpretation. The words are clunky and suggestive of an interpretation meant to cover more than what the simple word "sex" would have covered.

If I were a parent with a kid in school, I’d certainly be critical of any attempt to get my kid to say a pledge like that, including showing him a video of his favorite cartoon characters that is sponsored by an organization promoting this pledge.

Even apart from the "sexual identity" clause, there are better, more direct, and more effective ways of teaching kids to be tolerant of the legitimate differences of others besides encouraging them to say pretentious pledges. For that matter, there’s too much "tolerance" rhetoric in the schools (and in society) than is good for us, as it’s used as a codeword to stigmatize those who want to maintain traditional moral values.

"Tolerance" is not an abstract virtue any more than "intolerance" is an abstract vice. Some things ought not to be tolerated (murder, for example). Whether tolerance in any particular case is virtuous depends entirely on what one is proposing as the object of tolerance. Propose the wrong object and tolerance of it is a vice.

Now, why have I decided to comment on all this now when I didn’t at the time?

Basically, because I ran across

THIS WENDY McELROY EDITORIAL THAT CAME OUT LAST WEEK.

She says a number of things in it that I find valuable, including underscoring the basic point that people shouldn’t be dogpiling on Dobson or creating a media furor without first investigating the facts of the case, and the facts in this case are precious few.

I always like it when people in the media point out that we shouldn’t go off half-cocked before we have the facts (the latter being a chronic danger of their profession).

McElroy also points to contributing factors that led to the furor, including the fact that the media is simply hostile to Dobson.

I’d add an additional contributing factor that McElroy fails to mention: SpongeBob has been at the center of rumors of homosexuality for some time. I’ve encountered the "SpongeBob is gay" rumor a number of times from well-meaning Christians who have never watched the show but who have heard it from others.

Lemme set the record straight on that: So far as one can tell from the show, SpongeBob ain’t gay. He even has a (kind of) girlfriend. (I say "kind of" because shows meant to be enjoyed by young children tend not to get into romance very far these days.) It is very easy to explain what SpongeBob is:

He’s Jerry Lewis.

Like Jerry Lewis, SpongeBob is a comic character trapped perpetually between childhood and adulthood. He’s a perpetually awkward character who in some ways functions as an adult (he has a job, a house, he lives on his own) but has many of the mannerisms and limitations of a child (he’s socially inept, can’t drive a car, has a high-pitched voice, and is naive as all get out).

There are only two major differences between SpongeBob and Jerry Lewis: (1) He’s a sponge, and (2) he’s actually funny.

I’m given to understand (though I have not verified this) that some in the homosexual community have tried to adopt SpongeBob as a mascot, and it’s easy to understand why they might want to do so. Many in the homosexual community (like any community) enjoy the thought of popular figures being members of their community, and the fact that SpongeBob is a popular and perpetual awkward man-child unlikely to ever overtly contradict the idea that he’s gay (when was the last time you saw a cartoon character do that?) makes him a tempting target.

Indeed, there is even an impulse in the homosexual community to take wholesome images of adolescence and turn them into a kind of homosexual parody. That’s why homosexual men dress up as Judy Garland from The Wizard of Oz at gay pride parades. Judy Garland’s character Dorothy is such a wholesome image of a person trapped between childhood (where the character was) and adulthood (where the actress clearly was) that homosexual activists have delighted in corrupting that image.

Well, that’s their lookout. I’m not about to let the fact that some of them have tried to subvert Dorothy into some kind of gay icon stop me from enjoying The Wizard of Oz, and if some are trying to do the same for SpongeBob, I’m not going to let that stop me from laughing at his humor.

All this does go to the question of why the Dobson vs. SpongeBob thing took off as fast as it did, though.

