A reader writes:
Hypothetical;
A non-catholic couple, married in a civil ceremony.
Wife of couple expresses an interest in the Catholic Faith. However, she is concerned that while her husband would not be unecessarily difficult, he would want as little to do with the matter as possible.
What would need to take place in terms of convalidation?
Nothing. At least, nothing given the fact pattern you have mentioned. If two non-Catholics get married, they are not bound to observe the Catholic form of marriage and thus are presumed to be validly married unless there is something else affecting the situation (like one of them having been previously married to someone else, in which case they need an annulment but probably even then they don’t need a convalidation). I’m just not hearing anything that would trigger a need for a convalidation.
Would this take place privately at the parish (not during a Mass, for example)
Convalidations are typically private, with just a few people (witnesses) present.
What role would the husband be expected to play
Be the husband.
(other than being the husband! )?
Oh, uh . . . nothing then.
Would the husband be expected to go to private discussions with the parish priest in preparation for the event. etc (this couple have been married for a looooong time 🙂
Okay, this ain’t sounding so hypothetical any more. Not that that makes any difference. The answers are still of general educational value, one way or ‘tuther.
The answer, though, will probably vary from place to place. When my wife and I had our marriage convalidated, there was no pre-marriage prep as we’d already been living as man and wife for several years, but that might be different in other places. I couldn’t say.
how soon after a convalidation would the wifes reception into the church take place….
Thus far I haven’t heard that a convalidation is even necessary, but if one were then there would not need to be any waiting period before reception into the Church, assuming that the wife had already taken whatever instruction in the Catholic faith her situation would require.
oh, I’ve just thought of something else….what if the husband was baptised in an emergency situation as a baby and has no certificate…but also no desire to be Catholic?
Doesn’t make any difference as far as the need for a convalidation. As long as he wasn’t formally a member of the Catholic Church at the time of the ceremony, he wasn’t bound by form. If a convalidation were needed, though, he would need to be informed of the wife’s obligation to do her best to see that any kids that result from the union get raised Catholic.
Also, the conjugal relations stuff (sorry but I have to ask)… would the wife, if she were received into the faith,need to confess having sexual relations with her husband if the marriage has been convalidated
If a convalidation is not needed then there is no need to confess prior sexual relations (unless they occurred after the wife’s baptism, if she’s already baptized, and before the marriage ceremony).
If a convalidation is needed (for some reason I can’t fathom given the fact pattern as described) then the wife would need to confess prior sexual relations with the husband IF she believed them to be gravely sinful at the time and did them with deliberate consent of the will. Otherwise, they weren’t mortal sins and don’t need to be confessed.
Hope this helps! . . . er, hypothetically speaking, that is. 🙂
Here’s a related question: Husband and Wife in situation above (married, not Catholic) and one decides to convert while the other one doesn’t. Still no need for convalidation?
Why would it? The validity of a marriage has nothing to do with what you do afterward.
Jimmy says, “When my wife and I had our marriage convalidated, there was no pre-marriage prep as we’d already been living as man and wife for several years…”
I’ve never understood why there wouldn’t always be some form of sacramental preparation when a couple is getting their marriage convalidated.
After all, “marriage prep” isn’t just to make sure couples know how to get along, talk about finances and agree on parenting styles (or agree to disagree, or whatever). If it were, I can see why it wouldn’t be necessary to have couples with long-standing relationships go through it.
But we’re talking about sacramental preparation, and I don’t know why we’d think that couples having their marriages convalidated wouldn’t need it. As I understand it, convalidation is for couples who do not have a sacramental union. So why would it ever be appropriate to confer the sacrament of matrimony (isn’t that what convalidation would do?) without sacramental preparation?
(I do understand that there are times, like emergency baptism, when a sacrament would be conferred without the prep beforehand, but they do seem to be the exception.)
Maybe I’m just missing a piece of the puzzle.
Leah, my guess is that people who care enough to come in for “convalidation” are doing it precisely because they wish their union to be made sacramental – they are already persuaded of the importance of this and don’t need to sit through classes informing them of what they already know.
My husband and I had our marriage convalidated in January of 1981 – at the time we’d been married (civilly) for two and a half years, had one child and another one on the way. We were both Catholic (fallen away but returned after the birth of our first) and neither of us had a previous marriage or any impediment to the sacrament. So…we had it done, with no Pre-Cana or any “prep” aside from a short visit with the priest who would conduct the wedding. And it’s worked out just fine.