Though I appreciate much of McElroy’s editorial, I’m not persuaded by all of it. In particular, I’d cut Dobson more slack than she does. I’d also challenge her on one particular point. She writes:

[O]ne of the first questions I would ask is whether he would object to cartoon characters being used to inculcate sexual values with which he agrees. Frankly, I doubt he would protest Winnie the Pooh being used to advance the traditional family or the choice of women to become mothers and housewives.

Yet those choices, no less than homosexuality, are politically charged and offensive to some.

After beating up on others for conjecturing rather than checking the facts, it’s a little surprising that McElroy would feel to free to conjecture what Dobson would say about a situation without checking with him.

That aside, I’ll speak directly to the merits of the question she raises: What schools should do is reinforce the traditional moral values that society needs to keep running and that promote human dignity. Heterosexuality, the traditional family, and the choice of women to become mothers and housewives are high on that list. Those are the things that keep society running and they should be encouraged for all too obvious reasons.

If American social fabric has disintegrated to the point that this idea is now taboo in schools, all I can say is, "Well, that’s one more reason my children (should I be so fortunate as to have any) will never be placed in public schools."

SpongeBob GaySquarePants

A while back there was a flap over Jim Dobson and comments he made regarding a video involving SpongeBob SquarePants.

To hear some tell it, Dobson accused SpongeBob of being homosexual or of promoting homosexuality in the new video.

Since I have previously said that I find SpongeBob funny, a number of readers sent me links to stories and asked me for comment.

I didn’t comment at the time because of what I considered an absence of hard fact. The stories seemed shaky to me–long on conjecture and short on fact. Frankly, I didn’t trust them. I suspected that something was being blown out of proportion somewhere.

Sure enough, by coincidence I happened to catch an appearance of Dobson on the Hannity and Colmes program in which he vociferously denied having claimed that SpongeBob was gay or that the video–which only has a few seconds of SpongeBob in it and which features just about every major cartoon character currently on Nickelodeon and similar networks–promotes homosexuality.

What he had said was that certain teaching materials associated with the video (which features cartoon characters singing the song "We Are Family" and which is to be distrubuted to schools for showing to children) are in some way supportive of homosexuality. He said that SpongeBob and the video were fine in and of themselves, but they were being used as part of a bait-and-switch strategy on school kids.

There’s some merit to that charge.

While the teaching materials that Dobson (is alleged to have) quoted aren’t readily available, the website of the makers of the video is, and it contains the following "Tolerance Pledge":

Tolerance is a personal decision that comes from a belief that every person is a treasure. I believe that America’s diversity is its strength. I also recognize that ignorance, insensitivity and bigotry can turn that diversity into a source of prejudice and discrimination.

To help keep diversity a wellspring of strength and make America a better place for all, I pledge to have respect for people whose abilities, beliefs, culture, race, sexual identity or other characteristics are different from my own [SOURCE].

The (probably deliberately) ambiguous phrase "sexual identity" can well be construed as referring to those who have "sexual identities" other than the straightforward biological categories "male" and "female." It likely is meant to cover people of one biological sex who have homosexual (or other) temptations. Certainly it’s ambiguous enough that it lends itself to this interpretation. The words are clunky and suggestive of an interpretation meant to cover more than what the simple word "sex" would have covered.

If I were a parent with a kid in school, I’d certainly be critical of any attempt to get my kid to say a pledge like that, including showing him a video of his favorite cartoon characters that is sponsored by an organization promoting this pledge.

Even apart from the "sexual identity" clause, there are better, more direct, and more effective ways of teaching kids to be tolerant of the legitimate differences of others besides encouraging them to say pretentious pledges. For that matter, there’s too much "tolerance" rhetoric in the schools (and in society) than is good for us, as it’s used as a codeword to stigmatize those who want to maintain traditional moral values.

"Tolerance" is not an abstract virtue any more than "intolerance" is an abstract vice. Some things ought not to be tolerated (murder, for example). Whether tolerance in any particular case is virtuous depends entirely on what one is proposing as the object of tolerance. Propose the wrong object and tolerance of it is a vice.

Now, why have I decided to comment on all this now when I didn’t at the time?

Basically, because I ran across

THIS WENDY McELROY EDITORIAL THAT CAME OUT LAST WEEK.

She says a number of things in it that I find valuable, including underscoring the basic point that people shouldn’t be dogpiling on Dobson or creating a media furor without first investigating the facts of the case, and the facts in this case are precious few.

I always like it when people in the media point out that we shouldn’t go off half-cocked before we have the facts (the latter being a chronic danger of their profession).

McElroy also points to contributing factors that led to the furor, including the fact that the media is simply hostile to Dobson.

I’d add an additional contributing factor that McElroy fails to mention: SpongeBob has been at the center of rumors of homosexuality for some time. I’ve encountered the "SpongeBob is gay" rumor a number of times from well-meaning Christians who have never watched the show but who have heard it from others.

Lemme set the record straight on that: So far as one can tell from the show, SpongeBob ain’t gay. He even has a (kind of) girlfriend. (I say "kind of" because shows meant to be enjoyed by young children tend not to get into romance very far these days.) It is very easy to explain what SpongeBob is:

He’s Jerry Lewis.

Like Jerry Lewis, SpongeBob is a comic character trapped perpetually between childhood and adulthood. He’s a perpetually awkward character who in some ways functions as an adult (he has a job, a house, he lives on his own) but has many of the mannerisms and limitations of a child (he’s socially inept, can’t drive a car, has a high-pitched voice, and is naive as all get out).

There are only two major differences between SpongeBob and Jerry Lewis: (1) He’s a sponge, and (2) he’s actually funny.

I’m given to understand (though I have not verified this) that some in the homosexual community have tried to adopt SpongeBob as a mascot, and it’s easy to understand why they might want to do so. Many in the homosexual community (like any community) enjoy the thought of popular figures being members of their community, and the fact that SpongeBob is a popular and perpetual awkward man-child unlikely to ever overtly contradict the idea that he’s gay (when was the last time you saw a cartoon character do that?) makes him a tempting target.

Indeed, there is even an impulse in the homosexual community to take wholesome images of adolescence and turn them into a kind of homosexual parody. That’s why homosexual men dress up as Judy Garland from The Wizard of Oz at gay pride parades. Judy Garland’s character Dorothy is such a wholesome image of a person trapped between childhood (where the character was) and adulthood (where the actress clearly was) that homosexual activists have delighted in corrupting that image.

Well, that’s their lookout. I’m not about to let the fact that some of them have tried to subvert Dorothy into some kind of gay icon stop me from enjoying The Wizard of Oz, and if some are trying to do the same for SpongeBob, I’m not going to let that stop me from laughing at his humor.

All this does go to the question of why the Dobson vs. SpongeBob thing took off as fast as it did, though.

Though I appreciate much of McElroy’s editorial, I’m not persuaded by all of it. In particular, I’d cut Dobson more slack than she does. I’d also challenge her on one particular point. She writes:

[O]ne of the first questions I would ask is whether he would object to cartoon characters being used to inculcate sexual values with which he agrees. Frankly, I doubt he would protest Winnie the Pooh being used to advance the traditional family or the choice of women to become mothers and housewives.

Yet those choices, no less than homosexuality, are politically charged and offensive to some.

After beating up on others for conjecturing rather than checking the facts, it’s a little surprising that McElroy would feel to free to conjecture what Dobson would say about a situation without checking with him.

That aside, I’ll speak directly to the merits of the question she raises: What schools should do is reinforce the traditional moral values that society needs to keep running and that promote human dignity. Heterosexuality, the traditional family, and the choice of women to become mothers and housewives are high on that list. Those are the things that keep society running and they should be encouraged for all too obvious reasons.

If American social fabric has disintegrated to the point that this idea is now taboo in schools, all I can say is, "Well, that’s one more reason my children (should I be so fortunate as to have any) will never be placed in public schools."

Aramaic For "Please"?

A reader writes:

Dear Jim:  I note that please is a word that never shows up in the mass nor in our prayers.  I know that Jesus gave us the words to the Our Father which does not include the word please.  There are a number of places in that prayer where I (as a wretch) would feel please is appropriate (please give us this day our daily bread, please forgive us etc).  Is it possible that please is not used because the language spoken by Jesus did not include such a word?

You’re on to something here, though the problem isn’t just confined to Aramaic, in which the Lord’s Prayer was originally given. It also affects Latin, which is determinative of Mass and most other standard prayers. Neither of these languages has a ready-made word for "please."

"Please" is so important in English politness that it boggles our minds how another langauge can make do without an equivalent to this word, just as our minds boggle that some languages (like Latin, Irish, and Mandarin) manage to make do without a word for "yes."

Thing is: Words like "please" and "yes" don’t really have meaning as such. They are "function words"–words used to perform specific functions. "Please" is a particle of entreaty and politeness, while "yes" is a particle of agreement or affirmation. (Particles are typically short words that never change their form and perform specific functions.)

But it isn’t the particles themselves that are important: It’s the functions they perform. Every language has a way to perform the functions of entreaty, politeness, agreement, and affirmation, they just don’t have handy particles to do it.

A common way in many languages to express entreaty, for example, is to use the imperative mood. That’s what’s going on in the Lord’s Prayer, for example. You look at it in Aramaic (or Greek or Latin), and the verbs in the petitions are in the imperative mood ("give us," "forgive us," "lead us not").

That’s where the problem comes in for us English speakers: The imperative mood does double-duty in languages like the ones just mentioned, where it can serve either to mark a request or a command, but in English since we’ve sloughed off the entreaty function to "please" and other constructions ("Can you . . . ?" "Would you . . . ?"), the imperative is much more associated with commands in English.

If you just bring over an Aramaic, Greek, or Latin imperative into English literally ("Give us this day our daily bread"), it can sound to us like we’re commanding God to do something, when to the speakers of the original languages, it would have been obvious that in these cases the imperative is being used to signal entreaty. (Nobody commands God around.)

The problem is significant enough that people who might be tempted into the Health & Wealth Gospel movement have to be warned about how not to interpret imperatives in the original languages. If you look in Bill Mounce’s book Basics of Biblical Greek, for example, he has a passage warning people against intepreting imperatives directed toward God as commands. All kinds of screwy Hagan-esque "Write your own ticket with God" theology can get started if you don’t recognize how to interpret imperatives toward God.

So you’re right: There ain’t an Aramaic word that is directly equivalent to "please." The language conveys requests and politeness in other ways. That leaves us (including me) as English-speakers wishing "please" was in our standard prayers, but it ain’t. The thing for us to do is to just relax and recognize that the function is being performed by the imperative mood and that we have to take this account when we’re saying our prayers.

 

Aramaic For “Please”?

A reader writes:

Dear Jim:  I note that please is a word that never shows up in the mass nor in our prayers.  I know that Jesus gave us the words to the Our Father which does not include the word please.  There are a number of places in that prayer where I (as a wretch) would feel please is appropriate (please give us this day our daily bread, please forgive us etc).  Is it possible that please is not used because the language spoken by Jesus did not include such a word?

You’re on to something here, though the problem isn’t just confined to Aramaic, in which the Lord’s Prayer was originally given. It also affects Latin, which is determinative of Mass and most other standard prayers. Neither of these languages has a ready-made word for "please."

"Please" is so important in English politness that it boggles our minds how another langauge can make do without an equivalent to this word, just as our minds boggle that some languages (like Latin, Irish, and Mandarin) manage to make do without a word for "yes."

Thing is: Words like "please" and "yes" don’t really have meaning as such. They are "function words"–words used to perform specific functions. "Please" is a particle of entreaty and politeness, while "yes" is a particle of agreement or affirmation. (Particles are typically short words that never change their form and perform specific functions.)

But it isn’t the particles themselves that are important: It’s the functions they perform. Every language has a way to perform the functions of entreaty, politeness, agreement, and affirmation, they just don’t have handy particles to do it.

A common way in many languages to express entreaty, for example, is to use the imperative mood. That’s what’s going on in the Lord’s Prayer, for example. You look at it in Aramaic (or Greek or Latin), and the verbs in the petitions are in the imperative mood ("give us," "forgive us," "lead us not").

That’s where the problem comes in for us English speakers: The imperative mood does double-duty in languages like the ones just mentioned, where it can serve either to mark a request or a command, but in English since we’ve sloughed off the entreaty function to "please" and other constructions ("Can you . . . ?" "Would you . . . ?"), the imperative is much more associated with commands in English.

If you just bring over an Aramaic, Greek, or Latin imperative into English literally ("Give us this day our daily bread"), it can sound to us like we’re commanding God to do something, when to the speakers of the original languages, it would have been obvious that in these cases the imperative is being used to signal entreaty. (Nobody commands God around.)

The problem is significant enough that people who might be tempted into the Health & Wealth Gospel movement have to be warned about how not to interpret imperatives in the original languages. If you look in Bill Mounce’s book Basics of Biblical Greek, for example, he has a passage warning people against intepreting imperatives directed toward God as commands. All kinds of screwy Hagan-esque "Write your own ticket with God" theology can get started if you don’t recognize how to interpret imperatives toward God.

So you’re right: There ain’t an Aramaic word that is directly equivalent to "please." The language conveys requests and politeness in other ways. That leaves us (including me) as English-speakers wishing "please" was in our standard prayers, but it ain’t. The thing for us to do is to just relax and recognize that the function is being performed by the imperative mood and that we have to take this account when we’re saying our prayers.

 

HOLLYWOOD YAHOOS: "Let My Illegal Nanny Drive My SUV!"

Here in California they have this proposal to let undocumented workersillegal immigrants get drivers licenses–documents that would allow them to tap into all kinds of social benefits . . . like . . . voting in U.S. elections.

A recent advertisement in Variety (of all places!) cast an unusual light on the matter.

In a responding editorial in the San Francisco Chronicle (of all places!), Debra Saunders was insightful:

THE AD THAT ran in Daily Variety last week — signed by the usual members of the "entertainment community," including Ed Asner, Danny Glover and Mike Farrell — asked Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to sign Senate Bill 60, a bill to allow illegal immigrants to obtain California drivers’ licenses.

Not that the ad ever used the word "illegal." Instead, it used Hollywood award-speak to tell the story of Rosanna Perez, "Nominated: Best Nanny in a Supporting Role," who, because of California law, has to take the bus from her home in East Los Angeles to her job in the Westside.

They should have dubbed the ad: Let my illegal nanny drive my SUV.

"We give them access to our homes. We trust them with our children. It seems absurd to me to not grant them the respect they deserve," Farrell explained to Copley News Service.

What’s this "we" business? Most people don’t hire nannies. Only rich people can afford nannies; they can hire legal nannies.

Farrell was parroting the familiar argument — that everyone benefits from illegal immigration, through cheaper food prices at the grocery store or the fast-food joint — so the law shouldn’t penalize illegal immigrants. But the logic doesn’t work. It also is true that everyone pays for illegal immigration — for their children to attend public schools or for emergency- medical care — and so this notion of a free ride is false. Then there is the paycheck problem: Some of the people who are paying more are less-skilled Americans who have smaller paychecks because they must compete with cheap illegal labor.

So when the "entertainment community" asks for drivers’ licenses for illegal immigrants, it plays the leading role of Hollywood diva expecting stagehands and walk-ons to chip in and pay for her illegal help.

READ THE WHOLE THING BEFORE HOLLYWOOD EXPORTS THIS NUTTINESS TO YOUR STATE.